#hellish writing

Nestled in her bed of warm furs and blankets, was the red haired beauty and lady of the castle.  It was to be expected the woman was sleeping, but in fact she was wide awake. A winter storm had  raged against the stone building and kept her awake most of the night. It didn't help her situation that she was alone after having just recently gotten used to sleeping beside someone. Sarafina wanted to nothing more then to roll onto her side and place her cheek to her husband's chest but it was impossible. Instead of warming her bed and perhaps the rest of her, he was off fighting in a war. It almost caused her physically ache for him, but those were sad thoughts she did her best to keep away.

A sound of annoyance escaped her as she rose form her bed, tossing the covers off only to regret her choice instantly. She hadn't yet full accepted that despite her room being the best in the castle, it wasn't always as warm as her bed. Her annoyance grew further as she attempted to pull on every layer of clothing she had. Heavy furred boots were the last addition to her outfit. She wore a simple dress, a bodice made loose simply because she put it on herself. The dress itself was made in the fancy of most northern clothing, heavy and warm. Lastly a pretty emerald colored cloak, lined with soft brown fur from summer rabbits, the only gift she didn't complain about, it was both pretty and functional.

She paused only for a moment to fix the braid she slept in, tucking away all stray hairs before departing. Hykross castle was alive with the bustle of life. Servants and guards travelled  about, tending to the castle after the storm. She hoped no one would notice her presence and she could slip by unnoticed, but being the Lady of the Castle prevented that.

"Your grace," A young woman said in passing, curtsying slightly. Sarafina offered her a small smile and bow of her head. She had come along ways since meeting and falling in love with her husband, the fact she was called 'your grace' was still new to her. Part of her wanted to ask them not to bother with it, but it was an old tradition that would take far longer to break then she'd be alive. Having exchanged formalities, Sarafina found her way down from her room and outside without too much trouble. She had stopped to ask the head servant about their stores, if the storm got worse. They exchanged brief words about what to be expected, Sarafina asked him to send out a few guards to check on the village just a short ten-minute ride from the castle. Despite having never governed over anything beyond her sheep, Sarafina had taken to the task of helping the villagers with great care.

Upon leaving the castle doors she quickly made her way to the stables. The apprentice stable hand greeted her with a small smile, she asked him to saddle up her mare so she could go for a short ride. The man showed some concern but had grown used to her request. It was almost twice daily that Sarafina took her ride and he learned long ago not to bother asking where she went. The young woman always said she went to the ridge, knowing full well that the castle was hidden within a mountain range. There were a variety of ridges that could be ridden to in less than an hour.

It took him only half of an hour to saddle her large, mountain bred mare. Sarafina didn't bother to wait inside the castle, but stayed near the stables until she brought out. Sarafina didn't bother to wait for help on climbing onto her horse, instead she pulled herself up and set off. A single guard followed right after her for her protection and not because she wanted him to.

Pulling the hood of her cloak up, Sarafina attempted to shield her face from the bite of the cold air, but little could be done. The wind was unforgiving, turning her cheeks red and biting harshly. She didn't seem to mind.

The path to the 'her ridge' was well mapped out in her head and the ground itself. No amount of snow could fully hide the beaten path, her mare even seemed to know the way well. The guard behind her kept a safe distance, preferring not to upset Sarafina if he rode too close. It wasn't that she disliked his company, it was that the ridge had become her place. A spot within her husband's land that she claimed for herself. Somewhere she could go when she wanted to get away for a little while.

Arrival at the ridge had her dismounting quickly. There was a lone tree that grew without any help beyond it's own roots. Symbolic in a way, Sarafina had found the tree suitable to climb and so she did. Hand over hand and slowly at first, Sarafina climbed up just until she was able to nestle herself and have a vintage point to the valley below. Her cloak remained some shelter from the wind, the tree providing the rest. It was purely for her own selfish reasons why she wanted visited the ridge everyday. She wanted nothing more than to be the first person to see her husband return home, this ridge provided that view.

