#harringham

***

When Chrissy woke up the next morning, Steve was still fast asleep. He was laying flat on his back, and she had draped herself around him with her head resting on his shoulder and her arm slung across his chest. She almost couldn’t believe that this was real. That she liked him and he liked her back. That she got to fall asleep in his arms and wake up still snuggled up to him. It felt like a dream. 

She kissed his jaw before settling back in and hugging him a little bit tighter. As she was debating about how much longer she should let him sleep before waking him up to get ready for breakfast, he stirred beside her.

“G’morning,” he mumbled before kissing the top of her head. “You been up long?”

She moved to prop herself up on his chest so she could look at him and shook her head.

“Only a couple minutes,” she told him.

“Did you sleep okay?” he asked, his hand moving to rub up and down the small of her back. “Any bad dreams?”

“No bad dreams that I can remember. Why do you ask?”

“I got up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, and when I came back, you were whimpering in your sleep. The second I was back in bed, you were reaching out for me, and you clung to me pretty tightly after you found me.”

“Oh.”

And just like that she’d managed to ruin everything. She had no memory of that happening, but it did sound like something she would do. She was always invading people’s space and putting herself where she wasn’t wanted. How many times had Jason told her that her constantly hanging off of him was annoying if he wasn’t allowed to touch her? How many times had he pushed her away because she wanted to feel just the tiniest bit of affection without him trying to force her into something she wasn’t ready for? She’d lost track after the fourth or fifth time it happened, and now the cycle was going to start again with Steve. This was just his gentle way of telling her that she made him uncomfortable and he needed his space because he didn’t want to hurt her feelings by outright telling her to move over.

Chrissy moved off of him without another thought and tried to put at least a few inches between them as she sat up in bed.

“I’m sorry,” she told him. “I can ask Nancy to always make sure our room has two beds so you can have your space. Or, I’ll just pick up an air mattress while we’re out today because that's probably easier for everyone.”

“Why would you want to do that?”

“I know I can be clingy.” She avoided looking at him as she spoke, choosing to stare at where she was now picking at the bedspread instead. “Most people find it annoying and don’t like it when I get too close. I’m pretty good at keeping my distance and asking for permission before cuddling up to someone, but I can’t help it when I’m asleep. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, so it’s probably for the best if we sleep in separate beds. You deserve your space, so I’ll do whatever I have to do to keep that from happening again.”

“Wait. Do you think I told you that because it bothered me?”

“Well, yeah. Didn't it?”

“Absolutely not. Get back over here.”

Steve gently pulled her over to lay back down with him. She was cautious at first, but she relaxed enough to rest her head on his shoulder again and let him hold her a little.

“Okay, so first of all, I didn’t tell you that for any of the reasons that are probably running through your head right now,” he started. “I told you because I was worried about you, and I wanted to make sure that you were okay. I don’t want you to think you have to keep your distance from me because that’s the last thing I’d want.”

“So, I didn’t make you uncomfortable?”

“Not even a little bit. The opposite of uncomfortable actually. It made me feel good about myself that you feel safe enough around me to seek me out for comfort even in your sleep. I thought it was cute. You were like a little koala.”

She was finally able to fully relax beside him after he said that, and she moved to cling to him again as he held her in his arms.

“So no wasting your money on an air mattress or asking Nancy for a room with two beds. As long as you’re okay sharing a bed with me, you don’t have to worry about reaching for me in your sleep. Okay?”

He punctuated his point by holding her just a little bit tighter, and she felt herself melting into his embrace.

“Okay.”

He wanted to ask her if this had anything to do with why she ran away from him when he hinted at his feelings for her the other morning, but he didn’t want to force her to talk about that. She had to bring that up on her own. He couldn’t shake the feeling that the two instances were connected though, and there was another part of him that was sure that this all had to do with her last relationship.

“In case you haven't noticed, I can be pretty clingy, too,” he told her. “Or did you forget that I was dead set on keeping you trapped in my arms the other two times we’ve shared a bed together?”

He kept his tone teasing and light. It was clear that this was something she struggled with - whether it was an extension of her uneasiness with PDA or not - and he didn't want her to think he was making fun of her when he was only trying to poke fun at himself.

“It must have slipped my mind,” she told him. “My memory is a little fuzzy. Maybe you could remind me?”

“It would be my pleasure.”

Steve made quick work of rolling them over so Chrissy was the one laying flat on her back, and he rested his head on her chest as he snaked his arms around her waist.

“Now, I know we're supposed to go get breakfast, but I'd like to request at least ten minutes of morning Chrissy cuddles before that happens. And, if you'd like to give me head scratches while those cuddles are happening, I wouldn't be opposed to that.”

“I think that could be arranged,” she said as she threaded a hand through his hair.

And really, it was the least she could do for him after he silenced yet another one of her bad thoughts. It amazed her how he always knew just what to say to calm her down and keep her from going into a full blown hate spiral. Part of her wanted to assume that it was because of how much experience he had with other girls, but there was another part of her that was certain that wasn't the case. This wasn't some rehearsed speech that he gave to just anyone. He made her feel seen in ways she'd never felt before, and because he could see her for who she really was, he could be her calm in the storm of her self-loathing. That fact both terrified and excited her, and she couldn't tell which feeling was stronger.

She didn't want to dwell on that though. She just wanted to enjoy this moment that she got to share with him, so she relaxed into his hold relishing in the little sigh of contentment he let out as she started to massage his scalp. And, because she was feeling especially nice, she gave him fifteen minutes of cuddle time instead of his requested ten.

***

After their breakfast date where Steve stayed true to his word from the day before and let Chrissy treat him, they made their way back to the hotel to meet up with Eddie and Nancy. The plan was to load up the car and get on the road to Philadelphia soon enough that they'd be there early enough to get lunch and do some exploring before dinner. And since it was only a little over three hours drive there, that was definitely doable. So, after Chrissy took the time to exchange contact information with Fred and Ethel with the intention of writing to each other once she was back home, the group set off for their next destination.

The drive itself passed mostly without incident. This time, Chrissy used her aux cord privileges to play one of Steve’s personal playlists when she realized that she’d only been catering to everyone else’s preferences, and it wasn’t fair that they hadn’t listened to any of his music yet. And maybe it was a little bit because he rewarded her with kisses whenever one of his favorite songs came on and he could safely manage it - even if Eddie complained about them being disgusting from the backseat.

It was only when they were stuck in traffic to get into the city that things got chaotic. They were in a complete standstill when someone drove past them on the shoulder, and Steve had a breakdown.

“There’s no - there’s no road there,” he said, staring out Chrissy’s window at where the car had just been. “How did - why would he - there’s no road there.”

“I think that guy broke Steve,” Eddie said from his spot in the backseat.

“Why would someone do that? And there’s those ridges on the edge. He’s just gonna go -” Steve started to click his tongue and make a thunking noise as he rotated his wrist the way the car wheels would go.

“How’s he gonna go?” Chrissy asked when he stopped.

Steve did the same thing again.

“Sorry, I didn’t quite catch that,” she told him. “One more time?”

Steve repeated the sound and motion again for only a second before he looked over and saw her attempting to look like the picture of innocence and failing to hide her shit-eating grin.

“I’m so sorry,” she said as she finally let out a laugh. “I had to. It was just so funny.”

“You think my mental anguish is funny?” he asked, punctuating his question with a poke to her side. “Me losing my mind over the insanity of other drivers is funny?”

“Maybe a little bit?” she told him. “Just the part where you imitated the way his car would sound.”

Steve gasped in mock offense and moved to repeatedly squeeze at Chrissy’s thigh directly above her knee. She squeaked before dissolving into a fit of giggles and gripping his hand to pull it away.

