#train.txt

while yes dru is evil and a vampire she's still obviously very upset about what happened to her and those moments seem to be her times of lucidity, not delusion. not to mention that she's already been beaten out of the notion that she can escape angelus, she tried to as a human and it didn't work, it likely won't work now either, especially if darla sides with him. but with spike around there's someone who basically always takes her side and fights to keep angelus away from her. who is, at least, a buffer between her and her tormentor. he also takes care of her and validates her, something neither darla or angelus seem to be interested in doing at all.

i feel like people tend to intellectually remember what happened to her but forget that it you know, has long lasting consequences when say, they evaluate her behavior in late s2 when angelus comes back. like... yeah ofc she goes back to appeasing him and shit. spike's a wheelchair and she was beaten into shape to be "daddy's little girl" (gag) YEARS before she even MET spike. her abuser is back and her defender is out of commission not to mention her whole view of reality has been actively warped by the most narcissistic sleezoid around.

and all the reasons why people love spike or point to as why he's better with buffy or whatever.... dru was the one who saw those first and picked him because of those. like... it's wild to see people act like they spent a loveless century together and spike was just used the whole time when we SEE them literally in love, he states MULTIPLE times she means so much to him and we get an OUTSIDE SOURCE CONFIRM THEY HAVE "AFFECTION AND JEALOUSY FOR EACH OTHER". we have the spike we know of today because drusilla saw the hero in him and wanted him to rescue her. and ya know, he kinda did. multiple times. over a century of deep, mutual horrifying love. you only even GET spike and buffy in the same ROOM because he loved dru so much he saved her from a mob, traveled with her across a continent (maybe 2 depending on direction) and over an ocean for even a SHOT at a cure. like... cMON.

Marvel loves to fucking retcon and make shit up with her powers but one of the negative side effects of powers is that she ends up with the fragments of other people's minds in her head and that this can scramble her really badly. It's why she even joined the X-Men in the first place. Issues around this part of her powers come up again and again, there are times she literally does not know who she is, where she thinks she is literally someone else. This is EXACTLY the kind of person who NEEDS someone in their life who can take care of both mundane life shit to make sure she didn't forget to pay bills as well as be able to walk her back into her own identity. Like we SEE what happens when she DOESN'T have this during the 80s around the Australia era when Carol's memories effect Rogue and then Carol's psyche is just straight up stealing Rogue's body and no one does ANYTHING to help her. We SEE how distraught Rogue is, how muddled and scared.

And lemme make this clear it's not about shipping. By nature of the fact they are married THIS IS REMY'S JOB NOW!!!! THIS IS HIS RESPONSIBILITY!!! HE IS ROGUE'S CARER!!!!!! To say that Magneto is disqualified in the long run because she'd "depend on him too much" is just... it's not thinking it through. There's plenty of more valid reasons to say "nah" to Mags but like... his steadiness and ability to lead is NOT one of them. That's literally one of the POSITIVES of him as a partner! Especially for someone like Rogue who realistically needs a consistent person in her life to help her keep her shit together. Like one of the GOOD things about her being married to Remy is that this means she does have that consistent support now, but that also means by their logic that Remy is now her "crutch" because who is she gonna turn to when she's falling apart? Remy. Her Carer. "Oh but he's her husband it's different that's part of marriage!" it's not. You can be married to a disabled person and not be their carer, you can also be married to one and be their sole carer. The two are not synonymous, they are two separate roles but they DO tend to have overlap in a relationship like this. If you love someone with a disability, mental or physical so intense they need consistent assistance you are signing up for real work, and because you love them it's something you do willingly and probably even happily but there's plenty of disabled people with partner who are not doing it willingly or happily or at all because we frame as a society as a burden (and also because those people suck).

There is no 1 for 1 for analogy or whatever with Rogue's powers for both the physical or mental aspects but when I try to think about mental illnesses or conditions that are kinda similar, have similar effects or kind of feel spiritually similar I end up with: Dementia, Psychosis/Delusions, and DID (kinda). I'm not like, a professional or anything but these are the things I know of that have some kind of similarity or like, feel similar enough to use for a lose reference. Dementia has memory issues along with cognitive issues and personality changes — someone with a jumble of other people's brain scraps in their head is likely going to have memory issues, cognitive issues like trouble communicating or confusion/disorientation. Psychosis/Delusion because how else can you try to get into the like, thoughts/feelings/realities/etc of say, waking up convinced you're someone else and that someone has done something to "change" things and "trick" you and everyone is lying to you about it. How else do you get into the kinda unreality elements of her condition? DID is kind of the one I'm the most nebulous about because while in some ways it's the most obvious I also just — like they're different you know? Her powers and DID are fundamentally different. But it is something that gets into sharing a body and it is possible to have negative relationships with alters.

Carol's psyche first truly takes over after Rogue is molested in a Genoshan prison camp, Carol breaks her out and gets her and Wolverine to safety. But then she keeps coming out more and more and changing Rogue's living space, her clothes, even getting her hair cut. Carol even down plays the assault later when Rogue is upset after her latest takeover and is crashing out over the possibility that Carol will take over completely one day and how none of the X-Men care about that. Carol forcibly takes Rogue over while Rogue is still talking and then downplays her distress and trauma then goes shopping. Like..... this is not wholly divorced from the experience of someone with DID if perhaps you know... chock full of that fictionalized fantasy drama juice.

But all of these have in common that they kinda NEED SOMEONE be it a doctor or therapist or family member or friend who helps them keep track of things and deal with the worst parts of it or the bad episodes. Rogue has experienced dissociative amnesia, someone's probably gonna need to fill her in on what happened and make sure the bills got paid during that time. She likely needs to do consistent work, even when she's in control of her powers with telepaths to manage the psychic residue and keep it to a dull roar so she can stay coherent. Just because she can control when she takes things in doesn't mean that aspect of stuff piling up has stopped.

instead of max being vecna’d it’s billy and THAT’S how people find out about how shitty and abusive their home life is because it’s not any of the midflayer stuff (if you still wanted to have it happen bc this concept works with or without it) that puts him on the potential victims list it’s neil’s abuse.

max being borderline hysterical but trying to keep it under wraps bc she’s so terrified of potentially losing her brother. billy being basically just bitterly resigned to it because ofc this is what he gets in life. ofc this is what happens. what else would he get? billy writing letters but it’s just to like max and steve and his mom where ever she is because there’s so few people in his life who care about him and who he cares about. max and steve who’re like, his only friends frantically trying to figure out his fave song to save him. billy standing up to a manifestation of his trauma/someone trying to use it against him.