Having grown used to the way the mountains seemed to carry their own time, Sarafina knew she could stay in her spot until the eastern light touched a particular set of trees. Her eyes went back and forth from those trees to the valley out in front of her as her mind wandered.

It normally went first to the war itself. Why it was being fought and how her husband had decided to risk his life and take what was rightfully the North's. Usually at first thought of her husband, Sarafina's senses would feel with the memory of him. His fierce icy gaze, sent those faint of heart running away. His eyes however, often warmed her, she assumed it was because he loved her. Continuing to picture his image in her head, next were his lips.  Her own lips ached with the loss of his, she wondered how much longer she would have to go without the taste of him. Even her ears seemed to miss the sound of his voice, the way he whispered her name when it was just the two of them. A jolt of something undefinable ran through her at the mere  thought of his whispers. Clearing her head of such thoughts, she felt the slightest fading blush fall away from her cheeks. The cold air helped with it.

Content with watching the valley below, Sarafina did her best to push away all the sad thoughts, but a few crept their dark claws into mind. Fear prickled against her skin as she feared that her loving husband would never return. She didn't consider herself a religious woman, but having found love in a man who didn't want to break her spirit had given her some faith. With that new faith she prayed to who ever listened of his safe return. She wouldn't fall to her knees in prayer, but did so in the safety of her tree. The first weeks away from him she prayed of his quick return. As the weeks turned into months, her prayers also changed. Instead of being quick returned, she prayed for him to be safe and unharmed. When news travelled back, it spread like wildfire of the harshness of the war. Men dying in the fields, some suffering in medical tents. Her prayers changed for him to come home alive. She knew in her heart that it didn't matter if he came home scarred or beaten, she simply wanted him alive. Her love for him would overcome anything physical.

The dark thoughts continued to grow until felt the first of many tears begin to fall. Sarafina had learned to cry silently as to not alert the guard that often followed her out to the ridge. Instead she let them slip down her cheeks and fall from her chin. While she wanted to maintain the image of being a strong woman, it was almost impossible to hold back the tears. Her beloved husband could be dead and half buried in some forsaken field and she wouldnt know for weeks, she hated how slow news travelled. Everyday she fought the urge to take off and go find him. At least if she was near the battles she'd be able to go to him, see that he was okay. However, deep down she knew if she has somehow found her way to him she'd likely protest and try to hold him back from joining the fight. Adding to that would be the fear of watching him die. Sarafina knew she'd just get in the way of the healers who would do their best to save him. Despite how much she missed him, Sarafina knew her place was in Hykross.

When she married him she knew that it wasn't just to him, but to his title as well. She was now the Duchess of Hykross, a woman who would need to lead in her husband's absence. At first she was terrified of such a task, turning to the few advisors that stayed behind for all the guidance they could provided. There were plenty of times in the early weeks of him being gone that she felt unsuitable for the job. While she never questioned their relationship or the love between them, she did question why he would let her lead. His advisors were far better suited for the job, however like before they were old traditions not easily broken.

With time the tears dried enough for her to wipe them away. The ache in her chest had lessened only a little but it was still a relief. Carefully finding her way down the tree, she adjusted her cloak before remounting her mare. The horse had dozed off but quickly woke at the sound of her rider.

Turning her mare with the reins, Sarafina rode past the guard who bowed slightly as she rode past him.

"I think I'll go to the village later today, I want to check on the food stores there, make sure they have a enough in case we have a bigger storm," Sarafina told him.

Having two drinks down and a light flush to his cheeks, Oliver paid close attention to Xander. He marveled at how easily his former lover matured.The lines of his face were sharper than when they were young. Oliver smiled, wondering how much of it was because of their poor diet. There was something romantic about being broke and in love, back then neither of them cared if they ate more microwaves meals then fresh meals.

Pulling his attention away from Xander and back to his drink, Oliver titled his glass to let the ice clank together. Normally he preferred fruit mixed with his vodka but this evening he mixed it with coffee liqueur. For a brief moment, he was distracted by the swirl created in his glass.

