#gss25

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^ songs in plain text in image id

{The Bastard of the Barrel and a mercher’s son make an unlikely pair. But they make it work. Aka: 5 times the Crows suspect something’s going on with Kaz and Wylan and 1 time they know for sure. Song: “Bloom”, The Paper Kites}

note that this takes place in a canon-divergent universe where the crows live together and that's it (no parem, no ice court heist, etc). they're still criminals though. feel free to come up with actual lore and a way to fit it alongside canon, because i sure didn't.

4106 words

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I. Jesper In the morning when I wake And the sun is coming through Oh, you fill my lungs with sweetness And you fill my head with you

“I’m going to kill myself,” Wylan groans, sliding down the wall with his hands over his face.

Kaz gives him an appraising look over the top of his book before sighing and snapping it shut. The other boy is now huddled on the ground, hands raking through his already messy hair. Kaz isn’t one for comfort and introspection, but he gets up from his chair and makes his way over to Wylan.

The apartment they’re occupying is empty save for the two of them, its creaky floors and leaky ceiling providing a quiet symphony to accompany Kaz’s gruff, “You can’t kill yourself. You’re my best demo man. Do you know how hard it is to find a good demo man?”

Wylan looks up, eyes wide. “You only want me around because I’m good at blowing things up?”

“No,” Kaz admits, though it sounds like the statement pains him. “I want you around because I just do. But also you’re a very worthwhile investment.”

It’s almost an inside joke now, the investment thing. Inej had wasted no time telling the other Crows about it and now Kaz will never live it down. But if it’s a way for him to tell his friends he cares without feeling like he’s choking on the sickly-sweet ‘I-love-you’s, then so be it.

Wylan cracks a small smile, which is a win in Kaz’s book, but he still looks out of it. So Kaz heaves a sigh and shuffles closer, using the wall for support as he lowers himself to the ground and stretches his bad leg out in front of him.

He leaves a decent space between him and Wylan, figuring that if the other boy wants physical touch, he’ll make the move himself. Sure enough, Wylan scoots closer until his thigh is touching Kaz’s.

“Is this okay?” he whispers, looking up at Kaz with concern in his eyes.

Kaz nods. He appreciates that everyone takes care to make sure he’s comfortable, but Wylan has always been better than the rest. Despite the fact that he might be the most physically intimate with everyone else—he’s a very touchy feely person, almost as much as Jesper if not more—he never hesitates to move away if he senses Kaz isn’t in the mood.

They sit like this for a while, Wylan slowly lowering his head onto Kaz’s arm and letting out a pitiful sigh, like that of a puppy.

“What was it this time?” Kaz asks, breaking the silence.

“Nothing,” Wylan says quickly, before adding, with another sigh, “Everything.”

Kaz raises an eyebrow. “That doesn’t sound like nothing, then.”

“My father-”

“Say no more,” Kaz practically spits. “I’ll have him violently dismembered. Ripped limb from limb. But not before I tell him exactly how much he can shove his pompous-”

Wylan cuts him off with a choked laugh. “No, Kaz. No violence, no threatening, no dismemberment. Please.”

“But he…” Kaz trails off. “He did this.”

“No, I’m just, you know. Letting him get in my head. He didn’t actually do anything.”

“Except traumatize you for life, apparently,” Kaz mutters, but he drops it in favor of threading his fingers through Wylan’s hair. Skin to skin contact is a big no-no still, but when they’re fully clothed and he’s got his gloves on and it’s clear that Wylan is a living, breathing human being, it’s not that bad. He can keep the freezing waters at bay.

Wylan lets out another sigh, except this time it sounds more like a sigh of pleasure than a sigh of annoyance or despair. Kaz just keeps fluffing Wylan’s hair, gazing into the distance and envisioning Van Eck’s violent dismemberment silently instead.

It’s only when Jesper walks into the room—he really was losing his touch; the Wraith sneaking up on them he understood, but Jesper?—that he realizes that his leg and arm have fallen asleep from the weight, his butt hurts from sitting on the floor, and his fingers have long since stilled, tangled in Wylan’s hair.

He shifts slightly, trying to get blood flowing back into his stiff limbs, but then freezes when he realizes that Wylan is fast asleep. A quick glance out the window shows a darkened street, meaning the rest of the Crows will be back soon. Right, he thinks to himself. This totally isn’t a compromising position.