“No fair. You can't tickle me when I can't get you back,” she told him. 

“So you're saying it's always okay to tickle you as long as I give you an opportunity to fight back?” He quirked an eyebrow and offered up a mischievous smirk. 

“That's not what I meant, and you’re supposed to be paying attention to the road.”

“We’re in standstill traffic. I can multitask.”

“If you’re multitasking, you could kiss me instead.”

“And you think you’re deserving of kisses after making fun of me?”

“I’m always deserving of kisses actually.”

“But does that mean I deserve to vomit in the back of this car?” Eddie asked. “Get a room if you’re gonna be that sickeningly sweet.”

“But we can’t get a room,” Chrissy pouted. “We’re in standstill traffic. Don’t you want us to be happy?”

“Yeah, Eddie,” Steve teased. “Why can’t you just let us be happy?”

He leaned over and made a show of planting a sloppy kiss on Chrissy’s cheek that left her giggling at the spectacle.

“I’m going to throw myself in front of the fastest car I see the second we’re moving again,” Eddie told them. “When I was rooting for you two to kiss, I didn’t think I was going to be forced into so many nauseating situations.”

“You say that as if you weren’t even more nauseating than that when we first got together,” Nancy told him. “Cut them some slack.”

“Never. I need to run very far away from this. And not just because I’m being forced to watch my honorary sister get slobbered all over. I’ve spent way too much time trapped in the car already today. I need to break free.”

“Maybe we stop at Franklin Square Park first then?” Nancy suggested. “We can pick up lunch and head there to eat. Give you some time to run around and get out the zoomies?”

“I’m not a dog, Nancy. I don’t get the zoomies,” he pouted.

“Do you want to run around a little or not?”

“Yes. Please.”

When they’d finally made it through the traffic jam and into the city, they found a place that served cheesesteaks and then made their way over to Franklin Square Park to eat after buying their lunches. The group spread out in a grassy area to enjoy their food, and Eddie practically inhaled his the second they sat down. As soon as he finished, he turned to Chrissy.

“Airplanes?” he asked.

She gave a quick nod before wrapping up the half of her sandwich that was leftover.

“Airplanes.”

Eddie got to his feet and pulled Chrissy to get up with him. The two took off running through the playground area with their arms spread out at their sides like the wings of a plane. Steve watched them from where he was sitting, trying to ignore the slight pang of jealousy he was feeling.

“It gets easier,” Nancy told him. “Watching them interact like that, I mean.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You forget how well I know you. I know what you look like when you’re jealous.”

“I’m not jealous. At least, I don’t want to be.” And he didn’t. He had no right to try to claim all of Chrissy’s attention just because she was letting him kiss her. He shouldn’t be jealous of the bond she had with her best friend, and yet here he was wishing that he was the one she’d asked to hang upside down on the jungle gym with her.

“I was jealous, too. For the first couple months, I felt like an outsider looking in on their friendship whenever the three of us hung out. I figured it was because I thought they were dating the first time I saw them together, and for the longest time, I thought Chrissy didn't like me. I didn't realize it was because she's the shyest person I've ever met, and Eddie is maybe the only person she's ever been able to fully be her true authentic self with. And I think that's why he's so fiercely protective of her. To the extent she'll allow it, at least.”

“Yeah, he mentioned something about having to promise to stop fucking up his life on her behalf?”

“That's because he pretty much failed his first attempt at senior year for her.”

“He did what?”

“This fully stays between you and me. You can't tell either of them that I told you any of this, but Eddie told me about the heart to heart you had on the beach with Chrissy, so I know you know that her mom is just about the worst woman in the world.”

“Yeah, Mrs. Cunningham has quickly found a place in the top five of my shit list.”

“Well, until Chrissy started dating Jason, she was number one on Eddie's. I don't know the full story since Eddie and I didn't start dating until much later, but he told me he didn't want to leave her to deal with her mom alone. His grades already weren't that great, so he just stopped trying. He said that she was maybe the maddest she's ever been at him when he told her, and that's when she made him promise that while it was okay for him to worry about her, he wasn't allowed to do things that would put his life on hold for her. And that included confronting her mom or Jason about the way they treated her.

“And before you ask - because I know you, and I know you will - I don't know what Jason did to her. Even though he shares everything with me, he won't share Chrissy's secrets. That loyalty is one of the things that I love the most about him, but it still frustrates the hell out of me sometimes. She's his Robin though. They have their own little language, and if her mom would have let her get a job, I’m sure she would’ve dragged Eddie all over town to find one they could do together. Don’t get me wrong - I love that he has that with her. It’s just hard to look at them and know you’re not a part of it. Now that Chrissy and I are finally starting to become friends, that feeling is almost gone, but it really sucked at the beginning, so I get why you would be jealous.”

Steve glanced over at where Eddie and Chrissy were still doing acrobatics on the jungle gym before turning back to Nancy.

“So it gets easier?”

“Infinitely so. Stick with me, Steve. I’m a seasoned professional when it comes to dating into their friendship.”

Steve huffed out a laugh.

“Any other tips you wanna share?”

“You don't need any tips. From what I've seen, you're doing just fine on your own.”

“I just wish I knew what she was thinking the way he does. Every time she gets quiet on me, I'm afraid that I did something wrong until she lets something slip about the ways she's been hurt in the past. I've spent more time thinking about how much Jason Carver sucks in the past week than I did when I saw the guy every day.”

“You should talk to Eddie about that one. I know he won't tell you what happened between them, but he's well-versed in the art of suppressing the urge to punch Jason in the face. I think that might be partially why he's being so openly disgusted about you two kissing in front of him. He wants you both to be happy, and he knows that being all lovey dovey with each other is doing that, but he's also the one that put the pieces back together after Jason broke her. He'll never admit it out loud, but I know he's afraid of seeing her like that again, and that fear doesn't go away easily - even when he's friends with the new guy who's clearly already found a place in her heart.”

“I wouldn't hurt her. That's the last thing I'd ever want to do.”

“I know. I'm pretty sure he knows, too. You just gotta give him some time to get used to you kissing his sister.”

She leaned over to nudge him and knocked their shoulders together.

“You're a good guy, Steve. Chrissy's lucky to have you.”

“I’m pretty sure I'm the lucky one.”

Nancy didn't have time to respond before Eddie and Chrissy were running back over to them.

“Nance, there's a dragon seat on the carousel,” Eddie said as he approached them. “I need to ride it. Care to join me?”

“I'd love to.”

Nancy let Eddie pull her up and drag her off towards the carousel.

“Do you wanna ride it, too?” Steve asked Chrissy as he got to his feet.

“I'm not really a carousel kind of girl,” she told him. “But I noticed they have mini golf here, and I was thinking maybe that could be kind of fun if you'd want to go do that with me?”

“I don't know,” he said as he took her hand in his. “I'm kind of a pro when it comes to mini golf, and I wouldn't want you to feel bad when I absolutely decimate you.”

“Oh, I wouldn't mind. Maybe you could give me some pointers? Teach me how to play on the first hole so I might have a fighting chance?”

“As you wish.”

Chrissy led Steve over to the mini golf entrance, and after they’d paid for their tickets and equipment, they headed over to the first hole.

“Watch me do it first, and then I’ll help you with your stance, okay?” he said as he took his spot. He easily got the ball in on his second stroke before making his way back over to Chrissy.

“It’s a piece of cake,” he told her.

“I don’t know. Maybe you should show me how to stand?”

She was the picture of innocence, but he knew what she was really asking. This was just an excuse for him to wrap his arms around her for a moment without her having to be clingy like she feared she was that morning. He was more than happy to play along with whatever charade he needed to if it meant getting to hold her close.

