#hornones

I’m not exactly over the moon that I’m pregnant. Life is really, really hard at the moment, with money issues, housing issues, family issues... the list is never ending, although I have always said and always will say that there is never a right time to have a child.

I was hoping for a bigger age gap between my next one and my youngest. My youngest baby is currently only 14 months old. I feel guilty that I won’t have much attention to give him for much longer. He’ll be 3/4 months from his 2nd birthday when the newest addition arrives; that just seems so young to me. My god children have that age gap and it looks so freakin’ hard, especially having a 5 year old aswell who needs my attention for all sorts of other reasons.

I had my first doctor's appointment on Tuesday.  I was pretty psyched about it, because honestly -- I've done all I can on my own, and it's time to start hormones and get a plan going for surgery.  

I went through Vancouver Coastal Health's TransHealth Specialty Care services; I called the info line and left a message, and a couple days later I received a callback offering me an appointment date and time.  Due to the waitlist and scarcity of the services (the doctors aren't fulltime and are only available a couple days a month), the appointment was a month out.  It's amazing how long a month feels, but the day finally came!

I headed up to Ravensong clinic, conveniently only a 10 minute walk away.  My girlfriend accompanied me -- mostly to support me, but she's involved in this transition as well, so it's important to both of us that she be fully informed.  As always, I arrived early (better early and wait than lose out cuz you're late!) and took a seat in the waiting room.

About 10 minutes after I arrived, two other transmen had also come into the clinic and taken a seat; it must've been transman day!  They were both younger than I, but it looked like none of us had yet started hormones.  I was called in first.

The doctor was a lovely lady, about my age, very non-judgmental and down-to-business -- just what I like.  I explained my reasoning for seeking treatment, my goals, and a rough tentative roadmap as I see it.  She took my history and asked about my social transition, basically getting a feel for where my mind's at in the whole process.

After a pleasant half hour, I walked out of the office with some paperwork requesting labwork, a few pages of legalese and medical info to read and sign, offering my informed consent to start testosterone, a date for the next appointment where I get my prescription, my girlfriend on my arm, and a big ol' smile on my face.