#groe

a strangled noise from gene pulls grant out of his reverie and he walks slowly back to the crackling fire and the long lost love of his life, the man haunting his dreams and nightmares day in and day out. when he saw gene, he knew something was terribly wrong. the ghast look on his face more pronounced, sweat streaking and breathing stuttered. he was having a panic attack, chuck knew all about them, had had them since he was 14. gene is frantically looking around as if someone were about to attack. tears were forming as he mimicked CPR in the space in front of him, yelling about someone not dying on him. chuck realizes he’s having a flashback and knows how bad they were. chuck rushes to his friend and he pulls gene into his arms, holds tight, and murmurs random facts until he feels gene’s body give and fall into his in exhaustion. he gathers gene in his arms as best he can and carries him to his bedroom. he gently takes his friend’s shoes off and covers him with heavy blankets and puts a glass of water and aspirin next to the bed. he feeds his dogs, ernest and hemingway. 

then he drinks. 

he drinks until the tears stop falling, until he’s absolutely numb. it’s been almost four years since he’d gotten this drunk, the night before gene was deployed, and he hates that this is his only other coping mechanism besides writing. 

when he wakes, he smells coffee and hears the soft lull of gene’s voice as he talks to grant’s dog. grant hauls himself off the couch and braces himself for the conversation he needed to have. the two men drink coffee in silence then grant opens his mouth to speak, but gene puts a hand up and places a dirty and dusty, folded envelope in chuck’s hand. grant raises an eyebrow but gene just mimes opening an envelope. chuck sits on the stool by the counter and opens the envelope that he notices has his name and address on it. 

dear charles,  you have no idea how long i’ve been waitin’ to hear you say that. you gotta know i’ve loved you since we was kids. that cookie might as well have been a ring. i miss you. i can’t wait to be home, knowing that you’re waitin’ for me. but...you don’t have to wait and if you found someone else by the time you get this, i won’t interfere. if you haven’t, then i’m gonna kiss you, like i’ve been wantin’ to since we was kids, the first chance i get. i kinda love ya charles grant. see ya soon. always yours, gene. chuck’s hands were shaking and tears fell onto them. he held the small letter to his chest before kissing it. gene had move to his side while he read. grant hadn’t noticed so he jumped when gene’s voice flowed into his ear.

“i was kinda hopin’ you’d kiss me instead of that letter.”

chuck laughed and pulled gene into his arms, staring into the warm, bright eyes looking straight into his. gene had a small, happy smile curving his pink lips. 

“i was kind of hoping you brought me a chocolate chip cookie.”

gene smacks the love of his life’s arm before placing his forehead gently against the other man’s. 

“i love you charles.”

grant sighed, shattered pieces of him coming back together as gene’s words, warmth, and love settled into his bones.

“I love you gene.”