He went to stand behind her before wrapping his arms around her to correct her grip on the putter. He ducked his head to press a soft kiss against her neck before resting his chin on her shoulder.

“Since when is kissing a part of mini golf?” she asked.

“It’s the most important part actually,” he told her as he kissed her neck again. “You've gotta relax to be good at this, and what better way to relax than with a few kisses?”

“You're crazy if you think kissing me like that is going to help me relax. I can't focus when you're doing that.”

“Mini golf first and then kisses?”

Chrissy nodded.

“As many kisses as you want.”

“Then I'll be kissing you forever.”

He noticed her starting to turn pink, so he kissed her blushing cheek one last time before actually helping her. He showed her how to line up her shot, and after a few practice swings, he backed up to let her play. She seemed a little uncertain on the first hole, and it took her four putts to get the ball in, but she was excited all the same.

“Wanna make this a little more fun?” she asked as they moved to the second hole.

“What did you have in mind?”

“How about a friendly wager? Loser has to buy the winner ice cream?”

“If you want to buy me ice cream, you can do it without making it a competition.”

“I wouldn't get too cocky,” she told him. “I could surprise you and win. C’mon. It'll be fun.”

“Okay, it's a bet.”

Steve got another hole in two on the second hole, and Chrissy surprised him by getting a hole in one. Part of him thought it had to be beginner’s luck, but he also thought it could be because he was an excellent teacher when he wasn't distracting her with kisses.

But then she got two more holes in one in a row, and beat him on the next hole after that. He must have looked just as confused as he felt because Chrissy giggled when she saw the look on his face.

“Did I forget to mention that my little brother absolutely loves mini golf, so I've taken him to the Hawkins Putt Putt almost every month for the last three years?”

“Yeah, I think you left that part out.”

“Must have slipped my mind,” she said with another giggle.

Steve took a couple steps to close the gap between them and wrapped his arms around her.

“Did you just hustle me?”

“Is it really hustling when I would've done much better on that first hole if you hadn't gotten me all worked up by saying you wanted to kiss me forever?”

“So that's the trick to beating you?” he asked. “Because I told you I don't like losing, and I will happily tell you everything I’d like to do with you later. Want a preview?”

He moved one hand to cradle her head, and the other pressed against the small of her back as he pulled her in for a kiss. Of course, they’d kissed before, but there was something different about this one. Something more desperate and needy as he deepened the kiss and held her closer. It left her weak in the knees and grabbing at him for support, and when he started to pull away, she was chasing his lips for more.

It was only when the fog cleared and she remembered that they were in public that she felt herself heating up with embarrassment. She buried her face in his chest to hide her beet red cheeks and willed herself to calm down.

“Steve,” she whined. “There are kids here.”

Steve glanced around the area still holding Chrissy trapped in his arms.

“I don’t see any kids. Besides, it's not like any kid’s just never seen a little kissing before. There’s a kiss at the end of every single one of those Disney movies.”

“They aren’t kissing like that in Tangled, Steven.”

He tried to peek around to see her face, but she turned her head to keep it hidden from him.

“No. I don't look cute when I'm embarrassed, so I don't want you to look at me.”

“I thought we'd already established that I think you're beautiful no matter how much you're blushing?”

Chrissy finally turned to look at him and pouted.

“That was mean,” she told him. “You can't get me all worked up like that in public. I don't like feeling so out of control in regards to my appearance when other people can see me. It makes me worry about what my mom would say if she could see me, and that's not fun for me even if the activities leading up to that feeling were more than enjoyable.”

It scared her to be so open about her insecurities with him, but she knew that she had to tell him this. If she didn't establish her boundaries now, all she'd be doing was setting the two of them up for failure later on. She braced herself for the anger and disappointment that she was sure he was going to express, but it never came.

“I’m sorry,” he told her. “I thought that we were just messing around and being playfully competitive, so I didn’t stop to think about how I was crossing your boundaries about PDA and making you uncomfortable. I promise not to do that again unless I have your permission first, okay?”

“Okay.” She wrapped her arms around him a little tighter. “Thank you.”

He kissed the top of her head before releasing her from his embrace.

“You know, you calling me Steven again reminded me that I haven’t tested out any new nicknames on you yet.” He took her hand in his and started to lead the way towards the next hole. “Is Chrissy short for anything?”

“Christine. But I don’t particularly like that either,” she admitted. “I’ve always just been Chrissy. My parents only ever use my full name when I’m in trouble or they want me to sound more mature in front of someone they’re trying to impress. It’s never felt like my name.”

“How about Teeny? It’s like the second half of your name, and it fits with how tiny and cute you are.”

Chrissy scrunched up her nose and shook her head.

“It’s not as bad as Chris, but it’s still not me.”

“I’ll keep thinking then. I’m gonna find the perfect nickname for you. Just you wait.”

For the rest of the game, Steve threw out increasingly ridiculous nickname options. Some of them sounded like they could have been derived from her name, and others were just random names that he threw out to make her laugh. At one point, he suggested calling her Esteban which had her doubled over and clinging to his arm for support as she told him that was just a Spanish version of his name.

Despite the distraction from all his silly nicknames and her laughter, Chrissy still managed to beat Steve by two strokes at the end of their game.

“I think I’m in the mood for strawberry,” she said as she bounded over to him.

“Whatever you want,” he replied. “I still can’t believe you hustled me.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck and stood on her tiptoes to give him a quick kiss.

“You say that as if you wouldn’t have bought me ice cream anyway.”

“You’ve got me there.”

“Now, about that kiss from earlier.” She twisted her fingers in the ends of his hair, lightly scratching at the back of his neck. “Maybe keep that energy in mind when we’re alone in our room tonight?”

“As you wish.”

***

When they met back up with Eddie and Nancy, it was finally late enough that they could check into their hotel and come up with a plan for the rest of their evening.

“I’m thinking we drop our stuff off in our rooms, and then we can go grab takeout somewhere and have a movie night back here,” Nancy said as they stepped into their hotel’s elevator.

“Sounds good to me,” Eddie said before looking at the ground and pausing. “Well, that’s not suspicious at all.”

The group all glanced down at where he was looking and noticed the very out of place smear of what could have potentially been blood.

“Remind me not to take this elevator for the rest of our stay,” Steve said as he pulled Chrissy a little closer to him and farther away from the stain.

Their room was only on the second floor, so they didn’t have to be in the weird elevator long. Once they were on their floor, they separated to drop off their things. Chrissy was just about ready to leave their room again when Steve tackled her onto one of the beds.

“What are you doing?” she asked through her giggles as he pinned her to the mattress. “We’re supposed to be back in the hallway in five minutes.”

“A lot of kissing can happen in five minutes,” he told her before leaning down to capture her lips with his own. This kiss wasn’t as intense as the one from earlier, but she could tell it was on its way to getting there.

“Later,” she told him when they broke apart. “We both know that five minutes isn’t enough time for all the kissing you wanna do. Besides, right now I’m a little more concerned with the fact that I think someone was stabbed in the elevator.”

“You’ve got nothing to worry about. I’ll protect you.”

“My hero. Now, let me up so we can go get dinner.”

Instead of climbing off of her, Steve went limp and laid across her.

“She hates me. She says she hates me.”

“I didn't say that. I said we had to get dinner.”

“Same difference.”

“Would a kiss help convince you that I don't hate you?”

“Maybe.”

Steve lifted his head and waited for a quick peck, but the mischievous smile on Chrissy’s face said she had other plans. Before he knew what was happening, she was using all her strength to roll him off of her. She moved to straddle his waist and easily pinned his wrists to the mattress beneath them. He was still in shock when she leaned down to give him the most intense kiss that she'd initiated so far.

