Strictly Business

The routine they had didn't change the following two weeks. They only could see on weekends or those days when James organised everything and could spend a night or two in London with her. Although he was determined to change that, especially now that Rose was officially his fiancée. Maybe she proposed to him, but he did what was expected for a man to do and now she wore a beautiful diamond ring on her finger. Something that relatives and friends celebrated.

A mailman left in the apartment Rose and Annie still shared the letter that was going to change everything for her. Although it didn't seem at the time.

"Oh, well! FUCK ME!"

Her voice woke up her best friend who was still in bed and went to see what happened, not before covering her head with a pillow. Rose maybe was an early bird but Annushka wasn't and still needed an hour or two to feel ready to face the world, but apparently that wasn't one of those days.

"What's happening?" she asked rubbing her eyes and dragging her feet to the living room. She stole the cup of tea Rose had in front of her.

"What news do you want first? The bad or the worst?"

"Oh shit… it's too early for this! Give me the bad first."

"Lord Evert is dead," Rose said "I'm not going to say that was unexpected considering his health these last months but fuck. I needed the money, Annie!"

"Needed? You still work there!"

"Those are the very bad news: Mommy boy fired me. That fucker of Lawrence Evert. He never liked the idea that his father allowed me to work in their office after— what happened."

Three years ago.

Rose began to work temporarily in Pebblebrock a year ago. The place seemed to be part of a book. Beautiful gardens surrounding an enormous manor in middle of a private estate with none around except nature. It was the home of the Everts. An aristocratic family owner of mines for two generations and so rich that not even them knew how much money they had. The head of the family was a man around 75 years old named Hugo who was married to lady Mildred. They had one son: Lawrence.

Rose hated Lawrence as soon as she saw him. At his 40, he was an unmarried man who went to parties almost every night but she had leart to remain in silence. For months nothing happened until Rose found him once molesting one of the maids who was even younger than she was and not caring about the consequences, she stepped in.

"We're busy here," he said "enjoying."

But Rose didn't move. The girl, still in his arms, was sobbing and her clothes were torn. Rose stared at him until he let the girl go.

"Wait for me in your bedroom, Katie."

Katherine passed by her holding her dress as her tears ran down her cheeks.

"You're fired," he said with hate.

"It's fair. But she's coming with me. She's fifteen. She's a young girl! You– I saw pieces of shit like you before, you're all the same. Unmarried at your age, Lord Evert? Some things don't need explanation."

"Do you want to be my wife? Be the new Lady Evert? You're a bit old, but I can take you," he said at her. Old, when she was only 18.

Rose grimaced and stepped back "Rather dead."

"Better find a new place to work in. Your days in Pebblebrock are over, sweetheart," Lawrence said and lit a cigarette. There was an arrogant smile in his face that only increased her disgust.

"So are Katie's days here."

"Who are you and why you dare to speak to me like that? Don't you know who I am? You're a servant. I'm the fourth generation of lords, don't you dare to speak to me again."

A theatrical bow was all Lawrence got from Rose before she left the room to go to see Katie first and then his father. Katie was crying holding her pillow when Rose entered. She helped her to fix her dress and hair, too. Katherine was a sweet girl with pretty blue eyes and black hair who was already there when Rose started to work for the family. She got her job there because her old mother worked there before her although, according to her words, the woman never wanted her daughter to be there and apparently, she was right. Rose promised to get back to her as soon as possible, she recommended the girl to lock the door.

Lord Hugo was a kind man that Rose estimated. It was hard to understand why a man like him married a woman like Mildred Evert who Rose despised even more than her son. Where Mildred had a very racist attitudes, Lord Hugo was quite open to everyone and Rose had seen several friends from other cultures and races during the evening parties he organised, parties that Lawrence tried to avoid and his mother used to spend most of the time on a sofa, annoying everyone including her husband. Their marriage seemed to be one of those arranged marriages between two rich families, otherwise it was hard to explain why they could be together.

Most of the time Lady Evert was in her chambers and her husband in his office in central London or in his favourite room facing the gardens and reading some book. Sometimes listening to the radio.

Rose liked him since one evening he heard her insulting his son in Yiddish and that made him giggle. Rose felt embarrassed because thought none could understand her, she thought it could cause her some troubles. It wasn't the case. Even when he was a bit rusty Lord Hugo explained to her that she understood pretty well because had a friend in Russia who was Jewish and taught him a bit about the language. Maybe his son and wife didn't agree with it, and it showed in their manners, but Lord Evert appreciated people working for him and it wasn't rare to see him being kind to them.

That day was the last Rose worked in Pebblebrock and the same happened to Katherine. Lord Evert found a place for her in the house of a friend of his and Rose started to work for him in London in the office he had there.

Working in London allowed her to be closed to her family and Annie, sadly those were the days when James went to Oxford and months later was when Rose knew he had started a relationship with Anya.

"Oh, to be young and with a broken heart," lord Hugo had said, when after waiting patiently for an answer Rose confessed what had happened. "Like everything in this life, this too will pass, Miss Rose. Even if you don't think so. Even if you think this is the end, it's not. Put that rage you have inside you right now somewhere else and do something good about it."

Not longer after and while in Oxford James started to regret his choices, Rose had her first suffragette meeting. Then added her name to the list of Mrs. Pankhurst had and also began to work with her. Rose's heart still hurt and the resentment towards James and his girl was going to be with her for the following three years but hearing Lord Evert that day, for sure helped her to cope with the pain in her soul.

Now.

During those years, Lawrence Evert was a constant presence in his father's office and didn't waste his time to make her feel uncomfortable but if he didn't try anything it was because his lord father was always looking at him.

At the age of 21, Rose was already old for Lawrence's preferences so he didn't bother her anymore, even less when months ago he saw James waiting for her outside the building and something in the young man made Lawrence reconsider his options.

Last two weeks the office was closed due Lord Evert's health. A friend of his said that was going to be reopened once Hugo felt better but that never happened. Last thing Rose knew when wrote a letter to her boss was that he felt a pain in his chest. She still had that last letter he wrote to her. There he wished her the best with James once the man knew about their engagement.

His death didn't take her unprepared but still hurt. Rose learnt to appreciate that old man who was too kind to have a son like Lawrence and a wife like Mildred Evert.

Lawrence himself, now as head of his house, finally fired her as always wanted to do. But his happiness didn't last long.

While Rose already resigned bought a newspaper to try to find a new job and while James travelled back to London to be with her, police irrupt into Pebblebrock looking for him. For Lawrence Evert. Only the servants heared Mildred's screams while police took her beloved Lawrie with them.

In two days, Lawrence Evert was going to be hung.

Well that is good news. Tho I wonder what the fucker did this time. I remember you saying Lawrie-Lawrie was going to be even worse, and I can totally see that. Poor Katie. And poor Rose, too. At least she found an ally in Lord Hugo. I’m sad for his death, he truly seemed like a nice man. Such a shame Lawrence took after his mother.

Anyway, poor Rose is unemployed, but something tells me she will have Pebblebrock soon🤭

There was no other explanation for what Rose did except she was bored and missed James.

Days were finally warmer, spring was everywhere and then, luckily, summer break was going to allow James be out of Oxford for three months and those was something she was waiting for. Finally having the chance to spend time with him without worrying about his work. True that only an hour and a half separate them, but when they craved the company of the other, that distance was a lot.

