#heythere005

Ash on their therapy

I have been following @ashhardell on Youtube for at least 3 years. It’s been so emotional to see them get their top surgery. I’m so happy for them and they give me so much hope for myself and my own transition. Congrats, Ash <3

Learning to be ugly

(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DlmMWmXQV2Y)

love story of Ashley and Grace. ashleymardell

TRIGGER WARNING So, I woke up this morning, one of my few mornings, in a "weird mindset" as Ashley calls it. I was scrolling through my news feed on Facebook to try and distract myself and my friend Stacie had shared this video and it was titled "Dear Fat People" with over 5.6 K views. Stacie had typed "rude..." So I figured "why not watch it?" Why not? Because after the first 3 minutes out of 6 unnecessary minutes of complete and utter cyber bullying, I was in tears. I got up, holding my breath so my mom wouldn't hear me choke out this gut wrenching sob as I looked in the mirror and saw what I always did, someone who was fat, ugly, and worthless. Now, it's only 7:58 in the morning and I'm ready to do way stupid things to my body which is in Nicole's eyes, worthless. And in mine as well so it truthfully didn't matter. But, I decided to do what I always do instead. I got on YouTube and typed in Ashley's channel. I go back and watch her videos when I'm upset, they make me laugh and sometimes can keep me from doing said stupid things. But the first thing I saw was "Dear Fat People Response". I kid you not, I just sobbed. I finally clicked on it and sat down to watch it. Holy. Shit. For one, thank you both for putting into words everything I was feeling. Seeing you both just let your emotions out and to know I wasn't alone made me feel so much better. Ashley was talking about this person who had called her a Tumblr Fag, and I immediately got angry again. To these people words are not triggering, but to someone who has spent nights in her room with a pain in her chest from crying so hard she can't breathe, writing failure into her skin, words can be so triggering. So, I proudly call myself a Tumblr Fag, because I'm careful with who I say what to, and what I post, always with a trigger warning, so thank you Ashley. Grace... I'm so sorry for whatever happened to you, whatever caused you to have these terrible memories, I know how bad it can hurt. Thank you for being raw with us and giving us that proof and assurance it's okay to cry and be emotional. Please, always remember that all of us who have been with Ashley since day one of her channel, are now with you, and when you say we have your support, you have ours too. Overall, I just want to say thank you to you both, for making my morning better, and not what it would have been. You both are amazing, and I love you guys. ashleymardell ghilt11

Episode 2.16: Will Bow Tie Pasta Waffle? feat. Ashley Mardell

inspired by this video