#grumpfic

Stories

Dan’s hands trembled as he frantically tried to pull the little levers. Nothing happened. He cursed under his breath and glanced back at the waiting customer. They were patiently and politely pretending to not notice how long this was taking. He yanked on the lever again and this time it fell off.

Fuck.

Dan faced the reality that he needed some help and turned towards the customer. A pretty girl about his age. With an apologetic look he said, “uh… The machine is kinda stupid, I.. It’s broken. I’m sorry.”

“Oh! That’s okay!” She smiled.

“I’ll uh.. Get someone to get it up and running, if you don’t mind waiting…” Dan looked anywhere but her, rubbing his fingers anxiously together behind the counter.

“I don’t mind! I don’t have anywhere to be, so you just take your time. No worries man.” The pretty and super fricken cool girl shrugged with a content face and she sat down at one of the tiny tables near the front of the shop. Dan quickly scurried to the back, where Arin was filling up some small plastic tubs with various toppings.

“Arin. I need your help. I fuckin’ broke the machine…” Dan looked at Arin full of shame and then hung his head.

“Oh, dude. Jeeze, it’s alright. No need to cry about it.” Arin let the toppings sit on the counter and he pushed through the employees only door back to the front counter. Dan followed and stood next to him, hands clenched together in anxiety. “Do you have the handle?” Arin held out his hand expectantly.

“Uh.. Shit. Yeah.” Dan looked on the floor and found the little lever, and promptly handed it to his colleague.

Arin muttered, “This happens all the time. Stupid machine always breaks, we really need a new one. Im tired of fixin’ this bullshit all the time.” With a quick twist of a screw or two and a quick restart of the milkshake blender, it was working perfectly. Arin smiled and rubbed his hands together in victory. “There you go. You can use it now. Need anything else?”

“No… Thank you..” Dan didn’t look at him and proceeded to fulfill the awaiting customer’s order. He called out her order and she came up to the counter. She thanked him and left and that was that. Dan sighed heavily into the empty shop and watched the girl wistfully as she drove away. A sudden jab to his side made him wince and grunt. “Jesus, what the hell?”

He was met by Arin’s smug mug eyeing him. “Well, well. Crushing on the customers is pretty unprofessional. That shit could get you fired.”

Dan’s cheeks blossomed a fire-engine-red. “What?! I wasn’t even! That’s not!- I wasn’t crushing on anyone, I don’t even know her! I’m not gonna get fired right? Cuz dude I REALLY need this job-” Dan panicked, “Shit man I can’t get fired again, please don’t say anything I’m begging you!-”

“Whoa, chill Dan. It was a joke. I was just kidding.” Arin’s eyes were wide at the unprecedented reaction. He’d always seen Dan as nervous, maybe even angsty, but Jesus, this was a new level. “And you can’t get fired for something stupid like that. Hell, we all have crushes. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you panic there.”

Dan’s eyes felt hot and he cursed silently. He wasn’t gonna do this here. Not in front of someone he barely even knew. Get it together, dumbass. You’re at work. This guy doesn’t know or care what your problem is. Even though he tried to talk himself down, he still felt stupid. The tingling wouldn’t go anywhere, and now his throat felt tight.

The silence made Arin’s eyebrows furrow in worry. “Are you okay? I swear, it’s totally okay bro. I shouldn’t have teased you. It was a dick move, I know.” Dan just wished Arin would stop looking at him. He twisted the bottom of his shirt between his fingers obsessively and tried to speak. It came out as a pathetic urk. He started to walk towards the bathroom, but that was past Arin. Arin grabbed his arm, something Dan hoped to God he wouldn’t do.

Shit.  

He felt the tears pool in his eyes and he tried to blink them away. Instead of leaving, one fell down his cheek. Et tu, brute? Dan dropped the hem of his shirt and pulled his arm out of Arin’s grasp.

“Fuck, you’re crying? You’re crying. Oh god. Dude I’m really sorry!”

