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Tomorrow I'm gonna play Saihate Station while on a discord call w/ my gf, so I can screen share and we can voice over! UAYAYAAYYYYAyayYY DHDKABjNdhskNxha. I love my wife :3
Iād like to personally thanks Game Grumps for helping me in my journey to be more fluent in English, but especially Arin Hanson who, videos after videos, ingrained in my mind some automatic responses. Now, any time something goes wrong or when I encounter a (mild) inconvenience while Iām alone, I have the unstoppable reflex of saying out loud āFuck me in the asshole!ā.
I now live in the fear of the day Iāll say it out loud while people are within earshot.
But hey, at least my accent on this sentence is impeccable!
My best friend: Wait, if I'm finally watching BNHA, does that mean I can read Here Here?
Me:
faux self-love movies are revolting.Ā āYou're trying to be someone you aren't!ā Yeah, sweetie. its calledĀ āchangeā. you know, how real human adults hone their personalities to the best version of themselves?

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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They lay in silence except for the distant sounds of waves crashing on the shore, the occasional creak as the little cottage settles in the wind. āAre you lonely?ā Newt says quietly, remembering Hermann's earlier letters.
āI used to be,ā Hermann says, ābut Iām not anymore.ā He smiles at Newt. - extract from @hermannsthumbĀ ās merman au
One week into writing in English. Iām suddenly realizing the extent of my vocabulary. And that vocabulary is... mostly subconscious.
Iāve learned English predominantly by reading. And I learned the words not by checking their definition and learning it, but by judging the context and what should be happening given the story; mentally cross-checking the meaning I had attributed to it when stumbling upon it again in the next story. Yup, thatās how I like to learn. As you can guess, I missed a lot of infos in a lot of stories.
What it means is: I donāt have a clear definition/translation for most words, like I have with simple ones. Like, I can tell easily thatĀ āmaisonā isĀ āhouseā and I can give you a quick definition.
But I know words like āstumbleā, āwailā, āglintā,... I canāt give you a French equivalent. And Iāll have a fucking hard time explaining them. (I most likely wonāt be able to) I just have... a feeling about what those words are.
The thing is, as Iām currently writing a story, those words are appearing out of thin air in my mind, I use them, before stopping like āWait, are they actually used the way Iām using them right now?ā. I canāt answer. But when I check for a translation, 90% of the cases, Iām using them correctly.
This is at the same time impressive and terribly frustrating.
I also have in mind words like āmajoritairementā, ālampadaireā, āaffectueuxā, but I absolutely canāt find a English equivalent for any of them. When I do check, I realize I know all this words in English, Iāve seen them many many times. Thereās simply no connection between the English and French words. So when Iām starting from a word in one language, I canāt find a path in my brain leading to the word in the other language.
It took me months to finally link āreleventā to āpertinentā, because we use āreleventā quite often in English, whereas āpertinentā is less prominent in French. The context in both languages is different, and it makes my brain go completely blank. So very often, when trying to write something in French, the word āreleventā would appear in my mind because thatās what I want to say dammit, but couldnāt find anything in French. I would then shamefully end on Google Translate to try to find the French word.
I think if itās so much easier to use those words when Iām writing a story is because suddenly, I have the context. The context in which I most likely learned them at some point. Anb by god, my brain is like āFINALLY, WE CAN USE ALL THOSE WORDS STUCK THERE!ā.
I feel like Iām just sitting there, watching some incredible vocab coming out of nowhere, and Iām like āDamn girl, this was unexpectedā.
So yeah, I know a lot of words, but I can only use them in specific contexts. Veeery useful.