#hanboba

Something for Solofett week! Prompt was Death Threats .... this is a loose interpretation 😅

Han hires Boba Fett to help him deal with a guy who wont stop sending bounty hunters after him. Han could only afford Boba's consultation fee, actually. He's hoping to flirt for his life and charm Boba into giving him some more practical help. Its ....... almost kind of working. To Boba Fett's horror.

han, completely sober: *sighs* well, looks like it's just me and you against the world, boba.

boba, going to his room: nope, just you. *shuts door*

So, the thing about a HanBoba drunk Space Vegas wedding is that it's totally feasible. Sure, they'll try and kill each other if left alone in a room together (or even if they're not alone), but that's easily remedied by getting them drunk. Give 'em both a few drinks, and then a few more, and Han's grumpy sarcastic exterior will melt off to reveal a ridiculously soft marshmallow-like interior, just as Boba's grumpy taciturn exterior will melt off to reveal an equally grumpy, equally taciturn interior, but this time without the seething, venomous hatred he bears for Han.

(This is the point at which they inevitably make out, at which point they also inevitably decide to get married— because, like, reparations, or the joy of being alive after a sarlaac/carbonite or something. They're drunk. Don't expect it to make sense.)

So the wedding goes swimmingly. They buy rings from a convenient space roadside vendor, get married by another convenient space roadside vendor, spend an egregious amount of money on a space hotel room because both of them forgot where theirs were. They then fall asleep.

The problem is the divorce.

Because, look— they are very, very drunk when they get married. (They have to be, otherwise they'd be trying to kill each other, Han via sarcasm and Boba via weapons.) They are, in fact, blackout drunk. So when they wake up on the first day of a three day hangover, they don't remember anything.

All they know is this: everything hurts and they're dying, they woke up next to that dick who shoved them into a sarlaac/froze them in carbonite, and they each have a very cheap looking wedding ring on.

Really, all they've got to do is find out if they signed anything last night that would make it legal. Unfortunately, that would require them to be fully capable of moving without vomiting, which they are not.

Five hours later, they are capable of moving without committing various vomit-related crimes against the carpeting, but as they are once again not drunk, they have no intention of being the slightest bit friendly with the other person. It does, of course, devolve into a fistfight.