#grumpy levi

One time would be fine, two he could manage. But this was the fifth night in a row. And he tried to pry the blankets from them, but even though they were smaller than him even in frame and height, he couldn’t pull the blankets from them. He puzzled every night about how he, humanities strongest soldier, couldn’t pull some feeble blankets from them. Turning around he wrapped his arms around them waist, pulling their back against his chest. Their body temperature was the only heat he would receiving tonight.

“Good Moring!” (Y/N) beamed at their boyfriend. He was busy signing reports and doing paperwork to prepare for the upcoming expedition. “You know what knocking is, right” he asked, more annoyed than usual. “Yeah, but I also know that I don’t need to” (Y/N) walked over to his desk and leaned against it. “Damn brat”. He didn’t even look at them. (Y/N) furrowed their bros in confusion, he would usually want them on his lap.

“What’s going on with you?” Levi looked up at them, annoyed that they even asked. What was up with him? Oh, I don’t know, maybe the fact that a certain brat has been hogging all the blankets all week??

“Nothing” He grumbled out. They didn’t want to push him more, knowing he didn’t always wanted to talk about his feelings. Its probably going to pass, right?

It has not passed. For every day, he just kept getting grumpier and his eyebags became even bigger. It started to worry (Y/N), what was happening to their boyfriend? “Is it me or is clean freak even more grumpier?” Hange asked, the two of them were sitting outside. Relishing in the rare free time. “I didn’t even know it was possible”. Both chuckled. “But I don’t know! Its so weird!” (Y/N) exclaimed, clearly being bothered by the fact tha t their boyfriend was in a bad mood and wouldn’t talk to them about it, he would just brush it off or walk away. They talked about what might cause it, but none of their suggestion made sense. After some time duty called and their break was over. Back to training the new Cadets!

The next morning was just like the last ones. But Levi was even more grumpier. “What is going on with you!” (Y/N) was tired of his attitude. “Nothing”

“No, its clearly something! You’ve been even more grumpy and annoying this past week, now what is it!”. Levi just looked at them and took a deep sigh. “I haven’t been sleeping much” Confusion plastered on their face, “You never sleep”

“Yeah, but even less now. Cause someone keeps hogging all the blankets” (Y/N) was about to ask who, but the realized. Oh, oh. “Oh my god! I’m so sorry!” (Y/N) walked over and hugged Levi, guilt was eating them up. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner” Levi didn’t get a chance to answer cause (Y/N) was prepping his face in apology kisses.

Sorry ‘Muah’ Sorry ‘Muah’ Sorry ‘Muah’

“You must have been freezing!” Levi pouted at them, looking away. “Are you okay?” He didn’t look at them. Still with his grumpy pout. “What can I do for you to forgive me!” (Y/N) was desperate, not wanting him to be mad at them anymore. “Tea” He muttered out. (Y/N)’s face lightened up. “I will make the greatest tea known to man!” And with that they were gone.

They returned with a steaming hot cup of tea for Levi. “Hey” They eased into his office, nervous smiling at him. Without a word from him, they placed the tea in front of him. He looked at it and took a taste sip, seeing if it was up to his standards. It was, but he didn’t revile it, just nodded at them and continued on his paperwork. “Come ‘on! You cant be mad at me forever! And I did apologize and promised it would never happen again” They walked over to Levi, and sat down on his lap. Kissing along his face and neck, looking up at him with their best puppy eyes. And how could he be mad at those?

“Tch, fine brat. But if that happens ever again, I will punish you” His hand on their hip suggestive it might be a bit of a fun punishment. (Y/N) giggled and kissed his cheek: “Never again!”

....

Levi Ackerman put the cup of hot chamomile tea and made his way to the bookshelf in the living room, curtly glancing at the faint green lights of the clock

2:07 am

If he had found himself in this situation 7 years ago, when he just opened his tea shop and learned his way through the long pile of taxes, invoices and all documents he needed to review on a monthly basis, he would have said 2 am was his peak of productivity. Of course, not without the help of a cup of a hot drink. 

But for the last 3 years, he has been catching up on the countless sleepless nights. He would be already under the dark gray duvet, phone turned off, the alarm set to 5 am. It was a pain in the ass to choose the ringtone that would be loud enough for him to wake up from his sweet dreams, and not too loud to disturb the sleep of the person next to him. 

