❦Rose x James❦

The English bulldog was sleeping in her bed, snoring, as Rose had said, and didn't even noticed when James returned from the rooftop to her flat again about two hours later after his ex girlfriend went to sleep.

There was a dim light illuminating the living room that clearly she left on to help him to see where he was walking. After going to the kitchen for a glass of water, he stopped for a moment to look at her sleeping in her sofa apparently in peace. He looked her. He had forgotten how peaceful Rose looked when she was sleeping and he couldn't help but smile. That was her usual position to sleep for her. Her arm always curled against her chest, one of her knees slightly off the bed, or the sofa in this case, and her curly hair scattered over the pillow. It was then when he realised that he missed her. Really missed her.

Her presence in bed always calmed him. Even after an exhausting day working, coming back to their apartment had a positive impact on him including the times they didn't have sex. It was the tranquility of knowing that Rose was there. That he could hug her and forget all his problems and it was something he didn't have now. She was there, but he couldn't have her. So close but so far...

He caressed her cheek with his knuckles before turning the light down and going to her bedroom. Over the bed he found some towels and an old t-shirt of his that clearly she brought with her to NYC and that was the reason he couldn't find it anywhere in London.

Grabbing the towels, he went to her bathroom to take a well deserved shower. He needed it after a very long trip since he left his apartment less than 24 hours ago, although it felt a century. The hot water over his body, it felt good. But he couldn't calm his mind. James promised himself that he was going to be strong, that he was going to be completely sincere about the pain she caused on him but reality hit him harder. Rose wasn't the woman he knew and his best friend was right when he said to him that was worried about her. If depression made him abandon his daily routine and spend every second of his free time sleeping or watching tv, then depression hit her as bad as it did with him.

The sunshine entering through the window woke him up the next morning. He rolled in bed groaning and covered his head with the pillow but a crying sound made him look open his eyes. It wasn't his ex, but her dog who was looking at him with her big eyes trying to communicate with him.

"Morning, CP," he said, still sleepy, petting her big head.

It wasn't her dog barking, her alarm or the sound of the streets what made Rose wake up that morning but the smell of coffee. She smelled it before she opened her eyes. It was him, of course.

"James?" she asked from her couch.

"Hey. I was going to wake you up, I prepared the breakfast so you can eat before going to work. I'm sorry I invaded your kitchen but I wanted to be useful since I'm living here for free," he said placing the mug on table as she walked to there.

"You don't have to, you know? You're my guest. But thanks, Jamie. And you don't need my permission to use the things here."

"Thanks! Last night I used your bathroom. I really needed it. I appreciate that, Rose."

"The shirt, James," she started to say but his half smile made her stop talking "...I'm sorry. I didn't want to take it from you."

"It's okay, it's just a t-shirt and you wore it more than me but it was good that you had it because I didn't have any change of clothes... until I get my things back, of course."

"If they're still there," she said eating one of the toasts he prepared. "If I were you, I will leave all the things here. Except few cash. Including identification, credit cards, etc."

"It's a really bad place, isn't it?" he asked and she nodded. "I'm going to leave my stuff here, don't worry."

"And then? Did you decide the places you want to visit?"

"No. I'm a still tired, if you don't mind, I'm going to stay here."

"If that's what you want, James, then you can rest as much as you can. CP sometimes jumps on the bed but, she just wants to be friends."

"Who do you think woke me up this morning?"

"Oh no! I'm sorry! She's adorable but sometimes it's a bit too clingy."

"Don't apologise. I think she's a sweetheart. Do you have to go to work today?"

— — —

"Yes. It's a very important day. I've been working on this dress for months and it's almost ready today is the day. The payment is really good, but it's not that, you know? I'm happy. It's for an important woman living here. There's a private event but the press will be there and it's a good opportunity for me to be seen through my work. Even if I'm not there."

"That sounds good, Rose."

She thanked him for his words and also the breakfast, she couldn't remember when was the last time she had a breakfast like that one.

While James went to the hotel to pick up his baggage, paid for the day and then returned to Rose's apartment; she went to the studio to finally finishing the last details of the dress she was sewing. For the last eight weeks that was her main project and Rose was quite proud of it. Without knowing a lot of details about the future owner of the dress, she worked day and night on it and the times Rose saw the woman to adjust measurements and talk about the little details, she was kind towards her.

