Human Hal and Dirk as twins that cannot for the love of god leave their Bro the fuck alone. It’s a competition. They are in war regarding this guy.
Dirk plays the cautious angle, don’t lay it on too thick and scare the guy off, but present with more sensuality than maybe necessary- less shirts, more euphemism, give information regarding his habits when it’s not needed. Present the concept of ‘Dirk Strider’ in an attractive, lurid way so that he’ll cave one day.
Hal’s angle is to just. Be as direct as possible. It’s surprising how much this gets no progress just like Dirk. He’s slotting innuendo into every possible corner, he’s telling Dave that he’d be happy to keep him company if he’s lonely wink, he’s offering to show off, asking and negging and needing.
Dave is in denial about every piece of this. Dirk’s just not very good with understanding social norms and Hal’s doing whatever he can for attention— of course he knows it’s not great to let it continue but it’s harmless! They’re not serious and it’s fine. It’s fine.
He’s none the wiser to the fact it’s a pretty big issue. Like beyond the obvious problems with having Dirk and Hal pursue him romantically or sexually, the two of them will try to kill each other for it.
Granted, they try to kill each other over everything. But Hal talks about how Dave hasn’t dismissed his multiple comments regarding his physique, and Dirk tells him it’s out of pity and that he’s doing it because Hal’s desperate and sad. Hal tells Dirk to khs and references how little reciprocation Dirk has gotten just to be met with a comment about how Dave was “totally looking at his chest earlier, it’s about subtlety—“ and then they’re choking each other on the floor of the living room and being weird about it.