Annie saw her friend putting some clothes in a hand bag she had at the same time she walked back and forth around their place. Stuart, the cream coloured cat, also was looking at her from the safety of the old bookshelf.

"What the hell are you doing if I can ask?"

"I'm going to see James. I miss him."

"Isn't he working? Are you going to the university?"

"Yes, he is and yes, I am."

"Are you nuts?"

"I thought that was obvious, Ivanova," she said and her friend rolled her eyes. 'I'm fine, Annie! I promise. I just miss him. Will you behave in my absence?"

"Will you?"

"What do you think?"

"Go but promise me you're going to be okay! I don't want to know you're in jail."

"I'm not going to be in jail, Annie. Not without you, at least."

"That's all I needed to hear," she replied and hugged her. "Have fun, but take care. And if he hurts you, I can cut his balls."

"He knows," Rose said reciprocating her hug. "I'll be here tomorrow morning."

Rose kissed her cheek and pet Stuart's head before leaving to the train station.

---

"Professor Thorne," a student called him while he was walking through the corridor with some books in his hands. James stopped to listen to him.

"Yes, Mr. Brown?"

"I was wondering if you can give me more time to finish the assignment. I had some personal issues and I had a hard time finding extra time to do this."

"What kind of personal issues?" James knew the answer and that's why he was asking. The fact that he was only four years older than his students didn't mean he was going to ignore their misbehaving. He wasn't there to be their friend, after all. Nicholas Brown and some of his mates had been escaping from the university to go to some pubs, resulting in waking up late and some serious hangovers.

The boy looked at the floor and swallowed "personal issues, professor."

"Yes, I can imagine that. The answer is no, Mr. Brown. I want to see the assignment on my desktop as expected in two days."

James kept walking, hearing how the boy insulted him, but this time he preferred to ignore it.

"I told you I saw a girl!" James heard now at two other students standing on the stairs. "She was here! Outside, but here!"

"Aye, Marius, you're hallucinating again. You need a girl so you think you saw one. This weekend I'm going to get you one."

"I told you I saw a girl, fuckin' idiot! She had brown hair!"

"Sure. I believe you!" the other student said, playfully pushing his friend against the wall. While they were going downstairs, James still heard the other talking about that girl.

And it happened that the boy wasn't the only one. Soon the rumours that a girl was in Oxford run quickly among students and some professors but none really saw her. James didn't even care, it seemed to be a joke that someone started and others believed.

---

Fucking cold.

Rose overestimated the warmth weather and didn't get a coat. Hiding in a bush, she crossed her arms, trying to warm her hands.

It happened that was true there was a girl in Oxford and the girl was her. Rose was used to fit in small spaces, so when found a little separation between walls where she could trespass, she just did it. The last months she heard James talking so much about his workplace that she could imagine it perfectly in her mind. Although she underestimated the size of Oxford. Yet, there was a tree that she recognised and fitted James' description of it 'The red flowers' during spring he had said. While she was sneaking around the university, didn't see another tree with red flowers so Rose assumed it was that one. Hopefully it was. The second window near it, was the bedroom James had and to Rose's joy the candles were lit. She just needed to wait until night finally come.

The sound of the crickets filled whole Oxford and darkness was covering almost every corner of the ancient institution. Rose finally considered safe to leave the bushes. She stood up behind his window and studied the surroundings. The vines climbing the wall seemed to be strong enough to support her weight or she hoped so. She was light and numerous days during past summers when was a kid, she and Samuel climbed the trees near her Bubbe's house to pick up apples. It wasn't something she hadn't done before. The difference was she was 20, not seven years old and that wasn't a tree but a vertical wall. One wrong step and…

But Rose was ready to defeat gravity just to see James.

---

He rubbed his eyes with his hands and stretched out his back. James was tired but hadn't finished yet to correct the exams his students had the previous day. He rested his head on the pile of papers when heard a noise coming from his window.

At first, he thought it was the wind. Then he heard it again and it was clear it wasn't the wind. The third time he stood up and went to see but it was too dark to see something. Maybe was so tired that his mind was playing tricks on him.

Then, he clearly heard his name.

"James? James, it's me! come on! Open the damn window!"

His fingers didn't act as fast as he wanted when he finally opened it. There, hugging the vines with all her strength was Rose looking at him several centimetres down the window.

"What the… what the hell are you doing there?"

"If you help me to get in, I'll be grateful forever."

James leaned down and grabbed her by her arms and easily helped her to enter into his room. "Are you okay?" he asked, checking her body to confirm she was indeed fine. "Rose? Rosie? What are you doing here, love?"

"I missed you. I couldn't wait to see you. I came to see you. I've been hiding in the bushes I don't know how many hours. I recognised your bedroom for what you told me and here I am."

There's a girl in Oxford. She has brown hair.

"It's you!" he said, amused "you're the girl they saw! The students saw you! Oh, my sneaky girl. And you climbed the vines? That's risky! You'd have fallen!"

"But I didn't. I just wanted to see you, love. Well, maybe not just see you."

"I fucking love you," he said, leaning towards her to kiss her. Finally after all those hours, Rose at last could get what she wanted. "I love you," he repeated, taking her in his arms and laying her down on bed. It was Thursday and last time they had seen each other was on Monday that same week.

"I love you, too," she said, helping him to take off his sweater and shirt. Her corset and petticoat, along with the stockings ended near the fireplace that wasn't on. James held her with an arm and used his free hand to caress her back. "Are you going to be on trouble because of this?" She asked.

"I don't think so but I don't care, sweetheart. I'll manage it. I missed you, too."

There was something she wanted to tell him, but didn't dare. Rose closed her eyes and allowed herself to feel James, because that was the reason she had put herself in danger going there and climbing a vertical wall: because she missed him dearly.

Both were still learning to understand the other without words but James already knew that. When her hands were on his cheeks or hair and not his back or shoulders, it was because she was trying to find some kind of extra comfort. Trying to get him closer so that what he did.

"I'm here, Rosie. Look, I'm here," he said and she nodded. "Are you okay?" Rose nodded again and James slowed his pace to increase the pleasure. "We're going to find a way to spend more time together, love. Is that what's bothering you?"

She felt stupid. She was making love with the love of her life but instead of feeling happy (although she was) she was in the verge of tears. "Yes," Rose managed to say and the lump in her throat felt bigger. "I'm sorry."

"No, don't be. I give you my word, Róisín, we're going to be together."

She was now resting in his arms with her head on his chest. James had one of his legs on hers, pushing her closer to him. "I can travel every day to London. We could spend the nights together, I can rent a place for us so we don't bother my brother or Annie."

"I don't want you to be exhausted even more, ketzele."

"I'm exhausted anyway, Róisín. I don't mind traveling to London and spend the nights with you. I can correct exams or works while I'm in the train or during the free hours I have here, because I'm already used to it. And honestly, Róisín, I need a place of my own. I can't keep living here like when I was a student. I want something called home and I want to live with you."

"I want that, too."

"Do you?" he asked, smiling at her.

"Yes," Rose replied kissing him. "I wanted to tell you that but I didn't want to make you feel pressured to do it."

"Rosie, you could never. If you can ask me to marry you tomorrow and I'll say yes. You're the one, I told you that."

