#ianfleming

I want to know what the general consensus is regarding the fuckability of all the Bonds. For this exercise, I'm imagining that you would envision each actor at their prime in the role. Basically, you should consider each one at their most fuckable, to see where you would rank them. And to be clear, this isn't meant to be reflective of anything about the Bonds other than fuckability. So, not the quality of the movies, or their performances, etc. Well, I suppose their performances will factor insofar as it affects the amount in which you want to fuck them.

For me it ranks:

Brosnan, Craig, Moore, Connery, Lazenby, Dalton (sorry Tim)

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang contains the kind of sweetness and whimsy you can’t help but fall in love with. While it isn’t on the same level as another certain musical starring Dick Van Dyke in which there are impressive scenes of choreographed dancing, and fantastical voyages to magical lands with charming British children (you know the one), it's easy to see why this has become a favorite.

Jeremy and Jemima Potts (Adrian Hall and Heather Ripley) live with their inventor of a father, Caractacus (Dick Van Dyke), and grandfather (Lionel Jeffries). Struggling to find money to fund his outrageous contraptions and inventions, Caractacus tries one fund-raising idea after another, which crosses his path with that of the lovely Truly Scrumptious (Sally Ann Howes). While grandpa stays at home, everyone else goes on an adventure in the newly constructed, most amazing car: Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

There’s just something about British children that lends itself to these light, family-friendly musical adventures. You're hooked as soon as you hear the kids (who do a pretty good job with their roles) excitedly tell their father about what kind of fancy car they want. Dick Van Dyke (this time without the hilarious British accent) is charming around the little ones and has great chemistry with his co-star, Sally Ann Howes. Their chemistry is so good any time the two are separated all you can think about is them reuniting. Yeah, the car and the inventions are nice and all, but that romance? It’s the real excitement in the film.

As a musical, this fares well. Numbers like Chitty Chitty Bang Bang are instant favorites. Others are not quite as quotable, but the scenes they’re in are iconic. I won’t forget Me Ol’ Bamboo anytime soon thanks to the spectacular dance choreography that accompanies it. Like the voices that bring the lyrics to your favorite bands’ greatest hit, the steps, kicks, and twirls are integral to many of the tunes’ success. I’d tip my hat to the Sherman Brothers for another quality job if I had one. We’re not just talking about just one or two songs either, but 13!

What unfortunately prevents the film from becoming all it could be is the excess fat. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang lasts over two hours, complete with an intermission. The second half is taken up mostly by a long fantasy sequence. Essentially a dream, it's way excessive; like two books/ movies smashed into one. Too bad the back end isn't nearly as engrossing as the first half. I wouldn’t have cut out that second storyline entirely. It also offers memorable scenes and characters (most notably Robert Helpmann as the Childcatcher). It’s too long though.

Children will be enchanted by Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. I wouldn't say it's strictly for children though. The dance choreography and the romance will be much better appreciated by the parents watching. If it’s been a while since you’ve seen the film, or you’ve delayed your viewing because of the title (we've all made the same jokes at its expense) clear your schedule and sit down with it. I look forward to seeing it again, even if… well… it’s not quite as good as that OTHER musical with the Sherman Brothers’ music and Dick Van Dyke. (On DVD, September 25, 2015)