"Oliver, do you wanna come to my room? So we can keep talking," Xander asked as gestured toward a group of men barging into the bar. It seemed like they were in the area for some kind of convention judging by how smartly they were dressed. Oliver nodded before he downed the rest of his drink and rose to his feet. He swayed slightly but he wasn't drunk, simply buzzed. Xander smiled slightly before taking the lead. Oliver walking beside him as they made their way to the elevator.

Once inside the elevator, Oliver felt himself gravitate closer to Xander. They weren't touching but close to it, Xander didn't say anything and his smile remained.

The elevator dinged on the 4th floor. Again Xander took the lead with Oliver walking by his side. His room wasn't too far from the elevator and once his keycard permitted access, Xander gestured for Oliver to go first.

The hotel room was inviting. A small sitting area with two chairs and a low table, a  bed a few feet away. Oliver didn't hesitate and took up residence in one of the chairs. Xander offered him a glass of water, which he took gladly and downed nearly half. There was silence between them again as they simply sat in the chairs, Xander toyed with his own glass of water for a moment. Olivers closed his eyes slightly as a bigger smile formed on his lips.

"I keep thinking back that weekend when we traveled an ungodly distance to go to some book signing. We stayed in a shitty hotel" Oliver said in order to fill the silence, Xander chuckled slightly from his seat.

"Yeah, your parents offered to pay for a different hotel but we were too proud to admit we messed up. It was our first trip as a couple. I was too upset about the hotel to really enjoy it." Xander added his smile growing wider.

"I had fun,"

"Really?"

"Of course, I got to spend the weekend with you. Away from school and homework. It was a nice even if the hotel sucked,"

"I guess your right," Xander replied his voice soft with emotion. Memories from that weekend so many years ago started to flood back. So much had changed between them, Xander felt as if he missed so much of Oliver's life.

The man sitting across from him was different. He wasn't harsher, but he looked as if he had seen a lot of the world, the good and the bad. Xander was curious to know what he had missed. Would he have the chance to learn? Or would Oliver disappear from his life all over again? A frown shifted over Xander's face as he realized that Oliver might be gone before daybreak, a fleeting dream.

"Are you seeing anyone?" Oliver asked seemingly out of nowhere.

"Do you really want to know?"

"I'm just trying to keep up the conversation," Oliver replied as an attempt to defend his question and perhaps a selfish reason for that question.

"No, I'm single. You?"

"It's complicated,"

"Complicated?" Xander questioned his brow raised for a second.

"Um..he is straight and it's complicated," Oliver repeated looking away from Xander for a brief moment.

"I'm not..straight that is..we wouldn't be complicated," Xander said mostly to himself but still loud enough for Oliver to hear.

"But we have history and it would be complicated,"

"It's only complicated if you make it complicated Oliver,"

"I don't want things to be complicated," Oliver confessed his eyes shifting down to stare at the carpet of the hotel room.

"We don't have to be complicated," Xander told him as he rose up from his chair, stepping closer to. Oliver's eyes went up and his head tilted back slightly to make eye contact with Xander. His golden brown eyes were searching the Xander's hazel depths. Trying to find something, anything that he could cling to.

"Xander we shouldn't,"

"Why not Oliver?" Xander's voice was pained, verging on aching for something that only Oliver had. All earlier sense of buzz had evaporated between them. The air was charged with a tension both of them were afraid to break.

"Tell me no if you don't want this," Xander said after a moment as he slowly leaned forward, moving his lips closer to press softly against Oliver's. There was no sound of protest or hint of regret as Oliver accepted Xander's kiss. From their places it was awkward, Oliver was leaning forward from his seat, Xander above him but it wasn't rushed. The kiss lasted a heartbeat too long to be innocent it was edging into the familiar territory of two old lovers remembering each other.

Xander didn't break away and Oliver moved his arms to wrap around his neck, pulling closer. Xander's heart pounded harder in his chest. The Oliver he knew was a timid lover. This was a pleasant surprise. Seconds later the two of the broke apart, lips tender from the brief make out. Xander smiled as Oliver slowly opened his eyes, a blush tinting his cheeks.