The weight on her shoulders suddenly disappeared and she felt better. Rose knew Anya made him feel uncomfortable and numerous times insisted on getting married. The last thing Rose wanted was to repeat the story for him, even if living with him was all she wanted.

"I don't make the same mistake twice, sweetheart," he kept saying. "This time we're going to be together, no matter what."

---

A surprisingly cheerful James went to the kitchens next morning before the sunrise and asked for a cup of tea and a plate of biscuits and sandwiches. He said he was going to have breakfast in his bedroom that morning. It wasn't uncommon for professors to ask that, what surprised the kitchen workers was the smile in his face so early in the morning. Apparently professor Thorne had a pleasant night.

While James went to ask a breakfast for him, although it was for her, Rose dressed up and took a little look at the place he had. A beautiful bookshelf made of mahogany was near the door and several books and papers perfectly organised were there. A wooden box with several fountain pens and ink decorated with a J carved on its front was near a pile of exams. But what really caught her attention was a camera and several pictures he had in a basket. Photos showing Oxford from different angles same as different classrooms and even the library. There were also pictures of a church, statues and numerous images showing just people in different situations: from a solitary boy reading a book to a group of friends laughing.

The door opened when she had one of the photos in her hands. Rose looked at James and a smile appeared in her face.

"Did you take these?"

"Ehm—yes."

"Jamie, I didn't know you were a photographer."

"I'm not a photographer. It's just a stupid hobby I have. They aren't that good, it's something that helps me when I feel anxious," he said leaving the breakfast on the table he had.

"They aren't good? James, I don't think you're aware of your talent. These are amazing photos! All of them!"

"Do you think?"

"I'm going tell you something, ketzele, if you weren't a professor then you could be an amazing photographer because you have talent. You're good."

"I'm going to believe your words."

"Do it. When you came here you said you want me to be proud of you and you know what, Jamie? I am. I'm very proud of the man you are and you achieved it alone. It's something I wanted to tell you."

"I don't know what to say, except thank you. I love you with my whole life, Rosie. I'm proud of you, too."

Rose snorted "There's nothing to be proud of me. I'm in the same place I was three years ago."

"You didn't give up and that's something to be proud of."

"That's such a stupid thing. You graduated, you're a professor now and god knows what life have prepared for you. I'm still cleaning dust, James."

"For now. You said it: God knows what life have prepared for you."

"I crave for something bigger, to do something for society. I crave for changing the world… but we live in a world doesn't made for women, ketzele, but I appreciate your support and the breakfast you got me. I'm starving."

"I have your back, Rose, doesn't matter what happens," he said kissing her hair. "And you're welcome."

It was still quiet when Rose was ready to leave his bedroom and return to London, despite they didn't want to. He had promised to go to London in two days and stay there the whole weekend as it was already a routine. There was only a way to go out of the bedroom and it was the same way she get it: using the vines. This time she already knew where to put her feet.

"I love you" he said one last time, "just be careful okay?"

"I will."

If you can ask me to marry you tomorrow and I'll say yes.

Rose was half way down when his words appeared in her mind again. It'd be a madness, unless…

This time the few students that were outside, some smoking, some enjoying the cool air or running but all of them stopped what they were doing because the rumours about a girl in Oxford were true. Not just were a girl in a man's land but this young woman was standing down a window with a big smile on her face. The students didn't dare to approach her and some still thought she wasn't real. Until she spoke. She shouted, actually.

"James! James!" she called few times until he opened the window and peeked out. He was surprised not just she was still there, but that she didn't care that students saw her.

"Rosie? Wh—"

"You told me something last night! Remember? I hope you didn't say it just because you wanted to comfort me but in any case I'm going to play my cards. So I'm going to ask. James Andrew Thorne, will you marry me?"

Some students around gasped and immediately looked at their professor whose eyes were on his partner, he was also smiling. The girl that entered in Oxford not just existed but the owner of her heart was someone who they knew quite well. Or they thought that. The tranquil and quiet professor Thorne had a girl who, against all stereotypes they knew, she just proposed to him.

"Yes," he said and the boys around her cheered. Rose's smile was bigger than ever. Some men that probably were there to guard the university were coming towards her and Rose saw them through the corner of her eyes. Nothing that hadn't happened before.

"See, ketzele, I'd like to stay and kiss you" she said, "but they're coming for me although they won't catch me. Do you? Do you really want to marry me?"

"Of course, love. Together as we should be."

From the window, James saw how his future wife blew him a kiss and yelled a last "I love you" before, giggling, running away from the men the same way she ran away from police.

Oxford now knew that one of the professors was going to get married and a bunch of students, now the centre of attention, repeated the story of that brown haired girl who that morning spring proposed to professor Thorne.

Soon, professor Coldwell.

Tommy's boots thudded across the weathered floorboards, avoiding the picture on the wall he feared he was coming to resemble too closely. He stuffed his bruised knuckles into his jacket, turning his pocketknife over in his hand absently. Then he barreled out the front door to get a jump on the Kimber boys lying in wait.

It had never been in Tommy's nature to be violent, but his father always demanded it, deriving twisted pleasure in pushing his boy to fight back. "If they strike once, you just hit 'em twice as hard," the ruthless patriarch would say, a glimmer of light escaping the dark abyss of his eyes. It was the same sickening look of satisfaction that came over him when he was butchering a deer or watching their mother cower in fear of his ringed hand.

Tommy's senior year of high school was spent waiting for the day he'd escape, the same as his brother Arthur had done two years before when he enlisted in the Army. "M not gonna die in this fucking house," Tommy told his siblings and he meant it. It didn't matter that his father had been in prison for four years, sentenced to lethal injection. They all expected Arthur Sr. to walk through the door any time, having made a pact with the DA or the devil.

In the end, he never did, but somehow the scandal left in his wake was worse. Girls in town weren't allowed to spend time with the Shelby boys. The fevered murmurs rose whenever Aunt Pol brought them to church. "The man beat his wife to death. You're a fool to think it isn't in their blood too!" Then the choir would sing a heartfelt tune about forgiveness, but all Tommy ever heard was "God loves you, but not enough to save you."

Jared found them near an hour later in the new suite they gave them. Rose went to the balcony and closed the door behind her, letting the brothers talk alone. She didn't want to say it in front of him because if anything James needed her support, but Rose was sure she was going to have nightmares with Anya blowing up her head. It was too hard to ignore, to forget.

One moment Anya was there on her feet, aiming at James and the other on the floor with blood around her. Rose leaned over the balcony and threw up. The bile burnt her throat and the effort filled her eyes with tears. When she finished, she rested her back on the wall, letting the cold air hit her face. Of course she wanted Anya away from James, it'd be hypocritical to say the opposite but Rose didn't want her to die. Not like that, at least.

Bang.

Rose remembered the scene and how the policeman that tried to stop Anya, fell off on his back looking incredulous at the body that still had the eyes open. The blood splashing everywhere and Anya's arm falling slowly on the carpet after she was already dead. Rose hid her head in her hands. Suddenly was tired despite the stress and wanted to be in bed for at least a whole day.

Jared approached her after talking to James, Rose was sitting on the floor, with her knees on her chest.

"How's he?"

"Hard to say," Jared replied. "He needs time to understand what happened. How are you?"