Dan finally managed to speak. “It’s not your fault, I’m just really fuckin’, stressed out. Can you.. Can I get past?” A few more tears fell and Dan wiped at his face, angry with himself. Arin obliged, stepping past, eyes wide and trained on Dan like he was some kind of zoo exhibit. Against his will, a tiny shuddering breath and a small hic escaped his lungs. He tried hard not to make a scene, but all he wanted to do was sprint towards the bathroom. He settled for a quick jog. He groaned inwardly when he saw that two more customers had come into the shop without either of them knowing. They had probably heard almost everything. They were trying their hardest to act like they were looking anywhere but at him and Arin.

Dan closed the bathroom door and locked it. He stayed in there until it was about time to end his shift. Which, thankfully, was only about 20 minutes. Someone knocked on the door about halfway through, but he thought it was Arin so he stayed silent. No one bothered him from then on. He let himself get the last of his waterworks out, and he allowed himself to breathe. He calmed down enough, wiped his face of any tearstains, let the redness dissipate, and finally opened the door. The lights were dim and the shop door was locked. It was darker out now. Arin was sweeping underneath the tables.

Arin turned to look at him with relief. “You okay buddy?”

Buddy?

“I’m fine. Is there any sidework left to do? I’ll do it.” Dan kept his voice monotone.

“There’s just some icecream scoopers to put away. Do you need a ride tonight?”

The question caught Dan off guard. “What?”

“I know you have that friend who picks you up. And I promise I’m not a creep, but you left your phone in the back and I saw the text on your lock screen, and they said they can’t get you tonight.” Arin tried to sound as “not-creepy” as possible. It didn’t work very well, but what can you do?

“Damn it.” Dan quickly went to the back to grab his phone. Sure enough, Mark wouldn’t be picking him up tonight. Something about he had to go to some Biggest Loser meeting. Good for him, but tonight of all nights? Fuck me, man.

Dan came back to the front. “You don’t have to give me a ride. It’s fine. I can walk.”

“I’m not gonna let you walk on the highway, c'mon.”

As much as he wanted to protest and just get the hell away from this guy, Dan sighed. He nodded in surrender and went to clean up the icecream scoopers and put them away. He finished before Arin finished sweeping the shop and he called out to him from the counter. “Hey, I’m gonna go sit out back for a second.”

“Alright, I’ll meet you out there.”

Dan stepped outside and finally felt fresh hair take some of the anxiety off his shoulders. He sat down out behind the shop on the stairs. Pulling a joint from his jacket pocket, he lit it and pulled it quickly to his lips.

There we go. Much better.

After a few drags, and forgetting he was waiting for Arin, the sound of the back door opening behind him made him jump. He tried to hide the joint by putting his hand down by his leg, trying to block it from Arin’s view. He really really didn’t want to stamp it out though. Arin looked at him, and the obvious smoke trail lingering in the air, and simply sat down beside him.

“I don’t care if you smoke. I’m not gonna get you in trouble or something. I’m not an asshole.” Arin shook his head at him, as if he were bewildered by Dan. Dan pulled the joint back up, but didn’t let himself take the long slow drag he wanted.

“You don’t have to take me home. I don’t wanna bring this shit in ur car and make it smell. And im gonna sit here for a while so, I know you probably don’t wanna wait-”

“Stop tryin'a get rid of me, will you?”

“Huh?” Dan’s eyebrows furrowed.

“I don’t mind waiting. I’m in no rush, man.”

The half chilled out part of his brain wanted to point out that Arin said “Rush.” Man, he loved Rush. Rush is so good.

“Rush? I haven’t heard much from them.” Arin pulled off his work vest and replaced it with a frumpy red sweater.

Did I say that out loud? Shit.

“Uh, sorry I just kinda, word vomited. Anyway, I’m not trying to get rid of you. Its just been.. It’s been a rough week.”

“Oh.. I’m sorry. I know how that goes.”

“Oh yeah?” Dan decided to take another puff off his joint and blew it out in a thin line up and away from Arin.

“Yeah. And I know we aren’t exactly best buds, but if you ever need someone to talk to, I’m all ears.”

“Oh really.” Bitterness hit his tongue like he had just taken a chunk out of a grapefruit.

“I’m just sayin’… If you have no one else.”

“I do.”

“That’s good. I’m glad. Cuz if you being stressed means you can’t do your job, then you’re gonna need someone to help you out.”

Dan bit back a snarky comment for fear of losing his ride tonight. He stamped out his half smoked joint and put the remainder back into the pocket of his leather jacket. “Alright. We can go now.”

