#half-shell heroes

1. 1987

Absolutely adorable. My latent grandmotherly instincts are activated; these guys make me understand Splinter like nothing else. Adopting them through the screen as we speak

2. Mutant Mayhem

Baby children made of play-doh. Very cute, very pinchable.

3. Half-Shell Heroes

Yes, they're basically just 2012 but I'm giving them their own entry because their cheeks are much more pinchable here imo.

4. Teen Titans Go!

Look how much cheek there is to pinch. Very friend shaped

5. Tales

Yes, they're the Mutant Mayhem guys, but they're a lil less pinchable in this style 😞. Alas, still cute and near the top of the list.

6. 2012

I like their round heads.

7. Sushi Turtles

Cute but gremlins.

8. Rise

Very cute, but not as much cheek to pinch. And I think Donatello might shoot me with a gun.

9. Mirage

Ok LISTEN. I know most probably don't agree with me on this but look at the way their cheeks stick out so prominently. They're just cute little guys. They're not even THAT violent in most of the comics either, I think I would live to tell the tale.

10. 2003

Not quite as pinchable but still very much cutie patooties

11. Last Ronin

I might die, and he's not all that 'cute', but I think sad old men need cheek pinches too

12. 2007

Ok now we're getting into less pinchable territory. These guys look sweaty all the time, and somehow more bald than any other incarnation. But the fact that they're animated puts them above everyone below.

13. 1990s movies

These suits have pretty good articulation, which puts them above every other live action version. But their cheeks do not look satisfying to pinch at all. It would just be rubbery.

14. Next Mutation

Ugly af, but at least I'm not afraid of them

15. Image

They're quite ugly in this style, and I can't imagine either of us would enjoy the experience of me pinching them. But their cheeks are still somewhat pinchable

16. Turtle Christmas

Their mouths are eternally open in screams of agony, and their cheeks are once again rubbery af. Would not be satisfying. Also why are they so veiny

17. Coming out of their Shells

Absolutely horrifying, even worse than the Christmas special. 0.1/10 cheek pinching experience, I'd imagine

18. Bayverse

https://www.amazon.com/dp/0399553754/ref=cm_sw_r_tw_dp_x_ECzyzbYV04CT4

The Smell of Victory! (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) by Random House