Their break didn't last long as Xander returned Oliver's enthusiasm, pulling the other from his chair and closer to him. Oliver let out a soft gasp as he pressed closer to Xander. The old flame that burned between them ignited with a passion that surprised them both. Oliver wanted to blame it on the alcohol but he knew it wasn't the reason, he was fully aware of his choices.

Xander's fingers found the back of Oliver's head and gripped into his hair. A sharp intake of breath made Xander proud, Oliver was still weak to that. As they continued to kiss, Xander let himself get greedy. He had spent too much time without the taste of Oliver on his lips. He wanted to indulge in all that he was given.

Unlike Blaize, Xander didn't have the strength to hoist Oliver up and carrying him to the bed, but it didn't seem to matter. The two managed to kiss and move together decently for Oliver to feel the bed hit the back of his legs. There was a moment of hesitation as Oliver fall back on the bed and looked up at Xander.

This was his chance to leave, he could easily say no and walk out of the room without a second thought, but instead, he stayed. It was the look of need in Xander's eyes that kept him there. He craved that desire, the look that he was someone important. It was selfish and he knew it, but he couldn't help it. Oliver could blame it on his low self-esteem or that darker fear that Blaize's affection already moved on. One fact remained, being with Xander wasn't revenge. He would never be so cruel.

He was brought back to the present by the press of Xander's lips to the junction where his neck met his shoulder. A moan escaped him as his skin continued to flush.

"I've missed you so much," Xander whispered softly the brush of his words against Oliver's skin making him shiver.

"Don't leave any marks," Oliver gasped softly, Xander agreed by placing gentle presses of lips to the skin. It was tender, almost loving.

"You sure you want this," Xander asked as his careful hands moved to the bottom buttons of Oliver's shirt. Oliver nodded his head slowly as he felt the cool air scrap against his lower belly. Xander kissed him again, harder this time, they worked together to strip each other of any barriers.

Pressed against each other naked, Oliver gasped softly as his hardness pressed against Xander's. At first, they rocked together, mouths locked together in messy kissing. Xander pulled away and Oliver let out a sound of protest when he lost the connection. Oliver watched as Xander reached for his travel bag, Oliver had an idea of what he was grabbing.

There was a sudden sense of dread that filled his chest, Oliver couldn't do it. It struck him almost like a lightning bolt, he didn't want Xander to go there as silly as it sounded, he wanted to keep that for Blaize. Oliver closed his eyes as emotions continued to overwhelm him, what was he doing.

'Blaize has probably fucked her you know, Probably had her over his desk, You said it yourself, he is straight'

Those intrusive thoughts grew louder and part of him started to believe what was being said. Blaize wouldn't want him anymore. He was used up. Even as the dark thoughts clouded him he could hear the soft thought trying to burn through the heavy ones.

'He came back to you.' The softer voice whispered in his head 'He hasn't touched you in days.' The louder one screamed 'You love him!' The soft one again 'He doesn't love you!' The louder one even harsher

Xander returned to the bed, the bottle of lube in his right hand. The capped popped open and pulled Oliver to the present. Xander was over him again, his lips once again on Oliver's. The press of Xander's lips helped ease away from his inner turmoil, a welcome distraction. However, as Xander's hand moved further south, the slight coolness of the lube, Oliver put his hand against Xander's chest to stop him.

"We can't do that" Oliver finally said his voice shaking. Xander face instantly shifted to show concern but Oliver didn't let him linger long, instead, he pulled Xander to kiss him again. "We can do other stuff just not that," Oliver said without opening his eyes.

"Okay, that's fine," Xander replied his lips becoming softer as they traveled from Oliver's mouth down his body. Over his nipples, Xander lavished attention until Oliver was gasping nearly shaking with need. Oliver's earlier tension continued to melt away as Xander's hands touched every sensitive part of him: his hard nipples, the head of his cock, the soft skin of his inner thighs. All the areas that drove Oliver closer to the edge, almost begging for more.

"Touch me," Oliver pleaded and Xander didn't hesitate to do so. His hand was slow and steady, stroking Oliver's cock until he was gasping louder than before.