It was over almost as quickly as it started though, and soon she was climbing off of him to head towards the door to their room. Steve made no moves to get up and follow her though.

“Aren't you coming?” she asked.

“Give me a minute. That was maybe the hottest thing a girl has ever done to me, and I need a moment to recover.”

Chrissy giggled as she moved back over to him. She grabbed his wrists and pulled him up into a sitting position.

“C’mon. It wasn't that hot.”

“Oh yeah? Well, we'll see how you feel about that when I've got you in the same position later.”

“I’ll eagerly await it then.”

***

The group ended up getting Chinese takeout and heading back to Steve and Chrissy’s room to watch a movie. It wasn't that he was trying to rush their friends out of their room, but Steve was faking a yawn as soon as the movie was over. He just wanted a little alone time with Chrissy, and he wanted it sooner rather than later.

“So, what should we do now?” he asked her as soon as Eddie and Nancy were out the door.

“Well, why don't we get ready for bed, and we just go from there?” she suggested. “You can take the bathroom first since I'm pretty sure my nighttime routine takes longer than yours.”

Steve took almost no time in the bathroom and waited for Chrissy by lounging on their bed and catching up on the texts he'd been neglecting. Dustin, El, and Robin had all been blowing up his phone with questions about how he was enjoying his trip and news about what they were doing in his absence, and he'd been too focused on being in the moment with Chrissy to respond with the frequency he normally would have.

When she was finally done in the bathroom and reentered their room, Steve threw back the blankets on Chrissy's side of the bed and opened his arms for her. He was still thinking about what she'd said that morning about being afraid that she was too clingy, and he was going to do everything in his power to prove to her that he'd always be more than happy to hold her in his arms and cuddle her to her heart’s content. She had the biggest smile on her face as she climbed into bed and snuggled up to him, so he was taking that as another win in his crusade to make her feel better about herself.

“Give me five minutes to finish up this conversation with Robin, and then I'm all yours, okay?”

She nodded and kissed his jaw before settling in with her own phone. Soon, she was laughing at whatever she was looking at, and he was peeking over at her screen.

“What's so funny?” he asked.

“Oh, it's nothing,” she said as she angled her phone towards him. “Just this picture of my friend April from her private stories.”

Steve took in the photo which consisted of a group of people that he recognized as mostly members of the basketball team and cheerleading squad. Chrissy’s friend April was front and center with Jason basically hanging off of her. He would've thought this might have upset her, but April had added “it's giving desperation” with a vomiting emoji over the picture.

“I think he's been trying to make his way through the entire squad since he dumped me, and April is the only hold out. Even if she wasn't the only one who's stayed my friend through all of that, he wouldn't have a chance with her. He'll never be her type if you know what I mean.”

Chrissy immediately clapped a hand over her mouth.

“I shouldn't have said that. Pretend I didn't say that.”

“Oh, so she’s-”

“Yes, but you have to promise you won't say anything about it to anyone. I'm pretty sure I'm the only person who knows outside of her family.”

“I knew about Robin for ages before she came out at graduation, and I never told anyone, so her secret’s safe with me.”

But the wheels were already turning in Steve's head with ideas of him getting to go on double dates with his best friend. His conversation with Robin was close to wrapping up anyway, so he just had to slip in the framework for this idea before he gave Chrissy his full attention.

Steve: chrissy and I are probably gonna go to bed soon so I should wrap this up

Steve: but I need you to keep the rest of your summer free for me once I'm back

Robin: I mean you're my entire social calendar until college so

Robin: does this have anything to do with the girl that's currently in your bed?

Steve: maybe

Steve: just prepare to be sick of hanging out with me by the time you leave

Robin: impossible

Robin: love you or whatever dingus

Steve: love you or whatever too

Steve set his phone aside and turned his attention back towards Chrissy. As soon as he'd set his phone down, she was moving to set hers down on the nightstand, too.

“So, what did you have in mind for us tonight?” he asked her.

“I don't know. It just occurred to me that my parents would lose their minds if they knew that I’ve been sharing a bed with a boy.”

“Oh, really?” He moved to hold her a little closer. “What if they found out you were cuddling with that boy?”

“They'd be positively scandalized,” she said with a knowing smirk.

“You don't say,” he said with a smirk of his own and a raised eyebrow. “And if you were kissing that boy?”

“Oh, they'd never recover. They'd have to flee the country in shame because their darling disappointment of a daughter was such a common whore.”

They were both holding back laughter as Steve finally leaned in to kiss her. This was different from any other kiss they'd shared. He'd been trying to be so respectful of the boundaries that Chrissy had put in place that they hadn't really made out like this before. It had all been quick kisses and cuddling up until now, but she'd told him to hang on to that desperate energy from earlier, so that was exactly what he planned on doing.

At first, it was all wandering hands and trying to figure out exactly how they fit together until she wrapped one arm around his neck and tangled the fingers from her other hand in his hair. He gripped her hips and held her flush against him as he replicated that kiss from earlier. The only difference was that she was just as greedy as he was this time around, tugging at his lower lip and chasing him for more when he pulled away slightly.

“And what if that boy kissed you right here?” he asked before moving to nip at her neck, his teeth grazing against her pulse point.

She couldn't find the words to respond. All she could manage was a gasp as her grip tightened and she tugged on his hair. He groaned against her neck, and he felt the way she shuddered against him.

“Maybe we take your parents out of the equation now?”

She nodded vigorously.

“Please,” she uttered before pulling him in to kiss her again.

He would never tire of hearing her say please before a kiss. To hear that she not only welcomed his advances but was just as desperate to be touched by him as he was to touch her - it was almost too much for him to handle.

As their kissing intensified, he felt her rocking her hips against his own, and she moaned into his mouth from the pleasure of that friction. He moved to fiddle with the hem of her shirt, but the second he touched the bare skin of her stomach, she froze on him. She wasn't kissing him back anymore. She was barely moving. She only stayed like that for a moment before she was grabbing at his wrist and struggling against him.

“No,” she said as she pushed his hand away from her body. “Don't.”

Steve pulled away immediately and moved to sit up next to her. That last thing he wanted to do was keep touching her when she clearly didn't want that, but her reaction stung more than he wanted to admit.

“What did I do?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

Chrissy moved to sit up next to him, and he could see the tears welling up in her eyes.

“Shit. I'm sorry.” He wanted to do something to try to comfort her, but he was afraid that she'd push him away if he tried to touch her again. “I don't know what happened, but whatever I did, I'm so sorry.”

“Too much,” she whispered. “Too fast.”

“Do you want some space? I can go to the other bed.”

He started to climb off their bed, but she grabbed his hand to stop him.

“Don't. Please stay.”

She was quiet for a couple minutes almost as if she was willing herself not to fully cry in front of him, and every minute felt like an eternity for Steve as he waited for her to tell him exactly how he'd messed up.

“I'm sorry,” she said when she finally spoke up. “You touched me, and I panicked, but that was fully a me issue.”

“Can you please explain it to me then? I want to understand, so I don't make the same mistake again.”

“That's the thing though. You didn't make any mistakes. If I was any other girl, that wouldn't have happened.”

She wiped at her eyes with the back of her free hand.

“Maybe I should have talked to you about this before we started,” she told him. “But I didn't realize I would react that way. I thought it would be different with you.”

She took a deep breath and squeezed his hand.

“I know there were rumors about me in high school, and I'm sure you heard some of them just like I heard rumors about Steve ‘The Hair’ Harrington. Rumors about just how far I was willing to go with Jason and all of the things I let him do to me.”

Steve would be lying if he said that wasn't true. Jason wasn't exactly quiet when he bragged to the guys in the locker room. He'd always thought that Jason was exaggerating a little bit, but he'd also figured there was at least some truth to what he'd overheard.

