#harmungroveham

????????

Profit

Or maybe harmungroveham where it’s the classic shoujo anime set up of like the 3 dudes all competing for the one girl except Chrissy’s solution is that they should ALL kiss.

A funny thought because Chrissy’s parents, her mom specifically, is the worst. 20 something year old Chrissy having to deal with her mother constantly asking if she’s seeing anyone in the most snide tone. Like she’s amusing herself picturing her daughter with no one because she lost out on what’s his face. I don’t wanna say his name it feels like I’ll get cursed.

Or what I imagine Eddie says often when he who shall not be even thought of is brought up. Anyway.

Chrissy has weekly dinners with her parents it’s once a week, she promised her little brother, and her mother always brings up the relationship thing and brings up how her hair looks or asks about her diet, whatever, she’s just a horrible person but specifically, she likes to mention all of the people that Chrissy had been acquainted with before who have gotten married, who are having children, who have wonderful husbands or fiancé’s or partners. So Chrissy decides, because she is in her doesn’t give a shit era, to text Billy with an idea. The idea makes Billy laugh so hard he falls out of his seat. He’s in, he is so in and he wishes that he could video the moment they do this. And he does, he takes one of Eddie’s old vests, a raggedy old denim and hooks it up with the camera in the pocket. Hidden.

So Chrissy calls her parents and she tells them, directed mostly to her mother, that she’s going to bring who she’s seeing over. They make her happy, they make her feel safe, she feels fulfilled and happy and loved. She does text her brother to find himself elsewhere that day because things are gonna get awkward in that little boy ain’t stupid.

They’re gonna show up maybe 20 minutes after Chrissy is having dinner with her family, she says they’re going to be a little late. Her mother kind of looks at her and says what do you mean they and then the doorbell rings. In comes Steve Harrington, and here her mother gets a little excited because Steve, while he might have veered off the path, comes from a wealthy well to do well respected family, he’s tall and handsome and polite, and she imagines he’ll probably get some corporate job from his father because of course he will right? So he meets her family he schmoozes they love him. He sits.

And here is where Laura notices that there are two other plates out. Chrissy got the table ready who else did she invite? Now she begins to sweat. The doorbell rings again and inside comes Billy Hargrove, he throws them a hello nice to meet you and gives Chrissy a firm kiss on her lips. Steve had given her a kiss on the forehead. Chrissy tells her parents that Billy is going to college, he has a high GPA, he’s athletic and he makes her happier than she’s ever been. He and Steve make her happier than she’s ever been. Her father starts drinking and her mother’s heart starts to palpitate.

She wants to yell, outraged, but before she can the doorbell rings one final time, and Laura stares at the chair with the final empty plate and wonders who else could possibly be any worse than the bulldog that is Billy Hargrove and his whoring reputation with older women. She ought not to have wondered that.

Walking into her house, a nightmare a tall 6 foot nightmare with scraggly long hair torn up jeans a leather jacket and a cut off T-shirt showing the expanse of his belly. She sees the tattoos, piercings, she gets faint. Philip drinks just a little bit more. Steve raises a hand to wave to Eddie, Billy juts his chin in a silent what’s up, and Eddie smiles brightly and goofy, lifts Chrissy up into the air and gives her a long hard open mouth kiss which ends in him tipping her. Tipping her back and then lifting her. He kissed her like a old fashion romantic movie and it would’ve been cute had it not been Edward Munson.

Before Chrissy can say that Eddie is kind and gentle and sweet and beautiful her mother‘s face connects with the salad upon her plate. Philip puts down his glass, stares at his daughter and says I think you made your point, sweetheart.

Dinner is only a little bit awkward but they finish the meal and leave. Billy has it all on tape and they all haven’t stopped laughing from the moment they stepped out of the house. Laura Cunningham never fucks with her daughter again she learned her lesson.

“Can you tell him to stop?”

Robin hates it when Eddie wakes shows up at the apartment, hovers just outside their balcony window pulling a Salem’s Lot and if they weren’t in the part of town that was full of supes he’d had given someone a stroke by now-he almost did. Henrietta an old bridge troll is about a few hundred years old and prone to getting spooked by just about everything these days and when she saw Eddie though her own window across the street he waved and she had fallen in a scream on her behind. She reminds Robin about this daily when Robin is on her way to work. Anyway, it’s three thirty and Eddie is at her balcony…singing.

