Date did not go well it was hella awkward and she was suuuuper quiet and a little older than she said she was by a few years.. annoying but, I had already ordered since she got there late… but anyway I get over the age thing and she is like very silent and awkward and so I start trying to ask questions like what’s you coming out story? Etc. Just some questions that I knew usually will get a story out of the person and I’d get to know them a little. She changed the subject to the menu “do you know if they have vodka here?” … it was 11 am and she’s asking about vodka 🤯😳😓 but then the waitress came and she made a comment about how nice it is that I was taking my mom out for brunch… I just smiled and shook my head no and this date of mine was like damn near biting the poor waitress’s face off started getting loud saying the girl was blind or homophobic! Then once the waitress left after apologizing and nearly crying I tried asking some other date stuff like are you an only child? She replied just “no.” And starts playing on her phone. So I start asking, what do you like to do when you’re not at work. She looked up from her phone and gestured to me and the table. As if to signal dating and going out is what she likes. So finally the food gets to the table and at this point I’m thinking ok maybe it’s nerves she’s gonna loosen up now that the foods here. We start eating, she got some omelette thing and I got blackberry pancakes. So I ask her how her food is and she just nods yes and gives me a thumbs up while looking at the food and taking a bite and scrolling on her phone. ON “HER” THE APP WE MET THROUGH! At that point I’m done and just trying to eat and get out so I stop asking stuff and start to eat the pancakes. BUT THEN some random friend of hers showed up lookin like the face of meth asking her for money! After that I excused myself to the restroom apologized and tipped the waitress and asked her to bring the check as soon as we finish eating and rush us out the door. She happily agrees and tells me she’s sorry this dates bad and I smile and continue on to the restroom. I’m on my way back to the table and the guy who came asking for money is sitting in my spot across from my date EATING OUT OF MY PLATE! Date sees me coming around and tells the guy to move further into the booth to basically sit next to me and that’s when I said fuck it. I grabbed my purse which I had left there (I took my wallet to tip the waitress) and she made a comment like “he didn’t touch any of your food or stuff”. I looked her in the eyes told her the date was now over for me and I tossed a $20 on the table and left. It was sooooo bad you guys!!!

See the difference?

So here we go, I have decided to put these stories on the internet for everyone to enjoy, this first one has a warning attached: this story has some shit in it... you have been warned. I met this hunk on OkCupid (yes, a bad sign) and we hit it off through the chat, I was new in Belfast so I was eager to learn the rules of dating as we Norwegians don't date, we just happen. We decided to meet at a café called Nero close to the city centre. We met and he was even more beautiful in real life. A chiselled jaw, beautiful deep blue eyes, dirty blonde hair, and a body to die for. I digress, we decided to sit in and have coffee, and at the time I didn't drink coffee. We sat down and the waitress came over and asked for our order, once we've done that he started to whisper in a husky voice that he wanted to tell me something. I was thinking this was sexy but then he dropped the bomb: I like to shit my pants in public and I ain't wearing any underwear! He whispered. Then he whispered that he wanted to do it right there and that I should join him as it was a nice warm feeling. Shocked I excused myself and went over to the coffee bar area and found the waitress. I then said I wanted my hot chocolate to go and she complied. When she handed it to me, I pointed to the handsome man and said: you better bring a mop and some matches, he is busy pooping his pants over there. Then I went back to mr poopy pants and told him I had to go, and I left. That was the last time I went on a date from OkCupid, although I have more horror stories from that, which I will share at a later date

Me, without missing a beat and looking him dead in the eye: no it wouldn't because I would be far more effective at my job.

FUCK RIGHT

ok diary, i’m gonna go jump off a bridge bye

-He was late -He didn’t bathe -Just threw on whatever was in his fucking closet or on the floor -Didn’t really talk about anything -On his phone most of the time -Got into an argument with an old lady about politics -Didn’t even say goodbye🖕🏾🖕🏾 The most thrilling hour and a half of my life🙄🙄this is what happens when I try to date people. I’m just not a dating person