Hange 

The reason for his circadian rhythms to get back to normal. Ever since they started dating, Levi’s life had been changed. Both positively and negatively. He could not say taking care of Hange was easy. Her dedication to science and work sometimes switched off hunger and sense of time. He lost track of how many times she zoned out during her experiments, ignoring his calls and messages, causing him to freak out not knowing whether she was ok or not. However, Hange was a breath of fresh air, turning his life upside down, showing the beauty of allowing a touch of mess in his plans. She kept him on his toes, presenting another crazy idea or mischief when he expected it the least. Truly, he never knew what could happen the next moment when Hange Zoe was around. 

And tonight she proved it one more fucking time. 

Levi Ackerman was sitting on the couch, drinking his tea instead of sleeping. All because his wife sent him away. 

She’d cast him away from their marital bed 

Never before had Levi Ackerman been shoved out by anyone. Until his wife.   

He was ready to grab his phone and call Mike to rant and it didn’t matter that he would wake his friend up in the middle of the night. What happened was unacceptable. 

Everything started with a simple thing: a habit.  Levi Ackerman had a habit of falling asleep in a particular position. In fact,  he was not able to sleep unless he was in that position. Levi liked to sleep on his left side with his right arm tucked around his wife’s body, right palm  cupping her breast. 

On the occasions when his wife was PMSing and her breasts were sore, he liked to rest his head against her stomach so she could run her fingers through his hair and lull him to sleep. 

Only now the short man couldn’t do either! 

It was because he, as his wife stated, knocked her up  and currently she was carrying the fruit of his loins.  

For some reason, he always assumed it was the fruit of the loom, but his smart wife was so lovely to gently remind him of this expression whenever he refused to buy her favorite snacks no matter what time it was, or when  another of her whims was not satisfied. 

Tonight, after coming back home drained from the long ass meeting, all he wanted was to throw the necktie away and take his favorite position  to fall asleep in. His wife had kicked him away. His shin was still throbbing. Damn, pregnancy mood swings. He could never get used to this chaotic Hange who wanted to cuddle him like a giant stuffed animal now and shove him away the next moment.   

And so he had tried the second position. It was all going well. He’d rested his head against Hange’s round stomach and her fingers had just started to massage his head. 

And then the fruit of his loins delivered a swift kick to Levi’s head. 

Seems like the fruit of his loins did not really like him. So he poked his wife’s stomach back. That would teach the fruit of his loins a lesson. 

And then his wife kicked his shin again, this time much harder. It was immediately followed by him getting shooed from the bed. 

Unbelievable!

The fruit of his loins was not even born yet and he was already scoring against his dad for Hange’s attention. His wife had already turned him into a Mummy’s boy.

Levi was banished from their bed and so here he was, leaning against this ridiculous couch he bought only because his wife liked and insisted on buying. To be precise, she demanded him to indulge her because she was carrying the fruit of his loins. 

Had he known better that the fruit of his loins would turn out to be a  wicked spoiled Mummy’s boy, Levi would have bought the couch that he’d liked. 

Shifting uncomfortably, Levi grudgingly turned another page of the book on his lap. 

"... Tch just because is mama Zacharias I'll do it, but you pay for everything four eyes plus dinner".

"Levi you are an abusive. But it's fine because I'm a good person". Hanji couldn't help but pretend to be sad.

"Pffttt".

"Ow~ you just smiled".

"Shut up Hanjo banjo".

"Yes Sr.". Knowing how annoyed could became Levi Hanji opted to be nice.

It was heavy the traffic at the freeway due of the time of departure for most jobs. Taking the exit to Palomar St. it was also heavy with traffic plus it was crossing the trolley and couldn't keep going. Once they advanced upon reaching the parking lot, the entrance was saturated. There were many cars  everywhere wanting to leave and others to find a spot.

"Ok Levi I'm out, I'll meet you in the line to pay so you choose which cash register do you prefer".

Leaving Hanji in the middle of the parking Levi was lucky to find a free spot fast even if was at the end of the line but he didn't care since it'll be faster to leave once everything was done.

When Levi was inside the store on his left at the display where a beautiful set of casseroles in blue color, Levi's favorite color by the way.

"Oh! There is a new set of casseroles and they have a discount fuck! It would be ideal to try my new recipe of... It does not matter I... I don't need it".

It was one of those seldom moments when Levi wished he can have a boyfriend. No, more than a boyfriend a partner for life. Deep inside Levi wanted his own family. Someone special which he could share everything and anything. Levi wished he could do things together with his man that both will enjoy, feel comfortable to take a shitty while him is brushing his teeth and wouldn't mine, someone to sleep and wake up, hug and do a lots of lovey-dovey stuff even if Levi have a full mouth more than deeper inside he have a sweet heart.

