#harassment warning

Proshipper: Pro is a prefix, not short gor problematic. That's wordplay.Someone who is for shipping, regardless of ship; anti-anti. Can sometimes correspond with anti-censorship, pro-fiction, or anti-harassment. This term has sometimes been twisted by antis via wordplay as a way to harrass proshippers for what they ship because they deem it problematic.

Just finish my requests and be done with it, okay? Even the Geno sprite.

i dont harass proshippers, i leave them alone because they probably get enough hate as it is. i just block them so i dont have to deal with them.

the pro in proship means support, not problematic. i know that. it is pro-any ships. including stuff like incest or pedophilla. which is why i dont like to interact with them. if they arnt hurting anyone or being weird about it? i dont care.

ive been acused of being a proshipper enough to know the hate they get bombarded with, and im not going to encourage people to do the same to others. ive been harassed enough in my life and i dont want others to experiance that aswell. im not saying go harass shitsolkat or the favship blog whatever their name was. but i dont support them.

proshippers can do what they want, i dont care, aslong as it is not harmful or they are proclaiming that incest and pedophilla is ok.

i understand that most proshippers indulge in that to cope with truama or maybe other issues that do not concern me. but other times it could be a mask to protect them from being seen as an actual pedo or someone who indulges in real incest. i dont care if its of fictional characters, it dosnt effect me? but when its real people like eddsworld for example, that effects actual people. which isnt cool.

i dont like incest, pedophilla, whatever proshippers indulge in. but im not going to support it. ive made it clear i dont like them. but im not going to harass them. nor will i encourage my following to do so either.

listen i dont care what you do behind close doors, you or any other person. but when youre public about it dont expect people to be accepting, especially if you identify as something people dont agree with, like a proshipper. i honestly dont give a shit. i just dont want it on my dash.

i hope you guys can read this and understand. i know proship does not stand for problematic ship. im pretty well educated believe it or not, i just dont like to talk about stuff like this unless necessary like now, because my frequent typos and not the best grammer makes me look worse. but i do know what im talking about. im not trying to flex or something but as someone who has had college level academic scores since middle school and and know most shit adults dont i think i have a place here to talk.

again im not trying to "flex" my knowlage, just trying to show people im not an idoit and why i feel like i know enough to speak on this matter. i know what the pro prefix means. its the same pro used in things like prolife procensoreship whatever.

sorry for this long post but i need to clear things up

i am not a proshipper. thank you very much roxy and tree eridan for telling people so. /sarc

i do not hate proshippers. you can interact with my posts, but just know im not on your side. i will just ignore or block you.

and to my followers? dont harass proshippers, or any people deemed "problematic" if i see anyone who follows or interacts with me doing so you will be blocked. i will not let anyone who does that shit interact with me. i have dealt with harassment, second hand and first hand enough in my life and i will NOT let anyone else experiance what i did at the hands of others hatefull actions and words. even if you dont agree with them. just leave them alone.

you can bring awareness to someones actions, but do not harass them. it wont fix anything.

Alright, so you guys know I don’t make personal posts, but this is something I need people to see. 

So I recently started playing D&D, using D&D Beyond and Discord to play with a group online. There were four party members including myself and the DM, who goes by Arbiter_Devour on D&DB. Now, I’m not subtle about being asexual, and even less subtle about being romantically attracted to girls, so by the end of the first session it was pretty common knowledge that I’m the Local Gay.

A few days after the first session, I get this message from the DM:

(edited to remove my name and profile pic)

For clarity, he did NOT send a d*ck pic. I can’t tell if he would have had I not responded immediately, but I did not want to run the risk.

As you can see, it’s deeply inappropriate, and he wouldn’t take my initial reaction seriously. 

I didn’t want to start any unnecessary drama, and I liked playing with the rest of the group, so I settled for setting strict boundaries and letting it slide this once.

He also tried to mansplain and downplay the message he sent me. In hindsight, I can tell he didn’t take me seriously at all, but at the time I was willing to let that go.

