#hootposting

Luz:

Camila:

Amity:

Gus:

Hunter:

Willow: Luz, why is there a basilisk in your kitchen?

Vee: Uhm, I live here? I have a name y’know.

Camila: Dios mío, no estaba listo por esto

Bonus!

Hunter: Luz, why do those random-ass statues over there look like me and Belos?

Raine before: By the titan, she’s a handful but I still miss her. Now then, back to our regularly scheduled mayhem with…The BATTs!

Raine now: Oh my titan I wanna marry her. Yes Amber, I know the apocalypse is still ongoing, but hey gotta make the most of it. I hope she wasn’t too attached to that hand, though.

Lilith before: the boring narc aunt (needs a day off)

Lilith now: the cool nerd aunt (needs a hug)

Principal Bump before: Yeah I’m an educator, but I’m not a jerk. Now get in the detention pit.

Principal Bump now: Yeah I’m an educator, but I’m not a spineless stooge for the government. Now let’s talk about how to topple a monarchy.

Darius before: I am a perfect 10, absolute top of my game, and nothing is holding me back.

Darius now: So, how does one go about adopting a grown child? Yes he’s a handful, but watching him grow makes me oddly proud in a fulfilling way.

Eberwolf before: *feral snarling*

Eberwolf now: *friendlier feral snarling*

Alador before: science science science science sigh yes honey science science science oh a butterfly!

Alador now: The DILF is now pissed. I’m taking custody of the kids. This is nonnegotiable.

Camilla before: I love my daughter, but I’m worried about her “fandom” obsessions. Maybe sending her to camp was a bad idea, but she needs real friends too…

Camilla now: These children are lost and need a home. They’re family as far as I care, and I will keep them safe no matter what. And if anyone messes with my family, they get la chancla.

Tiny Nose before: Hewwo! Cawe to hear my theowy about how we exist foe the entertainment of higher beings?

Luz before: Adventure and excitement! The coolest fantasy world ready to be explored! I’ll do it all, and I’ll be number one! This mama is ready for some trauma!

Luz now: (Swinging a baseball bat at Belos with a manic Kōhei Horikoshi-style slasher grin on her face) whats life without a little risk? After all, god must be killed, and I’m dying to storm the heavens

Amity before: (internally singing Little Miss Perfect sadly at home)

Amity now: (cry singing I Kissed A Girl out loud at Dennys)

Gus before: I’m a precocious young prodigy with a fascination with the mundane and no visible emotional baggage

Gus now: Ok so I’m stranded in the place I always wanted to go but I have seen grave crimes against humanity my home is being destroyed by an insane godlike being and I really need a hug, but hey I’m taller now—

Hunter before: I am the champion of the Emperor! The greatest and most capable of his servants! Glory to the Emperor and the Titan!

Hunter now: *screaming and crying* I-I am a monster—!

Willow before: I’m just a simple girl trying to make her way in the world and keep her friends safe~~!

Willow now: I WILL BREAK YOUR SPINE IN HALF IF YOU MAKE HIM CRY AGAIN! I SWEAR TO COLLECTOR I WILL END YOU PERSONALLY

King before: lol I’m just a little gremlin but once I regain my power, ALL WILL KNEEL BEFORE THE KING OF DEMONS—!

King now: get me outta this birdcage please! I beg of you! Help!

Eda before: kids suck, live fast die young young and leave behind a pretty corpse, invest in gold, foxy mama of bad girl coven coming through!

Eda now: i survive this I’m never letting go of my loved ones cuz they’re the real treasure I was after all along, bad girl reputation be damned

Steve before: *cool dude*

Catra: So you almost got your future girlfriend dissected?

Amity: In hindsight, it was pretty dumb.

Catra: In hindsight?? What were you thinking?

Amity: I was under a lot of stress back then and I was waaay too invested in being little miss perfect with being top student and all. I had a lot of expectations to live up to, a lot of pent-up feelings of guilt and anxiety, and I was forced to stop being myself by my overbearing mother.

Catra: That’s rough, buddy. I know what that’s like. Most of that, anyway.

Amity: Yeah, then I met Luz for real, and things…started making sense.

Catra: Now we’re talking.

Amity: So how about you? Any hiccups with you and Adora?

Catra:

Catra: [flashbacks to all the times she fought Adora, lied to and backstabbed her allies, sold out her planet to an alien warlord, almost crashed all of reality rather than let Adora win]

Catra: awww man

Amity: what was that?

Catra: I said I almost bit off her hand

Amity: wait what?

Collector: alright Belos here’s what you need for your fake magic staff since you can’t do anything with a Palisman without thinking of lunch. Listen carefully cuz we’ll need this stuff to play later

Belos, with notepad: I’m listening.

Collector: you’ll need parsley and ivy, something knifey, broken galderstone, ivory chrome, handful of basilisk scales, two of—

Belos: Wait, why do they rhyme?

Collector: huh?

Belos: These ingredients. They rhyme.

Collector: it’s a learning trick, to help you remember! Plus it’s all kind of fun

Belos: ….go on.

Collector: handful of basilisk scales, two of thunder hail, copper wire and palistrom spiral, lots of Titan nog, and last but not least, updog

Belos: What was that last one?

Collector: last what?

Belos: The last component to make this artificial magic staff. I never heard of it. What is…updog?