Jesper is still gaping at them on the floor, seemingly unable to form any kind of intelligent thought.

“What?” Kaz hisses at him.

“You’re- I mean, what? How? Why are you on the floor?”

A perfectly arched eyebrow goes up. “I fell here, of course. Felt too comfy to get up.”

Jesper huffs out a sigh, but he turns around to leave. As he disappears around the corner, Kaz can see him shaking his head in disbelief.

But when he’s absolutely sure Jesper is gone, Kaz leans down to give Wylan a quick peck on the cheek…

and then he wakes him up.

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II. Inej Shall I write it in a letter? Shall I try to get it down? Oh, you fill my head with pieces Of a song I can’t get out

“I don’t understand!” Jesper whisper-shouts. “One minute Kaz is acting like the only reason he doesn’t let Wylan starve on the street is because he can blow things up, and the next he’s sitting on the floor letting him sleep? What kind of witchcraft is this?”

Inej laughs, shooting Nina a look. Jesper glares at them balefully, looking to Matthias instead for backup.

The blonde merely shakes his head, holding up his hands in innocence. “I’m not a part of this,” he protests.

Jesper rolls his eyes. “Come on. They’re our friends. They would tell us if they were hiding something, right?”

Nina and Inej’s next shared glance is less than encouraging.

-----

Inej’s job is intel. And she’s very, very good at her job. And what she’s doing isn’t technically spying, it’s just gathering intel. At least, that’s what she tells herself when she’s inching her way out the window, carefully slotting herself just below the sill. 

This is the window she comes and goes from frequently, her preferred method of entering and exiting Kaz’s office. Right now, though, it’s her way to get to the bottom of this Kaz and Wylan stuff. Neither of the boys is in the building at the moment, but she’s expecting Kaz home sometime soon.

Wylan’s been extremely tight-lipped about where he’s going today, and she suspects it’s because he’s not comfortable sharing whatever it is with the rest of them. Which, fine. It’s fine. He’s entitled to his privacy.

It’s not like she’s going to tell anyone.

She just wants to know. Her muscles tense as she hears the unmistakable sound of Kaz’s door opening and two—two!—sets of footsteps entering the room.

It takes all her willpower not to peek over the sill and see who it is. She’s not in the business of just assuming things, after all. But all doubt is dispelled when she hears Wylan’s hushed voice.

“So you want a bigger flash-bang?” he asks.

Inej almost falls off the ledge in disappointment. Explosives! They were just talking about explosives.

Kaz’s reply is punctuated by the sounds of him cleaning his hands in his little basin of water. Inej has seen him do this countless times, but-

Wait.

He took off his gloves in front of Wylan. He’d probably taken off his shirt in front of Wylan (or maybe he just did that because he knew it irritated Inej). Granted, neither of those options meant that they were…what, dating? Hooking up?

But it was odd, to say the least.

She tunes back into the conversation long enough to hear Kaz say, “Non-lethal, if you can.”

Wylan scoffs. “Non-lethal? Who are you and what have you done with Kaz Brekker?”

Kaz’s reply is equally teasing, a softness in his tone that Inej rarely hears. “Nothing. I don’t kill for fun, you know.”

“Yeah, and I can read you a novel. I’ll work on the non-lethals, maybe get them to you tomorrow if I go to the lab tonight.”

The noise of assent Kaz makes is quiet, but Inej, practically holding her breath to avoid giving herself away with some sort of triumphant noise, picks it up.

Ghezen, she thinks. Maybe Jesper’s onto something after all.

Footsteps again, this time moving back towards the door.

Then Kaz: “Wait.”

Wylan’s response is back to teasing. “What? I gotta get to work on those flash-bangs. Make your investment worth it.”

“Don’t blow your hand off, you insufferable menace.”

Wylan’s laugh, a gleeful bark that tears from his throat like he doesn’t have a care in the world, is music to her ears.

But she’s beginning to think it’s even more magical to Kaz.

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III. Nina Can I take it to a morning Where the fields are painted gold And the trees are filled with memories Of feelings never told

Nina’s loves include waffles, her family, and feeling sexy (in that order). So when she wakes up in the morning and finds Wylan cooking waffles, she almost explodes. “I love you,” she says, giving him a massive hug.

He laughs, wiggling out from her grasp to go back to monitoring his waffles. “You’re up early,” he teases.

