the most ridiculous phone call ever
long post ahead be forewarned
Let me tell you about this goddamn woman I talked to on the phone the other day at work.
So the phone rings and I pick up the phone and here is how the conversation goes:
Me: “Thank you for calling *restaurant* in *location* this is *my name*, how can I help you?”
Very old woman: “Where are you?”
Now this happens at every restaurant I’ve worked at so I tell her the address.
Old woman: “No I know the address but where are you located? I can’t find you.”
So I start listing off stores nearby.
Me: “Do you know where *grocery store* is?”
Me: “Okay… Do you know where *another store* is?”
Me: “Well when you are driving down *street name* there is a Sprint store right next to us.”
Me: “Sprint? The phone company??”
OW: “I’ll be darned what an interesting concept.”
Me: “Let me hand the phone to someone who can explain our location better….”
So I hand the phone to another host. And she’s talking to this lady for a couple minutes and then shoves the phone back to me.
Host: “Take the phone back I can’t handle this anymore”
So I take it back. And the lady is still talking. Now it’s important to note I work at a seafood restaurant.
OW: “So how big are your lobster tails?”
Me: “The smallest ones are half a pound and the largest are two pounds.”
OW: “Only two pounds?! They used to be five!”
Now I know this isn’t true because that would be a giant lobster.
Me: “They’ve always been two. But they are pretty big.”
OW: “If you say so…. Now, I won’t get any legs in my meal will I?”
Me: “No ma’am, just the tail.”
OW: “Good, I don’t want to be eating any legs. You make sure they are dead before you serve them right?”
OW: “Just making sure. How much is the lobster meal?”
Me: “The two pound one is $31.”
OW: “starts losing her shit over the price”
Me: “I’m sorry it’s so expensive but I don’t make the prices.”
OW: “I understand that. Is the restaurant nice?”
Me “Yes…. it’s nice and big. The biggest one in the state.”
OW: “Oh good. I used to go to the one off of *street name* but they got rid of it. This is a much nicer area.”
Me: “Yes ma’am it is. Do you have any other questions for me about the menu or anything?”
OW: “Nope that’s it. See you Tuesday!” *hangs up*
……..You called on a Sunday night at 5pm when you aren’t even coming in till TUESDAY.
So that’s how my night went...