"If only... Tch don't be such a crybaby, don't mine this is cause of the holiday season".

Levi kept walking trying to find Hanji but due to his height or the lack of it he only saw a sea of dancing heads so he went to the cash register.  Once he was trying to choose which was less dirty Hanji was almost next to him.

"Levi~ Come here~ this only have eight people in front, the others that are more to my right have up to twelve people! Come come!".

Levi only took a deep breath, the shopping was not so bad since they have been lucky to do it quickly, since Hanji was not using a basket it  would have been slower. Hanji was holding the pumpkin pies and the bag of nuts all up one of the other.

"Why are you dancing?".

"Levi~ I need to pee!! So hold the pies or I'll wet the floor right here and right now".

"For fuck sake you aren't five-year old anymore... Fucking shitty glasses they just left me and they need to pay".

"Oh fucking crap. I didn't bring my Costco card, hope this four smelly eyes come back fast".

Levi has never distinguished himself in all his life as the most tolerant and sweet person on the planet. So the more he got annoyed the more the tone of his insults went up and up.

To kill the time a little Levi was watching the people who was around him, it was funny sometimes to see what others was buying.

"Can't believe it they're buying six pumpkin pies, tomato soup and broccoli eew disgusting, they'll be shitting all night. Oh that family is really weird, their choice of food 'if you can call it food' will leave them constipated, good fucking luck with that. Oh~ Oh nice clean products, not bad".

Someone behind Levi suddenly smirked, but Levi didn't pay any attention to see who was them.

Before Levi realized he was very close to the cash register, there were only two people in front of him and Hanji was nowhere to be seen.

"C'mon shitty glasses where are you? I don't wanna do the line again".

"Sorry, I do not want to intrude but I heard what you said. If you want to I could let you pay for your products with my card, I wouldn't mine".

"Just what I need a noisy one at least he have a beautiful voice". Turning around to say: no thank you. Levi didn't see it coming. "Oh my fucking God exists". In an instant Levi could see this man was what Levi always had wanted, it could be a reality with this man. Have a beautiful family, a nice house, peace, tranquility, many happy moments, maybe a pet, but above all Levi could see spending his life next to him and love him and be beloved.

"If you don't want to...".

"No no, I do. I mean fuck I'll appreciate your help... My friend went to take a shit but the shit doesn't want to come out".

The tall and blond male smirked, but it wasn't only the sound and the way his mouth curved, his eyes were saying he was amused and something else.

"This is the most dazzling smirk I've ever seen".

"Oh my~". Said the blond giving to Levi a big and delightful smile, he didn't smiled with only his mouth, he smiled his his eyes. His eyes, his big and gorgeous blue eyes, that reflect the blue of the sky, his eyes are like a nice spring day when the sun caresses your skin and suddenly all the cold from the winter is gone and you're feeling warm for the first time in a long time. Levi could feel something melting that he was not sure what it was, but it was inside his chest.

"Wha... Why are you smiling?".

"Because of you. You are very interesting". The tall blond keep staring at Levi like trying to see thoughts and memorize his expression. Usually Levi don't like when people do this but this time it was ok.

"Why? I haven't said anything".

Chuckles. "Yes you have. I don't lie".

"Ok according to you what shit did I said?". Levi was just looking at the blond male with a boring expression.

"Something like: Oh that family is really weird, their choice of food if you can call it food will leave them constipated or nice clean products. And my favorite: This is the most dazzling smirk I've ever seen".

How can even be possible that someone have a killing voice, very sensual and manly Levi not did only blushed, he felt as the temperature of his whole body rose, especially his face, he could feel it burning as if he had a fever.

It wasn't only that. Levi stopped moving and couldn't say or do anything.

"Good evening, everything's all right".

"Good evening. Everything is fine and how are you?".

"Oh, I'm fine Sr, everything go in the same basket?".

"Yes. Thank you".

"Ok Sr your total is $85.75. Are you paying with card or cash?".

"Cash".

"Ok, I receive $100 and your change is $14.25 Happy thanksgiving".

"Thank you and happy thanksgiving".

Once the tall blond man put his change inside the wallet along with his membership he spoke to Levi.

"Are you ready to leave?". Once Levi hear this lovely voice woke up from his little trance only nodded and walked behind the blond man.

Having the chance walking behind Levi could appreciate his long legs, "nice botty" and his back, his size was pretty big with strong shoulders and he can noticed his arm are firm "He definitely work out" even having a gorgeous body Levi was more attracted to his blue eyes, he wanted to discover all his mysteries and see again that wonderful smile that made him melt every time he saw it.

