#hinamatsu

Her back was aching and no amount of stretching seemed to bealleviating it. Hinata stifled a frustrated sigh as she leaned back in herchair, away from the screen and spread of recent probe data on it.

It was late in the ‘day’, but the lab was still bright – herown request, against Dr Haruno’s advisements – which left her in that bizarrestate halfway between exhaustion and over-stimulation. At least it was quiet,just the constant background hum of electronics and machinery that she’d longsince grown used to there to distract her. Shino had made a short comment abouttrying to get some rest as he left her a few hours ago, but she’d gotten socaught up in her work that she’d almost completely forgotten about it.

Or rather, she’d carefully boxed away the nagging drone ofher friend’s, annoyingly sound, advice into the furthest corner of her mind asshe stared at lines of data and test results for hours on end.

She let her head drop back, clamping shaky hands tightlyover her eyes.

There was no rush, she had to keep reminding herself. Diligencewas far more important than haste; studying a planet’s geology, weather and potentialexisting life was vital before any attempts at contact were made – they couldn’trisk disturbing anything – if she was the one responsible for a massiveoversight due to the sloppiness brought on by fatigue, then she’d never be ableto forgive herself.

But… surely if she could just force her way through a fewmore data points…

The screech as her chair slid back cut right through to herbones, but she powered through the shudder, turning off her computer andrushing out the door before she could change her mind.

Hair swishing and bouncing in its ponytail as she jogged,Hinata hurried through the halls, not quite able to meet the eyes of hercrewmates as she passed by – they weren’t judging her for her failure, theywere just saying hello, she shouldn’t be so paranoid,why did they all have to stop and turn when she entered a room – as shefollowed her feet through to the one place she felt genuinely comfortable outhere in the vast unknown.

At this time, there was only one place she’d be.

When she got there, she paused outside the door, just aboutmanaging to hear something from inside. “-just a bit soon, you know? There’sstill so much we need to think about…”

Hinata groaned softly, leaning against the wall. Well, shecouldn’t go in now, not with someoneelse already there; she slowly slid down until she was huddled on the floor,arms wrapping around her legs tightly. Should she just go back to the lab? Shedidn’t want to wait outside like a creep, but she couldn’t bring herself tojust go to her quarters and try sleeping either.

She leaned her head back until she could stare at the ceiling.She heard a tiny ‘click’ followed by the swishing of a door sliding open.

“…Uh, hello?”

Softly muttering words that would probably give her cousin aheart attack if he ever heard them coming from her mouth, Hinata jolted to herfeet and gingerly poked her head around the doorframe.

“S-s-s-s…” Her mouth slammed shut, teeth gritting togetherharshly as she took a few seconds to breath. “I apologise, I didn’t mean to interruptyou.”

Wide brown eyes blinked at her a few times, before Matsurileapt to her feet and rushed over to greet her. “That’s ok! We were justtalking; did you need something? Is the IRMS acting up again, because I think Imight know what’s actually causing it now-”

“No, nothing like that,” she said, giggling just a little, “Ijust… wanted to see you, but you’re busy-”

Temari gave a heavy sigh as she pushed herself out of herseat. “No, it’s fine, we were just finishing up actually-”

“We were?”

Green eyes narrowed at the younger woman. “Yes, we were, I need to get goinganyway, Ino was very clear that date-night would not be missed out on again.” The woman smirked down at them both asshe passed, before throwing them each a goodbye and striding down the hall.

Hinata wasn’t sure she liked that gleam in her eye when theymade brief contact, but Matsuri was already pulling on her arm and dragging herto a seat, practically leaping into her own.

She took her time glancing around, trying to see what hadchanged since she was last here. It was shocking how quickly her friend’s room wouldbe revamped, furniture shuffled around, half-complete projects suddenly appearing,progressing and then disappearing with every visit, quickly replaced with new mysteriousbits of machinery and wire.

The only constants were the things she’d been given by thecrew; the tiny cacti that their resident botanist Gaara had grown for her, easyfor someone as easily distracted as Matsuri to take care of; the sketch Sai hadclaimed was inspired by her, Hinata couldn’t see it, but she was never one forabstract art anyway; a post-it note permanently stuck on her mirror remindingher to take her medication, courtesy of Dr Haruno; a plethora of posters andfigurines from her favourite cartoons, the only thing she’d brought with herfrom Earth.

And, pride of place in the mess of sheets and pillows on hertiny bunk, was the hand-knitted mouse that Hinata had made for her birthday.

She still smiled every time she saw it there, even if one ofthe eyes had already fallen off and some of the stitches were beginning tofray. It was well-loved and Matsuri had told her that she always used it to calmherself down from anxiety attacks, that was more important to her than it beingkept pristine and untouched.

“So, how’re things? What did you want to talk about?”