Arin led them to his car, a red, beat up 1972 Chevy truck, and opened the passenger door. “Sorry, my car is kinda shitty. I have to slide in on this side.” He slid in, pushing his large frame around until he settled into the drivers seat with a huff. Dan awkwardly settled in beside him, and the door squeaked in protest as he closed it.  Dan told Arin his address, and the ride passed by with minimal small talk. When he got home, he curled up in his bed and passed out. What a weird ass day.

That night, neither of them expected that three months later, Arin taking Danny home would be a regular occurrence. Neither expected to know so much about each other. Arin had no idea that he’d get to see Danny in a new light, to get to see Danny’s face and have something in his gut twist and knot into something that felt like love. Dan didn’t know he’d find someone so totally in sync with him, and be able to actually keep him. Dan didn’t know that sitting out back on the steps after work, talking about life would become their routine. That night, both boys went home, slightly salted, and wondering what would happen the next day at work. Would they talk to each other? Who would start the conversation first? Could they even be friends after this?

Three months time would tell. But it worked out. And Dan couldn’t ask for anything better than his ice cream shop manager boyfriend and their late night escapades, sitting on the stairs, dripping stories from their tongues like water down stepping stones.

read time: 16 min

Run To You

Danny pushes strands of hair from Arin’s face. The blonde pieces fall neatly into the rest of the brown mass and Dan’s tongue sticks out slightly between his teeth in concentration. He takes in a small breath and begins to sing, almost inaudibly, “A light in the room/ It was you who was standing there/Tried it was true/As your glance met my stare.”

He thinks back to that morning. Arin had grabbed his weapons and camera and strapped them to his handmade system of straps and belt loops adorning his chest and waist.

“Dan, you comin’ with today?”

“Where now?”

“We have to go to the pharmacy. Suzy is almost out of Zombrex.”

Dan’s eyes widened. “Already? You just went out for some like two days ago dude.”

“I know… I think someone is stealing our rations. I have a plan to catch them, but im still working on it.” Arin’s brows furrowed in determination. “Anyway, you comin or what?”

“Yeah sure. Of course.”

They had sauntered off, calm and collected, taking the vent to the main mall. Dan smiled. Even if he wasn’t happy, he could trick himself into feeling better than he did. He held his machete casually against his shoulder and let Arin lead. Dan kept his eyes on Arin’s back for the most part, but the few zombies that got in his way didn’t last long. He loved this rebellious feeling. He somehow found comfort wading through a sea of rotting flesh because he knew he was safe. He could never turn, and he also had Arin to protect him if anything went south.

“Lemme hear that plan bro, maybe we can figure it out.”

Arin explained, “I usually keep the stash in the boiler room. No one ever goes in, it’s hot as hell, and really dark. So, unless someone knows we’ve got shit in there, no one should be messing around in that room. I was thinking of asking Barry to help me rewire a security camera and hook it up in there. Then we move our actual stores, leave some empty boxes of food and Zombrex and see who comes in to take the bait.”

“Wow, still working on it? Sounds like you’ve got it all down man. What’s the big shadig?” Danny picked his way around broken glass and continued to watch Arin’s ass as he walked.

“Mm. Its so dark, we would need to find a night vision camera. Also, something just doesn’t sit right. No one but our group knows how to even get into the maintenance rooms. At least, I don’t think anyone else does. If it’s not some stranger.. I’m not sure who it could be. It could be you for all I know.” Arin accused jokingly. Dan scoffed, both at the fact that Arin was obviously remarkably hilarious, and the fact that he would have no reason to need Zombrex.

“Who could do that to Suzy? I don’t think it would be any of us. Unless someone got bit and didn’t tell us. But everyone knows we’d all have eachothers back. If anything it would mean we’d all work three times as hard to hunt and gather out here in this shit-place.”

Arin stopped, turning towards Dan with a serious look on his face. “Yeah. We would. You’re right… Then who the hell found their way in?”

Though his throat hurts, and his voice is raspy with exhaustion, he continues to sing to this sleeping specimen in his lap. “_But your heart drifted off/Like the land split by sea/I tried to go, to follow/To kneel down at your fee_t.”