"Touch me too Oliver," Xander requested, his eyes pleading. Oliver didn't hesitate to pull Xander to be flush against him once again, their cock pressing together. The lubricant was added to make it easier to press against each other. Xander kissed Oliver's skin, giving him the touch he craved until they both orgasmed. Xander called out Oliver's name. Oliver bit his tongue to hold back the name he was dying to cry out.  

Panting together the two pulled apart, Xander was the first to get up. Their mixed release pooling on Oliver's stomach, a sensation he was quickly coming to dislike.  Xander pressed a gentle kiss to Oliver's forehead, Oliver smiled weakly. Xander disappeared into the bathroom for a brief moment before returning with a warm towel.

"Are you going to stay?" Xander asked his soft despite having cried out so loudly before.

"Um..yeah I think I will if you don't mind. My apartment will be cold and I don't want to go back," Oliver explained as he gave a nod of gratitude to the towel given to him.

"I understand. Do you want to shower?" Oliver shook his head no, he was content with using the towel to clean himself up. "I'm going to. You know me, not a fan of the mess," Xander told him, again pressing a kiss to Oliver's forehead. Oliver nodded, trying to force a smile but it almost looked like a grimace. He was glad Xander didn't notice.

Oliver waited until he heard the shower before he got off the bed and put on his pants. He gathered up the rest of his clothing and folded them before placing them in the chair he used. Another rush of emotion washed over him, Oliver felt drained and not in a good way.

'You fucking cheater,' 'You just fucked someone else,' 'He will never want you now'

The negative thoughts bombarded him until he turned on the tv as a way to drown out the words. He focused on the show until all of the thoughts started to fade. He was thankful that show was about antiques, something that kept some of Oliver's interest.

Once the shower turned off, Xander re-entered the room to find Oliver on the left side of the bed, already under the covers. Xander dried his hair and pulled on some sweatpants to sleep in.

"Goodnight Oliver," He whispered as he climbed into the bed, moving to cuddle against Oliver's back. Oliver didn't reply back, pretending to be already asleep. He remained that way until he could feel the soft inhale and exhale that showed Xander was sleeping. Oliver shifted slightly to get himself a little more space until he could lay on his back, looking up at the plain ceiling.

"I'm sorry," He whispered as tears threatened to overwhelm him. He knew deep down he was a horrible person. He wasn't worth the love or affection of anyone let alone Blaize Elliot. Not to mention he just used Xander to get off, but was worse was that he didn't regret what he did. Despite what was whirling around in his head that was the aftermath, Oliver would have done it again if given a second chance.

Dressed in the softest of silk sleeping gowns, her hair braided down her back with ribbons to keep it tidy. Queen Claudia was the picturesque image of an expectant mother. The small swell of her belly was a telling sign that the life within her was growing strong. Soft cooing noises escaped her as she ran her fingers over her silk covered tummy. For a moment she pictured her soft fingers had been exchanged for the rough hands of her lover, his gentle kiss as he whispered sweet nothings to their unborn child. Those private fantasies were kept deep within her heart as she tried not to dwell on the fact that her lover was off fighting a war her husband started.

"I know," Came a voice from near her bedchamber door. She recognized his voice and didn't bother to rise up, considering his words were biting. "That child can't be mine, I haven't actually fucked you for a while now," His voice turned bitter near the end, sending an unwanted chill up Claudia's spine. "Who's bastard is it? Did you spread your legs for some lowly servant?" His voice rose in volume as his rage built.

"I never once complained about you welcoming every girl into your bed," She replied still refusing to turn to face him. Her husband let out a noise that almost sounded like a snarling before throwing something against the wall and hearing it shatter. "What I do in my bed is none of your concern! I can fuck who I want! I am King!" He shouted rushing toward her to stand before her, face red in anger.

"And I am Queen!" She replied, looking up to meet his gaze.

"No, you are a Princess of some tiny country sent here to give me heirs. I can strip you of everything you ever had. I can banish you or even have you killed," He roared but she didn't flinch, not even when he crowed into her space as she sat. Claudia kept her gaze on him, her eyes dark and just a glance shy of being a glare. "Who is he?"