“But I need you to know none of that was true,” she continued. “Jason and I . . . We never . . . I mean, we didn't . . . I never let him get past second base, and even then, his hands always stayed on the outside of my clothes. It never felt right with him. Like it was an obligation that I was required to fill as his girlfriend, but it was never something that I felt ready for, so it never happened. I always assumed that I would be ready eventually, so I let him say whatever he needed to say to the guys to placate him. Those rumors were probably all true in a sense. I’m sure he really was doing all the things that he claimed he was doing. He just wasn’t doing them with me.

“I don't want to talk about that though. I just needed you to know that I'm not as experienced as you might have thought I was, so that was a part of why I reacted that way. So, I'll understand if you don't want to share a bed with me tonight or be anywhere near me for awhile really. You'll probably want your space. That's how it always goes, so I'm used to being pushed away by now. I won’t be upset if that’s what you want. Honest.”

Steve's anger at Jason had moved past just wanting to be an annoyance in his life. He was starting to wonder if Hopper would let him get away with running the guy over with his car.

“Permission to hug you?” he asked as he opened his arms a little.

Chrissy nodded before moving to wrap her arms around him with her head tucked into the crook of his neck. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close being careful to keep his hands on her back. She never pulled away from him when he touched her there, so he figured that was a safe place for them.

“Thank you for opening up to me,” he started. “That didn't seem easy for you to say, and I want you to know that I appreciate you doing that for me. I realize we're doing this whole dating thing in a weird order. I mean, we shared a bed before either of us were even able to admit we liked each other. That's definitely not the norm. But that doesn't mean you have to rush into something you're not ready for.”

“It doesn't?”

“It doesn't. I really like you, and I don't want you to ever feel like I'm pressuring you into something that you don't want to do. You get to set the pace here.”

“And you won't be mad at me?”

“Why would I be mad at you?”

“I don't know. Just because.”

“Well, I'm not mad at you. I'll never get mad at you over your boundaries. Just let me know what I did wrong, and I won't do it again.”

She stayed quiet again as she struggled to find the right way to tell him why she reacted the way she did.

“My stomach,” she finally whispered. “You touched my stomach.”

She held him a little tighter, and he started to rub her back doing what little he could do to provide some comfort as she explained herself.

“There are parts of me that I'm self-conscious about,” she admitted. “I don't want to feel that way, but I do. So, when you touched one of those spots without my clothing as a protective shield, I panicked. I just don't think I'm ready for that kind of skin contact. I thought I was, but I’m not. Not tonight at least. And I'm sorry if my reaction hurt you. It was involuntary, but I need you to know that I want to be with you. It just might take me a minute to be ready.”

“I want to be with you, too,” he told her before kissing the top of her head. “I'm happy to slow things down if that's what you need. And I think you're perfect, you know? I know that I don't get everything that’s going on in your head, but I think you're beautiful inside and out.”

“Really?”

“You think I’d lie to you about something like that? There isn’t a single part of you that I would change.”

“Thank you. And, for the record, I feel the same way about you. Don’t let it go to your head or anything.”

“Too late. I can already feel my ego inflating.”

Chrissy snort-laughed and hugged Steve a little tighter.

“I'm sorry I killed the mood.”

“Don't be. If you're not comfortable, we're not doing anything. Simple as that. Do you wanna watch a movie or something until we fall asleep instead?”

“Can we watch Fraggle Rock? That always makes me feel better.”

“Whatever you want.”

Chrissy pulled away from Steve to grab her iPad from her bag. She took a moment to set it up with an episode of her comfort show and propped it up on the nightstand before moving to lay down. Steve laid down with her and draped an arm over her waist to pull her back against his chest.

As he tucked his chin around her shoulder and moved to kiss her cheek, Chrissy felt herself holding back tears again. She established a boundary about how far she was willing to go, and Steve had respected that boundary immediately. And even then, he still wanted to be close to her in the ways she was comfortable with. If this had been Jason, he would’ve kicked her out of the bed and spent the rest of the evening doing his best to make her feel small for disappointing him. Never in a million years would he have let her cuddle up to him and choose what they got to watch. It was so refreshing to know that her feelings mattered, too, and that alone helped to melt away some of her insecurities about physical intimacy.

As she started to drift off in the middle of their second episode, it occurred to her that this is what a healthy relationship felt like. And maybe - just maybe - that was the kind of relationship she deserved to be in.

***

When Chrissy woke up the next morning, she felt cold. She and Steve had rolled away from each other in the middle of night, and she missed the comfort of his embrace. His back was to her, so she wormed her arm between his and his side and pressed herself up against his back so she could be the big spoon.

Steve stirred as she clung to him and took her hand in his to give it a little squeeze.

“G’morning,” he mumbled as he rolled over to face her.

“Good morning. You sleep okay?”

He nodded. “Kiss?”

She leaned in and gave him a quick kiss before snuggling deeper into his arms.

“Thank you again for being so understanding last night,” she told him. “I really appreciated it.”

“Don't mention it. You deserve to be comfortable with whatever we're doing.”

“Yeah, but you went above and beyond to make sure I was okay. It was really very sweet of you.”

“Stopping immediately and making sure you were okay is the bare minimum here. I'm just the first decent guy you've ever been with, so it feels like I did more.”

“Well, I can't argue with you there.”

She kissed him again and moved to trail her fingers up and down his spine.

“Can I ask you a question?” she asked.

He nodded.

“Remember that morning when you and Eddie overslept, and Nancy and I had to come wake you up?”

He nodded again.

“Well, I noticed that you weren't wearing a shirt when you got up, and you didn't wear a shirt to bed the first night that we all shared that motel room together. But I also noticed that you've worn a shirt every time that we've shared a bed, and I was kind of wondering why that is?”

“Well, that first night, I just didn't think you'd be comfortable if I didn't have one on especially because I was worried you were already uncomfortable about sharing with me and just pretending you were okay with it to be nice.”

“You thought I was just being nice?”

“Until you started torturing me, yeah,” he teased. “But after that, I just didn't want to push your boundaries, and you never said anything about it until now, so I figured I was doing the right thing.”

“Well, you've cared so much about me being comfortable, and I want you to know that I care about your comfort, too. So, if you're more comfortable sleeping without a shirt, I'd be fine with you doing that.”

“Oh, you'd be fine with that, huh?” he asked with a teasing smirk. “And it has everything to do with my comfort and nothing to do with you wanting to see me shirtless? I'm onto you, Chrissy. I know what games you're playing here.”

She moved to tickle his side, and he flinched and barked out a laugh before rolling them over so he could pin her to the bed beneath him. He leaned in to kiss her, and it was only when he felt her smile against his lips that he struck, tickling up and down her sides and relishing in the way she squirmed beneath him and giggled into their kiss.

This only lasted for a moment, and soon he was moving to lay back down with her, holding her hands in his own to keep her from trying to get him back while he talked to her.

“So, I know it's my turn to buy you breakfast, and I still intend on doing that, but I need to know if I can have another half an hour of sleepy cuddles first?”

“Not a morning person?” Chrissy asked.

“Not even a little bit. When Dustin inevitably invents something that allows him to become supreme ruler of the world, my only request is going to be that he makes it illegal for anyone to wake me up before ten at the earliest.”

“So what I'm hearing is that I'm going to be sent to jail immediately if that happens.”

“I think I'd let them make an exception for you. Only if you promise to stay in bed with me as late as I want.”

“And what if I want breakfast before you're ready to get up?”

“Obviously, Dustin will also assign me my own personal butler as a thank you for driving him around all the time, so he can bring you breakfast in bed.”