Hinata pulled her gaze away from the tiny room and insteadto her friend. “I-I… don’t know, I just need to… not think about test resultsfor a while.” She leaned over and carefully poked at the half-deconstructed… Thinglying on the desk. “What’s this you’re working on?”

Blinking a few times, Matsuri launched into a jargon-filledexplanation that she couldn’t even begin to follow – something about an energy inefficientkettle? Or perhaps it was turning a kettle into a space heater for Gaara’sgreenhouse? – but her voice was soft and perky and the excitement in her toneas her hands dipped and waved as she spoke always, paradoxically, calmed herdown.

The world could be so harsh and frustrating and she alwaysfelt like every second not working, not being absolutely perfect was inevitably going to lead to all her friends and lovedones abandoning her.

But… if this sweet, fun,genuine woman could find even a kettle filled with exciting opportunitiesto explore – even if it meant breaking it apart, even if things went wrong andthe project eventually had to be scrapped – and who could find a place for eventhe most useless and worn out bits of machinery…

Then maybe she’dbe able to find a use for her own broken, worthless pieces.

Until then, Matsuri’s bright smile would always be enough tobring a smile to her own lips and lull her into the most tranquil state ofrest.

---

The first thing she saw when she woke up, was a terrible blurred haze of pink and green and blinding white. Matsuri had to immediately close her eyes against it, wishing she had the strength to bring a hand up to cover them, but every part of her body felt like it was being held down by grasping leaden arms.

“He- ou- hear me? Try to stay calm, just take deep breaths, in, out, there you go, keep going.” The voice was a soft breeze to her ears, barely audible through the heavy fog that was choking all of her senses. “Good, now do you think you can try opening your eyes again for me? Take as much time as you need.” She absolutely did not want to do that, but something in the back of her mind forced her to comply, squinting against the light, though the longer she kept her watering eyes open, the less blinding it became, she could even start to pick out the hints of a face through her fuzzy vision.

Matsuri couldn’t quite think properly, her mind was still drowned in the thick honey of sleep, not altogether unpleasant, but frustrating in its reluctance to slip away.

But, even as slow and confused as she was, one thing rang clear in her mind.

With a breath that made her sluggish chest ache and a hard blink to remove the murky film from her eyes, Matsuri stared up at Dr Haruno, looking down on her with her gentle smile. “We made it?” she asked, her for so long unused voice croaking and horse and barely even decipherable as language.

Sakura nodded, her eyes sparkling with excitement. “We did.”

---

Cryo recovery and the obligatory check-up had taken far to long for her liking, she’d been literally bouncing around on the examination table and had peppered the poor nurse with a million questions he wasn’t even remotely qualified to answer, he’d humoured her with only light teasing at least.

Once released, she’d immediately started exploring the ship, trying to drag out memories that were a few decades old at this point – even if it had felt like just a few hours to her – it was strange to see it so empty and silent though, she was only among the second wave to be revived, so there simply weren’t enough people awake to fill the rooms, nothing like the bustle and anticipation and nervous chattering of dozens of people, when they’d been taken on the group tours.

It was honestly a bit creepy, but kind of peaceful, in its own way.

For at least an hour or two, she wandered, not quite sure what to do with herself before orientation; she could try and track down some food, but the lurch her stomach made at just the thought of it put her off that idea pretty quickly; sleeping, while quite appealing when she still felt the heaviness to her limbs that made her just want to collapse onto something soft and conk out, was basically what she’d been doing for the entire trip and she wasn’t the type to be content with idleness; she’d have gone to the gym to run off some of her fatigue and get her stiff body back into shape, but the doctors had been very clear about not over-exerting oneself so soon, and she really didn’t want to be shouted at for disobeying them.

So, wandering it was, trying to track down something else to keep her occupied. When she stepped into the observation deck, she found it.

Out of the huge two-floor window, was a view that caught her breath in her throat. She half wanted to cry it was so beautiful. Only a fraction of the planet could be seen from here, the southern pole, but she’d never seen anything like it – not in person anyways – set against an endless ocean of purest black, even the pin pricks of distant stars nearly swallowed up by it, the surface of the planet itself was difficult to parse through the thick smattering of clouds, but thin slivers of cracked white and blue – such a thrilling implication all on its own – could be seen where grey tendrils gracefully faded away.

More than that though, she was struck by the ethereal blue lights, dancing what looked from here like only a few inches off the planet’s surface, but she knew had to be a few milometers at least.

An aurora! She’d seen the ones on Earth before and they’d taken her breath away then too, seeing something so awe-inspiring and huge painting the sky above for miles around was a sight she’d never forget, nor would she forget the feelings it had inspired in her – exhilaration, inspiration, smallness and just a touch of insignificance – but seeing one from here was a completely different experience, still one of wonder, but instead of feeling tiny and powerless, she felt an unfamiliar weight of importance, being among the first humans to see this sight.