After a few hours I still felt weird about it, and realised that if I kept this quiet I would be in a vulnerable position, so I sent these screenshots to a close friend of mine. His response was to tell me to share it with the group immediately, but again, I didn’t want to cause unnecessary trouble, and I was worried that I wouldn’t be taken seriously. My friend and I did agree that I should let the DM know that a repeat of this wouldn’t be accepted, just to make my stance on this behaviour unquestionable. If this happened again, I would post the screenshots in the Discord server we were using. This is what happened:

Once again, I tried to be as civil as possible while asserting my stance. You can see that he got defensive, again trying to downplay his own actions and taking no responsibility. He also initially misread my message, thinking I had already put them in the group chat, and tried to convince me I was overreacting.

For extra fun, also notice that I reminded him that I am asexual, and that he put the word in quotation marks. I love it when people refuse to take my sexual orientation seriously. 

I also explained that I have been harassed before, which he also put in quotation marks. What a great dude *heavy sarcasm*. I love that for me.

Another course of action my friend and I agreed on was to contact the other female member of the group (who I’ll call Katya here), to see if he had sent this to her as well. To be honest, if he had I would have published the screenshots there and then.

Thankfully, Katya hadn’t received anything from him, but she agreed that it was creepy. She made sure I was ok, asked me if I was still good to play the next session, and asked me if she could tell her friend, who was also in the group (I said ok). The second session went through without any problems, thankfully.

A couple of days ago, I was chatting to one of the other members of the group (who I’ll refer to as Alex), when we realised that the server was gone. Alex messaged the DM, but he was vague and neither of us trusted him to be honest, so I reached out to some people in the group who had just left. I won’t go into detail, as this isn’t for me to share, but suffice it to say that the DM and his friends were being disrespectful and refusing to take accountability. Sounds very familiar. Obviously, he had lied to Alex about the situation as well.

At this point, I also decided to message the last member of our group (I’ll call him Kent), to inform him of the whole situation. He was pissed about what had happened, and was more than ready to kick the DM out and just find a new one, which we all agreed to. 

So yeah, that’s the situation. I told my sister about it as well and she was just about ready to kill the guy. So the moral is: If you use D&D Beyond, look out for Arbiter_Devour. Do not play with him. He’s a horrible person who has managed to lose all of his campaigns within two weeks, and if you’re a woman he is a threat to you. He lives in the CST zone in the US, but the group I’m in us UK based.

To close out, just a quick safety reminder: Be careful who you talk to online. Trust your instincts; if they tell you something is off, run. If you get a message like I did from anyone in your group, put your foot down, make it public. Leave if you don’t feel safe. Don’t give them your real name if you can help it (I gave the people in my group a nickname that sounds nothing like my real one). 

I can finally let you guys know that one of the people behind my harassment has been caught. They have been punished by their guild and have admitted that it is a group of people doing this to me. I am still waiting on Customer Service to reply.

…..Okay you know, commenting on Anon, and me having dealt with a lot of shit: 

yes, sure, lack of closure/etc. is upsetting.

As someone who’s lived through decent periods of “I just want closure” used as a “reason” to get angry, triangulate others, “why it’s okay to seek other means of contact on someone who’s trying to avoid contact”, etc?

This comment doesn’t really change anything about reblogging that or about the point being valid that if you need someone out of your life, *you are not responsible for them*, and expecting someone else to owe “closure” and be subject to demands for their reasons is not actually okay!  Because if someone doesn’t want to argue/debate whether or not their reasons are “valid”, they are not obligated to start that conversation.  I have had “I want closure/reasons” used to turn into never-ending “reasonable” chains of dissecting why my feelings/desires/etc. weren’t *really* valid.  Was it a situation where the fear that it would turn into that was valid and this other person you felt compelled to anon-message me on behalf of would’ve gone “Oh, okay, sorry to have upset you, take care, I’ll respect your boundaries and not pursue”?  FUCK IF I KNOW.  

Is it something where I definitely know from experience why someone would be afraid of someone NOT accepting their reasons for wanting out of a relationship/cutting off a friendship/whatever and NOT want to give reasons/”closure”/explanations because they don’t want to start that rodeo or for whatever reason are afraid of that rodeo happening?

HELL YES.  