Focus on that particular dress, helped her to avoid negative feelings for a long time and she was going to miss that.

"It's done," Rose informed about three hours later. The dress was now completely finished and stored in a box ready to be sent and to be wore that same night.

"Congratulations, Ms. Coldwell," the owner of the company said picking up the box and putting it over her desk. "I'll send you the check this week," the woman said.

"I thought it was going to be immediately after finishing the dress. That was part of the contract."

"Was it?" the old woman said "well, Ms. Coldwell that changed a bit now. I had a complicated week, honey. I think it's fair if you wait a bit a longer for your payment. It will be done but now go on."

"What?!"

"You heard me, Coldwell. Can't you be a bit more considerate of myself?"

Rose pressed her lips together. She controlled herself about giving an opinion and left the office before her boss could say another thing. She tried to calm herself before returning home. That was the most annoying woman she ever met and quite pathetic.

Things started to get worse when at night, while she was sitting on the couch with her laptop over her legs and Rose was watching the arrival of the different people, some of them celebrities, to this particular event she saw the woman wearing a dress but not the one she made. She didn't see it until that moment.

- - - - -

"That dress is stunning," the reporter commented while Rose was still trying to understand what was happening.

"It was made by the owner of Attire magazine herself," she replied, smiling.

Made by...

Rose felt was her stomach turn and the unmistakable symptoms of a panic attack. She couldn't breathe and her heart was racing absolutely crazy.

"THAT BITCH!! SHE AND HER FUCKING SOUL. FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!"

In the kitchen, James was about to finish the dishes when he heard her and seconds later she entered there looking for something in one of the cabinets.

"What happened?"

"It happens, Jamie, that life is a shit. That happens! So, considering it's a shit and I don't give a crap. I decided to celebrate because I don't care anymore, James." He saw her grabbing two bottles of what seemed to be tequila "These are my new best friends tonight, Jamie. And we're going to have fun. Oh yes! You're more than welcome to join us."

"Rose..."

"No, don't. Tonight is about having fun! WE'RE HAVING FUN, JAMES! Because if I don't laugh, if I don't lose my conscience then I'm going to cry and I'm tired of crying."

James doubted about leaving her alone to deal with whatever happened to her. She didn't tell him what caused that explosion in her, but assumed it had to be with work.

When he finally climbed the stairs and went to the rooftop he saw drinking directly from the bottle with her legs crossed and even when she said she didn't want to cry, that was exactly what she was doing.

"Rose… what happened?"

"My life happened. It's a series of unfortunate events one after the other. And it's shit… it's all shit," she replied letting another sip of tequila burnt her throat.

She offered him the other bottle and he accepted. His life wasn't the best either so, why not?

"For the bad decisions, Jamie," she said raising her bottle "for the fuck up decisions ruining our lives."

Between hiccups and tears, she finally said to him what happened and how her dress, the one she spent several months working on it, ended in nothing, because for everyone the dress never existed and probably she wasn't going to receive a dollar for her work either.

"I'm sorry," James said. "Rose, maybe if you talk to HR, maybe if…"

"No, it's not going to work this is her company, there's no one above her. I swear it's not the worst she did. Once took credit for something that wasn't not. I should've known… I'm fucking stupid."

"There's no way you could've known, Rose. The opportunity was good… Still is."

"I'm not sure anymore."

The playlist sounding in his phone while they were drinking could have meant that they were partying but it was the opposite. But music was in fact, helping them to forget their problems, for the night at least. It was a pathetic and sad way to deal with it, but not like they care.

"Give me, I want to try," she demanded when saw him lightening another cigarette.

"No, shit, Rose. I'm not going to let you smoke, this shit is addictive and I'm not going to let you fall for it."

"And what are you going to do, eh? I'm a fucking adult, James, and my life is completely ruined now. Let me try this shit."

The man looked at her. She was barefoot apparently not feeling the cold ground and her messy hair falling over her shoulders, her puffy eyes gave her the appearance of someone who was about to collapse.

"This isn't going to fix the problems, but here you go," he said offering her the one he was smoking.

The fact that she started to cough after trying two or three times, to the point he had to pat her back, made James laugh.

"This isn't for me," she said trying to breathe again. "I can't. You should quit."

