#hedgerider

Like a lot of other, but not all, witches I fly once in a while. Today was such a day. On dark moon I can't fly this time, carnaval is here and that gives a lot of noise in my surroundings and hubby is home too. Both things are not appropriate if I want to fly. Most of the time I fly /trance or whatever on full or dark moon, if it's possible. I made a report of it, not all the details are in this report. Some things are to personal to share with you all.

I lighted the candles, on the table before me is homemade mead. This evening I do everything without tools, everything I do is in my head. I found a place on my couch and started rocking for- and backwards on the tic toc rhythm of my little clock. (Please try this rocking method if you want to learn yourself how to fly. It's simple and it's working) Around my neck is a necklace with knockles and bones. In my hand a witch bottle for protection. I called the elementals just by recognizing them, the cold North with its icy face, the Birds in the East, Salamanders in the South and Mermaids in the West. Then I started to grow a tree, a green tree, roots are growing and his branches high in the sky. I need some branches to grow to a friend of mine of lost her father last week. The branches are touching them and I send them warm dreams full of love of their (grand) father. Tonight they will be dreaming. One branch touches my husband, he's tired from the last busy weeks. Another branch touches all my newly grown pepper and tomato plants.

In the branches I see an owl, I heard one when I started to rock. My mind goes to a cave in Barvaux, Belgium. There is a door to the other world. I knew it was there, but never entered that door. Light, shadow, dancing people and creatures, a fire, an old witch leans back to a tree. In her hand a cup with a drink. Now, while I'm writing this I know it's me. I didn't recognize my old self over there. When I called the old spirits, they instruct me to drink that whole glass of mead and start dancing in the dark. Dancing, dancing, dancing, dancing. A great fire and out of that fire comes a knight with fiery red hair. I feel a kind of honored to see this. I've saw old vulcanoes awaking, earthquakes in the past and the future, how the sea is deforming islands but forming new ones. There are great powers, scary for us humans but just part of nature. After all this I awakened in my own living room. Somehow in this all I changed my normal clothes to my pyjama's and I didn't even know that.

I have been practicing witchcraft and paganism since I was nine years old - ironically, the same age that I was baptised because my mother wanted to purify herself, so forced it on me too - and I have been dedicated to the goddess Gaia for six and a half years. This seems like the next step - the natural progression - of my faith.

Disclaimer: this is a bit personal and I wasn’t sure if I should’ve posted it. I decided to do it anyway to show people what hedge riding is like for me. Also bad writing up ahead.  

Codependency has always been a lingering entity in my life. Thus, when changes occur there is a tendency to cling on desperately—denial, false hope, and rationalization typically occur simultaneously. These tendencies stem from childhood trauma yet at the same time, reasons for certain behaviors are inexcusable in the grand scheme of things. At the end of a five-year relationship, all these tendencies came crashing down, as if I was sinking deeper in the depths of the ocean and everything surrounded my body and psyche to a crushing and suffocating pressure. There was a feeling of being trapped yet I felt the need to sink in deeper for the sake of concepts and principles.

Such concepts and principles fueled codependent behavior. I was a huge believer in a “grand scheme”, an “ultimate purpose”, a “meant to be”. These ideas were borne out of Christian ideals, where an ever-present and all-knowing being planned a path and purpose for individuals. This concept enabled my behavior, as a result, I saw a relationship with this person as the means and an end—a purpose, the purpose of my life. Everything that I have planned in my life was to be with this person and for this person. A hard concept to shake, a hard person to let go.

I believe the Magus visited me to chastise me from this train of thought.

At the beginning of my journey, my spirit usually stands over my physical body—where I see myself blindfolded in a meditative pose. As soon as I separated, I saw a masked shadowy figure loom over my body. My immediate reaction was fear because it was unknown. Luckily, I always cast a circle of protection before journeying to alternate reality—thus, the masked shadow is unable to take hold of my body.