Once outside the store they were between the entrance and the food court. Finally Levi was once again kinda back to himself because he was still embarrassed and the tall man was looking just at him.

"Hum... Oh fuck let me pay for my shit".

"No no. You don't have too. It wasn't much and I can tell is for thanksgiving so just enjoy it with your family".

"You're a... You don't have to, you don't even know me".

Chuckles beautifully. "I'm Erwin, Erwin Smith and you are...".

Swallowing a bunch of nerves hoping his voice won't crack or sounds weird.

"Levi Ackerman". "Even his name is beautiful; Erwin Smith".

"Levi... Is a pleasure to meet you". Erwin's eyes seemed to soften when he said his name which filled Levi with joy.

"I haven't seeing your smile but I saw the way you blushes and is charming. By the way do you usually talk without knowing it?".

"Fuck you're gonna kill me, and sometimes. I try to not but it can't be helped shit happens".

"Yeah, I know what you mean, but other times you can do something about like right now. I know is weird, very weird indeed but I'd like to know you better. I don't have the habit on hitting on people like this but... I just want to know you".

Levi stopped listening to what was around him and could only see Erwin, he wanted to be able to way yes, but the reality scared him. Fear that his dream would come true it seemed very easy and at the same time it was too good to be true, so he did what was most natural for him, take refuge in himself and not leave his shell. "I'll try to do it in the least rude way since the last thing I want is to hurt Erwin, it's strange cause I do not know him but...".

"I don't know if you're weird as shit but... I just can't right now and I don't wanna lie so no. Don't hate me".

Feeling the blushing coming back to his face Levi opted for shutting his mouth and stop embarrassing himself all over again. "Fuck why the fuck did I said don't hate me? Is not like we will meet again or something, shit".

Even though Erwin's face is beautiful Levi could see that for a moment Erwin got sad making him feel bad, Levi knew he did not have the guts to say yes. "Is better to let him go and you won't get hur or will hurting him".

"No, I won't hate you. No one can foretell the outcome. Each decision we made holds meaning only by affecting our next decision, is your choose and I respect it".

Suddenly they felt that cold autumn air, Levi did not pay attention to, his hair was moving. He was only focused on seeing Erwin since he wont see him again, he wanted to keep in his memory his dazzling smile, the tranquility of his face and the peace he felt being with him.

"It's getting cold and I didn't bring any sweater.  It was nice too meet you ever if... Oh Levi you can keep the basket I only bought wine and clam chowder. I hope and you do not believe that I am an alcoholic or that I'm constipated. This is for tomorrow, I had to bring clam chowder but I don't know how to cook it, I hope and they don't mine".

"I know how to do it, is one of my speciality and others dishes too".

"I'd love to taste you... your cooking".

Suddenly Erwin approached Levi and removed the hair that covered his forehead putting them behind his ear very carefully, feeling the thinness of Levi's hair and brushing his cheek feeling the softness of it.

Levi felt how warm Erwin's hand was and without thinking Levi with his free hands pulled Erwin's shirt a little closer to him. Erwin leaned forward and approached Levi's face, even though Levi raised his head to see him more closer, both felt warm air coming from their mouths, they opened in search of a kiss. Closing their eyes. They can feel it. You don't have to imagine it anymore.

You do not hate those moments when something that just interrupts broking the bubble and reality is here?. This is one of those moments. A sweet child son of Satan stepped forward while running and pushed both of them in the opposite direction and they could not get what they both wanted. A kiss.

"Well this is fucking embarrassing what the fuck I was thinking". Looks like all the night Levi's going to keep blushing whenever Erwin's around.

Chuckles cutely "Levi it was a pleasure to meet you. I wish you a happy thanksgiving and a wonderful life".

"Blondie I need to pay you for my shit".

"As I said, enjoy it with your loved ones".

Erwin just walked away. "Levi what the fuck why don't you do something? Ask for his phone number. You just fucking chicken out. Fuck Levi and fuck yourself shit".

"Levi~ I'm sorry I took so long, you won't guess who did I meet!? Moblit and he's single at the moment~ I invited him for tomorrow and if play well my card guess who's gonna have a good fuck~".

Usually Levi always has his poker face, after so many years of knowing him Hanji knows how to identify when something happened and it is better to shut up. Feeling Hanji their life was in danger opted for shutting up, not sure if Levi was mad for waiting but knew something did happened. Is better to give him some space, sooner or later he'll will talk.

