#humoreffy

Her fathers house didn't quite feel like home anymore, and Rachel knew that the apartment she was thinking about putting a deposit on wouldn't ever feel like it either. Only one place ever had, and she'd run away, upset and in pain and angry, emotions bubbling over as they were prone to do when too much was changing. 

She didn't want to move out. She'd known that since day one, but Effy was capable of playing games Rachel wasn't, and so Rachel tried to hit her where it would hurt her the most. Leaving. If Effy didn't bore of someone first, they bored of her, and Rachel knew it was a soft spot Effy would never admit she had open. 

And it didn't even matter anyways. Brody and her - it was never going to work, not in the long term, not when Brody was in love with her and she was still holding back. Did she really think it was a good idea to break her rule for him? To take back her words that she would never sleep with someone from the office, just for a couple weeks of fun? She was going to end up heartbroken, so maybe it was best to lick her wounds and run off before it got worse. 

But she didn't want to do it on the Upper East Side. She wanted to do it in Chelsea, where Santana woke up when Rachel went to shower and the smell of coffee wafted through the apartment, where Effy was constantly bringing a variety of men, women and the like in and out but almost always ended up snuggling against Rachel's arm when she was watching movies in the living room. It was home, more so than anything else was. Effy and Santana, they were her soul sisters despite having been an only child, and she hated being out of sorts with them. 

It didn't take her long to pack her bags, the taxi rushing through the deserted streets that met them at the late hour - her phone would have read 2:15 if she wasn't ignoring it, it's silence louder than anything else - and she did nothing more than drop them inside the front door before walking to her bedroom. 

The door was open, but she couldn't be that annoyed when she opened the door to see Effy sleeping on her bed, curled up around one of Rachel's pillows. She didn't even bother moving her, simply curled up on the other half. There was a good chance they'd never really talk about what had happened, but Rachel would make waffles in the morning for them, and they'd find peace. 

Growing up, Rachel had never thought about being a mother. Children were usually separated away from their parents, and she had spent more time with her nanny than she had her fathers when she was still in the single digit ages, but it didn't matter who she was surrounded by: children had never liked her, and therefore she had never liked them. 

Living on the Upper East Side didn't really give way to normal after school jobs like babysitting or helping out in daycares, not that any of them had ever thought about working at the tender age of 16 anyways, which meant that the sudden arrival of an infant in the apartment threw all three girls for a loop. 

To her benefit, Effy was a lot more hands on than most would have ever given her credit for. Though most assumed she was a completely heartless, emotionless bitch who cared about nothing other than drugs and sex, Rachel knew better. You couldn't be friends with someone since you were in preschool and not - if there had ever been tears in Effy's life, Rachel had witnessed them. She was just smart enough never to bring mention to them. There was no changing her best friend, and for better or for worse, that's what she was. And though she could be too abrasive even for Rachel's taste, she knew there was no one she'd rather have in her corner. 

Or, apparently, helping her raise a child. 

The first night, Effy had convinced Rachel the only way she knew how to watch horror shows and films with her, plying her with the best pot in all five boroughs. It wasn't something Rachel indulged in regularly, or even often - but every now and again, she let temptation sweep her away, and it was almost always at the hands of Effy. 

By Saturday, when it had become apparent that the parents had forgotten their child completely, Rachel had started to panic. 

By Monday, she took action. 

"I still don't understand how they just forgot they had a son," Rachel murmured, adjusting the knit hat she'd placed on Gregory's head. Though the parents had exclaimed that they were so glad to get Bud back, Rachel had promptly ignored the childs real name in favor of her own. It was much better, in the long run. 

"Whatever," Effy declared from the couch, "what time are they supposed to be here?" 

"Any minute now," Rachel reminded her, bouncing the laughing child in her lap and laughing quietly with him. "If they show up. You know, they might not. What if they've already forgotten about him again? I wouldn't be surprised." 

Nor would she be that disappointed, probably. She'd grown quite fond of their little communal parenting style over the past few days - though she'd had to talk Effy out of actually placing the baby inside of a handbag, Effy was downright maternal when it was just the two of them in the apartment. She'd even gone as far as bringing home a tiny leather jacket for him, clashing with the little sweater Rachel had bought for him, but at least he was warm and happy. Taken care of. 

"Would you really disappear if I ever decided to have a kid?" Rachel asked her aloud, turning her head to watch as Effy flipped through a magazine. "I don't think I could ever raise a child without your involvement somehow." 

Effy's eyebrow raise spoke more than any words would have, and Rachel merely scoffed in return, bringing Gregory over to sit with Effy, pushing her legs out of the way until she was sitting comfortably next to her. 

"I mean it," Rachel continued, "Maybe I'll change my mind when they come to get him, but I think I could probably do this one day. And you've helped me be who I am, I couldn't live without you in my life entirely. Maybe I'd even let you dress them." 

"I'm holding you to that," Effy smirked, "in fact, maybe we should record it so I can remind you. Of course, if you somehow manage to procreate with Weston, I'm not coming near that thing. My fascination with horror stops at part-horse children." 

"Ha, ha," Rachel said dryly, rolling her eyes as the buzzer rang from downstairs, her pout falling in line as she passed off Gregory to Effy. "Looks like our time is up."