#happybf

So I made it through my first week of CrossFit. What an experience. 

Some things I didn’t expect: 

1) Smiling - I mean really? Who am I? A Disney character? The coolest feeling though was running a 5k at dawn. For the record, I literally never thought I would say that in my life. Normal Mandy hates running and early morning. So go figure. 

2) How I would deal with the competition element of this workout world - I’m the kid who double faulted in tennis not because I can’t serve, but because my brain kinda sucks. Therefore I am craftily going at 5:45am; I never see other scores and the classes are minuscule.  

3) Waking up successfully - Let me reiterate this: I loathe waking up in the morning. Cody, my brother, has been going on about “If you just got up earlier before that next REM cycle it would be easier”. What a load of- never mind- he’s totally right- Whatever.

Some things I did expect:

1) Nearly crying from frustration and occasionally the thrill of success - I have exercise induced asthma. I remember the first time I had an asthma attack in the 6th grade; I was utterly bewildered and frightened. That was the original seed of discontent. Not being able to breathe created the rift between me and my body. Up until then I was a carefree combo. Self and form, form and self bestest buds 4 ever. Now, I am reliant on the proximity of my inhaler which is fertile ground for self-hate. When my body can’t perform like my mind envisions, pervasive disappointment wells up and frequently exits via my tear ducts. I have yet to cry in class, but I’m walking the line. The worst is when my trainer reads the internal battle and supports me. Absolutely slays. I may have to someday explain to him the tendency to cry when people are nice to me when I’m upset.

2) Deciding to be Ms. Personality as a cover for my actual weakness - My first class was at a convenient 9am with lots more people. I cheered and hoorayed despite being the last. I reread this and it sounds like I want a pat on the back, “Hey, way to not be a stick in the mud, Mandy.” This is not my intent. It’s the decision to accept where I’m at and to not take other people’s fitness levels personally. Put more simply: I’m an apple and everyone else is also produce, so be cool. 

3) My level of sore - I hurt everywhere. Please don’t look at me too hard. 

Okay, let’s talk about my stats. This July I was working out at home and monitoring my eating (see all the down arrows from 7/28). Then I went to Asia for a month with my bestie. I ATE ALL THE FOOD AND DRINK. IT WAS GLORIOUS. I came home to one measly week to finish getting ready for the school year and reorient myself and my life. These events are reflected in my numbers below: an apparent explosion of T&A. The weirdest baseline ever.

High five. 

More to come next week on the workout front.