I ignored the entity because I believed that if I acknowledged it, then it would follow or attack me. Ironically, the shadow still followed and attacked me. As my spirit made its way to the hiking trail, the entity started smiling at me with sinister intent, then he started harassing me. He held onto my arm, causing my steps to become heavier, my lungs filled with fear. I finally spoke to him and told him to “be gone”. He let go for a few seconds, but immediately took hold of my left arm again and kept harassing me verbally. I don’t remember what he was rambling about, but he was saying things while being a burden. I pretended to be fine with his harassment and said, “it’s okay, you can hold onto me, I am unbothered by your presence”—but, I was afraid.

I finally reached the hiking trail as well as the tree that I use to enter the lower realm. My spirit companion named Kip came out of the roots—something he rarely does. I will talk about Kip another time if he allows me. He chastises the masked shadow, telling him to detach himself from me. Kip, then transforms into his griffin form and rushes me through the dirt tunnel of the root system. The shadow chases after us matching our speed but barely catching up.

We flew past the forest clearing and the golden wheat fields and quickly arrived at Sheridan’s cottage. Sheridan opens the door and looked at us with an exasperated expression, asking me “what have you done now”, while peering at the masked shadow. He then addresses it and says “you can’t enter here you’re disgusting”—but the masked shadow disrespects Sheridan and enters anyway. He thrashes the place and tries to grab me and put me in a choke-hold.

Sheridan mutters a spell and throws a concoction at the shadow. What was revealed is an old man graying and hunched covered in robes. All the hostility from him vanished, instead a calm and authoritative demeanor surrounded him. He introduced himself, “I am Sigma the Magus, I have many things to show you” he points at me, then beckons me into a large golden mirror. Within the mirror, it shows a forested area, revealing an ethereal lake with a large waterfall feeding into it.

I was afraid to go with the Magus, so I asked Kip if he could come along with me and he did.

We entered through the mirror, there the ethereal lake glimmered with an unearthly shine. Graduating between pastel colors of pink, blue, green, and yellow. The magus sat on a stone by the shore of the lake, Kip and I followed him. I don’t quite remember how the conversation between the Magus and I went, but we spoke about my past decisions and anxieties. There, he told me to kneel and proclaim the changes and covenants I plan to make. What was most important to me? What am I ashamed of? What mistakes have I made? What is my true nature? I spoke loudly and true, but one thing I could not do is let go of this person that I’ve been in a five-year relationship with. The thought of proclaiming, “I will let him go for I have hurt him in many ways, and he has hurt me. The pain we inflicted cannot be healed, for our codependency, prevents us from doing so” brought me so much pain I could feel my stomach curl and my mouth latch close. My soul and physical body had tears streaming down my eyes. Memories of love flashed through my mind, and none of these words could be uttered.

There the nymph of the lake appeared from the surface of the water. The Magus introduced her as his wife, but he never gave me her name. She had long wavy hair covering her breasts, with a majestic tail shimmering as the lake did with silk-like fins. Kip transforms me into a mermaid, then I followed her into the depths.

The lake was ocean-like, as we moved deeper the shimmer and glow faded into the distance. Slowly we were surrounded by a somber dark blue—then total darkness. A structure appeared as we reached the bottom of the lake. Four columns of stone surrounded a centerpiece that had a luminescent glow. The nymph motioned for me to approach the light, as I held it in my hands—the same memories flashed into my mind. As I was reliving these memories a ghostly voice spoke “There is no such thing as destiny or fate. Nothing is intertwined, but there is a connectedness to events. What only exists are causalities and actions. Things that are out of control occur because of proximity; the die rolled out by lady luck—a happenstance. The things you experience, the people you meet, the pain that exists. Happens for a reason, but not pre-conceived reasons, rather reasons that happen from other reasons. A series of events, a domino. Chaos that exists in the universe and the chances of objects interacting with other objects.

—he is a happenstance. There is no red string of fate binding, he is not an angel sent by an eternal being. He is just a man that you met and fell in love with. Nothing more nothing less, and all the structures of this relationship are falling apart. Behaviors and tendencies betray, you cannot continue this relationship anymore.” The stream of memories ended, and the voice faded.