"I'll never tell,"

"So be it. I'll ensure you never leave this room. Once the war is done I will find a way to rid myself of you," William stated and watched the fear flicker in Claudia's beautiful eyes, a dark smile crossing his lips. There was a painful silence that broke between them before William departed from her room. A deafening slam of her chamber door echoed as shouts were heard from outside. She couldn't bother to move instead she sat there with her hand over her belly as a way to protect her child.

~~~

           Days turned into weeks and William kept his word. Claudia was never allowed to her leave her chambers. A few maids were sent in to tend to her basic needs, but she remained a well-cared for prisoner. All her ladies-in-waiting had been dismissed, William lied and said it was an old religious tradition. However, if anyone knew Claudia from her other two pregnancies they knew it to be a lie. In the past she often spent time out and with court well into her final month of pregnancy.

Claudia attempted a few times to write letters to get the word out of her mistreatment, but they were always intercepted by William's guards. The letters were often turned to her in the form of small piles of ash. She did try to persuade a few maids to sneak notes out but often times the girls were too afraid, William had a strong hold over those in his castle. The civil war had made him paranoid and prone to violent outbursts. The maids were thinking of themselves or their families first, which Claudia had to respect.

~~~

Well into her eighth month of pregnancy with the rounded of her belly well pronounced, Claudia wondered what she could do. Rasmus was busy fighting and no way she could get a letter to him. If she did manage to sneak it out, someone could read it before him and alert the King of the truth of their relationship.

"Your majesty, one of the lady cooks have made you a special meal for the health of the baby," A young maid announced, curtsying before Claudia as she presented the dish. Claudia offered her a slightly distracted smile as she turned to look at her meal. It looked divine but she found little desire to eat.

"I am not hungry, but you may eat it,"

"Oh I couldn't, but I'll be sure to keep it warm for you in case you are hungry later," The maid said before moving the tray closer to the small fire the kept the winter's chill out of her chambers.

"Ruth, can you tell me any new of the war. Is it near an end?" Claudia asked, phrasing her question carefully to hopefully gain some details about Rasmus.

"Hard to say your majesty, we've had a terrible loss. Half our fleet went north, his Lord Commander Sir Rasmus and nearly half our troops were lost at sea. We wait now to hear from him or perhaps we admit defeat," The girl went on to talk more, providing Claudia with the news she assumed she wanted but Claudia was deaf to all noise. Upon hearing the phrase <I>'lost at sea'</i>

Ruth's words were on a loop, damned to repeat over and over in her head as she began to shake. Rasmus was gone, he had been forced in to a watery grave. She knew very little of the navy but she did know quite a bit about the water so far north. Storms crashed against hard rocks during every season. No one dared to navigate those seas. Her lover must be truly desperate to end the war to risk such a dangerous tactic.

"You are sure... that Sir Rasmus is gone," Claudia managed to stutter out which caught the maid off guard. The young woman had gone on to talk about the low food supply on the account of all of it going to the troops. It took her a moment to realize what the Queen had said.

"Yes, His Majesty announced it today, promoted Lord Erwin Duke of Millford in his place to lead the armies," Ruth told her sensing the sadness in Claudia.  "Is something wrong? Is the baby okay?" Ruth asked, confusion present in her soft voice. Claudia shook her head before pushing herself out of her chair, a slight wobble as she found her center of gravity. Ruth was by her side instantly but Claudia gently pushed her away. She made her away slowly to a desk and pull toward her a small piece of parchment to write a note.

She was quick, her handwriting elegant and efficient. Ruth hovered near her, still unsure of what was going on but still very keen on helping her Queen.

"Ruth, I need you to deliver this to Sir Henry Landon, it is very important it gets to him without anyone noticing. I know it is a big risk for you but if you manage to do this for me I will ensure your family is safe," Claudia looked at the young woman with eyes full of determination despite her condition. Ruth was silent but nodded accepting the letter and turning toward the tray she had carried in. She opened it up and placed the letter on top of the meal before covering it back up. Claudia nodded her approval before watching as the woman made her way out of her chambers.