Levi does not remember how he got home, what they had for dinner or the movie they saw, he just remembers that he spent most of the night without sleeping and thinking.

"What if... Why I couldn't... Why I'm like this... Why...".

"No one can foretell the outcome. Each decision we made holds meaning only by affecting our next decision".

You were running, if you stopped you were going to get killed by whoever that was. The air couldn’t get in your lungs, it was painful, and you were about to pass out, but you couldn’t stop. Your lungs were burning. Scanning rapidly your surroundings you saw an alley and you got into it. You kept running until you faced a very tall wall. There was no escape. You were trapped and he was going to kill you. You always knew what could happen if you kept going to the underground, someday you were going to be discovered or you would get into trouble god knows when. You needed to think fast. Quickly, you turned around and found out that it was too late. He was walking slowly towards you with a knife in his hand and a nasty smile on his face. You were disgusted, enraged and very frightened. You were going to die. You were prepared for it. No, you were not going to die. You were not going to die like this. Searching in one of your pockets, you grabbed the knife you carried with you at all times. It was small but it could get the job done. 

“I’m going to fucking kill you, bitch.” Said the disgusting man with rage. He was scary but you couldn’t back up. You couldn’t go anywhere. With disposition you started to walk towards him, with a stoic face and attitude. You were fucking scared, you had never done that before, and it could be the last time. However, if you showed how terrified you were, you were going to lose. 

Grabbing the knife you started to run towards the man, screaming like mad. Your face and scream were filled with rage. You were determined to kill him. It was him or you. 

That man grabbed you by the throat and tried to stab you in the heart. However, by pure luck or because of destiny, you kicked him somewhere in the body and he let you go. You seized the knife with so much force you thought it was going to break, and stabbed his arm. He didn’t scream as much as you thought. He was looking at you with soulless eyes, but you didn’t back up. You stabbed him again, and this time you nailed the weapon in his neck. He stood still for a few seconds before he looked at you with panic in his eyes. You stared back at him with no emotion in your face, you were shocked. Again, you went to grab the knife and stabbed him again in the neck, he was going to die right there. The blood splashed a little to your clothes, you were lucky though because the blood was coming out of his body like you have never seen before. 

That fucker was dying in a pool of his own blood. You looked at him with more detail now that he was breathing his last breath. He was kind of old, fifty something sixty you thought. He had a long beard, rotten teeth and his face was covered in wrinkles. He was wearing a torn black hat and his clothes were dirty. You didn't know who he was, what you knew is that he would never abuse or kill women ever again. One fucker less in this world. 

The night sky was still dark but maybe it was time you drifted to bed. Tomorrow you wouldn’t have training yet, but you needed to rest. You stood up and as slowly and quietly as you could, you went down the pipes to your room. You didn’t keep the lights on and the room was very dark. 

You used to daydream with real memories. Maybe it was an obsession, who knows. The only two facts you knew is that you regretted not talking to them and that regretting something that cannot be changed is useless. Unless you do something to change that in the future, then you could learn something from that feeling. 

That memory of your first kill was not as overwhelming as you thought it would be. You made sure he was dead before leaving. And no, you didn’t regret killing him, because if you did you were failing all the women he abused and killed. You observed him for weeks after finally daring to do something about it. 

You sighed, and started to take off your clothes. The pyjamas they gave you were in your bed, clean and new, ready to use. Putting them on you noticed that they were very comfy and warm. You will thank them tomorrow. 

Now, in your bed, you were thinking about your day, or principally about your night. All the way from here, the Commander, the Section Commander and that little fucker, Captain Levi Ackerman. You laughed at the nickname but you knew what he was capable of, and he was scary.

—

The sun wasn’t even shining when someone knocked at your door. “Hello! It’s time to wake up. I will come here again in thirty minutes. Be sure to be ready!” You knew it was Hange, they were very energetic. You knew that well. Laying in your bed for two more minutes, you groaned and got up. 

You were alone in your bedroom but the showers and toilets were communal, so you grabbed your uniform and got to the showers to get a quick one. You preferred to shower at night. However, you couldn’t do it yesterday, so here you are, at whatever time it was getting your first shower being a soldier. 

Time passed by and you were already going to the dining room with Hange. They were very talkative at seven in the morning. “And then I flew through the air!” You laughed with them but you didn’t understand why they were laughing, they were crazy and didn’t see the risk anywhere, which made them dangerous. They were unique and you were thankful that they were talking to you as if they knew you forever. Nevertheless, you knew you had to gain everybody’s trust, you were new and didn’t have to go through the intense training they endured. 