“My waffle-o-meter went off,” she replies, leaning around him to get a good look at her precious babies.

He jokingly pushes her away, pointing at the mismatched table and chairs with a clear command to go sit down. She flounces over, claiming her chair while keeping an eye on the waffles. “Wait-” she realizes. “Why are you awake?”

Wylan turns away, back to the wafflemaker, but not before she sees his cheeks and ears turn red. “Just…working on the bombs,” he mutters.

Inej had told Nina in a whisper about the conversation she’d overheard, the teasing tones between Kaz and Wylan that the boys don’t usually use. But they both agree that the boys are entitled to their privacy, so neither of them wants to push.

“How are the bombs coming?” she asks instead, wiggling her eyebrows.

He’s still facing away, but she’s certain he caught her tone anyway. “It’s good,” he replies. “Kaz wants some non-lethals, so I’ve been working on those.”

She shakes her head. “What is that trickster planning now?”

Shrugging, Wylan unplugs the waffle maker and plates the waffles. Sliding them in front of Nina, he answers, “Some job, probably.”

“Non-lethal, though?”

“Dunno.”

She jumps up to give him another hug, then digs into her waffles happily. She’s only eaten a couple bites, though, when Kaz comes in. He’s not looking at her, and she fully watches as his face lights up. He schools his expression into something resembling indifference when he spots Nina sitting at the table, eating waffles with wide eyes.

But she doesn’t miss the way his posture is less stiff as he moves towards Wylan, his cane tapping along the floor. Wylan’s smile, in turn, is even sunnier than the one he’d given her earlier.

Glancing between them, Nina picks up her plate and inches out of the room slowly. Whatever’s going on between them, she does not want to be a third wheel.

As she leaves, though, she sneaks a glance over her shoulder and is not disappointed. She watches Wylan pull out Kaz’s chair, a gentlemanly gesture that seems to hold extra weight this morning. Kaz smiles, a real, genuine smile, as he takes his seat.

And as the door swings closed, Nina watches Kaz’s gloved hand cover Wylan’s. Neither of them pulls away.

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IV. Matthias When the evening pulls the sun down And the day is almost through Oh, the whole world it is sleeping But my world is you

Nina is not known for her ability to keep secrets. So when she pulls Matthias into her room, closes the door, and promptly spills every detail collected by her and Inej over the past few days about Wylan and Kaz, he’s not particularly surprised. 

He is surprised, though, that they’re freaking out over something with basically zero concrete proof. “They’re friends,” he protests. “Why does that automatically mean they must be hooking up?”

“It doesn’t,” Nina sighs. “But it’s odd, right?”

“Odd,” Matthias agrees, “but it does not mean anything and you know it.”

She shrugs, flouncing over to the door and swinging it open. Right before she walks out, she adds, “Well, maybe just look a little closer. You’re a guy, you might catch something us women miss.” She gives him a wink and slides around the corner and out of sight.

As much as he doesn’t think Kaz and Wylan are actually dating in secret, he is intrigued. So that’s how Matthias finds himself wandering the upstairs hallway later that day, listening intently for signs of life. Kaz is out doing who knows what, and Wylan he knows is at the lab blowing things up. They hopefully won’t be back until after the sun goes down.

He’s not necessarily looking for anything in particular, but as he sneaks into Wylan’s room, he has to pause and think about what he possibly is expecting. The boy’s room is exactly like he imagined, a bit messy but in a lived-in way. There’s sheet music scattered all over the floor, both printed like professional pieces and some that look handwritten.

Careful not to touch anything, Matthias treads lightly as he picks his way through the room to the desk in the corner. Though Wylan prefers to do most of the chemistry in the lab lest he damage anything in his room, there’s a few vials propped up on the edge of the desk. Like most of Wylan’s things, they’re labelled with music notes so he can read them.

Except for one.

It’s maybe not what he was anticipating—which, what was he hoping for? A note that clearly reads “Kaz and Wylan are dating”?—but it’s something nonetheless. Something, at least that is clearly labelled in Kaz’s writing, not Wylan’s.

The notes are a little shaky, placed awkwardly like Kaz didn’t really know how to space them, but it’s unmistakably a Wylan-style label not in Wylan’s handwriting. Namely, Kaz’s. Matthias isn’t entirely sure how he knows it’s Kaz’s and not, say, Jesper’s, but he does.

