#hhtyd

Perhaps he should just stay, find another way out of the final exam tomorrow. There were some berries around here that made someone violently ill and he could just pretend that he'd eaten a bad piece of fish last night. Surely his father wouldn't make him fight in that condition.

But even that would only delay the inevitable.

“Toothless,” Hiccup calls out to his friend, heart not in his words. “We’re so leaving. We’re leaving. Let’s pack up. Looks like you and me are taking a little vacation, forever.”

He drops his basket and checks the straps on his riding harness, sighing as he does so. The closer he gets to leaving, the less he actually wants to go. He wants to find another solution, find another way to get out of the mess he’s in.

“Oh man.”

At this moment, Toothless bounds towards him and Hiccup remembers that he’s not leaving everything behind. Toothless had this strange ability to cheer him up when things seemed hopeless and lost. Maybe it was the hints of a toothless smile, maybe it the way he bounced towards him, so full of possibilities and the chance of an evening flight. He does seem to catch some of Hiccups melancholy though, stopping with the question loaded in his head tilt.

Then he buries his head into Hiccup’s chest, knocking him to the ground. Taking advantage of the window of opportunity he’s just created, Toothless continues to press his advantage and nuzzle into Hiccup, still asking that same question.

Why?

He’s not asking why he’s leaving, but why he’s sad about it. Toothless had seen himself in Hiccup the same way the Hiccup had seen himself in Toothless. He’d always known that Hiccup is different compared to the rest of Berk. Perhaps his leaving was inevitable. Besides, he’s not going alone, he’ll have his best friend by his side. Together, they could achieve anything.

“You’re right bud,” Hiccup says, wrapping his arms around Toothless’s neck and burying his face into the cool scales.

He’s still sad about leaving all this behind, but the future is starting to look a little brighter. He’s not alone, and while it would be hard in the beginning, they’d find a way. Together. Besides, once he’s away from Berk, maybe he could start finding out all the little truths about dragons that he never would have seen otherwise. Maybe this is who he was always supposed to be.

Vikings would always hate dragons; it's a fact of life. The same way the sun rises in the morning and eel leaves a nasty taste in your mouth. Vikings and dragons would never get along. They would never listen to the truth that they weren’t so different from each other. That they could get along, could teach each other so much more if they weren't constantly fighting. If they weren't bound by old traditions and the fearmongering of their ancestors, if they just took a chance then maybe they'd see. But no, vikings are a stubborn lot, and Hiccup knows that they'll never change.

Leaving might hurt, but maybe in the skies he’d finally be free from the chains he’d never realised he is wearing until now. His denial at how different he was from them holding him back and down for so long now. And taking the first step away from them and everything he'd knows was always going to be painful, along with the realisation that he’ll probably never see any of these people again. But maybe this step was inevitable. If not today, then sometime in the future. The first step would always be this hard, only he’d be plagued with regrets about all the things that he did in the meantime.

He needs to say goodbye and leave.

Only he would never really get to say goodbye. Not really. To the rest of Berk, Hiccup would just vanish in the forests the night before his big moment. What would his father think? He’ll wake up tomorrow and find that his son has disappeared. Just a neat bed and a space in his home. How long would he take to fill it? Would it even be filled, or would it be like his mother, gaps in the home and a presence that was never quite there?

The guilt from that realisation winds its way through Hiccups stomach and he gives Toothless another pat. It hurts to leave, but his father doesn’t deserve that. Doesn’t deserve to not know what happened to his only son. Besides, he’d probably authorise some sort of search party, which would mean that he’d have to fly further away to avoid getting found. But Hiccup couldn’t just fly by the Main Hall on his way out, not without getting shot at and maybe risking Berk to the wrath of the Chieftain Alliance. Not without risking Toothless, which he isn’t willing to do.

He's not going to tell Stoick to his face either, that would be an unmitigated disaster and Hiccup doesn’t want to be anywhere near him when he finds out. Having Gobber pass on the message would probably have a similar result. Which leaves him with the only option of writing a letter and leaving it for his father to find. It would delay his departure, but it would give him the chance to say goodbye.

Unfortunately, writing such a letter is harder than it seems, and many pages found themselves thrown in the water for Toothless to excitedly chase. He didn’t know if it should just be a simple goodbye or if he should tell his father about Toothless. And if he does tell him about Toothless, then how much does he want to reveal? Eventually, he decides on the whole truth. His father needs to know that they’re wrong about dragons, needs to know that whatever happens Hiccup will be alright. Needs to know that, one day, maybe, he might return.