~

The full moon filled the bed chamber, but Claudia hadn't noticed. She was sitting warm by the fire, a fur-lined cloak thrown over her shoulders. Despite her swollen feet from her pregnancy, she managed to slide her feet into a pair of boots. She looked prepared to leave despite her husband's confinement.

Three knocks tapped at her door and Ruth was quick to rise, Claudia nodded for the woman to open the door. In strode Sir Henry Landon, a man of age and wisdom. He bowed before his queen. He too was dressed for travel.

"I have my own guards at your door tonight. His Majesty is already in his chambers across the castle. My guards would sooner die then betray my trust. We can sneak you through the kitchen. I have hired a carriage to take you wherever you wish to go. But you must walk a short distance to meet him. I couldn't risk him alerting the guards by coming closer," Henry explained. Claudia nodded as a sign of approval.

"I can't thank you enough Henry, I owe you so much," She added emotion rising in her throat. He put aside all formalities and pulled the woman into an embrace. Years as an ambassador to her home country had awarded him status of a beloved uncle.

"May I ask one thing? Why now? You could have asked sooner"

"I thought the war would have been over by now and my child's father returned to me, but he is lost. My child is restless and I am sure he or she will be born before the end of Winter. I will not risk their new life because once they are born the truth of their father will become clear," Claudia told him, carefully choosing her words to remain cryptic. She didn't want either of them to know that Rasmus was the father. It was her secret alone.

"I understand. Where will you go?"

"I believe Valeire will give me shelter," She told him adding no more information.

"Exchange cloaks with Ruth," Henry told her which earned a sort of shocked expression from Claudia. "Everyone knows that cloak, you wear it all the time. We can't risk you being spotted beforehand. Ruth's cloak is much more ragged and you will go unnoticed," Henry explained as he helped her to exchange them. Ruth had remained mostly silent between the exchange but accepting the cloak. Ruth didn't bother to put it on instead she placed it inside a lockable trunk for when Claudia returned.

"Henry, please write to Sophia and Robbie when you can, explain to them I am not running away from them but their father. I will likely have to go into hiding, but I will do my best to keep you updated. Ensure my children are safe, I don't think William has it in him to hurt our children, but I don't trust him, not anymore." Claudia said her voice again edging closer to breaking. Henry nodded patting her shoulder softly.

"Gather whatever you wish to take with you but we have to hurry," Henry told her as he glanced out the window. There wasn't much time left judging by the moon's position. Claudia nodded and without a word she quickly gathered her things. She was bringing with her only a small writing box, filled to the brim with writing material and unsent letter. Around her neck she wore a necklace that was given to her by Rasmus and made the bold choice of leaving behind William's gifted wedding ring. The ring was one last jab at him. She nodded toward Henry who took her hand gently and lead her out the door. Ruth didn't follow she was to wait one hour before departing back to her own bed. Henry took the lead but Claudia set the pace. Her large belly made moving slow, but they went mostly unnoticed, Henry's guards were loyal and didn’t utter a sound as they walked past them.

Down the corridor and through the silent kitchen, Claudia had to pause for a moment to catch her breath, her heart hammering away in her chest. Henry waited before urging her on to walk carefully out of the castle courtyard and toward a doorway in the gate. She adjusted the hood of her cloak and kept her head down, Henry did the same.

"Halt!" A guard called, forcing them both to freeze. However, it seems that Henry was prepared for this.

"I am taking my daughter home to have her child in her mother's care, we wanted to leave before dawn to avoid any bandits on the road," He told the guard, doing his best to rid his voice of its natural authoritative tone. The guard nodded before stepping aside and letting them past.

Claudia let out a sigh of relief as they were on the main road. She was able to raise her head up and see the carriage. Two black horses tossed their heads slightly as their driver hushed them. "Your majesty, this is where I leave you. Travel safe and write as soon as you can," Henry told her upon their arrival at the carriage. She thanked him with another hug before stepping up with help into the carriage and sitting. The driver offered Henry a parting wave before urge the horses into a walk then an easy trot. Claudia peeked through the window behind her until Henry was nothing more than a dot. Under the sounds of the carriage moving onward, Claudia was able to finally let the stress of the past few hours out in sobs.