The Library of the Poison Garden

Those students that seek to wander the paths of the Poison Garden would do well to spend some considerable time researching their chosen plant spirit guides. This poison path is one fraught with danger to those who are less than methodic, who would take reckless shortcuts or seek thrill above wisdom. Study, much reading and understanding, is a required practice in the journey of the hedgerider. Anything less leads to certain death.

Despite a landfill's worth of useless paperback ratcage fodder written on "herbalism" and "herb magic" there is actually very little practical information easily found for the study of this particular branch of craft practice. Sensationalist crap recycling questionable lists of plant attributes, watered down Gerald's Herbal remedies passing as folk magic. Almost none of said books giving proper attention to the true plants of the witch traditions.

So I have gathered together a list of books for the would be reader to hunt down. Not all are easily found, but the desire to learn must overcome the obstacles in order to achieve the knowledge needed for the task at hand. Herein you will find a selection of books that form the center of the Library of the Poison Garden. Read well and tread carefully on the poison path.

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Plants of the Gods: Their Sacred, Healing, and Hallucinogenic Powers - Albert Hofmann, Richard Evans Schultes, Christian Rätsch

Hofmann and Evans-Schultes classic introduction to entheogenic plants updated extensively by researcher and anthropologist Rätsch. Full of amazing photos, charts and maps of the world's various entheogenic plants and the cultures that embrace them.

Dreamtime: Concerning the Boundary between Wilderness and Civilization - Hans Peter Duerr

Duerr broke a lot of ground in this seminal 1970s look at shamanistic use of entheogens in world culture. A foundational text on the subject of altered states. Required reading.

Old Vegetable Neurotics:Hemlock, Opium, Belladonna and Henbane - John Harley

Harley's 19th century Gulstonian lecture was over a century ahead of itself. A sharp eyed look at the scientific use of the components of the witches ointment without a drop of folklore or legend. Straight science of doses, reactions and antidotes. (Available as a public domain pdf here.)

Ecstasies: Deciphering the Witches' Sabbath - Carlo Ginzburg

Ginzburg's theories around the origins of the Sabbat practice are controversial, yet the historic insight into the early use of herbal ointments is profound.

The Mystic Mandrake - C.J.S Thompson

Thompson delivers a detailed history of the mandragora, an overview of the historic legends surrounding this anthropomorphic plant.

Pharmako Series (Pharmako/Poeia: Plant Powers, Poisons, and Herbcraft, Pharmako/Dynamis: Stimulating Plants, Potions, and Herbcraft, Pharmako Gnosis: Plant Teachers and the Poison Path) - Dale Pendell

Pendell's poetic encyclopedic study of the history and uses of psychoactive plants, published over 2 decades, illuminates the personal practice of one long on the poison path. Particularly useful is his Pharmako:Gnosis.

The Long Trip: A Prehistory of Psychedelia - Paul Devereux

Devereux is a researcher with a body of work that would fill a library. From megalithic sites, fairy roads and landscape magic to this overview of the history of human drug use his work is always insightful.

Witchcraft Medicine: Healing Arts, Shamanic Practices and Forbidden Plants - Claudia Müller-Ebeling & Christian Rätsch

Müller-Ebeling & Rätsch are something of a superhero research couple in the world of entheogens. Witchcraft Medicine offers some particular insights into the cultural practices of European folk traditions.

The Book of Poisons - Gustav Schenk

Schenk's book of poisons is a well researched look at various poisons from a scientific viewpoint. His personal descriptions of inhaling henbane smoke are of particular interest to the student of the poison path.

The Witches' Ointment: The Secret History of Psychedelic Magic - Thomas Hatsis

Hatsis is a green writer who could use an editor for this edition that has a rather self-published feel. But it is otherwise an insightful look at Mediterranean cultural use of plants in magic. Heavy focus on the Roman and Greek origins of said plant use and their connection to later witchcraft practices.

The Witch's Garden - Harold Hansen

Hansen's little volume is a useful introduction to the various plants associated with the practice of witchcraft. Short concise chapters on individual plants with a nice mix of folklore, history and botany. A good place to start if one is already lost.