From here, it looked… small, close, like if she could just reach through the window she’d be able to dip her hands in that light, she wondered what it might feel like; she liked the thought that it might be like cool, clear water, the colours shifting and trailing after her fingers as she ran her hands through it.

It wasn’t until the gentle cough next to her, that she realised she wasn’t alone.

Her head snapped around, stiff neck complaining loudly, but she was too occupied to worry about it, trying to push a flurry of apologies out her mouth, so fast that the syllables jumbled beyond comprehension.

The other woman’s smile calmed her though. “It’s… beautiful, isn’t it?” she said, her voice low and soft and just as awed as she herself felt.

Matsuri nodded shakily, glancing back out to the unknown planet.

“Um…” she turned to the woman again, not quite sure what she could say, she’d never been much good with words.

But, before she could blurt out the first thing she thought of, a kind touch against her cheek chased any semblance of thought from her mind.

When had she started crying?

The woman with the curtain of inky blue-black hair – not quite as dark as the blackness outside, but perhaps even more beautiful with the many subtle shades hidden within it – carefully wiped the tear-tracks from Matsuri’s cheeks, giving her an understanding look. “Don’t worry, I cried when I first saw it too,” she said, letting her hand drop back to her side, before gazing back out. “I feel like I’ve stared at it for hours already, I just can’t get over how small everything looks, it’s… exhilarating and terrifying, all at the same time.”

She could only agree there. “Yeah, I wonder if we’ll be able to land there? I’d love to see how the aurora looks from the surface!”

“Maybe; it would certainly be an unforgettable experience.” She was still smiling, but it looked strained and her eyes were sad.

“Are you ok?” Matsuri asked, hoping that her usual inability to interact with any degree of subtlety wouldn’t offend the beautiful woman, but if she really was upset and she didn’t try to help, then she’d certainly feel worse.

Ghostly pale eyes widened as she snapped to face her, but her shock only lasted a few moments. “I-I’m fine, just…” she trailed off into a laugh, it didn’t sound very happy. “Just, scared, I guess, this journey was such a huge decision and now that I’m really here I’m- I don’t know if it was the right one, I’ve left behind so m-much to be here and I can’t back out n-now, but I-I-I-” Her fists clenched as she stumbled around the words, breathing getting erratic.

She had no idea what she should do, was there a protocol for this kind of situation she wasn’t aware of? But the woman looked ready to burst into tears and her hands were already reaching up to pull her into a hug before she could stop herself.

Shoulders tensed slightly at first, but within seconds they dropped and the taller woman was leaning onto her heavily, tight sniffs muffled against her neck.

Matsuri awkwardly patted her head – marvelling for a moment at how soft and silky that lovely hair felt against her skin – humming a tune from an old cartoon she used to love as a child, one that had always calmed her down when she was having a moment.

“It’s ok to be scared,” she said, with as much assurance as she could muster, “we all are I think, at least a bit, but we can’t think of the past and all the what-ifs, not when there’s a whole new world out here to discover, I mean, you must’ve come for a reason, right? So just keep thinking of it! All the amazing things we’re gonna see here, all the breakthroughs we’re gonna make! One day what we find out here might help everyone back home, even if we aren’t there to see it, isn’t that worth it?”

She’d at some point let go of the stranger to gesticulate wildly, but she’d stayed close even so, her eyes wide as she listened.

Matsuri suddenly felt a little embarrassed about being so eager; she knew how annoying she was.

“Ah, sorry, I get way too excited about this stuff…” she mumbled out, quickly clamping her arms back to her sides.

With a gentle laugh and a last sniff, the woman wiped a sleeve across her face. “No, I-I don’t m-m-mind, you helped, you really did,” she said, and now that she’d seen a real smile from her, Matsuri couldn’t help but think the aurora paled in comparison. “You’re so passionate… and you’re right, I did come here for a reason.”

She grinned, hands flapping excitedly. “I’m glad I helped! Usually everyone gets so annoyed when I babble on like that, but I just wanna see everything the universe has to offer so bad and I want to experience all the things I couldn’t get back on Earth.” she giggled uncertainly.

“M-me too, it’s so reassuring to find someone who feels that way, um… I’m so sorry, you just helped me with a breakdown and I don’t even know your name,” the dark-haired woman said, a pale hand rising to cover her slightly pink cheeks.

She blinked twice. “Oh! Sorry, I completely forgot, I’m Matsuri, an engineer! What’s your name?”

“Dr Hyuuga, but I’d prefer if you called me Hinata, I’m the team’s lead biologist,” she said, holding out a hand patiently.

Matsuri wondered if the shock that went up her arm as they shook hands was felt by Hinata too.