Eurovision 2010s: 300 - 296
300. Gromee ft. Lukas Meijer - “Light me up” Poland 2018
[2018 Review here] Lol this song. “Light me up” is perfectly fine generic dance pulp, but sadly became an arms race between Lukas and Gromee who could provide the most cringe (in the forms of awful vocals and ~~LOL Snek Denz~ respectively) within the tight time frame of 180 seconds. And it was a draw!
Fortunately, the ESC God intervened and quickly nixed it into the Eurovision Underworld, allowing AWS to pass into the final and providing a satisfying, karmatastic end to what ultimately was a pretty subpar entry. 🤗
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299. Sandhja - “Sing it away” Finland 2016
“SING IT AWAY!!! I’LL MUNCH UR BALLZ AWAY!!”
Lol I LOVED “Sing it away” in its studio version, but like most of UMK 2016 it just ended up being a giant wad of WHATEVER once the lives happened. I think the message of “singing away your thought demons” is pretty neat though and would’ve worked had it just been in the vocal chords of a much better vocalist. 🤗
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298. Manel Navarro - “Do it for your lover” Spain 2017
[2017 Review here]
Am I supposed to hate Manel? Because I don’t lol. Yes, a lot of (Spanish) people hate it, but does that mean *I* have to? 🤔 In fact, I’m sure that means I’m obliged by contract not to hate it! I won’t deny there are obvious problems, however: "Do it for your lover” is not the best of songs. Also this,
On the flip side, I think the verses are pretty great and uplifting, with a great backstory? “Boyfriend trying to console his depressed/mourning girlfriend with empathetic and motivational lyrics. I you can’t be happy for herself, do it for your lover, babe.” This song wins at relationships!
I have to rank it low though because both the weaksauce chorus and Hans Pancake’s ~Whoa Duuuude Look At Those Big Waves Suuuuurfs Up Bro~ staging ruin the vibe they should’ve gone for, but oh well. Either way, i’m not that bothered.
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297. Dana International - “Ding dong” Israel 2011
And here is Transexual Icon and Former EPIC winner Dana International, bringing a nondescript song called “Ding dong”. Please submit your awkward chuckle at the unintended penis joke here, before we move on. 😒 ________________________________________________________________
296. Iris - “Would you?” Belgium 2012
Another one of the introverted 2012 ballads that aim to be really cute, but are actually kind of very boring. Also, is the story that she’s hiding in people’s houses when people are away or what?
Thank you for standing the trend of Flanders sending Laurae to the Song Contest though~ (A trend hopefully continued in 2020 when Flanders FINALLY pick Laura Omloop or just Laura Tesoro again lol)
