The "capping" problem with representation of HetGNC people
I'm not replying to the original post by @boigoddess because I don't have the energy to go into every detail of the conversation that happened, but I think that several points were brought up that are important, and I want to acknowledge them. So...
Butchest Woman Twitter Can Handle
A lot of masc viragos here (especially intramasc viragos) are probably very familiar with and incredibly frustrated by the concept of "butchest woman twitter can handle," which refers to the fact that masculinity in women (especially women attracted to men) is scarcely accepted by mainstream society (and even more subversive subcultures such as the RR community!) unless it is either tempered with or later "corrected" by femininity. Essentially, when most people say "masculine women," they're usually referring to very slight, often very socially-acceptable levels of masculinity, or something not far from that.
While the goal isn't to call these women "not masculine enough"-- because masculinity exists in various forms and degrees in different people-- there is still a problem in the way that other types and degrees of masculinity in women are ignored, erased, disbelieved, dismissed, and otherwise oppressed. So, ultimately, while there is no "lesser kind" of masculine woman, it's also important to acknowledge that there needs to be more acceptance/awareness/representation of masculinity that doesn't fit the common image of a masculine woman.
Masc Guy With a Flower Pin
There was a passing thread within the HetGNC community here awhile ago (wasn't able to track it down again) that brought up a similar complaint about men and femininity (especially men attracted to women), and how little acceptance/awareness/representation is granted to the many fem men who exist outside of the common feminine man archetypes. Usually, that they must always also be muscular, tall, chiseled and angular, etc. in order to avoid being "too feminine."
Similarly, the frustration is that when most people say "feminine men," they're usually referring to very slight, often socially-acceptable levels of femininity, or something not far from that.
While this problem is less prevalent in HetGNC and RR spaces, it hasn't been conquered entirely. A LOT of people in GNC spaces need to unpack their discomfort with those whose gender nonconformity looks different from their own (whether it's those who are perceived more OR less GNC). Actually, all of us do, myself included. We grew up in a gnc-phobic world... we're bound to have internalized at least some of it, and while we might all at different places in deconstructing and unlearning it, it's always going to be a continuous process.
It's important that we remember to uplift ALL varieties of gender nonconformity. Primarily, that requires that we remember there isn't a "cap," or a "limit" to how masculine a HetGNC woman can or should be, and that there isn't a limit to how feminine a HetGNC man can or should be. But, at the same time, we must also do this without gatekeeping who is "masculine/feminine ENOUGH", and not dismiss those who consider themselves less gender nonconforming as being less valid as a GNC person. Additionally, it's important to remember to uplift the gender nonconformity of those who consider themselves some degree of both masculine and feminine (or some other allinity) as well.
