There was a brief pause before they were jumping and screaming for joy, holding each other tight.

“This calls for a celebrrrration!”, Robin exclaimed, rolling the r. She dragged Steve out of the bathroom and into the kitchen, then popped a bottle of sparkling cider. Just the thing for this occasion.

Steve clinked his glass with hers, beaming.

“So”, she started after taking a sip. “How are you gonna tell the daddy?”

“The who?”

“The sire of your pup must be alerted, your highness”, Robin snorted.

“....Shit.”

“Ahh, slutty Steve strikes again.”

Steve leaned against the fridge, glass in hand. “Don’t judge me. I’m supposed to be enjoying my after glow.” Steve had been trying to get pregnant without really trying. He just simply slept around with no birth control. Which led him to a bit of a dilemma.

“You can’t just not tell the guy. Even if he’s a bum, he should have the choice of knowing”, Robin said.

“Yeah that’s not really the issue”, Steve downed his cider and sighed. “I don’t…know who the father is….exactlyyyyyyyy.”

Robin swished her mouthful of sparkling juice around before swallowing. “What the fuck do you mean you don’t know? Are you really sleeping around that much that you have no idea who it is??”

“I have some idea!”, Steve said defensively, arms crossing. 

“You can’t even narrow it down to five, can you?”

“You’re just jealous I’m getting laid”, Steve said, setting his glass down and grabbing a notepad and pen from a kitchen drawer.

Robin’s eyes got wide when she saw the list he was starting. She groaned. “Please tell me it’s not Tommy’s.”

Steve tapped the pen against his lips. “No”, he crossed out Tommy’s name. “That was too long ago to be him.” Then he crossed out another name.

“Aaww, I liked Anthony”, Robin pouted.

“Yeah but he never came inside me so, that’s a no.”

“I can’t believe you actually have five people lined up for this.”

Steve smiled, feeling proud of himself. “Alright. That just leaves these three.”

“Wait”, Robin leaned over the counter to grab the notepad. “You never slept with Brad.”

Steve’s brow furrowed as he tried to remember. “It was last month, he was here and-”

“I remember I came in and you were fucking on the couch.”

“Yeah”, Steve said, his expression both confused and judgemental like Robin was spouting nonsense.

“Steve…you beautiful dunce…he was using a strap.”

…..”Ohhh. Are you su-”

“Yes.”

“But he-”

“Yes.”

Steve whistled while crossing out Brad’s name. “I almost wish he was still in the running.”

“And that just leaves…Eddie and Billy?” 

“Why did you say their names like curses?”, Steve asked.

“They are like, the worst kind of alphas.”

“They’re not the worst”, Steve said.

“Okay, live in your little world of denial”, Robin said, pouring herself another glass and then going to the living room to lounge on the couch. “One where that little nugget in your belly isn’t gonna be the spawn of a gym-rat bartender or the nerdiest man alive.”

“Billy doesn’t just go to the gym. And Eddie has non-nerdy interests.” And they were the most recent guys he slept with.

The problem now was figuring out just which one was actually the baby daddy. Steve didn’t think either of them were father figures. Neither Billy nor Eddie seemed particularly interested in child rearing. And that suited Steve just fine. He had been prepared for most of his life. Prepared to be a single mother to whatever pup he was blessed with.

And Robin was his ride or die, ready to be a doting aunt. But because of her closeness, he knew she was right. The father deserved to be told. He came over and sat down right on Robin’s legs, causing her to squawk and kick at him until her feet were fully free. He patted his stomach.

“Guess it’s time for this bean to meet daddy.” He picked up the phone from the coffee table and began to dial while Robin kicked it out of his hand. “Hey!”

“In person you goon!”

“Don’t call me a goon.”

“Okay, in person you duplicitous bitch”, Robin kicked him again.

“Hey! Precious cargo!”, he gestured to his torso. “Can I at least call them to arrange a meet up?”

“You’re really gonna have two alphas in a room and tell them that one of them pupped you up?”

“If I’m lucky, I can get them to pay for my dinner”, Steve said, picking the phone up again.