"I'll be fine but a person killed herself in front of my fucking eyes! I came here to spend some nice time with your brother but instead…"

"I don't even know what you are going through, Rose, but I can understand the shock and same as my brother you need time. I told James that the best is to leave the hotel but he said it's your decision. If you want my opinion, Rose, just leave this place. Come home, James needs you there with him."

"Under the same roof?" she asked and Jared chuckled.

"You don't want me to believe that you and James came to the Ritz just to talk, do you? Under the same roof, Rose. We know eachother well, it's just until things get better for him. Until he can back to work."

Rose nodded. Leaving the Ritz seemed to be the best idea, they needed privacy away from the guests, hotel workers and probably the press. She didn't care about people gossiping, but them having their eyes on James was something he never felt comfortable with and right now that was the last thing he needed. She decided to listen to Jared and accepted his invitation to stay with him.

---

There was a bedroom prepared in Jared's home when they arrived. His maid helped to arrange it for them and so had prepared some food in case the newcomers wanted something to eat, but they didn't. Not in that moment at least.

"Do you want me to tell Annie, Rose?"

"It'd be nice, but not tonight. She's sleeping now and Mrs. Smith won't let you in. We're fine and I don't want to keep talking about it. Tomorrow I will."

"I'm going to visit her tomorrow morning, then," he said and Rose nodded. "Do you want to drink something?" Jared asked this time addressing his brother.

"Not tea."

"I'd never offer you tea. Change your clothes and make yourself comfortable. Do you want something, Rose?"

"No, I just want to sleep if that's fine with you, Jamie."

"Of course, love. Just rest."

Jared's manor was in silence and nor James, nor Rose knew how comforting it was be until they settled in. No policemen, no manager talking to them with excessive sympathy and no strangers around them like flies.

James sat down in bed and let out a sigh. "I'm confused," he admitted to her. She rested her head on his shoulder and he put his arms around her.

"It's normal, James. What the hell, it's the perfect reaction I'd be worried if this didn't affect you."

"Do you know what she told me the day I broke up with her? She told me I was going to regret it."

"Do you?"

James shook his head "No." There was certain anger in his voice and his body was tense. His back too straight, his shoulders up and his eyes staring at the opposite wall. "I'd never regret leaving her to be with you. The only thing I regret is meeting her because that moment my life began to be miserable again. I don't care if she's fucking dead!"

"James…"

"No, you don't understand. She made my life tortuous, I became something I didn't want to be. The numerous times I had to fight against myself to control the voice in my head. No, Rosie— you don't know what I lived. It's my fault too, but let me be mad at her! I'm so furious. I'm so angry! I hate her! I hate her!"

"It's not your fault, ketzele. You liked her, you fall in love with her. I'm sorry if she failed you as sweetheart but you can't blame you for that."

"No, but fuck. Let me be angry, because it's what I feel right now! I'm mad! I'd like to punch someone without consequences! I'd like to pick the first asshole I see and smash his head against a wall."

"That's not going to fix the problems, James."

"No, but it's going to make me feel better," he looked at her and put a hand on her knee, squishing it softly "I'm not going to do it, Rosie. I'm going to drink whatever Jared has to offer to me and I'll be back here with you. I love you."

"I love you, too. Take your time."

He didn't come back until much later. Probably a bit drunk and smelling like tobacco. She heard and felt him because despite being tired, Rose was awake. Except for some minutes, she couldn't sleep as she wanted to. He laid down next to her and kissed her shoulder. James was cold so the warmth of her body was more than welcome.

It took her few seconds after he returned, to lay on her back. That was a message that James understood very clearly and didn't waste time to settle himself on top of her.

It seemed their first time happened long ago, in another life, even when was just few hours earlier. This time, however, was different. Rose and James kissed in ways that didn't happen before. They needed to feel the other because they were lucky to be together. Because he was close to die, if it wasn't because fate made Rose open the door in the right moment. Because what happened none but them could understand.

"You saved me," he said, pressing his crotch against her. "And not just tonight, you always did."

"I was lucky tonight. I don't know what— I don't know what she felt for you, Jamie, but I was so close to lose you that it made me feel sick. I don't want to live without you, I can tolerate if you're with someone else. But not a world where you don't exist."

"I'm not going to be with someone else ever again. It's you, it's only you," he replied, kissing her. "I love you. I was scared, too— I am."

"Me too," she admitted.

Because the trauma his father created, James learnt to not cry but as he penetrated her, Rose could have sworn he had tears in his eyes and she felt her eyes burning, too.

"Be as rough as you want to be," she said when he started moving.

"I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't and I'm not made of crystal. I need you, too."

"If I hurt you, just tell me and I will stop," James asked and she nodded.

She hugged his hips with her legs and James began to thrust her fast and deep. Every movement was filled with love but also desperation. Rose entangled her fingers in his hair, pushing him closer to her because all that closeness wasn't enough. James put an arm behind her back and brought her to him, too.

It was when she sat on him, that they allowed themselves to relax in arms of the other. Others "I love you" filled the gap between their moans.

"Faster," she pleaded, hugging him by his neck and shoulders.

His hands pushed her hips down and the quicker pace made them, almost scream with pleasure.

"Come inside me," she managed to say, feeling her throat drying, and he obeyed. He felt her pussy clutching around his dick and the immediate pleasure of feeling his seed being released. Both were sweating but it didn't matter to them. They remained together, feeling the other and smiling for the first time since the incident.

Anya tried to separate them but her suicide caused the opposite effect. She pushed them together, forever.

Rose cupped his face with her hands and kissed him. James reciprocated and didn't pull out, holding her very closed to him.

"I can't have babies," she said to him. "I discovered it by chance, which for sure were good news back then but I'm not sure now."

"Shit, Rosie, I didn't know."

"Of course you didn't. Only Annie and my mother know. I didn't care because I never thought you—. I just wanted babies with you but I thought I wasn't going to see you again. I feel you needed to know it even when I'm terrified you can leave me."

"Leave you? I wouldn't do that! I'm not going to do that. Listen, I can't either because I made a choice two years ago and got a vasectomy. I didn't want to have babies with Anya and I knew she wanted one or more. I refused and she accepted it only for few weeks before pushing me again. I didn't know how long I had before she announced that was pregnant so I acted before it was too late. I don't regret it, even less now that you told me this. It's just you and me, Rosie."

"Maybe in another life we can have a little one."

"Maybe in another life, Róisín," he said, playing with a hair lock.

"I'm sorry you were pushed to make that decision."

"Don't be, love, it was for the best."

It was around 4am in what it seemed the longest day of their lives, when cuddling up with the other, finally both of them could sleep.

Nor Jared nor his maid saw them until very late in the morning when both of them woke up and it was the same the days that followed. Jared went to a friend's house and left his to them to enjoy their first days together alone doing all they wanted to do.

In and out of bed they began to know eachother under a new light. Being friends was very different from being a couple. In his mind was still the trauma of his failed relationship and James was afraid that something similar could happen to Rose. He quickly apologized for minimal mistakes or if he felt that she could be offended for something he said or did. Rose had to sit down with him and remind him that she wasn't Anya. Even when Rose was a jealous person, she wasn't going to act irrationally, and let alone was going to be physically violent.

"And I expect the same," she said. Of course she knew James wasn't violent, but it was a reminder that she didn't like to be controlled and she was the owner of her life and decisions. James knew that, even when needed to relearn some things considering that the years he spent with Anya were very different that the ones that were about to come with Rose.

