So uhh *throws you coco*
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tannertan36
occasionally subtle
I'd rather be in outer space πΈ
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blake kathryn
Game of Thrones Daily
Not today Justin

Origami Around
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Product Placement

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Three Goblin Art

#extradirty
Mike Driver
Claire Keane
One Nice Bug Per Day
ojovivo

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@kerizaret
So uhh *throws you coco*

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[id. A twitter post by @/Bennieeexyz Jury duty letter came addressed to my cat. Not a mistake. "Felix Martinez" - that's his full name according to his vet records. My last name. His first name. Somehow he's a registered voter now. Called the county clerk. Me: My cat got summoned for jury duty. Clerk: Is the name correct on the summons? Me: Yes, but he's a cat. Clerk: Is Felix Martinez a legal resident of this county? Me: He's a legal cat. Clerk: Sir, if the name matches our records, he needs to appear or file an exemption. Me: He can't file anything. He has paws. Clerk: You can file on his behalf. Me: Under what exemption? There's no box for "is a cat." Clerk: (pause) Check "unable to serve due to medical reasons." Me: What's the medical reason? Clerk: He's a cat. Me: That's not a medical condition. Clerk: It is if it prevents him from serving. Sent in the form. Got rejected two weeks later. "Insufficient documentation. Please provide medical professional's statement." Took the letter to my vet. Me: I need you to write that my cat can't do jury duty. Vet: Why is your cat summoned for jury duty? Me: Excellent question. No good answer. Vet: This is the weirdest request I've gotten. Me: Can you just write that he's medically unfit to serve? Vet: On what grounds? Me: He's a cat. Vet: (started typing) "Patient is unable to serve due to species-related limitations including inability to speak, read, or comprehend legal proceedings." Me: Perfect. Sent it in. Got another rejection. "Summons is mandatory. Failure to appear will result in contempt of court." My roommate thought this was hilarious. Roommate: Felix is going to jail. Me: This is serious. Roommate: Bring him to court. See what happens. Decided that was actually the only option left. Day of jury duty, put Felix in his carrier. Brought the entire paper trail of rejection letters. Checked in at the courthouse. Clerk: Name? Me: Felix Martinez. Clerk: (looked at the cat carrier) Is that Felix? Me: Yes. Clerk: (long stare) He's a cat. Me: I've been saying that for six weeks. Clerk: Why didn't you file an exemption? Me: I filed three. All rejected. Showed her the letters. She read through them, expression shifting from confusion to disbelief. Clerk: Someone rejected the veterinary documentation? Me: Twice. Clerk: (called her supervisor over) You need to see this. Supervisor read everything. Looked at Felix. Looked at me. Supervisor: How did a cat get registered to vote? Me: You tell me. Supervisor: This is a data error. Me: Took you six weeks to figure that out. They dismissed Felix immediately. Apologized for the inconvenience. Supervisor: We'll remove him from the voter registry. Me: Appreciate it. Supervisor: (pause) Out of curiosity, how would he have voted? Me: Probably whatever party supports universal treats. Got a formal apology letter a week later and a voter registration card. For me this time. Apparently I wasn't registered, but my cat was. Roommate: Felix committed voter fraud. Me: Felix committed nothing. He's innocent. Roommate: That's what they all say. Felix is sleeping on the jury summons now. Fitting end to his legal career. end id]
"i hate to say it, but you were right"
2:47pm: thinking about what i can do to make the world a better place π
3:11pm: i have to kill myself
3:15pm: i didnβt mean that iβm sorry for saying that
3:20pm: i have to kill myself
3:56pm: i am so grateful to feel anything at all
2:47pm: thinking about what i can do to make the world a better place π
3:11pm: i have to kill myself
3:15pm: i didnβt mean that iβm sorry for saying that
3:20pm: i have to kill myself
3:56pm: i am so grateful to feel anything at all

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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favorite thing in the whole wide world when a story is about how a typically βnegativeβ trait is the one essential to saving the day. a character whose anger pushes them further than any of their kinder aspects. someone so stubborn that they cross a finish line no one else could reach. greed that becomes justification to protect people. ruthlessness that gets the job done right. the coward who becomes a hero because they were the only one with the sense not to face something deadly head on. selfishness that keeps you alive.
I love when our βworstβ impulses are shown to be as important to who we are and how we handle things as the best parts of us. sometimes you donβt conquer what everyone says is wrong with you; sometimes you learn how to make use of what comes naturally instead of fighting against it.
"Don't eat all of that sugary food..."
"...You'll gain weight" π«
Wrong
Body negative
You need way more calories than a slice of cake to gain even one pound
"...You'll get sick" β
Correct
Sugar is good but if you eat too much you get stummy ache :(
Better when eaten in moderation anyway
Prioritizes listening to your body
"...Without me" π
Secret third option?
Encourages community
Get sick with someone you love
World's best bonding activity
witch hat kitchen be like
"will you be a slave like this for the rest of your life, tied up by the skin of your tail?"

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch β’ No registration required β’ HD streaming
"will you be a slave like this for the rest of your life, tied up by the skin of your tail?"
2:47pm: thinking about what i can do to make the world a better place π
3:11pm: i have to kill myself
3:15pm: i didnβt mean that iβm sorry for saying that
3:20pm: i have to kill myself
3:56pm: i am so grateful to feel anything at all
this is going to sound like such a little sibling ass take but i genuinely believe that being a little bit annoying is actually a greater sign of maturity and self awareness than being universally likeable and on good terms with everyone
if some people find me annoying and can't stand me because of how i think and act then that means i'm a fully realized human being with my own personality and opinions and free will and not just a reflective surface for other people's desires, which is in fact a good thing despite what people who want you to just be a reflection of their own opinions and desires will tell you, and why being considered "cringe" or whatever doesn't bother me at all
also it's really funny when you're confident enough in yourself to know that people not liking you isn't always a sign that you're the problem. like there's something undeniably hilarious about being aware your mere existence has the power to piss someone off and ruin their day and i recommend embracing it.
Oh fucking thissss
i'm totally ready to take your hand wherever you want to go!
ploverlands x shoreline

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch β’ No registration required β’ HD streaming
Since Rocky and Grace have access to a ton of video games on the Hail Mary, I figured eventually they'd play Just Dance during their trip to Erid
i was watching this scene and in my head drafting fanfics in real time