#host problems

Host: Youre a real alter. Youre a crucial part of this system. You arent alone and youre doing a good job. Youre your own person. Thanks for being our ground.

Protector: I'm sorry for what happened, one day things will be better and thanks for protecting us. Youre doing it well.

(Emotional) Caretaker: Youre doing a good job, we love you for being so patient while the world seems against us, youre still there, thank you.

I'm the host. I get all these gifts (half of which don't feel like me anyways) and I....don't feel like I deserve them. Meanwhile these amazing people that keep me running sit in headspace and they deserve everything. I want gifts for Yami, Anwyr, Kura, Tox & Mahad! Nevermind me! They deserve it... And I know the argument is that I do too.... And maybe I do... But it would make me so much happier to see my headmates acknowledged and loved by people other than me...

Ash(the host): Wow I really hated my self as a child I even had swarming thought about how worthless I was!

Ruby(integrated alter): Wow no kidding... glares at persecutor protector.

Ash: Right my own thoughts!

me, doing my best hostess voice: hi!!! :) welcome to —

customer: two

long post ahead be forewarned 

Let me tell you about this goddamn woman I talked to on the phone the other day at work.

So the phone rings and I pick up the phone and here is how the conversation goes:

Me: “Thank you for calling *restaurant* in *location* this is *my name*, how can I help you?”

Very old woman: “Where are you?”

Now this happens at every restaurant I’ve worked at so I tell her the address.

Old woman: “No I know the address but where are you located? I can’t find you.”

So I start listing off stores nearby.

Me: “Do you know where *grocery store* is?”

OW: “No…”

Me: “Okay… Do you know where *another store* is?”

OW: “No.”

Me: “Well when you are driving down *street name* there is a Sprint store right next to us.”

OW: “What’s that?”

Me: “Sprint? The phone company??”

OW: “I’ll be darned what an interesting concept.”

Me: “Let me hand the phone to someone who can explain our location better….”

So I hand the phone to another host. And she’s talking to this lady for a couple minutes and then shoves the phone back to me.

Host: “Take the phone back I can’t handle this anymore”

So I take it back. And the lady is still talking.  Now it’s important to note I work at a seafood restaurant.

OW: “So how big are your lobster tails?”

Me: “The smallest ones are half a pound and the largest are two pounds.”

OW: “Only two pounds?! They used to be five!”

Now I know this isn’t true because that would be a giant lobster.

Me: “They’ve always been two. But they are pretty big.”

OW: “If you say so…. Now, I won’t get any legs in my meal will I?”

Me: “No ma’am, just the tail.”

OW: “Good, I don’t want to be eating any legs. You make sure they are dead before you serve them right?”

Me: “.......Yes ma’am.”

OW: “Just making sure. How much is the lobster meal?”

Me: “The two pound one is $31.”

OW: “starts losing her shit over the price”

Me: “I’m sorry it’s so expensive but I don’t make the prices.”

OW: “I understand that. Is the restaurant nice?”

Me “Yes…. it’s nice and big. The biggest one in the state.”

OW: “Oh good. I used to go to the one off of *street name* but they got rid of it. This is a much nicer area.”

Me: “Yes ma’am it is. Do you have any other questions for me about the menu or anything?”

OW: “Nope that’s it. See you Tuesday!” *hangs up*

……..You called on a Sunday night at 5pm when you aren’t even coming in till TUESDAY.