If someone doesn’t want to give you explanations/reasons/”closure”, and is cutting ties and upset enough to be blocking contact, if you have any respect for them whatsoever, JUST BLOODY WALK AWAY.  They’re upset and apparently hurting and getting away and you wanting them to give you explanations or reasons is only going to make things worse.  

If your happiness and health is dependent on “this other person must give me closure and other people interacting in a way I want”, you probably want to go talk to someone or think long and hard about your own self esteem or something and whether or not it’s really necessary to your survival and happiness that someone else start a conversation potentially debating their reasoning/feelings/health/sense of safety.

I feel like I should attach another reblog of that set of tweets that goes around Twitter about “did you try to find out why they were running away?”  “Dude, if someone is running away from you, just…let them go”.  

Edit/addition:

IF SOMEONE’S REASONS FOR CUTTING TIES WITH YOU ARE SORTA STUPID OR HURTFUL, WHY DO YOU WANT TO CONTINUE CONTACT WITH THEM TO BEGIN WITH?

IF SOMEONE’S REASONS FOR CUTTING TIES WITH YOU ARE VALID, WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO VERY LIKELY MAKE AN ARGUMENT OF IT?

A girl completely obsessed with characters, and guess who is apparently included? That's right, Jack Spicer.

Now, I don't find it weird when someone does OC x Canon or even self-shipping, but what’s sickening is the way she expresses herself, even stating that she is mentally ill. She makes Gacha edits and drawings of gre with Jack, killing off other characters that make her jealous, and she posts the disgusting things she does with Jack.

Besides being disgusted, I'm worried because she explicitly states she is a minor, which is the main reason why I won’t drop her name or expose her TikTok account, though you might have seen her on DeviantArt.

I don't think a kid should be doing this kind of stuff.

I blocked her because it genuinely scares me that she might discover my existence and do those bizarre things to me, on top of harassing me 🫤

I feel like this is the exact profile of an average fan who would stalk me. It looks like she hasn't even watched the show, it's not even from her generation; she just liked the design one day and became obsessed in such an unhealthy way.

I just saw a video where, through her character, she was screaming that Jack was real, that he wasn't just a character.

And as the total nerd I am, I was about to comment: "Hey, but the real Jack Spicer actually exists." Man, I'm so glad I checked the profile before interacting, this is terrifying.

I mean, as a non-sharing self-shipper, one jokes about being obsessed with their F/O—sure, I have him everywhere, we love Jack.

But a mind so young romanticizing things like harassment, violence, and gre, covering it up with cutecore?

The whole thing is very messed up. I hope this girl doesn't pop up on your feed, and I hope she doesn't find my socials either, but if you see her, I think the best move is what I’ve seen others do: don't give her any attention.

It's fine for someone to explore their creativity, but as adults, we have to stop these behaviors somehow, even if it's passively without interacting.

Because I don't think she would take it well if I, someone who ships myself with Jack, even spoke to her.

I am not getting involved ✋🏻

I don't want my character being drawn dism*mbered too, thank you very much.

I'm only mentioning this because I read too many times people saying the fandom is too small to have so many people harassing; well, I think this is one of those cases where the person is not an adult and thinks this is okay.

So anyway apparently what happened is my mom was going down one isle, about to turn into another one when this random ass dude decides out of nowhere to say to my mom (quoted from her) “Mam you have a nice ass. I’m from the south and its been awhile since I’ve seen a nice black woman’s ass, but you have a nice ass, its juicy” (Note: my mom is white as white can be, but she is packing in the back so I’ll give the guy that I guess). So anyway my mom is very justifiably weirded out by this random man paying her a “compliment” in such a way and her discomfort is apparently showing on her face when she turns into the next isle, which just so happens is where a disabled gentlemen is situated in such a way where he happens to be blocking mom’s path. She proceeds to go around this man, still weirded out by the encounter with the last one, but a woman behind the disabled man misinterprets my mothers expression completely and gets it in her head that my mom is making this weirded out uncomfortable expression because she’s uncomfortable with the disabled mans mere existence, and proceeds to yell at my mom for just that. Well my poor mother was so sideswiped by this turn of events, and so convinced that there was no way she could adequately explain the real reason behind her expression that they would believe her, that she just booked it out of there and let them think that she was disabled hating trash.