Me, sobbing: thank...you...thank you so much

Me, still sobbing: can we...perhaps...start making higher quality clothing and accessories?

Y’all!!! I got appropriate medical attention today!!!

So I got the results of my X-rays back yesterday, and they said everything was fine and I should start physical therapy. This confused me, because previously the doc had said not to move or do any PT until the pain stopped. I brought this up to the X-ray tech on the call, and he told me then I should wait until the pain stopped before I started anything (he didn’t sound too sold, tbh).

Since I had been in pain for two fucking weeks with no end in sight, this was about the worst answer ever.

I got off the call, had a small freak out, then called the doc back and left a message saying that lining up a treatment to prevent things from happening again was all well and good, but I wanted treated for the pain I was ALREADY having. The nurse I spoke to said she would get the message to the doc right away, but this was 4pm on a Friday, so I might not hear back until Monday.

I went home and wallowed in misery.

This morning I dragged myself out of bed determined to go somewhere and make myself heard and fight for them to address things. This mission was helped overwhelmingly by my therapist, who deserves a damn medal.

I rolled out of the house this morning with unwashed hair and no makeup, the dark circles under my eyes stark against the pale grey light coming from the sky. Two weeks of constant pain and sleep cycles no longer than two hours at a time had left me feeling - and looking - like a ghoul.

Still, I made my way to therapy, and she takes one look at me and goes, “well you look...tired.”

I laughed, bitterly, then proceeded to break down and explain everything that had gone on this last week and the endless pain with my neck. We had talked about it last week, but that was when I had still been optimistic. I had still assumed the end of the pain was just around the corner.

In the end she helped me make a list of things to say and ask the doctors, which helped immensely when I arrived at the urgent care clinic at the new place.

This time they heard me. This time they listened, and were not only able to explain what was wrong, but how it will get better. As it turns out, the issue with my neck was a perfect storm of circumstances leading to a misalignment of my muscles. My previous sprains and injuries never quite healed right, and left the muscles weak. My weightlifting and change in body weight strengthened some of my muscles but not all, making the weaker ones sitting targets.

All it took was sitting or laying at just the right angle for just the amount of time, and the whole house of cards came down.

The doctor who explained this to me was basically a wizard. He not only knew, before I told him, that I had been doing something like weightlifting to recover from my fall, but he knew exactly where my pain was and just where else it would be making me tense. It was MAGICAL having him explain all of this and how it would get better with PT.

They gave me a more targeted muscle relaxant to take with the nerve suppressant, and THIS combination works quite well. I took it earlier and was finally able to get some sleep. Still only about three hours, as it was the middle of the afternoon, but it was the best sleep I’ve had in two weeks.

More than that, though, they explained that all the inactivity had been making things worse. The last doc prescribing buckets of medication and telling me not to move was precisely the wrong thing to do. What I need is minimal medication and physical therapy.

I’ve started some of the PT stretches at home and they’re already helping a lot. My pain went from sever to moderate, then down to mild for the most part. I’m not cured yet, but I have an appointment with a physical therapist on Tuesday and they should be able to help even further.

In the mean time, I have things back in control, and should be able to ease back into my normal routines. No weightlifting or hiking yet, of course, but cleaning up the depression disaster in my room and getting back to work at the office and back to writing at home, those things I can do.

I finally got the light at the end of the tunnel, and I’m so very happy about it.