“Well, you've just got everything figured out then, I guess.” Chrissy took a quick glance at the clock on the nightstand. “My alarm actually isn't supposed to go off for another forty-five minutes, so if you wanted, we could go back to sleep until then. But you'll have to let me get up to shower as soon as the alarm goes off if we want to have enough time for our breakfast date.”

“Have I mentioned that you're my favorite?” he asked. “Because you are.”

“I don't think you have, but it's lovely to hear.”

“Then I'll say it again.” He leaned in and gave her a kiss, lingering just a moment longer than he normally would in an attempt to convey everything he felt for her in that moment. That he wanted to be with her, and he knew whatever was starting between them was something real even if it was brand new and scary. “You're my favorite.”

Steve rolled over to lay on his back so she could rest her head on his chest and snuggle closer to him as they fell back asleep.

“You're my favorite, too,” she whispered.

***

Going to a major league baseball game was one of the few things that Steve had put on his list for the trip. Since there were no Indiana teams at that level, it wasn't something he got to do very often, and he thought it could be a fun excursion for everyone. And, since he was willing to buy everyone’s tickets to the game, even Eddie couldn’t complain about going to a sporting event. That might have been because he was having what appeared to be an allergic reaction to his room, and he was thankful for any reason to get out of the hotel. And the fact that the murder elevator was out of service that morning didn't help either.

“I don't understand it,” he said as they took their seats in the ballpark. “I'm fine literally everywhere else in the hotel, but I feel like I'm dying when I'm in our room.”

“We can stop and pick up some allergy medicine for you on the way back to the hotel,” Nancy told him. “And most of tomorrow is our drive to Salem, so you can get some more sleep then if you have another rough night.”

“We can swap rooms with you tonight if you think it'll help,” Chrissy offered.

“I'll be fine,” Eddie said. “It's only one more night, and if whatever I'm allergic to is something like the fabric softener or whatever, switching rooms won't make a difference.”

“Okay, but the offer is still on the table if you change your mind.”

“So which team are we rooting for?” Eddie asked. “Or does it matter?”

“The home team.” Steve gestured to the well-loved Phillies cap on his head.

“Cool. Now I know who not to heckle.”

“Do you even understand baseball?” Chrissy asked.

“Barely. I just like to be loud.”

And loud Eddie was. He spent the majority of the first two innings yelling whenever it seemed like the rest of the crowd was reacting to what was happening on the field, and while he wasn’t really following the game, he had the spirit.

But, what surprised Steve even more was the fact that Chrissy was just as invested in the game as he was. She was cheering along with every run or incredible save that the Phillies made and grumbling under her breath about how the ref was clearly blind when he made calls in favor of the other team. If he wasn’t already smitten with her, seeing her like that would have sealed the deal.

“I didn’t know you were such a big Phillies fan,” he mentioned during a break between innings.

“Oh, I’m not loyal to any one team in particular,” she admitted. “But I’ve always enjoyed watching the games no matter who’s playing, and if you say we’re rooting for the Phillies, the cheerleader in me is going to understand the assignment. I’d be willing to pledge my undying loyalty to them if it’s important to you though.”

Steve laughed and took Chrissy's hand in his.

“That's not necessary, right now,” he told her as he gave her hand a little squeeze. “Maybe in the future, but I just like that you're enjoying this, too.”

They shared a look, but their moment was interrupted by Eddie swatting at Chrissy's arm.

“Take a look at the screen, lovebirds.”

The two turned their attention towards the scoreboard where they saw that their faces were blown up and displayed surrounded by a Kiss Cam frame.

“I didn't realize they still did that at games,” Steve said. He was frozen in place and unable to decide what to do. On one hand, he had absolutely no issue with kissing her and would happily do that if it was what she wanted. On the other hand, this was a pretty large amount of PDA, and he didn't want to do anything that crossed her boundaries and made her uncomfortable.

He was about to offer to lean over her and kiss Eddie just to make her laugh and take the attention off of her when she surprised him by leaning in and kissing him first. It wasn't an intense kiss by any means necessary, but it was definitely more public than anything she'd been comfortable with before. As soon as she pulled away, she took the cap off of his head and placed it on her head, lowering the brim to hide her blushing cheeks from the camera. He leaned in to kiss her cheek and wrapped an arm around her shoulders as soon as a different couple was on the screen.

“Wanna go get some ice cream?” he asked.

“Won't we miss part of the game if we get up?”

“We'll still be able to hear the announcers, and I'm sure we won't be gone that long.”

“Can we find one of those places that serves soft serve in one of those tiny plastic souvenir hats?”

“That’s the only acceptable way to eat ice cream at a baseball game, so absolutely we can.”

The two got up from their seats and ventured into the stadium to find a concession stand that was selling what they wanted.

“So, have you always been a Phillies fan?” Chrissy asked once they were in the proper line. “Most of the guys I know follow one of the Chicago teams or even Cincinnati since they're all so much closer to where we live.”

“They were my grandpa’s favorite team. He grew up out here and moved to Hawkins for work after college. Baseball was always one of his favorite things, and he hated that he ended up in a state that didn't have their own team. I think he would've moved back here if he hadn't met my nana. He loved her enough to live two hours away from the closest major league stadium.”

“That's really sweet.”

“It is. My parents don't exactly have a great marriage, and my dad's parents were about as involved in my life as he was, so I think I can count on one hand the number of times I actually saw them. But my mom's parents were the real deal.”

“Were?”

“They were a lot older than my other grandparents because they had my mom a little later in life. I probably got to spend as much time with them as I did because my grandpa was already retired by the time I was born. Whenever I wasn't with a nanny, I was with my grandparents. Why spend money on childcare when you have perfectly good parents to dump your kid on, right?  But my nana passed away from cancer when I was in middle school, and grandpa passed right before Nancy and I started dating.”

“I'm sorry. That really sucks.”

“Don't be. I miss them, but I'm not overwhelmingly sad about it anymore. All of that information was just to say that my grandpa was the one who got me into baseball. When I was seven, he took me to my first ever major league game in Cincinnati when the Phillies were playing the Reds. We had the best seats right behind the Phillies dugout, and he let me eat more hot dogs than any child should ever consume. It was maybe the best day I ever spent with him. He actually bought me that hat as we were leaving the game as a memory of the day we had together. I never got to see his favorite team play their home field with him, so bringing the hat here was like having a little part of him with me today.”

Chrissy pulled the hat off of her head and tried to hand it back to him.

“I wouldn't have taken it if I'd known how much it meant to you.”

“It looks cute on you,” he told her as he took the hat out of her hands to place it back on her head. “I'm gonna want it back at the end of the day, but you can keep wearing it for now.”

Chrissy stood on her tiptoes to kiss Steve's cheek, and when it was their turn to order, she insisted on paying.

“You paid for all of us to come here, so the least I could do is get you a mid-game treat.”

“But I was the one who suggested we go get ice cream in the first place, so it was implied that it was gonna be my treat.”

“Absolutely not. Sometimes I get to treat you, too, Stephen.”

“Whatever you say, Chrysanthemum,” he teased, throwing out another one of his jokey nicknames.

“I think that one is really pretty actually,” she told him after considering the name for a moment. “I wouldn't mind being called a flower when you're teasing me.”

“Then that's what I'll call you. You'll be my flower. My Chrysanthemum.”

“Oh, so I'm yours now?” she asked, quirking an eyebrow.

“Well, yeah. You're mine, and I'm yours. I figured we'd established that already.”

Chrissy couldn't stop her smile from spreading across her face. She really liked the sound of that.

***

After the Phillies absolutely decimated the other team, the group went out for dinner. When Eddie noticed the wall decorated with colored kids menus, he spoke to the hostess for the group.