They had grinded their way through hordes of the undead and finally reached the pharmacy. He watched the door as Arin rummaged around. Soon, he heard his friend mutter a low, guttural “Shit. FUCKING SHIT.”

Dan turned to look at him. “ You okay dude?”

“Theres no more.” Arin tried to mask his defeat. He knew this would happen eventually. It’s been months. They were lucky to have made it this long with minimal complications.

“Maybe we just missed it, want me to hel-”

“Just watch the fucking door,” Arin snapped. Danny fell silent. More rummaging could be heard as he turned back towards the door, obeying his orders.

“God fucking damn it. SHIT. ASS. Motherfucking tit blast.” Arin spewed profanity dumbly as he kicked around empty med boxes and useless cough drops.

Dan tried to interject. “Arin, maybe theres another-”

“You don’t get it Dan. She’s going to… She cant fucking survive without it. If I lose her…” Arin’s voice broke. “I won’t lose her. I can’t.”

“I know, big cat… I know.”

“Let’s go. We’re finding those thieves.”

“Wait, how? Arin you can’t rush an ambush with no plan, and no clues even.”

“I told you I was working on it, I’m sure it’ll come together on the way.”

“No. I’m not gonna let you blindly run into your own anger. Think for a sec. Let’s try to find more Zombrex somewhere else. This can’t be the only place.”

“Don’t be stupid Dan. We’ve looked practically everywhere in this damn mall.  The only way we’re finding Zombrex is if we steal it from someone else. And I can’t do that to anyone…”

The next words that popped into Dan’s brain made him immediately want to bite them down, but he said them anyway. “Not even for Suzy?” He knew how insensitive it was. He knew how much pain someone else could go through without the meds, but if it meant keeping one if his best friends alive he would rather save Suzy. He would rather spare Arin the grief.

Arin’s eyes closed, as if he’d known Dan would say that. He closed them tight, wiping his grimy fingers over his lids in exasperation. “Let’s go… We have to find some before daylight.” Arin opened his eyes and turned towards Dan.

Dan gave him a weak smile. “It’ll be okay big cat.”

Dan heard something large hit the floor with a loud crash, but neither him or Arin had touched anything. Dan twisted around, his machete in hand, surveying the seemingly empty pharmacy. Arin held a finger to his lips, and began to creep towards the back of the store. He hopped over the medicine counter as quietly as possible and held his ear to the locked staff door. Metal scraping against the floor came from the room and panicked shuffling accompanied it.  Once it was quiet, Arin could hear the sounds of a little boy crying inside.

Arin motioned for Dan to come closer. Dan stayed silent and finally he heard the noise too.

“Whoever is out there… Go away!” The young voice said weakly.

Arin put his hand on the handle and opened his mouth to speak, but he was interrupted. Loud shots echoed in the small pharmacy, making both men’s ears ring. The staff door flung open, revealing a man holding a gun to the child’s head. Dan couldn’t even hear Arin yell “Run!” Before he saw his friend hop over the medicine counter and run past him towards the exit. He jumped over the counter to follow, only to see the exit blocked by a man with a bandana and hood covering his face. He pointed an AK at Arin, who now had his hands up in surrender. Arin had only brought his melee weapons today. An object jabbed Dan in the back. Either someone was happy to see him or incredibly displeased and also happened to have a gun. A spark ignited in Dan’s chest. Someone held a child at gunpoint. Someone lured him and Arin into a trap, using a kid. Someone. Was pointing a gun. At Arin.

With one swift twist of his body, his blade was cutting through a man’s neck behind him. He shouted at Arin to duck. Time slowed. The world was quiet around him. He inhaled once. Closed one eye. Aimed. He pulled back his machete, and threw it with all of his strength. He exhaled. He could hear again, and his pulse quickened so suddenly he felt he was going to faint. He dropped to his knees. Arin walked over to him, shaken.  The little boy was sitting near the counter, sobbing, “I tried to warn you.. You should have gone away…”

“Dan…”

Dan didn’t respond, staring at the spray of blood behind the dead man’s head pinned to the wall by his weapon.

“Dan talk to me.” Arin kneeled in front of him. Dan looked through him. “C'mon buddy, say something! You’re freaking me out.”

