#holyencounters

Holy Encounters

Lying awake at weird hours of the night seems to be my reality the last 2 months. This time however allows time for me to think, process, pray and work through whatever is currently keeping my mind awake in the first place.

Last night was no different and found me awake around 5:00am for almost two hours. Pondering on variety of recent events, some as recent as the last couple of months, some as “recent” as the last couple years, I began seeing God’s beautifully woven design. Even though at the time it seemed more like a tangled mess.

I was thinking that if I had met my husband of seven months, seven years ago when he started his job just down the road from where I worked, how life would have been so different. I am not doubting it would have been good. It would have been. Great even.

But I also realized that if God had granted that gift coming seven years ago, how much I would have missed. In doing some quick math I am pretty sure that at least 20 relationships I currently have with certain people would NOT be anywhere special in their closeness as they are now.

When you are single you tend to form close relationships with a variety of people to fill a variety of needs, but also to fill the gaps in your loneliness. My life is so much richer because I had the time to pursue these relationships which now have a better potential of surviving once married.

But I also realized that certain things I met in life or on the job I would have not encountered, good and bad, thus pushing me to grow in faith. For example, my husband and I both would have been seven years younger and would have probably started a family fairly quickly, thus meaning I would have probably quit my daytime job to be a stay at home mom.

Now I realize that being a parent can grow you in enormous ways and not being one I haven’t encountered those growth opportunities. But I also believe that in His wisdom, God needed me to grow in other ways that could ONLY have come from my job, my relationships, my singleness, my good times and my bad.

And while I am never one to say, “Whoo-hoo! Bad times ahead! Rock on!” I am also not one to dismiss the great refinement or teaching moments they hold. We can, none of us, ever be refined enough.

This then means that by 6:00 this morning I had concluded that even though I would loved to have been married earlier, I’m thrilled I am not the one in control of my story. The way our story was woven together, the way my story was woven before I met my husband, the way his story was woven, it had to be done the way it was to encounter God in the ways we do now.