#griefisnotlinear

A short narrative piece on opting out of heartbreak once a year.

The early weeks after losing someone you

The early weeks after losing someone you

Neither grief nor healing is linear. This is something I had to learn the hard way, as there would be days and weeks after ‘Bomb Drop’ where I really felt I was getting over it all, before being set back by an emotional trigger of some kind. This was exhausting, exasperating and demoralising. But I eventually caught myself on and realised that I was trying to sprint through Hell, in a desperate attempt to avoid more pain. Natural enough instincts for sure, but what I learnt was that I had to submit to the healing process - wherever it took me - and to feel those feelings, because I couldn’t fully heal until I did. Trying to short circuit the healing process is a false time economy, because you’re inevitably going to delay your healing altogether or impair the soundness of your healing. So I made a decision to lean in. As a single mother of two I was never tempted to self-medicate, because my focus was so squarely set on rebuilding my emotionally assaulted young children, and providing them with consistency, but what I did do was mindfully submit to process, which had me pinging around like a pinball (per the image below). No it wasn’t fun, but it was necessary and the sooner you honour your feelings the sooner they pass and you can move on: healthy and stronger for having mastered the experience. Grief is not linear, so your healing can’t be linear either. There is no straight line to follow and get to the end of, you’re going to be emotionally buffeted because you loved someone deeply. That’s also because you’re an awesome, beautiful human being, unafraid of making yourself vulnerable. Remember, only hurt people hurt people, so love yourself gently through your heartbreak; you deserve the tenderness. It’s too much for me to go into now, but ask me about the “don’t thrash, float” principle I pass onto my life coaching clients - you’ll be glad you did, but please do expect to be impacted. Let’s talk! Karan 💕 #TooRelievedToGrieve is available in paper, on Kindle and via Kindle Unlimited: https://amzn.to/2Y4sC0s (link in bio) #grief #griefisnotlinear #healingisnotlinear #healing #heartbreak #heartbroken #breakup #divorce #karanscott #divorcecoach https://www.instagram.com/p/COpaF8XJysW/?igshid=1dlqljwgbia2a