They went to Anya's burial because James wanted to show his respects to her parents with whom he shared a lot of moments but it was an unpleasant situation. Charlotte Martin started to yell at James when she saw him. Her mother blamed him for what her daughter did, but James didn't respond to her provocations. The woman was clearly distressed after losing her only child. It was her husband and father of Anya who stopped her. Arthur Martin was far from being the self centered and stoic man James knew. Now he seemed older and defeated, yet, he was kind to him. Mr. Martin apologized for his wife's behaviour and wished James a good life. They were going to America for some time, he said. James wished him the best, too. Soon after that he walked away from the Martins and never saw them again.

---

It was Monday when James was finally ready to go back to Oxford to teach again. Two weeks had passed since he left the university and were two weeks that he wasn't going to forget ever.

At the train station, he had his suitcase near his legs and Rose in his arms.

"I'm going back in a couple of days," he promised "I need to fix my things and put in order my duties again but once I organise everything, I'll ride the first train back to you. An hour and a half isn't a lot."

"It's not," she admitted "but I'm going to miss you. I get used to you, to have you at all hours and I'm going to miss your presence in bed."

"Me too, sweetheart. But I promise, promise to come back as soon as I can. Believe me."

"I do."

"This time I'm not going to be an idiot."

"It's good to know," she chuckled. "This time I'm going to reply to your letters, doesn't matter what you write… if you do."

"I will."

The sound of the train announced it departure and after one last kiss, they separate. "I love you," they said to eachother.

James got in and Rose stayed there, seeing the train leave the station. Both were sad but there was a peace inside them that they never felt before and in James' case he also felt free. Free to finally be happy as he always wanted to be.

As he promised, he wrote to her and less than a week later, when had a free afternoon, went back to London to spend time with her. It was a routine they both get used to and soon they get used to it. Saturday after midday and all Sunday belonged to them now.

Time passed and before they realised, Anya's suicide was part of a blurry bad dream. Same as happened when she was alive, her parents ignored her and soon her gravestone became one of those covered by grass and weeds.

James never visited her.

---

One last time was all Anya asked James. Once last night together to say goodbye but he had rejected her and she wasn't used to that. Anya always managed to do whatever she wanted to him, she only needed to cry a little and play her role as victim to have him in her bed again. James was her first love, the first man who got under her skin and she loved him with passion. His rejection felt like he was stabbing her heart.

Her parents gave her all she wanted, except their time. When was a little girl, Anya could count with her fingers the times she saw her mother Charlotte. Charlotte Martin, née Wilson, was the wife of Arthur Martin an ambassador who spent his time travelling across the world with her at his side. They loved their daughter, they really loved Anya, but didn't have time for her. Her governess was the one who educated her and to compensate their absence, Anya got all the wanted from them. A horse, a new diamond necklace, dresses made of Chinese silk… and when she grew up that didn't change. That's how she got her manor in Oxford and how fate guided her to James.

While the relationship lasted was perfect. He was everything and gave her the attention, she never had. She was his muse, James was blinded by her and Anya considered herself the luckiest girl on Earth. But it didn't last. In less than a year, heaven became hell. The nights making love transformed into a battle of dominance trying to fix problems that didn't have solution. Then began the aggressiveness. Most of times verbal, but sometimes also physical. James never hurt her, but Anya couldn't say the same. Yet, he remained at her side.

In the Ritz, Anya crossed her legs and let out a sigh. It wasn't midnight yet. Her mind was still remembering their lives. Despite things weren't nice anymore, they remained together although living apart and seeing the other only on weekends. James was always studying or so he said. She wasn't allowed to be in Oxford and James never bother to invite her, even when at the beginning he said he was going to do it. He didn't smile at her anymore and sex when not rough after some fight, then was boring. Like a couple who was married for a long time and love was already in the past. The difference was they were twenty-one and they had been together for only three years. Anya didn't expect a marriage proposal, she knew he didn't want that and it was fine with her. And the pregnancy she wanted to get so she could have him forever, never happened either.

Then Mr. Walsh died and James returned to London. In just few days the life Anya had for three years vanished in the air. James forgot completely about her, humiliated her and went into the arms of another woman. One that Anya hated because she believed James never looked at her the way he looked at Rose. It was hard to disguise they weren't in love, no when even the slightest touch made them smile. She had been following them the whole evening and jealousy clouded her mind. Rose had no right.

James was going to be hers or anyone's else.

---

In the suite, James had Rose in her arms. She was sleeping and he was contemplating her, thinking if the night could be more perfect. It was too perfect, in fact and in the back of his mind something was telling him to be aware of this. James settled in bed, trying to ignore his fears.

Anya had corrupted the inner peace he managed to build during his adolescence. The only time James lost control over himself was when was sixteen and fought another boy a night he was drunk and mad at his father. Rose was there, it was her who prevented him to worsen the situation. James heard his inner demons that night and the result was almost disfigure the others boy's face just because he dared to said something to Rose. The blood in his hands was an image that James promised himself never was going to happen again, he didn't want to let his demons win but numerous times when was with Anya he was closed to lose control, especially because she encouraged him to defend her. Thankfully he never listened to her but was a constant battle between him and her that exhausted him to the point that even with free time, he opted to not see Anya. James was scared of what he could do if he listened to her. He was scared of her, too.

Everyone knew Rose could be explosive and had little to nothing of patience but James knew her enough to know she could never try to start a fight on purpose just to put him in the line of fire. Anya could. There were times when James only felt in peace once he was back in his bedroom in Oxford. But looking back, he wasn't totally aware of that and most of times he thought he was being ungrateful and selfish.

How many secrets did he hide from her? A lot. Including his vasectomy. Anya never knew what he did that summer week when James went to Dublin just to see his doctor. He was so afraid of impregnating her, to have a child with her, that preferred not to have kids ever. He never wanted them, anyway but he was aware it was a drastic decision caused by his partner. When finally had sex with her after the medical procedure, the relief was bigger than he wanted to admit.

Now it meant he could never put a baby in Rose and he knew very well she loved children. James regretted his decision to go to that party where he met Anya instead of going to London to see her. How different his life could have been. Still haunted him the silence from Rose once he told her about Anya. Never received a letter from Rose again and it was something that hurt, but never really blame her. The feelings that even back then they had for the other were so intense that it was a surprise she wasn't still mad at him. Rose was very resentful, maybe James could consider himself lucky.

He stuck his body to hers, spooning her, and silencing his mind closed his eyes and tried to sleep too.

James never really knew how many hours passed but he heard his name like was coming from the inside of a cave. He was still asleep and it took him some time to understand what was happening.

"Jaaamesss! Jaaamesss!"

Rose woke up first and lift her head from the pillow to look at the bedroom door. He felt her moving and opened his eyes, too.

"What's that?" Rose asked.

His name sounded clearer now and his heart started to race when he recognised the voice.

"It's her. It's Anya."

"What? Are you sure? What's she doing here?"

"I'm sure but I don't know what she's doing here. Listen, Róisín, stay here! Did you hear? Stay here, love!"

"Jamie… no! What are you doing!"

"I'm going to talk to her! Stay here, Rosie. Please, please…"

Rose nodded but did it by instinct, not because she agreed with him. James kissed her forehead and put a robe on before opening the door.