Dan’s eyes slowly focused in on Arin. He looked at each eye individually, rapidly searching for some sign of fear. Fear of him. “I…. I’ve never… I’ve never killed a person before…”

“Shit… Dan.. Danny it’s okay. You saved me. You saved all of us, okay?” Arin leaned forward, hugging Dan tightly. “Let’s get out of here. C'mon.” Arin stood, pulling Dan with him. He was wobbly on his feet. Arin picked up the boy, and the child went willingly into his arms. They left, leaving Dan’s machete behind.

Dan sighs, looking up at the monitor. He can see Suzy in her room, laying calmly on her bed. He looks back down at Arin. He threads his fingers into the man’s hair once more. “I’ll run, I’ll run, I’ll run, run to you/ I’ll run, I’ll run, I’ll run, run to you.”

They ran towards the food court. Danny trailed Arin closely, but Arin eventually made Dan hold his hand. The boy was quiet, and for the most part kept his face in Arin’s shoulder. They made it there safely and Dan helped pick up some non perishables and orange juice. He stayed silent the entire time. Arin tried to fill the dead air with useless comments, things about video games and anime. Things from life before to will the boy to stop crying. Soon, there was nothing left to say.

“Arin…”

Arin jumped slightly at the sudden disruption. “Uh, yeah Dan?”

Dan’s voice was small. “Don’t let me do that again.”

“Do what? Save our asses?”

“Don’t. I killed a person… Not a zombie… Someone living… Breathing… Someone looking for a second chance…. Two someones, actually. And in front of a kid. God I didn’t even look at the other one… I just… I saw you- I saw them point the gun at you and I couldn’t.. I wasn’t gonna let you die… I wasn’t gonna let either of you die.” Dan didn’t look at him. Arin got very close, very fast. How did he do that so quietly? Jesus, he was just suddenly there. He lifted dan’s chin with his index finger.

“Chin up bro. No one’s gonna smite you down. Hell doesn’t exist remember? You did what you had to. Im grateful for that.” Arin pulled his hand back up to cradle the kid and stepped back much too soon.

“You don’t know… I promised… I promised Avi i’d never get that angry again…”

“What?”

“Before all this… Before meeting you. Before i was even on meds, and before I could look my parents in the eye and have them be proud of me… I would get so angry and I would lash out, and I wouldn’t be able to stop. Today… I felt that anger again and I couldn’t stop it. I took lives because of it.”

“Maybe thats not a bad thing these days Danny…”

“How could you say that?” Danny spit more venomously than intended.

“Well- i mean its just that- today no one can be trusted. If you hadn’t had those reflexes, both of our asses would be dead down in that pharmacy and by extension so would Suzy’s. You need that side of you sometimes. It’ll keep you alive out here. Can’t you just accept that? It’s either them or us. Think of it like just some regular zombie. You saved us. Drop it. Please,” Arin pleaded.

“Fuck you,” Dan snarled.

Arin’s eyebrows raised. “Whoa, chill the fuck out man. I’m just trying to help you-”

Dan dropped the can he’d been holding and started to run out of the food court intending to head back home. He barely registered Arin’s footfalls chasing after him.

Dan shakes his head, looking up at the ceiling. He shouldn’t have run, but he had been terrified. He wanted Arin to be angry with him, to yell or scold or even ignore him. But Arin didn’t seem to care that his friend had murdered a human being. How fucked up is that? Arin was trying to comfort him. This isn’t how life should work, regardless of the undead shambling around or not. “I’ve been settling scores/I’ve been fighting so long/But I’ve lost your war/And our kingdom is gone/How shall I win back/Your heart which was mine/I have broken bones and tattered clothes/I’ve run out of time.”

“Dan!” Arin yelled, watching Dan as he nimbly sprinted past shambling corpses and managed to dance around their lunging attacks. Arin had to cut through the crowd to be able to make it even half as many steps as Dan could cover in three strides. While carrying a kid. Sadly he just wasn’t as lithe. Dan let his adrenaline and anger spur his legs faster. He may have been lanky but even as a child he was considered one of the fastest kids in gym class.

Dan made it almost all the way back before he realized he could no longer hear Arin behind him. He looked around and took a breather. No zombies in this area right now, but that somehow made him feel even more uneasy. He sat down on a ledge near some fake indoor plants and held his head in his hands. Not too long after he had sat down, he heard Arin’s heavy breathing.

