#haelover

“Let go of me” Caitlin tried to throw Barry off “I could kill you!” Caitlin released Barry's hands and jumped away, trying to put between them as much distance as possible. One moment she was trying to get away, then she didn’t see anything, a bright blue light taking hold of her sight and then there was blackness. She blacked out, the next thing she knows, she was on her back, staring up at the ceiling of the med bay at STAR Labs.

Barry hung over her, concern writing all over his face, -Oh sweet irony, how many times had Caitlin done the same thing? How many sleepless nights she passed by his side hoping for the impossible? Sadly she realizes she may never get the chance to do it again. “How’re you feeling?”

Caitlin narrowed her eyes, “How am I feeling?” she mocked “How do you think I feel?” She shot up to a sitting position as everything around her started spinning, she flung her arm out blindly in an attempt to grab anything to center herself. She was aiming for the cold metal of the bed frame, but instead, she was greeted with the warmth that Barry so easily offered to her. Damn this boy! Would he never learn? Why does he insist on risking his life for her?

“I think you feel exhausted, frustrated, powerless, but most of all, I think you feel scared.” Caitlin calmly goes to her feet, trying to put as much distance between as the small room allows it, “Of course I’m scared, Barry! Didn’t you saw it? You were there! I can't control my powers anymore! You told me you didn’t want to lock me up because we didn’t know for sure if I couldn’t control them, well back there, that was the sign you were waiting for. I’m just sorry it wasn’t what you were hoping it to be.”

Caitlin’s word sank in slowly, taking a minute to get past his crushing heart. “Cait.. it doesn’t have to be this way.” He tried to plead with her, to make her understand that locking her up in the pipeline wasn’t the way to deal with her powers. “There is no other way Barry, I'm dangerous to the people of Central City… to you. I have to leave.” The resignation in her voice, drained the blood from his body, making his knees gave out.

Caitlin caught him, not been available to stand watching the man she loves break because of her; because she wasn't strong enough to control her powers. “You mean…? You don’t…?” He couldn't finish his sentences.

“There’s nothing you can do for me, it's too late," Caitlin told him, surprisingly gentle, and that scared Barry more than anything. “In order to protect the people I love, I have to be put away for good.” Barry wanted to laugh. A mad, hysterical laugh at the comic book his life seemed to have become, don’t get him wrong, he loves being The Flash, but he loves her even more. “So, am I supposed to just let you do it? Did you really thought I would give up on you… us so easily?”

Caitlin stared down at her hands. They looked the same, and yet she could harness unthinkable power. Could she really stop her powers from guiding her thru the same fate as her doppelganger? Could she accidentally hurt someone in a moment of weakness? Her mind instantly went to hurting Barry during a tender moment together, hurting him while being weak. What would happen if she gets mad? Would she lose all sense of reason and attack those she loved?

She felt sick.

She hadn't asked for this. She didn’t want to be a meta, she was fine without powers. Tears burned her eyes, from anger or sadness she couldn’t tell, but she refused to let them fall. “I can’t do this Barry!” Caitlin tried to run away, to leave him behind and never come back, to save him from her. But Barry was too fast for her and before she could get to the door, he had her in his arms.

“That’s the thing, Caitlin, your don’t have to do it alone, you have Joe, Cisco, and Iris; even Team Arrow if you ask them... You have me, and as long as were together you won't have to face your demons alone, not now, not ever.” The future didn’t bode well for them and that had her on edge. If Barry was her savior, who was going to save him?

Caitlin tried to push him away, but he had enough, it was time to make her understand “Cait. I won't let you go. Never.”

“What if I attack you?” He shook his head. “I know you will never do that.” Caitlin shot him an arch look. “But what if I can’t control them? What if  I succumb to the coldness slowly growing inside me?”

“You won’t,” he protested, slowly touching her cheek, making her look at his eyes. “And you want to know why I know that?” Caitlin nod, lost in his emerald orbs, so full of love and faith in her. “You’re not like her. Your powers may be cold, but your heart isn’t, I know that right now you feel like your drowning, but let me help you swim, let me be with you. I love you, Caitlin Snow. I know that if we face this together we will be available to win this, we’ll be available to control your powers.”

- It was a chilly morning, around 4:30 am and she couldn’t sleep. She had that dream again, And just like every other time Barry was always there in a heartbeat, ready to give her the comfort she so desperately needs, and it make her wonder what she did to deserve a man like Barry Allen. And it’s in those times where Barry it's at her side giving her comfort. no questions ask when she realizes something, she wants to be the best she can be, she wants to give him her all, she wants to make him proud. She’s done running, it may be frustrating and trying, she's not a natural when it comes to controlling her abilities, she envies Barry for that. But she wants to make it right, to control them, and not let them control her.

She wants to be happy.

“Are you  okay, Cait?”

“Yes, I'm fine, it is gone now.”

He helps her get back to bed, wrapping his arms around her as soon as her head hits the pillow, comforting her until she falls back to sleep.

I can do this…

She falls into a dreamless sleep, but tomorrow is a new day and for the first time in a long time, she's not afraid of what tomorrow may bring, because as long as they are together, nothing can bring them down.

We can do this.