A lot of guests were in the hallway when James appeared. Even some workers, wearing their uniforms, were there. And police. James didn't understand why police was there until he saw the gun in Anya's hand. She was shaking but smiled when looked at him. Then aimed at him.

"I'm here, honey," she said. "Aren't you happy to see me?"

No, please, no.

James put his arms up. "Anya, put that thing down."

"I'm not going to do that, honey, if I do you're going to be free because they're going to catch me and that ain't gonna happen, James."

"Anya, calm down and we can talk."

"Where's your new sweetheart? Where's Rose? Roseee!"

"Leave her out of this, Anya."

"No. I won't," she said and aimed her gun at a policeman that tried to walk towards her "if you come closer, I'm going to shoot you! I know how!" she warned.

Inside the bedroom, Rose had her ear on the door listening to a what was happening outside and hearing her name plus the mention of a gun made her heart race faster.

"Anya," said James "what do you want with all this! What are you trying to prove!"

"That you're a fucker! We were together! We were happy!"

"No, we weren't! Anya, it's time to accept that it's over. Go and find a man who can make you as happy as you deserve. I'm not that man."

"It's you or no one else," she said, crying. Her eyeliner was smudged and her nose was red, still had a paranoid smile on her face. "Don't you understand that I love you?"

"I chose someone else, Anya."

"Oh, I know. I know. Where's she? The bitch that stole you from me."

"She didn't do that. I loved her since we were kids, Anya. Please, listen, I can offer you my friendship. I can help you to get…"

Anya snorted, "Friendship? And help me to get what? A man?"

"Whatever you need, Anya. Just put that damn thing down!"

"You're what I need. Honey, my love, James. I forgive you! I forgive you for what you did. You don't love her, you don't! You're confused and I forgive you for that."

Anya walked to him, always aiming the gun at him and her fingers on the trigger. "I love you, James."

"Miss," said an officer in his 40s, trying to catch her attention.

Now not one but two policemen where in the hall and James didn't know that dozens of others were in the streets preventing people to get to in. Guests in that same floor understood that curiosity wasn't worth if their lives were in danger and locked in their rooms again.

"Miss," said the man again. "Miss, this is not the way."

"IT'S THE ONLY WAY!" she yelled. "It's the only fucking way. Tell me you love me, James. Tell me those words again, honey."

But James remained in silence. Internally he wanted that to be a bad dream. He cursed his inner voice who told him everything was too perfect. He knew Anya wasn't going to accept his new relationship, but he didn't imagine that. Jared was right: she was crazy.

"James…"

"Anya, let me go. I already apologise. I'm sorry if I wasn't the man you wanted or needed, but you're going to find one."

"I'm not. This is over, honey. We're going to die together. It's written, James."

"You're unwell, Anya. Let me help you. My brother c—"

"No. This is the end, James. Together as always, don't you want that? We're going to spend the eternity together as it should be."

He didn't answer. No, he didn't want that. He wanted to be free forever, free to live the life he wanted to live with Rose. Stay inside, he pleaded in silence thinking of her.

Rose was crying, hearing those words. She felt useless being there but didn't want to ruin or put him in danger even more. Why did everything have to be so complicated? All they wanted was to be together for once.

Anya had her eyes widened open. Her beautiful black dress had one of the ribbons untied but she didn't care about the appearance anymore. She was sure what she was going to do: that was her last day on Earth and James was coming with her.

"If you say that you love me, you and I we're going to leave the hotel and live happily forever, honey. I need to hear it."

James shook his head. "I don't love you. I stopped doing it long ago. Kill me, Anya, but I don't love you. It's not you who I love."

"I accept it. I do."

Rose rested her head on the door and sobbed. She needed to do something, she could never forgive if something happened to him.

Two things happened simultaneously: Rose opened the door and Anya pulled the trigger. The bullet that should have killed James, impacted the door. The sound made him duck by instinct and fell on the floor. Fear paralyzed Rose for a second before she too, ducked. One of the policemen took advantage of the situation to jump on Anya, but she was faster and pulled the trigger one last time. This time in her mouth and the bullet killed her instantly. Rose covered her mouth when saw Anya's blood splashing around. It took both policemen some seconds to react, they too, were surprised by the drastic ending. And maybe it seemed several minutes passed, maybe hours, but few seconds passed between Rose opened the door and the moment Anya died.

Then, she heard him for the first time since everything started. She crawled to him who was still on the floor. The door blocked his vision so he couldn't see how his ex killed herself. For a moment thought she had hurt Rose, until she came to him.

"Rosie, Rosie!" he exclaimed taking her in his arms. Both hugged eachother and kissed in a messy way. It was a kiss short and desperate. A kiss that showed relief. Both touched the other trying to see if they had any kind of wound but both were fine. As fine as they could be after what happened.

"No," she said, stopping him when he tried to get up to see the corpse. "Don't look at her. You don't need to see her like that. Jamie, look at me. It won't make you any good."

James with his eyes full of tears, shook his head "it's my fault."

"Of course not, sweetheart. It's not," he tried to get up once more, but she stopped once again. "James, no."

"I ruined everything, don't you see? I lost every woman I care about. My mother, Anya… I lost you."

"You're wrong. Your mother and Anya, both made their choices. And you didn't lose me and you won't. I'm here, as always. I love you, you know?"

Rose embraced him and he hid his face on her shoulder. She felt his arms tightening around her waist and felt him sobbing, too. She let him.

"If I lose you…"

"Jamie, you won't. I'm not going to leave you."

A new policeman appeared, this one seemed to be the chief. He cleared his throat and both looked at him.

"Are you okay?" he asked and both nodded "I'm going to need a name and a way to communicate with her family. We are taking her to the morgue."

"Her name is— was Anya Marie Martin" James said. "Her parents live in Dublin but has an aunt living in Brighton. I guess she can come sooner than her parents. I'm sorry, I'm so tired I can't remember her name. I think it's Gretel. Or Greta. Also surnamed Martin."

"Thank you. Are you sure you don't need to see a doctor?"

"No. I'm fine. I need to see my brother, Jared Walsh. I want to see him."

"I'll send my men to look for him, Mr. Thorne," the man put his notebook and pen back in his pocket and tipped his hat. "The hotel manager said he was going to give you another suite. Right now they're trying to calm the rest of the guests who are demanding explanations, but none here is guilty of anything, Mr. Thorne. These things just happen."

When Rose and James finally stood up, Anya wasn't there anymore and they knew that what the chief said was true: she was in her way to the morgue.

Jared woke up in middle of the night and saw light in the kitchen. There was only one person awake besides him and that was James.

His brother had an ashtray in front of him with several cigarettes that evidently had been smoking for the last couple of hours. If people didn't know them, as often happened, then they could have thought that he was mourning their father but the reason he was there wasn't the old Mr. Walsh.

"Tea?"

James shook his head, looking at his oldest brother.

"Coffee?" insisted Jared.

"Only if it's Irish."

"Brother, that's the only coffee I know."

The eldest Walsh sat down at the kitchen table minutes later and placed the hot drink in front of him. He had added extra cream, something that James appreciated.

"So, are you going to tell me, finally what happened this evening?"

"Rose. I kissed her. We kissed," James admitted.

"Well, fucking finally! Is it over then? You and the psychopath you said you loved?"

"Don't call her like that. She's not a psychopath."

"She's not sane either and your purple nose is the proof of it. What are you going to do? Last time I checked bigamy was forbidden."