“We'd like four of your finest kids menus and the best crayons you can find,” he told her.

“Aren't you guys a little too old for the kids menu?”

“You're never too old for reasonably priced chicken tenders and coloring pages.”

The hostess just shrugged and grabbed the menus and crayons Eddie requested before leading them to a booth.

“I'd like to make a wager,” Eddie announced to the table. “Specifically with Steve, but you lovely ladies are welcome to join in if you want. Whoever colors the picture on the back of their menu the best wins. Loser buys everyone ice cream after dinner.”

“And who's going to be the judge of this contest?” Steve asked.

“Chrissy and Nancy, obviously.”

“And if it ends in a tie?”

“Then we'll ask the waitress for a tie breaker, but I doubt we'll need one when everyone sees how much better my picture is than yours.”

“Okay. You're on.”

As the boys worked on their coloring pages, Nancy tried to hold a conversation with Chrissy, but she noticed that her friend seemed to be overly distracted by the competition happening next to them. She watched as the girl’s focus seemed to be entirely on Steve and what his hands were doing, and she had to stifle a laugh when she noticed Chrissy sneaking a picture of him.

“Your heart eyes are showing,” she said as she nudged Chrissy's foot with her own under the table.

That snapped Chrissy out of her focus, and she set her phone face down on the table in front of her as she tried to ignore the blush growing on her cheeks.

“Sorry. I was distracted.”

“I could tell. It's cute though. I like seeing how happy you two make each other. And, yes, I'm saying this while he's in earshot just to embarrass you a little bit.”

Steve lifted his head from his work and turned to kiss Chrissy’s cheek.

“So, you're happy?” he asked her.

“Very much so.”

“Good. I'm happy, too. And I'll be even happier once I've won us that free ice cream.”

He gave her another quick kiss, and then he was back to his coloring.

The girls started playing hangman on the backs of their menus, and soon enough, the guys were ready for them to judge. And, as Steve had anticipated, their contest ended in a tie.

“Judas,” Eddie said when Chrissy voted for Steve over him.

“Look at the shading on his picture though,” she replied. “How could I not vote for him?”

Steve draped an arm around her shoulders, and she tucked herself into his side.

“She likes me best,” Steve grinned.

“What did I tell you about letting my affection go to your head?” she asked.

“It's too late. I can feel my ego inflating as we speak.”

“So does that mean your hair is going to get even bigger?” Eddie asked.

Steve wadded up his straw wrapper and flicked it at Eddie’s head.

It was then that their waitress appeared with their orders.

“Is there anything else I can get you guys while I'm here?” she asked after she'd distributed their food.

“Actually, could you do us a favor?” Eddie asked. He pulled Steve’s picture towards himself and then held up the two pages for the waitress.

“Settle a wager for us. Which one of these is the better coloring job?”

She considered their work for a moment before pointing at Steve's.

“I think I've gotta go with this one,” she told them. “I mean, he wrote ‘by: Steve, age 19 ½’ it the corner. It's kind of iconic. Do you care if I hang it up on the wall with the others?”

“Go right ahead.”

The waitress took his picture, and Chrissy and Nancy burst out laughing as soon as she was away from the table.

“The party is going to lose it when they hear about your ‘iconic’ work,” Nancy said between giggles.

“Absolutely not,” Steve replied. “None of them can ever hear about this. They make fun of me enough already. I just wanted the free ice cream. Promise none of you will ever say anything about this to them.”

“You think I'm gonna tell ‘em?” Eddie asked. “The only thing more embarrassing than winning a coloring contest is losing one.”

“I make no such promises,” Nancy decided. “But I'll accept bribes.”

“You won't tell them, will you?” Steve asked Chrissy.

“Me? Never.”

“I knew you were my favorite for a reason.”

As they ate their meals, Chrissy couldn't help but think that it was a little silly of Steve to think he needed to ask that of her. She didn't even know the party, so why would he need her to make that promise? It was unnecessary unless he intended on introducing her to them once they were back in Hawkins. It warmed her heart to think that he already wanted to share such an important part of his life with her, and she never wanted to forget that feeling. 

So, before they left the restaurant, she made a point to go over and take a picture of Steve's artwork on the wall. She wasn't going to share that picture with anyone. She just wanted it as a reminder of this moment.

***

“I'm stealing your pajama top,” Chrissy said as she pulled the t-shirt that Steve normally slept in out of his suitcase. He'd already changed into what he was wearing for bed that night, and he'd left his shirt off like she'd told him he could that morning. “It's so much softer than mine, and I might as well wear it if you're not going to.”

She was about to gather her things off of the dresser and head into the bathroom to get ready for bed when Steve spoke up and stopped her in her tracks.

“You know, you don't have to go into the bathroom to change if you don't want to,” he told her. “I mean, I just change out here, and it's not like I've never seen boobs before.”

She wished it was that easy. That he could say that and she'd magically feel comfortable taking her clothes off while he was in the room. Of course, she wouldn't need to get completely naked in front of him, and he'd already seen her in a swimsuit, but this was different. Her underwear didn't cover nearly as much as her bikini did, and that was already a struggle for her. She wanted nothing more than to be able to be that vulnerable with him, but she was frozen in her spot.

Maybe he noticed how shaky she seemed at that moment or maybe it was because she had gripped the hem of her shirt and started tugging it down so tightly that her knuckles were stark white, but Steve immediately backtracked his statement.

“I don't want to make you feel like you have to do anything you're uncomfortable with,” he told her. “I was just saying that you don't have to put that extra effort into getting changed if you didn't want to.”

He never reacted badly when she told him about one of her insecurities, so maybe she could share this with him, too. She took a deep breath and calmed herself down a little bit before speaking.

“It's not that I don't want to change in front of you,” she told him. “It's that I physically can't bring myself to do it.”

“You can't, but maybe I can?”

“What?”

Steve got up from his place on the bed and crossed over to where Chrissy was standing. He took her hands - which were still gripping the hem of her shirt - in his and rubbed gentle circles into their backs with his thumbs until she relaxed her grip.

“Let me help you,” he told her. “Just say the word, and I'll stop, but let me help you so it feels less scary.”

He dropped her hands and moved to the hem of her shirt. She moved to rest her hand on one of his wrists, and he paused.

“It's just you and me,” he said, looking into her eyes. “Just us. The only thing that matters right now is what you want.”

She took another deep breath.

“It's just us,” she repeated. “I want you to do it.”

“As you wish.”

She dropped her hand away from his, and he slowly lifted the hem of her shirt, pulling it up and off of her body. The only time he broke eye contact with her was when her shirt was blocking her face, and he couldn't fully see her. His eyes never wandered towards the parts of her that she was so desperate to keep hidden, and that helped her to relax.

“Tell me what to do,” he told her. “Whatever you want.”

“My shorts. You can - you can get rid of those, too.”

He nodded, and once again, he kept his eyes on her face as he worked on removing her clothes. And, when his knuckles brushed against her stomach as he unbuttoned her shorts, she didn't flinch or try to push him away like she had the night before. Maybe it was because they weren't in bed this time, but she had a feeling that wasn't the case. This felt so much more intimate than that, and she didn't want to shrink away from him anymore. She didn't want to deny herself because of the horrible things people had said to her in the past.

It was just the two of them. Nothing else mattered.

Soon, her shorts were falling to the floor, and Steve held her hands to steady her as she stepped out of them. She'd never felt so exposed in front of another person before, but she wasn't scared. Not of Steve and not of what he thought about her. He didn't expect her to be some flawless little plaything. He accepted her flaws and all, and that helped her more than she knew how to express in words.