“Fuckin’…. Jesus!… There you… Are!” Arin gasped.

Dan didn’t look up.

“You can’t just run off like that! You scared the shit out of me!”

With no emotion, Danny looked up and muttered an apology. “Sorry.”

“Sorry’s not good enough. Nearly gave me a god damn heart attack. I need you Danny, you’re my fucking partner in all this. You can’t just run off! What if you had gotten hurt? Or bit? Theres no fucking Zombrex anywhere for me to rescue your dumb ass!” Arin’s eyes didn’t match his tone. Dan looked at the man dumbly. Arin looked at Dan with such fear it made him feel guilty. “If I’m going to lose Suzy… I can’t lose you too,” Arin said softly.

“You don’t mean that,” Dan muttered.

“You think I’ll be able to live without my two best friends in my life? You both keep me strong. You both keep me fighting. You don’t know how hard it would be for me without either of you…Without your crazy aim today I don’t know what would’ve happened, but either way, I was a dead man. This little guy… He would’ve been a goner too.”

“And you don’t know how hard it was to get rid of that side of me… I won’t just let it take over again.”

“You don’t have to. You can control yourself, you’ve proved that. You only let go for a second… You let go to save a little kid. You let go for me… Is that so bad?…”

“No. Of course not… I’d do anything for you. I just… It was scary…” Dan wiped at his eyes with a tattered sleeve. “I’m sorry…” He meant it this time. “I.. I can’t be that person. I can’t go back to that… Not now. Not ever. I’m.. I’m scared of that person.”

Arin came over to Dan, standing between his knees. He looked down knowingly. “I’ll never let you lose yourself. Not ever. You got that? We’re in this together.” Arin set the boy down beside Dan and to his surprise, the little blonde boy curled into his side, gripping his shirt between two tiny fists.

Dan hesitated before he wrapped his arms around Arin’s waist. He shoved his face into Arin’s stomach, feeling the abs that had developed beneath the soft skin there. Arin wrapped an arm around Dan’s shoulders and let his other hand sit atop his fro. Arin ruffled his hair gently and said “Let’s go buddy… We should keep going. ” Dan heard the unspoken defeat, the inevitable regret for what they would have to do. He heard the unspoken, “We have to hunt for meds tomorrow too.” He heard the next day’s family losing their only chance for Suzy’s sake. He left it all unsaid for tonight.

There was no luck for the remaining hours of the night. They found no Zombrex, but they did run into another group. These people were much friendlier, and even offered to help them hunt for meds the next day. Arin was at least in better spirits. He had so much hope.

They made their way to the tiny monitor room and laid on the mat in the corner. Danny sat against the wall with Arin’s head in his lap, the little boy, now known to be Chase, was folded against Arin’s chest, and he watched the monitor, seeing Suzy stir in her sleep.

“I’ll run, I’ll run, I’ll run, run to you/I’ll run, I’ll run, I’ll run, run to you/Whoa, oh, oh/I will break down the gates of heaven/A thousand angels stand waiting for me,/Oh, take my heart and I’ll lay down my weapons/Break my shackles to set me free/I’ll run, I’ll run, I’ll run, run to you/I’ll run I’ll run, I’ll run I’ll run I’ll run, run to you/Mm, mm, mm, mm.” Danny lifts Arin’s head gently so he can stand. He turns the monitor off, and lays down, curling into Arin’s soft body, effectively wrapping himself protectively around their new survivor. They’ll hunt tomorrow, and Danny will have to decide when he’s going to tell Arin he’s had Suzy’s cure all along.

“Sure Ross, I promise that I’ll marry you – but only if you actually go on this ride with me. No backing out last minute.” You beamed at Ross, happy that he finally agreed to go on what he called ‘the most terrifying ride in the world’. Sure you had to promise you would marry him, but promising to spend the rest of your life with him, even if it was in jest, made your heart pound and your stomach fill with hundreds of butterflies. The fact that you knew Ross was just joking to assuage his nerves, made your own nerves that’d come from his statement lessen. One day, you promised yourself, one day you’d have your dream wedding with this man – even if you had to be the one to propose.