“Steve! Billy! Chrissy! GET. YOUR. MAN.”

But wait…

Shit, they aren’t home. Robin could kick herself for saying no to the invitation this months moon run but Robin can only run so far and so fast and honestly, if you’re not the one mated and dating a werewolf then is it really worth it? She hates it when Billy and Chrissy and the stupid flea ridden werewolves in Hawkins converge together and howl and hunt, it’s annoying to try and keep up and being reminded that…no no, little witch you can’t use magic you can’t use your broom.

Last month Billy had hunted them down and had tackled Chrissy into a rather large bush and when Robin had come upon that…well, lets just say that if she wasn’t a lesbian before she certainly was one after seeing Billy’s wolfed out junk and then seeing Steve dive bomb on the wolfy love fest.

‘You sure Robin? I think Nancy’s going this year.’

‘Oh yeah, because I want to see her chase after Byers…again. No thanks you guys have fun.’

She had forgotten that Eddie couldn’t go, forgot about Eddie all together. Of course he wouldn’t be permitted by the packs in Hawkins and, as it was, the werewolves and the other blood suckers were still trying to understand how Eddie had found himself mated and bedded and in love with two werewolves and a witch. Well, the witch part is more understandable, she thinks.

We do certainly get around, ha.

Theres singing, Robin can hear, singing with a bit of a slur to it like maybe Eddie’s drunk and she prays to everything that she’s wrong because a drunk Eddie is an even more annoying Eddie, a drunk Eddie is a hugger and unless you’re a beautiful woman or Steve then Robin would rather avoid hugging all together. She tries not to think about Vickie and her it’s not you it’s me, speech.

‘I wish it could work but you know, you’re going places, high places Robin.’

‘So are you!’

‘I mean literally, Robin. You’re literally always flying everywhere and you’re up so high and you can do all of these things and I just…I can’t. I’m just a squishy little normal human person. I really really like you but what happens when I start getting all wrinkled and old.’

‘I’ve told you theres a spell for that.’

‘That’s the problem I don’t want a spell I want a normal girlfriend who can grow old at the same time as me not infinitely slower.’

Vickie had hugged her and walked out of The Cheeky Whispers and Brew and hadn’t been back on Robin’s side of town since, though she did hear that Vickie was seen with some meat headed human jock who happened to very innocently get jock itch. Out of nowhere. Somehow.

‘Eh, I just sped up the process I bet the guy doesn’t even wash his ass because he thinks it’s gay.’ Steve said offhandedly as he handing Robin a root beer float.

“~if you like pina coladas~”

“Oh hell no.” Robin yanks the curtains opened so quickly that Eddie crashes into the balcony bellow. A cat screeches, a woman screams and Eddie, bashfully rises up with one hand behind his head as Robin watches him, annoyed. “Idiot.”

-

“You DRANK Vickie’s boyfriend?”

Robin stands corrected, Eddie isn’t an idiot he is a genius, a wonderful man, an excellent vampire, she says this as she tosses the blood bag into her microwave. “Did you kill him?”

“Don’t sound too concerned. I didn’t drain him I nibbled and the guy was so damn drunk off of his ass I couldn’t fly straight.” Eddie smiles dopey, still buzzed. “I don’t know how that human was able to stand up straight. Couldn’t see me for shit and thanked me for the hickey before he literally fell into a ditch.”

“Oh shit.” The timer goes off and Robin tosses the blood bag to Eddie. “You think he died?”

“I don’t kill humans so no and I’m starting to get a little,” He gestures at all of her. “bit of a murder kink out of you. Can I get a mug?”

“Do you want a mug? Steve’s not here and I wont tattle if you drink straight from the pouch.”

She does mind when he uses one of the metal straw to stab into the plastic and starts slurping up the blood like a Caprisun though. “You can keep the straw.”

“Okay.”

Chrissy: Prep - Nerd

Steve: Prep - Jock

Eddie: Goth - Nerd

Billy: Goth - Jock

It all makes so much sense now

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EXACTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU GET IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!