Maybe it’s the spikiness of the drawing, maybe it’s the pen that was used, but he’s certain the label was made by the demjin himself. And…that means literally nothing. He sags with defeat, having dug up the exact same amount of evidence that he’d laughed at the girls about: zero.

Kaz’s office is next, so he sneaks up another flight of stairs and carefully eases the door open. Kaz has been leaving it unlocked more and more now that they’re the only people in the building, but Matthias still breathes a sigh of relief when the knob turns under his touch.

Much like Wylan’s room, the office matches perfectly with Kaz’s personality and vibe. It’s a cold, impersonal space, but there are little touches here and there that hint at the human-ness of the person who inhabits it. The first place he checks is the desk, where all he finds are stacks of papers filled with numbers and words and ‘sign here’s.

Disgusted, he moves to close the drawer without disturbing anything, but a small scrap of paper falls out. Picking it up gingerly, Matthias squints at the words scrawled on it in Kaz’s handwriting. “Wylan gift,” it reads.

Gift? There are no major holidays coming up, as far as Matthias knows, at least any that would include gift giving. And Wylan’s birthday has long since passed, so that’s not it either. Maybe Wylan is making him a gift? Was this just code for more bombs?

Matthias sighs, sliding the scrap back into the stack it fell out of and closing the desk drawer. Perhaps he shouldn’t have judged the girls too harshly for jumping to conclusions. Kaz and Wylan, if they really were dating, weren’t making it easy to find out. It was all too simple to take a few hints and spin them into a whole tangle of yarn.

Just then, he hears footsteps coming up the stairs. Kaz’s footsteps, if the click of the cane is any indicator. Matthias casts around the room wildly for somewhere to hide, but his big Fjerdan body makes it pretty much impossible to squeeze in anywhere. He clambers out the window awkwardly, unused to navigating on such small ledges but strong enough to hold himself up with ease. He really hopes none of the other Crows are on the street below.

Kaz seems to be alone, since Matthias can’t hear any other footsteps or voices. He listens to the sounds of Kaz washing his hands, pacing about the room, and opening and closing the desk drawer no less than five times.

Fingers starting to ache from holding onto the ledge, Matthias slowly starts climbing down. The mission was a bust anyway. But then there’s a knock at the door, and he hears—who else?—Wylan’s cheery tone. So he stays, straining to eavesdrop while not giving himself away by falling off the wall.

“...missed you,” Wylan is saying.

Kaz replies, “I know,” and Wylan laughs loudly.

It’s quiet for a while, just the sounds of movement and the squeak of the bedsprings. Matthias resists the urge to climb back up and investigate. They clearly weren’t having sex or anything of the sort, so he’s curious as to what they could possibly be doing. But—their privacy. He’d gotten on Nina and Inej for being so nosy, and then promptly found himself outside Kaz’s room in the dark while he eavesdropped on Kaz and Wylan. He shakes his head at himself.

“Is this okay?” he hears Wylan ask. There’s no response, but in the silence that follows, he hears a deep, relaxed sigh as Matthias assumes Kaz gave consent to whatever it was. Wylan’s, he’s pretty sure, because he’s heard Wylan make that kind of noise when he cuddles with someone.

Is that what they were doing? Cuddling? Because if so, maybe Jesper and Nina and Inej were onto something. And maybe Kaz and Wylan were actually happy and safe because they were with each other.

That was a nice thought to have.

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V. Jesper (again) Can I be close to you? Oh-oh-oh-ooh, ooh Can I be close to you? Oh-oh-oh-ooh, ooh

Jesper hears Nina, Inej, and Matthias whispering in the dining room when he comes in, so of course he barges in and demands to know what they’re discussing. As he expected, they’re talking about the Kaz-Wylan situation.

He hadn’t realized they’d taken him so seriously as to go do their own reconnaissance, but as they unpack all the information, he figures out that they actually had a lot more proof than he’d had when he’d first questioned the relationship. But they were so boring! They were fine leaving it be.

As in, they didn’t want to do anything about it. They wanted to “respect Kaz and Wylan’s privacy.” Which, duh, he does too. He also wants to know what’s going on.

“Look,” he says. “Aren’t you a tiny bit curious what they’re hiding?”

“Yes,” Inej says patiently. “But I know they’ll tell us when they feel ready.”

Jesper pouts. “You’re just saying that because you know Kaz tells you everything.”