Everyone was already there, they were eating and talking to each other. You knew some of them, your stalking abilities sometimes surprised you too. You knew who they were and how they acted. The names were the only thing you weren’t good at. Nothing without a solution. 

Section Commander Hange left you to get your food and you tried to find a quiet place to eat. A table was reserved to Commander Erwin Smith, Captain Levi Ackerman and Section Commander Hange. The others were filled with younger soldiers. You were sure you were the older of them all.

All the hall was looking at you, but they were trying not to get noticed. They failed miserably. You supposed they knew nothing about a new person joining the scouts. Ignoring the glances you sat down in the farest table you could. But before you could start to eat, a girl and a boy sat down with you. You looked at them and saw how young they were. 

“Hello, we didn’t know that there was a new Scout! My name’s Sasha Blouse.” She said it with a smile on her face while eating. She seemed nice. She had long brownish hair in a ponytail. At her side there was a boy with very short hair with a grin on his face. “My name’s Connie Springer. Nice to have you here.” You smiled at both of them “my name’s y/n. Nice to meet you, too.” 

The conversation was cut short when a taller guy approached all of you with another grin on his face. His name was Jean, and they were very close to each other. You looked at the three of them and remembered the other trio. Melancholy washed all over you but you didn’t want to seem disrespectful and continued talking to them. 

Finally, breakfast came to an end and all of you stood up. You had to stay in the dining room until all of them left, that was what Commander Erwin Smith told you yesterday. While you were waiting you grabbed your plates and left them on another table, as slowly as you could, gaining time. 

“Oi, come here.” Captain Levi’s voice resonated through the dining room. Commander Erwin and Section Commander Hange were there too. You approached the table looking at them while they were getting up. The Commander started to say “we don’t have enough time today to discuss your future here, but I’ll let Captain Levi talk to you for today. We will see each other again at night time.” And then the four of you went in different directions, you with Captain Levi and the Commander with the Section Commander.  

Captain Levi was walking in front of you not bothering to turn his head and see if you were following, like yesterday. You didn’t care, you were looking at your surroundings and trying to remember the way to their offices. The castle was so big you knew you were going to be lost a few times. The offices were somewhere on the last floor. Captain Levi’s room and office was at the end of the big corridor. With a key, he opened the door and invited you to enter his place. 

There was a big table in front of a large window, but the chair was not facing the window but at the door. You supposed it was because it was easier to see who enters, even though the views were astonishing. 

“Take a seat, Ivy.” 

Your heart skipped a beat. What? What did he say? Did you hear correctly? “Excuse me, Captain?”

“Don’t you use this innocent voice of yours.”

You didn’t know how to proceed, but you needed to say something. But how did he know that nickname? And were you getting horny? Oh no. That was not the time. 

“Take a seat, please.” He repeated the first sentence again. 

You obliged because what the fuck. Seated in front of him you felt small, he was not much bigger than you, but his gaze was imposing. After all, he was Captain Levi Ackerman, Humanity’s Strongest, and that title was there for a reason. 

“Are you going to tell me everything? Or do I have to coax it out of you?”

You stared at him with no expression, you couldn’t just say what you were doing years ago, right? What about the consequences? 

“Well, I see that you prefer me to tell Erwin everything I know about you.”

What? He was an asshole, that’s for sure, is he going to give you away? 

“No. Just…” You didn’t know what to say, that was not the plan. You were here because you killed titans and you were going to help them, not because you wanted to be interrogated. He was looking at you with one eyebrow raised, expecting you to say something. But you were not sure what he wanted to know.

“I don’t know what you want to know, Captain Levi.”

He was still with a stoic face, but he sighed and averted your eyes for a second “Tonight, at midnight, better be where you were yesterday. Don’t make me wait.” 

“Excuse me?”

“Are you going to be surprised by every word that I say?”

What the fuck. That was going to be harder than you thought. Years observing the survey corps and Captain Levi personally didn’t prepare you for a conversation with this man. To be fair, you knew how he was, but a conversation alone with him was a little bit scary. Everyone feared him, but you didn’t want that to define who he was. You wanted to know him better, observing him in the past was not enough. But, did he know about everything? 

“How did you know that name?” You asked him, avoiding the other question he asked you previously. 

“If you are going to ask stupid questions, maybe you’re not that intelligent.”

“As far as I know, that’s not a stupid question at all.”