"Yeah, I know, I'm on it, believe me."

Maybe she didn't try to smoke again but that night the bottle of tequila was her best friend and James accompanied her.

"FUCK YOU!" she yelled later, at top of her lungs near the cornice "FUCK YOU, YOU BIG SHIT."

"We can kill her. Revenge is a good to kill someone," James added changing his opinion about the situation. He was holding her hand. Intoxicated as he was, he was still aware that his ex was walking near the precipice.

"That's what she deserves," Rose said, finally accepting James' invitation to return to the safest zone of the rooftop. "She deserves to die, but she deserves to die in the most pathetic way possible. I don't know how. Piece of shit."

It wasn't until much later, when the adrenaline dropped and the fresh air started to clean her mind, that she calmed down. Both were resting on the stairs watching the buildings around them. The empty bottles were somewhere in the rooftop as a reminder of their attempt to forget everything.

"I'm freezing. Why the fuck am I barefoot?"

"You threw your shoes somewhere," he chuckled "I don't know why but come here." James picked her, sitting her between his legs and embracing her. "You should go to sleep."

"I can't walk and you neither. Besides, let me enjoy this, Jamie because I don't know how much it'll last" she replied snuggling against him.

James opened his mouth to talk but she did it first.

"I miss Patrick. His little fluffy face"

"Do you?" he asked, smirking "He's fine. He's the same as ever."

"It's sad to know he doesn't miss me" she said raising her head from his chest, to look at him. "Probably forgot me."

"I talked to him about you. A lot. He couldn't forget you."

"Did you?" she asked and he nodded. "I miss everything, Jamie. Fuck… how could I be so stupid to ruin the life we had? For nothing! Will you ever forgive me?"

"Rose, I don't think I'm in conditions to answer this tonight. But I'm happy to be here right now even if I feel like shit."

"I'm happy, too. I feel safe, you make me feel safe," she confessed closing her eyes "No one hugged me like this in a very long time… Actually, you know? it was you, you were the last who hugged me like this, Jamie. You were my last everything. My last kiss, my last warm hug and the last time someone touched me, too."

He couldn't reply, that was the confirmation that all the things he imagined she was doing weren't real. Her life there wasn't so different from the one he was living in London.

"I'm sorry, Jamie," she said stroking his cheek.

For a moment, both of them stared at each other and even James leaned towards her and their lips almost touched. But he stopped.

"I want to do this but not under the influence of alcohol," he said.

Rose just nodded.

"Then you're right and it's time to sleep," she simply said.

.

"I swear I cannot move," Rose, plopped down on the sofa when they returned to her apartment and covered her eyes with her arm. "My world is spinning."

"You were never famous for holding tequila," he said, giggling. "Tomorrow you'll feel awful but hope you can sleep well."

"Gonna try, ketzele," she said, closing her eyes and immediately falling asleep.

Part of his brain realised the way she called him. Ketzele was a word he didn't hear in a very long time, but he was also drunk and probably just imagined it. It was something he wanted to hear really bad, so the most probably thing was that he just imagined it. He went to her bedroom and didn't waste energy in removing his clothes, he just laid down and following her steps, he also fall asleep.

The sound of a siren woke him up hours later. It was still dark. His head hurt and he felt his mouth dry but it wasn't just that. James opened his eyes completely when he felt the unmistakable presence of Rose next to him. She was curled up against his chest with her head resting on his shoulder.

Shit. When did that happen, if the last thing he remembered was her sleeping on the sofa? But there she was, next to him again. He took his time to admire her. The shape of her nose, her eyelashes, the way her mouth was slightly open and how was breathing calmly…

There was a time when he woke her up kissing her neck and smiling against her skin. Both were early birds and it was almost a norm for them to start their day with the sunrise, so the playful mornings were a daily routine that both shared every day. But he couldn't do that now.

The memories of her crying the last night because her boss stole sabotaged her dress was still in his head. Same as the subsequent hug he gave her.

"No one hugged me like this in a very long time… Actually it was you, you were the last, Jamie. You were my last everything. My last kiss, my last warm hug and the last time someone touched me, too."

All the things he wanted to say when he put a feet in New York three days ago, vanished in the air. He just couldn't do it. Still sleeping, she cuddled up against his chest. James put an arm around her like in the old times and allowed himself to enjoy that.