#harmen uller

First off, his grandkids call him "Abuelo Harmy" and he encourages this. It's perfect on so many levels in his eyes.

He's always looked way older than he actually is. (Ulwyck tries to mock him for this. Harmen doesn't give a shit.)

He loves his family, and is more than willing to show it, and will shower affection on his daughter and granddaughters every chance he gets.

This affection only applies to those he considers his family. He is not cruel to those that do not deserve it, but neither is he kind.

Is considered to be the ideal Lord of the Hellholt, with everything that implies.

Has had no real luck with relationships. First was his relationship with Avaya, Ellaria's mother. They did genuinely love each other, but long story short they could not get past some roadblocks. Harmen blames himself for this.

Second off, he was actually almost betrothed to a woman a couple years after that. They were good friends, and did not expect anything but friendship. The issue was that said women did not believe that she would be a good Lady of the Hellholt, and so they amicably split and found her another match.

Officially, Ulwyck is his heir. Unofficially, it depends on what the situation is when Harmen dies. As Ulwyck has zero desire to marry and produce an heir, there are provisions in place for either Ellaria or one of her children to take over instead. Harmen is perfectly okay with this, especially as it means he sees his grandkids often.

He's tried to breach the subject of legitimizing Ellaria several times. Ellaria has refused for her own reasons. Harmen is frustrated by this, but tries not to let it show.

He gets along far too well with Oberyn. Doran worries about this sometimes.

He likes woodcarving. Unfortunately, he doesn't have easy access to wood because he lives in the middle of the desert. He always asks for some for his nameday.

House Targaryen Allies: Fancasting House Martell --> Coco Jack Gillies as Loreza Sand

“ ‘Doom and death are coming,’ Ellaria Sand had warned them, before she took her own leave from Prince Doran.  ‘It is time for my little snakes to scatter, the better to survive the carnage.’ Ellaria was returning to her father's seat at Hellholt.  With her went her daughter Loreza, who had just turned seven.”

Ellaria seems to have a close bond with her father, unlike what we see for many fathers of bastard girls elsewhere in Westeros. I’m sure he dotes on the youngest of her daughters too.

Dorne has different customs and attitudes towards bastards than the rest of Westeros.

They are not greatly concerned if a child is born in wedlock or out of it, especially if the child is born to a paramour. Many lords—and even some ladies—have paramours, chosen for love and lust rather than for breeding or alliance. –The World of Ice and Fire

I figure Ellaria’s mother was probably Harmen Uller’s paramour, his official mistress. I don’t know if she was raised at Hellholt, though the fact that she’s “returning to her father’s seat” does suggest she lived there, and I really don’t see any reason to think otherwise. Especially since we have the example of Daemon Sand, the Bastard of Godsgrace, who Oberyn introduces to Tyrion in the same sentence as his father, Ryon Allyrion. And though Shae says Ellaria was “almost a whore” when she met Oberyn, I figure that’s probably just wishful thinking on her behalf. (As Ellaria’s position – the publicly acknowledged paramour of a wealthy, handsome, and powerful man – would have been Shae’s dream job.)

Furthermore, what we know of Harmen Uller suggests he and Ellaria get along well:

I have a raven, Arianne thought, triumphantly, but who to send her to?[…] Arianne finally decided that she had but two real hopes: Harmen Uller, Lord of Hellholt, and Franklyn Fowler, Lord of Skyreach and Warden of the Prince’s Pass.Half of the Ullers are half-mad, the saying went, and the other half are worse. Ellaria Sand was Lord Harmen’s natural daughter. She and her little ones had been locked away with the rest of the Sand Snakes. That would have made Lord Harmen wroth, and the Ullers were dangerous when wroth. Too dangerous, perhaps. The princess did not want to put any more lives in danger.

–AFFC, The Princess in the Tower

So, Arianne thinks that Harmen would be angered at the imprisonment of his bastard daughter and grandchildren. Harmen was also present among Oberyn’s group of Dornish lords that went to King’s Landing, with no mention of any unease he’d have with Ellaria… and he was also present at the welcoming dinner for Balon Swann in Sunspear, again with no problems. It’s very likely that Ellaria and her daughter Loreza accompanied her father on his trip back to the Hellholt.

After some time of healing, I’d love for Rhaella to find true love. She deserves a sweet caring man (or woman) who’ll love her and her children.

Recently I’ve thought about it, and I’ve started shipping her with Harman Uller.

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it! I'm still happy about that fic 😊

Now that's a pairing I would never have thought about. And honestly... it's not a terrible idea??? Rhaella survived the Red Keep under Aerys. The Hellholt would be a walk in the park next to that- especially since she knows that anyone sent there deserves it, unlike anyone unfortunate enough to catch Aerys' attention.

As for personalities- with Ellaria existing and happily in a relationship with Oberyn, Rhaella would be free from any real expectations. She would be free to take things at her own pace. It also helps that I feel like Harmen is pretty free with affection to those he loves, like he can and will spoil the Sand Snakes at any opportunity in public or not, which would be a breath of fresh air for Rhaella.

Ellaria Sand has to be at least 26, but is more likely in her 30s, as her eldest daughter Elia Sand is 14. (GRRM has a tendency to make girls far too young by his own standards for their marriages/first sexual experiences, but since it is Dorne, Ellaria probably was not as young as 12, but closer to 15-16 if not older when she became Oberyn’s mistress.) That would make Elllaria 10± years younger than Elia Martell (and same with Oberyn), but I doubt she was named after the princess, they’re probably just Dornish/Rhoynish-type names. Elia Sand, however, was almost certainly named after her aunt Elia, as she was born about 2 years after her murder.

Half of the Ullers are half-mad, and the other half are worse.

Harmen Uller and his paramour