“You may be sneaky with others, but you’re not sneaky with me. Did you really think I never saw you observing us? In the survey corps and in the underground? You better talk tonight if you don’t want me to tell Erwin everything I know about you. Now, you are going to meet with Hange at 3pm today, they will explain everything about titans to you. You’re dismissed.” 

You were still for a few seconds and then you walked towards the door and closed it behind you. Wow, what the fuck was that? Why did he change the subject as if it was not important? You didn’t understand anything. 

—

You were in your room again after the conversation with Captain Levi. Laying in the bed, you looked at the ceiling thinking about what would you tell him, were you going to explain everything to him? To which extent did he know everything about you? Probably, he didn’t know much. However, he was intelligent and was always on guard, but could you lie to him? You weren’t sure of it. 

You could afford staying in your bed for a few hours, but you decided it would be more useful if you got up and got to observe the training you had to endure tomorrow, supposedly. You went to the common bathrooms and splashed your face with water. You cleaned after the mess because god knows what could happen if the Captain saw it. You saw your reflection in the mirror and started to think what could be Captain Levi’s reaction tonight. You knew that he had blood on his hands, he should understand you. Yes, you needed to convince yourself that it was going to be okay. Everything would be understandable, right? In the worst case you could go to your old life, or could you? What if he turned yourself in? You forced yourself to stop, you should be fine. You shouldn't overthink this. 

Sighing deeply you turned around and started to walk towards the training site. The headquarters were so big you were praying to get used to them. Once you were outside you looked up at the sky, you loved the brightness today.  It was very peaceful, the headquarters were somewhat far from the villages and the scenery was bucolic. You knew well you were going to be there in your free time, just wondering the surrounding area. 

You didn’t need to know exactly where they were training, the ODM gear was reverberating in the surroundings. Following that sound you arrived at a cluster of trees and you saw the scouts, it seemed like they were flying from tree to tree at an inhuman velocity. They were amazing. You had the ODM gear and you knew how to use it, but you needed to work on it. 

Time was passing while you were watching them, you wanted to join but also knew that it would be hard to train, and if Captain Levi or Commander Erwin were there, the pressure would be too much. However, you were there to train and to sweat until you couldn’t anymore, and you were mentally prepared. After the risks in the underground, you were prepared for any kind of physical pressure. 

You didn’t want to disturb them, therefore you left before they could spot you watching them. The meeting with Hange would start soon and before that you should eat something, because if you knew something was that the meeting would last hours and hours. They were very passionate about titans and would never shut up. Luckily for you, you were very curious and were used to observing and listening for hours. Nothing you couldn’t handle, or that’s what you were telling yourself. 

—

After eating in the dining hall and talking with your new colleagues, Sasha and Connie, you prepared yourself for a very long reunion with Section Commander Hange. You stayed in your room for less that ten minutes when Hange themself knocked at your door. You opened the door and left with them to an empty room. Hange looked at you with crazy eyes before grabbing a chair and sitting right to your side. “You know, I appreciate that you wanted to know about my dear titans” they said with an enormous grin. “I joined the Scouts with rage filling my whole body about these creatures, and I thought I never wanted to do anything more than kill them, but when I kicked a titan’s head it was light as a feather…” They started telling you first their life story, and you were staring at them in awe, you didn’t know that they hated them before. No one could ever imagine that, because they loved them so much now that Commander Erwin Smith had to give them permission to study them. Humanity doesn’t know anything about titans and how they keep emerging, and you knew that Hange was giving their everything to understand them. And you were angry at the other military branches and even some of the Scouts, because they don’t give credit to their work, calling them “lunatic” and “insane.” 

The sun was setting outside and they were talking non-stop, eventually they asked you some questions like “what do you think about that” or “what do you think should be done in this case”, you appreciated being part of the conversation because you knew what happened to Eren the first time he and Hange spoke. Hange didn’t stop talking until the first hour in the morning and Eren hadn’t spoken at all. 

After hours of talking, someone knocked at the door. “Come in”, Hange said enthusiastically. Captain Levi was at the other side of the door and he entered.

 “Oi, four eyes, stop talking, you know what happened to Eren the first time, he wanted to die after the talk.”

“Oh, come on Levi, he had so much fun! As she is doing now, right?” Hange said, looking at you. 

“Of course, you really know about titans and if I have to fight them, at least I should study them. In fact, everyone should study them.” You said looking directly at Captain Levi’s eyes. And know that you look closely, they were a very light and beautiful shade of grey, nothing like you haven't seen before. You have observed him from so far away that you didn’t have the chance to just look at him. He was gorgeous. 