He didn't make any moves to try to remove her undergarments after that. Just kept holding her hands and looking at her like he was trying to read the emotions on her face. And that was exactly what she needed. She didn't think she was ready to be fully bare in front of him. She wasn't ready for what that would lead to. But, she was ready for this. She could do this little bit, and maybe tomorrow she could change in front of him without his help. She was willing to try. He made her want to try. But for tonight, that was maybe enough.

“I think I'm ready to cover up now,” she told him.

“Whatever you want.”

He dropped her hands and handed her his shirt that she'd left on the dresser. She pulled it on over her head and gathered up the rest of her things.

“I'm going to go finish getting ready for bed.”

And with that, she scurried off into the safety of the bathroom to go through her nightly routine. It was only when she really looked at herself in the mirror as she wiped away the toothpaste that had dribbled onto her chin that the realization hit her.

Steve hadn't pawed at her. He hadn't asked her for more than what she was willing to do, and he hadn't ogled her even though he had every opportunity to do so. He respected her and let her be in control of the situation even though he could have touched her in whatever ways he wanted with the position she’d allowed herself to be put into.

Oh.

Oh.

She didn't need to hide from him like she'd needed to hide herself in the past. He wasn't going to take advantage of her. Of course, deep down she'd already known that. It just hadn't fully clicked into place until now.

When she exited the bathroom, Steve was sitting up in bed and playing with his phone, but he set it aside as soon as he saw her. Wordlessly, she moved to climb into the bed, but instead of sitting next to him, she straddled his waist and sat back on his thighs. She cupped his face in her hands and kissed him soft and slow. His hands moved to grip her hips, and soon he was chasing her lips for more as she pulled away.

“What was that for?” he asked.

“You see me,” she whispered. “I don't have to pretend with you the way I've been pretending with nearly everyone else in my life for who knows how long. And I want to show you how much I appreciate the way you push me to open up while still respecting my boundaries.”

Her hands fell away from his face and moved to start lifting up the hem of her shirt, but it was Steve’s turn to grip her wrist and stop her.

“You don't have to do this if you don't want to,” he told her. “I'm not expecting this from you. We don't have to do anything tonight, or even for the rest of this trip. I'm not going to pressure you for more, and I don't want you to feel obligated into doing anything.”

“Has no one ever told you that respecting a girl’s boundaries is the biggest turn on?” she asked. “That's not why I'm doing this though. I know I'm not ready for that, so that's not happening tonight. But I still want to show you something more. Let me be brave.”

He nodded and let go of her wrist allowing her to take off her top and set it next to them on the bed. She'd taken off her bra in the bathroom, so, with the exception of her pajama shorts, she was bare before him.

“I'm not ready for everything,” she told him as she leaned in to whisper in his ear. “But I’m ready for a little more. If you can see skin right now, that's where you're allowed to touch me when things start to heat up again. I want you to touch me.”

She kissed his jaw and then moved back to let him really look at her. She'd taken down her ponytail, so the ends of her hair curled around her shoulders. She nervously bit her lower lip, and as she looked at him waiting for a response, he was rendered speechless by how beautiful she was. How any girl who looked like her could have any insecurities was a mystery to him. She was perfect.

She placed a hand under his chin to close his mouth, and it was only then that he realized his jaw had dropped at seeing her like that.

“Whatcha starin’ at?” she asked with a slight laugh. “I thought you said you'd seen boobs before?”

“None as perfect as yours.”

She started to blush, and he watched as it spread to her neck and collarbones. It made him wonder just how far he could make that blush go and how much teasing it would take to make that happen.

“I think I've exposed myself enough for one night,” she said as she pulled the t-shirt back towards her and started to redress. She didn't sound uncomfortable though. She was content, and she didn't want to push herself too far in one go.

Once she was covered, she leaned in to kiss him again.

“I'm not used to accepting compliments,” she said as she pulled away.

“I'm more than happy to help you practice.”

He moved to tuck her hair back behind her ear and press a kiss against the stretch of her neck that he'd just exposed.

“You're beautiful, Chrissy, and your vulnerability is a gift that I'm so thankful you were willing to share with me. I'll do whatever it takes to make sure you never regret that.”

“I won't regret it. Not with you.”

He wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her closer to flip them around so she was the one leaning against the pillows and he was holding himself up over her.

“Tell me what you want from me.”

“I want you to show me what you would have done to me last night if I hadn't stopped you.”

“And you'll stop me again when I've hit your boundary?”

She nodded. “I trust you.”

That was all the confirmation he needed before crashing their lips together. Maybe she was right about respect being the biggest turn on because she was just as greedy with her kisses as he was. When she started to grind her hips against his, he pulled away slightly, and she whimpered beneath him.

“You wanted to know what I would've done last night, right?” he asked as he kept her from pulling him back in. “Let me show you just how much I want you. Let me focus on you for a minute because I know that no one has ever appreciated you in this way before.”

He pulled the neckline of her shirt aside so he could pepper her neck and collarbones with kisses being careful not to bruise her since he wasn't sure how she'd feel about hickeys. He didn't need to mark her to know that she was his just as much as he knew that he was hers and hers alone for as long as she was willing to have him.

When he scraped along her pulse point like he had the night before, she whimpered again and gripped his hips in an attempt to guide him closer to her and create some friction to satisfy the ache that was growing between her legs.

“Not yet,” he said, resisting her pull.

“Mean.”

“I'm mean?” he asked before leaning in to kiss her neck again. “You think this is mean?”

“Mean,” she repeated as she tried to pull him closer again.

“I could be worse,” he told her as he played with the hem of her shirt. He slipped his hand underneath, and this time, she didn't pull away as his palm glided up the expanse of her stomach. She arched her back into his touch, but he pushed her back into the pillows again as he explored her body. When he made it to her breasts, he moved to kiss her lips again, and he felt her breath catch in her throat as his thumb brushed against her nipple.

“It won't be for your first time.” As he spoke, he broke up his sentences with more kisses and lingering touches as he catalogued the way she reacted to each little touch. “If I'm lucky enough to be the first person who you give yourself to - God, I'd worship you. Do whatever it takes to make sure that it's enjoyable for you and only care about your pleasure. Prove to you that you deserve to put yourself and your needs first.

“But I can be mean, too. Once you know what it means to feel that good, I'll bring you right to the brink only to stop what I'm doing without ever letting you feel that release. I'll use my hands and my mouth to take you there again and again and again, and only when you can't take it anymore and you're begging me to finish will I finally let you tip over the edge.”

He punctuated his last statement by pinching her nipple, and it took everything in him not to come apart himself when she moaned into his mouth. He gave her what she wanted after that and moved his thigh between her legs to offer her that friction she so desperately desired, and she rewarded him by pulling him even closer for another kiss where she was tugging on his hair and biting at his lower lip.

She had never wanted someone so badly before. Not even when she was alone in her bedroom at night, certain that everyone else in the house was asleep and letting her hands wander did she ever think being with another person could feel this good. This satisfying. It would have been so easy for her to tell him to keep going and lose herself completely, but she just wasn't ready for that yet. 

So, when it got to the point where what they were doing wasn't enough anymore, she gave him one last kiss before pulling away. He stopped what he was doing, but he didn't let go of her. He just held her in his arms as she pressed her forehead against his and tried to catch her breath.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

She nodded.

“I think I need to be done now though.”

“Whatever you need.”

She hadn't noticed it in the heat of things, but now that she was coming down from that high, she was painfully aware of Steve's erection pressing up against her thigh.

“If you need to go take care of that, you can,” she told him.

“Are you sure?”

“As much as I enjoy you holding me like this, I'll never be able to calm down with you this close to me, and we'll both be a lot more comfortable when you come back.”