“He didn’t tell me whatever this is,” she shoots back with a shrug. “So that means he doesn’t want me to know, and I’m respecting his choice.”

“You went to spy on him. And so did you!” He directs the last part at Matthias, who shifts in his seat.

“I was not going to do anything with the information,” Matthias says defensively. “I just wanted to get more information to see if your theory held up.”

“And it did,” Jesper replies triumphantly. “They’re hiding something. Like a relationship.”

“That’s not what any of this means,” Nina tells him. “Wylan jokes around with all of us, he cuddles with all of us, he makes food for all of us. None of that is specific to one person.”

“Yeah, but Kaz doesn’t do any of that with anyone except Wylan.” Frustrated, Jesper jumps to his feet. “We’re missing something here.”

“Maybe that’s good,” Inej says gently. “They’ll let us know when they want to.”

“Just drop it,” Matthias advises. 

Jesper grimaces, but he does. Until he jogs up the stairs to his room and runs into Wylan coming down the stairs. The stairs from Kaz’s room.

Kaz’s room, where Kaz is, where Wylan shouldn’t have been because Wylan was at the lab. Or so he said. Wylan’s face goes bright red, matching the wild mess of hair sticking up in every direction. He hurriedly tries to smooth it down, face still flaming, as Jesper watches in shock.

“Hi,” Wylan says awkwardly before he rushes into his room and closes the door. Jesper wheels around and sprints back to the others, recounting every detail as they look on in patient attentiveness.

“His hair was messed up,” Jesper blurts, “just like it was when I caught Kaz playing with it that one time!”

Nina stifles a laugh. “Jes, have you seen the way Wylan messes with his hair? Knowing him, he did that to himself.”

“Or,” Jesper stresses, “Kaz was combing his fingers through Wylan’s hair, which is not something he does to any of us, and it’s because they’re actually dating and have been hiding it from us.”

“Who’s dating?” Wylan asks as Jesper falls off his stool.

“No one,” Inej says, glaring daggers at Jesper. “He’s being delusional. And invading people’s privacy.”

“Hey!” Jesper cries. “I’m not the invader of privacy here.”

Wylan looks between them with a raised eyebrow, so reminiscent of Kaz’s incredulous looks that the group exchanges a glance with each other. Last time they’d checked, that was not an expression that Wylan normally used. Unless he was spending a lot of time with a certain someone whose mannerisms were starting to rub off on him…

But they let it drop in favor of a late group dinner, and Jesper’s all but forgotten about everything by the time they finally go to bed.

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+1 Can I be close to you?

Kaz and Wylan break the news on a Sunday night. It’s been a few weeks of the Crows sneaking around spying, and while they don’t fully know how many times they’ve been caught together, it’s clear that everyone suspects something. So Wylan suggests coming clean, and surprisingly, Kaz agrees.

Everyone is gathered in the kitchen for another debriefing session—Kaz had caught Jesper lurking outside his office only a few minutes before and they’re clearly meeting to make a new game plan—when Kaz and Wylan walk in.

Holding hands.

Jesper, who had been talking, freezes. Nina’s eyes widen and she jabs Matthias in the side. Only Inej looks unfazed, though whether that’s because she already knew or because she was better at masking her surprise Kaz didn’t know. (Knowing her, either was a solid option).

He just goes about his business like normal, though he keeps a firm grip on Wylan’s hand. He’s still wearing his gloves, but the fact that he’s holding Wylan’s hand is clearly short-circuiting Jesper’s brain. Nina and Matthias both recover quickly, Nina shooting the boys a teasing smile and a wink as Wylan flushes bright red.

Matthias looks a bit stunned, but he pats Wylan on the back gently and whispers “Good job, demjin,” in Kaz’s ear as he passes. Inej is just smiling smugly, so Kaz is pretty sure she figured it out for sure at some point in the past few weeks.

The only one still struck dumb is Jesper, who keeps looking back and forth between them like he can’t figure out whether or not he’s dreaming. “Come on,” Kaz laughs. “You know you were the only one who caught us definitively twice.”

This only serves to make Jesper more stunned, which makes Wylan laugh. “Teasing-” Jesper sputters. “You’re teasing me!”

“So what if I am?” Kaz retorts, looping his arm over Wylan’s shoulders and pulling the other boy closer to his body. “After all, it took an awfully long time for you to figure it out.”