“Ts, it’s time to eat. Come on.” He got out of the room and closed the door. 

“You know”, Hange said thoughtfully, “maybe everybody should study them in depth, I will talk to Erwin and see what he thinks about this!” 

You didn’t know if you fuck it up or if it was a good idea, but they were very enthusiastic about this, maybe it would be good for all of Scouts to understand them and not only study the titans to kill them. It was just an idea that Hange loved too much. 

“Should we be going to eat, Section Commander Hange?” 

“Just call me Hange and yes I’m very hungry, talking ‘bout them makes me wanna eat everything I see.” 

Okay, maybe she was a little bit out of their rocket, but who were you to judge? You were spying some underground criminals for part of your life, and you didn’t even know why. Life choices, they said.

You two got up and went to eat dinner with the rest of the Scouts. You needed to be ready for midnight, but guessing the time it was probably too early to be worrying about that. When you arrived there, everyone was eating, you saw Sasha engulfing two pieces of bread at once while Connie was desperately trying to take one out of her mouth. And yes, that was Jean trying to fight with Eren. Mikasa was looking at them with a stoic face. You did know her name though, she was very beautiful, with jet black hair and a red scarf around her neck, and always by Eren’s side. Was she going to do something to protect him? 

The doors opened and everyone went quiet for a couple of seconds, while Captain Levi Ackerman walked towards his table. The shouting and talking restarted when he was seated down. And yes, Jean and Eren stopped fighting and Mikasa didn't have to do anything. 

You were sitting alone this time, you wanted to think about what to tell Captain Levi tonight. You were going to tell him everything he wanted to know, but he didn't have to know everything. You were quite nervous but nothing that wasn’t manageable. 

—

It was five to twelve and you were climbing up the pipes to be at the same place you were yesterday. Once you got up there, you walked slowly, you didn’t want to get caught. You sighed, and prepared yourself for the interrogation that would come up in any minute now. You sat down at the place you were yesterday, almost at the edge of the roof. You hugged your legs to your chest like last time, and then a voice appeared. 

“Can I sit down?”

“Sure.” You didn’t look at him, he didn’t deserve it. He didn’t give you any other option. And you never asked about his past life, why should he? 

You sat there in silence for some time, until he spoke again. “Are you going to tell me everything?” 

“I don’t think Commander Erwin Smith asked you about your life.” You said with irritation in your voice. 

Captain Levi didn’t respond immediately, he kept his eyes on the front. “Don’t you forget that I’m your Captain. I’m asking you nicely. You’re in the Scouts, or will be if we like you, stop acting like a brat and start talking.” He said it with determination and earnestness. 

It was not fair, not the way he got you here and not the manipulation he was using. What could you do? You resigned, just a little bit. 

“Ask away, I don’t know what to tell you.”You might be resigned to tell him some things, but you were not happy about it. 

“How did you get to the underground?”

“How do you know I’m not from there?”

“There’s no chance you are from there, believe me, you just know” said he with a scoff. Well, now that he knows you’re not from the underground, you needed to explain how you got there. 

“There was a staircase the first time that was not guarded, and I just got in there.” 

“Impossible.” Everyone knew that that was not possible, the mafia didn’t let that happen. He didn’t need to say anything else, that was absurd. 

“It’s true. I know you won’t believe me, but that is how I entered.”

“How many times?” You knew he didn’t believe you. 

“I don’t know, I entered when I needed to.”

“When I needed to? What were you there for, brat?” another scoff. 

What were you there for? That was a good question and you didn’t know how to answer. Were you there for a reason? Were you there because you wanted to die? To feel adrenaline? Maybe you had an answer to that, but you were not going to say it out loud. And you were not going to let him imagine the answer. 

“I was tired of being in my town.” What a stupid answer. 

“What a stupid reason.” Captain Levi didn't believe a word you said and you knew that, but you were grateful that he didn’t push further. 

“Yes, it is. Sometimes you don’t need to rationalise everything.”

“No one ever goes to the underground for pleasure. Why the fuck were you there? He asked again, and you were not going to answer. 

You looked at him and he looked at you, no one said anything. You looked at your front again, and you wish he could read your mind right now, because that was going to remain unanswered. You don’t know if he understood what you were saying without words, but he didn’t say anything else. 

“Tomorrow you’ll start the training. After having breakfast, instructor Shadis will be with you.” With that said, he stood up and left, leaving you alone in the night breeze.