James let the sweet cream melt in his mouth before replying "I'm afraid of what Anya could do if I leave her. She said multiple times that you know… killed herself."

"And, are you going to be unhappy the rest of your already miserable life because Anya is manipulating you? James, I see people on daily basis that say that to make their partners feel guilty and most of the times they succeed. Both women and men equally and you're part of the statistics. I know how they operate. I study people like her, you fuck her but I can read Anya like a book and I don't like what I see at all. You don't love her anymore, why are you still there?"

"I don't know."

Jared had seen his younger brother go from a complete blindness to the deception he had now. "Do you want my opinion, James? Go and take Rose to a date. Make a reservation at a nice restaurant and have the night you want to have with her, do not think about Anya anymore."

"Easy to say."

"Do you want to be with Rosie or not?"

"Of course I want, Jared! But you don't know the things Anya is capable of! I do."

"She doesn't have to know," Jared said leaning back on his chair. "At least not now."

James leaned on his chair and lightened another cigarette, then nodded "maybe you're right."

---

"I'm looking for the most beautiful girl in whole England," James said after midday, the following day, when saw her coming back to her place. He had been waiting for her for almost an hour when he finally saw her. He put a white rose in front of her and kissed her cheek.

"The most beautiful woman in whole England?"

"Maybe England is too small. I can name all countries I visited and still I couldn't find someone like you."

"You're such a poet, Thorne. Come," Rose put a hand on his shoulder and he leaned forward to kiss her. He held her tenderly when they pulled apart "I wasn't expecting to see you so soon," she admitted.

"I couldn't wait, I wanted to see you. I didn't sleep."

"Me neither," Rose said, resting her body against his. "You didn't talk to her, did you?"

"I'm on it, love. I wanted to see you first, I wanted to tell you something. I made a reservation for us this weekend. You, me and the Ritz."

"Holy moly! The Ritz? Are you taking me to a dinner date there?"

"I— I booked a suit, too."

"Oh."

"Jesus, Rosie, Should I have ask you first? I'm sorry! I can cancel the suit, we can have just the dinner! I didn't want to overstep. I thought —"

"You thought right. I wasn't expecting to hear what you said, it was just that. I love the idea of spending the weekend with you," she said and he kissed her again.

"I want to do the right thing for once, Rosie. I love you, you know?"

"I do now. I love you too, but you already knew it."

"But you never told me. I want to say a lot of things, my little hummingbird, but I prefer to wait until our date. Saturday at noon I'll be here waiting for you. Tell Annie she won't see you until Monday."

"I can't wait," Rose replied.

---

The tension in the hotel bedroom in London where Anya was staying after Mr. Walsh's funeral, was so tense that could be cut with a knife. James finally told her that was finishing the relationship because he couldn't stand it anymore. Anya was now smoking by the balcony, half of her robe opened and her hair undone.

"You're leaving me, just like that. For that little bitch, it's because of her, isn't it? The fucking Rose."

"Don't you dare to call her like that! This relationship was over long ago, Anya."

"You don't love me anymore."

"No, I don't. Anya, are you kidding me? You almost broke my nose! How can you think I do love you!"

"You said her name while you were fucking me! YOU SON OF A BITCH! YOU DESERVE WORSE THAN THAT! You humiliated me! And I don't want to know if you thought about her before! I really don't want to know!" Anya looked at him waiting for some kind of confirmation but James remained in silence. "Honey, we can go through this like we did it before," she said tossing the cigarette and walking to him. She tried to hug him but James didn't let her.

"No, we can't. This is the end, Anya. I loved you, I did, but I can't pretend I feel the same and I really don't want to stay here. I'm sorry for hurting you, I'm sorry for saying her name that wasn't correct and I apologize, but Anya this is over."

"Three years together, James! You can't!"

"Yes, I can! I can and I will! You're going to find a man that can appreciate you the way I didn't. We're not compatible. We never were, I guess."

"Never?! NEVER? You egoistic, piece of shit. I gave you everything! Everything I had! And you pay me with this dishonour! You're leaving me because now you're obsessed with a new pussy. FUCK YOU!"

"You gave me everything including headaches. You aren't a little angel, Anya. Don't believe what your mother tells you. I'm leaving, Anya, I wish you a good life."

"James! James! Honey! Please, don't leave! Can we have a last time? For the good days. I know what you like I can suck y—"

"No. I'm not going to do it," James grabbed her wrists when she tried to hug him and both tussling. Anya was stronger than it seemed and it took James some minutes before could force her to sit down on bed. She was crying out loud.

"She'll never satisfy you. NEVER! That fucking bitch!!"

"Goodbye, Anya."

He was reaching the door when he heard her laughing hysterically. "You're going to regret this forever, James." He turned around and looked at her. She had a maniac smile on her face. "You're going to regret it, bastard," she said and lit up a new cigarette.

---

Saturday didn't come as quick as they wished but finally it came.

"What if I don't like him?" Rose had asked Annie while she was helping her to do the baggage where she put the dresses and personal stuff she was going to wear that weekend. Rose was sure that Anya and James shared passionate moments in bed that she wasn't sure she could give him the same. She wasn't a virgin anymore but wasn't that experienced either and the last thing she wanted was to disappoint him somehow.

But Annie just chuckled "What are you talking about? As if James isn't crazy for you already."

"I'm talking about sex, Annie."

"You're going to be fine, Rosie. He loves you, you love him. You two waited this long to be together, don't worry about it. Do you really think you can disappoint him when James prepared all this for you?"

"I don't know. He—"

"He's going to love you even more. On Monday your going to tell me how it went and I'm going to tell you 'I told you so.'"

"You always say that."

"I wonder why," Annie closed Rose's baggage and gave it to her. "Have fun with him and don't think a lot about it."

There wasn't a carriage waiting for her when she opened the front door but one of the few cars London had. It was dark blue and Rose saw James leaning against it. He smiled when saw her.

"You're full of surprises, Jamie."

"Do you like it?"

"It's beautiful! The Everts have one, but this one is just perfect. It's newer!"

"It is. Sadly, it belongs to Jared but he let me use it for this special occasion. I'm considering buying one for me, I need it."

"Do you?"

"Yes, to take you everywhere," he said, putting her belongings in the car and then his arms around her waist. "I broke up with her the same day I told you. It's just you and me, Rosie."

"Am I dreaming?"

"No, love, it's true," James replied and kissed her.

---

The Ritz screamed elegance and opulence. Rose was sure the Everts where used to stay in places like these but it was the first time for her and she smiled at the thought of Lady Mildred Evert if she knew where Rose was now.

The suit James booked faced the city and from there both could see the magnificence of London but from there, the sound of the city was barely audible making everything more perfect.

Across the years, Rose had made dresses for herself that they could pass for those dresses that ladies could buy in any store in Europe. The blue and gold she was wearing in that moment, was one of those and he didn't waste time to compliment her.

"I'm going to believe your words," she said.

"You better do."

James and Rose had lunch in the exclusive restaurant the hotel had and it was the first time he was seen in public with someone that wasn't Anya Martin. He found a group of men he knew and to avoid further questions, he introduced her as his future wife. They were young and kind and made Rose feel very welcomed. James never left her side, maybe it was just for the appearances but she couldn't deny she liked that. In fact, Rose was flattered and squished his arm softly the first time the word wife escaped from his lips.