Large tears fell down her face as she came to terms with quite possibly never seeing her children again. Fear entrapped her, would William hurt them to spite her? Sophia was by far the most charming of princesses. She had a certain quality about her, one that would make her a beloved Queen. Robbie although young was also clever and smart, a natural caretaker. Claudia thought fondly of her children, pictured Sophia sitting beside her and Robbie doing his best to calm her tears. She missed them dearly, perhaps more then she missed Rasmus. The longing returned as she also realized the truth that Rasmus was gone from her as well. He would never see the child that grew inside her, never teach them to walk or even watch them grow. Through the tears and soft sobbing Claudia felt the child kick and move within her, perhaps reminding her that she wasn't alone. That even if she was running away from one life she would have some part of Rasmus with her always. Claudia did her best to sooth the child by drawing patterns over her belly, holding back the sobs that threatened to bring her to the floor of the carriage.

The trip in the carriage was slow and provided her little comfort the way it moved. Not that it even mattered, she couldn't sleep. Instead she watched the sunrise and tried to smile at the sight of large corn fields that showed they had made it to the Duchy. However, Claudia found no comfort until the sound of cobblestone hitting the wheels of the carriage. They were finally at Darfield Keep, home of her only true friend.

Unsure if the Henry warned anyone beforehand, Claudia held her breath as the carriage pulled right up to the entrance of the Keep. She waited only a moment as the driver stepped down and opened the door. She was pleasantly surprised to see Valerie standing on the steps to the Keep.

"Dearest Valerie," Claudia called out to her, alerting her oldest friend of her location. Valerie made her way over to her, Claudia wanted to cry again but found the tears impossible. "I need your help,"

"Sir Henry Landon sent a brief note already. You need something to eat and to rest, I had the servants prepare a room for you. You will go there first to change into something more comfortable. You've been through enough," Valerie told her without letting Claudia interject but she didn't mind. Instead she listened to her friend and followed whoever was leading her into a room befitting her status as Queen.

In all truth Claudia didn't care for all the glamour, she simply wanted to sleep in a bed and hold back the sadness. A young maid brought her a meal but she ate very little of it and asked to be left alone to sleep. She slept for only a few short hours before being forced awake, a sharp pain in her back. There wasn't much time for panic considered she had been a mother twice; she knew the pains of labor. Calling out for help, Claudia was impressed to find midwives and Valeire rushing to her aid. Valerie came to sit beside her, offering a hand for Claudia to cling to as each contraction forced her to cry out. It was safe to assume that stressed had forced the baby to come early. Claudia was scared at first but also eager which made for a very unique state of emotion for her.

Claudia labored for nearly ten hours until finally the screams of a new baby filled her room. Despite getting little sleep and travelling, Claudia reached out for her baby with renewed vigor. She held the small screaming infant to her chest, offering soft cooing sounds as she kissed the baby's soft skin. Tears rolled down her cheek as the baby slowly quieted down when finally, in her mother's arms. Valeire offered Claudia a gentle touch to her forehead as the midwives continued to tend to her.

"She is perfect and beautiful," Spoke finally, counting her new daughter's fingers and toes and kissing each of them.

"Did you pick out a name already?" Valeire asked, Claudia nodded. She had chosen a few names for boys but only one name for a girl. It had been chosen carefully because of the fond memory it invoked within her. The memory of the first time Rasmus said he loved her.

"Rosalynn Griswulf," Claudia spoke softly, alerting her friend to the true nature of the newborn’s parents and explaining her sudden need to escape her husband.

"I'm sure she will be strong just like her father," Valerie told her rising up from the bed and offering the new mother a little more space with her child. Claudia nodded too overcome with emotion to use her words. Instead she held her daughter close to her and simply stared. Memorizing each feature of her daughter. She even took charge in cleaning her Rosalynn with warm water. It wasn't that she didn't trust the midwives but that she simply wanted to keep Rosalynn as close to her as possible. The newborn was all that she had left of Rasmus and no harm would ever come to her little rose.