But Rose knew not all of people were like those young and cheerful men. There were the others, the ones that could make her feel inferior and that evening, after they returned from a very nice walk through that sophisticated part of London, it came in form of a 35 year-old man named Alphonse Hoffman, son of an important banker, owner of several pubs in whole England.

He joined them after he heard Rose talking about politics to one of James' acquaintances, the same one they had seen during lunch. But unlike the young man, this one was rude and made James clench his jaw. Women shouldn't be allowed to be there, he had said. Women shouldn't protest to vote because it was something for men. James reacted before Rose could do it, and probably was for good.

James lightened up a cigarette and watched the man through the smoke. He smirked and put a hand on Hoffman's shoulder rudely and took him away from Rose and his friend.

"Aren't you the Lord Hoffman? The owner of a private club for gentlemen?"

"Yes, Mr. Thorne. Did you hear of me?"

"Of course I did. You know, Lord Hoffman. My birth name is Walsh, I'm James Andrew Walsh although now I'm using my mother's maiden name. I prefer it but my brother never changed it. He's still Jared Christopher Walsh. I think he mentioned you a couple of times. You and him in his bedroom and not exactly talking about medicine. There are no secrets between Jared and me, so yes, Hoffman, I heard of you."

"How dare you! Your brother! He…! I know your brother! But those are defamations! I'm a gentleman!"

"And as such you are going to apologise to miss Coldwell. Don't you ever talk to her like that again."

Alphonse Hoffman did apologise and even when she had to bit her tongue, especially because James knew those people, Rose accepted it. James put a hand on the man's shoulder again "Good boy, Hoffman, my brother will compensate you but if you ever say something about my future wife, I'm going to assure that everyone around you know your secret."

"They won't believe you."

"Lord Hoffman, are you willing to risk everything?"

James offered Rose his arm and neither of them did see Jared's lover the rest of the night. It wasn't usual to see James mad but this was one of those occasions and she really liked the attitude he showed. Rose wasn't used to be protected and found certain comfort on it.

"You're really pampering me," Rose said, resting her head on his arm as both walked through the exclusive club like any other couple there. "But it's not necessary. You know that, right?"

"No, but I want to. I want to give you a good life, Róisín, please let me."

Despite all her political beliefs, Rose had to admit that she liked that place, she liked what James was doing for her and the pretty things he had prepared including their weekend in one of the most expensive hotels in the world. Even liked the way they addressed to her, even if they didn't know she was an employee, too but in that moment she was the future Mrs. Thorne (as James introduced her) and that, too filled her with something she didn't feel before.

"I will let you. Even if your food is ridiculously small for such price."

"It's the reason they make every small, so you keep ordering more food. More dishes, more money."

"I'm going to take you to a kosher restaurant, Jamie. My brother, Annie and I went there and you'll see what eating means. Not as fancy as the Ritz but I assure you it's worth."

"I don't doubt it, darling, your mother and bubbe prepared me the meals I never tasted before when we were young. Any time you want, I'm in. What about your brother and Annie, they…?"

"No, no! Annie could scare Samuel," Rose replied, laughing. "She's single and he's dating s girl he met in a meeting. A good girl, Jewish too."

"Your brother is doing well, I see."

"Indeed. He didn't finish college yet, but a lawyer hired him to help with papers so he's already part of a company. When not studying, he's working. He's our little jewel."

"And you're mine."

"I'm going to get used to your attentions very quickly, Jamie."

"That's the idea, love," James stopped and taking her hand in his, he kissed it. "I'm sorry you had to wait for me all these years. I wasted our time."

Rose guided him to one of the expensive and luxurious armchairs the Ritz had and when he sat down she did it in top of him, resting her head on his shoulder "Did you love her?" she asked.

"Rosie…"

"I need to know."

"I did," he finally confessed. "I lost my head, too. It was like I was high and it wasn't enough spending time with her. I needed to be with her at all hours. It wasn't nice and now I realise that, but I did love her."

"Then you didn't waste your time, James. If you loved someone then it's not a waste of time, I think."

"But you weren't happy."

"No. I discovered I have something awful inside me. Bitterness and envy aren't nice. I did things I profoundly regret like sleeping with men I never saw again. I had thoughts that my mother could be ashamed of and you, too."

"No, I don't. I know what jealousy is. I never felt it with Anya, ever, but when you appeared in my mind and I imagined you with someone else I went crazy. Hypocritically, because I was with her. You should've been mine."

"That was very sincere," she said, raising sn eyebrow.

"You were very sincere, too."

"Because I'm not fond of hypocrisy, James. I'm not going to tell you it didn't affect me when it did. Nor I'm not going to say I wasn't jealous when I was. I am."

"My jealous Róisín. I'm not going to give you any reason to be jealous now, I promise. I'm only yours," James said seriously before kissing her. "I love you."

"Show me," Rose said looking at him, kissing him briefly, "show me you're mine."

Had they been alone, James probably could have taken her on the sofa next to the armchair they were on, but there was almost a hundred people around. Besides, if they were there it was because James wanted to give her the night he thought she deserved.

It was hard to control themselves but once they reached the main hall and the elevator operator opened the door for them, they had to because the place wasn't appropriate. 10th floors later, once the man stopped the lift and after James gave him a tip, both could kiss again.

The suite was awaiting for them since they left before dinner. The difference was that now they could use the bed as they wanted to. He closed the door with his foot as he was holding her in his arms, kissing her.

"I don't want to disappoint you," she said, once only her undergarment was between her and James. His suit, her dress and corset were somewhere on the floor. There was only that thin fabric covering her body and suddenly she was completely conscious about was going to happen.

"You could never disappoint me, love."

He was on top of her, and his weight along with pleasure was giving her a comfort she never experienced before.

"Will you be gentle?"

"All gentle you want me to be," James said and slid down the last piece of clothing, reveling her skin and body for the first time to his eyes. "You're beautiful. So beautiful. And mine. Only mine."

She opened her mouth to say something but all came out was a moan, when she felt his lips on her. Rose only had two lovers before him and either of them made her feel the way James was doing and any doubts about herself disappeared after hearing him praising her.

"I love you," he said between kisses, "I always did. I'm sorry again for hurting you. I'm sorry, Róisín."

When he joined his body with hers, for them the world stopped to exist. Everything disappeared but them.

He wrapped his arms around her when they finished and she hid her face on his neck. "I'm completely in love with you," Rose said. "It's so strong that it scares me."

"I feel the same. You're the one, Rosie. You're the one."

While they exchanged more kisses and more sweet words, while they tried to understand that cloud of happiness they were in, Anya who had been following James, sat down on the main hall the Ritz had and ordered a glass of champagne. She had been there all the time, looking at them from a safe distance. He was too busy paying attention to Rose to see her and his surroundings, Rose barely could recognise her and in any case, she too was lost in James' eyes to see anything else.

Anya lightened up a cigarette. Soon everything was going to be over.

Nah just kidding, cause what do you mean she’s at the Ritz???😫😫 girl? What are u planning?

She’s out of her mind I swear. But at least James took the blindfold off his eyes and saw her for what she is.

He organised such a beautiful little holiday, I’m melting🥹 it was so sweet, from the gesture, to the way he referred to her as his future wife. And the way he stood up for her >>>>>>>. James, the man you are.