Trappist-1 makes me laugh because Trappist monks brew beer so now I'm just imagining a Star Trek universe where people visit the Trappist-1 to get wasted on beer brewed by space monks.
this is amazing and i love you
the Trappist system have found a way to get along, and a great many centuries have passed since the last war ended in a sulky peace. each planet returned to their homes and got piss drunk. decades passed in nearly no communication between the planets as they quietly got over their resentment and made various alcohols. Each planet got very good at their preferred drink.
The second planet, where it is unbearably hot, live underground because even though all the planets are tidally locked (i checked, that seems the most likely option, which is a shame, but hey, Remans exist) theirs is the hottest soil. So they live underground and grow their edible roots and make their vodka with ice and they love it. It is an awful colour for vodka, but they’re mostly blind so they don’t give a fuck.
The third planet, comfortably in the habitable zone, has a ring of rainforest-esque flora and they make some damn good rum. They live in their trees and have still got their large climbing claws, but they have developed modern methods of movement, they have escalators and moving platforms, and so on. They like their rum.
The third planet have sooo many rivers and the habitable ring resembles venice or just straight up pirate ships depending on the area. These guys have the best. fucking. grape. vines. wine up the ying yang. These guys are wine mums personified with gills.
The fourth planet, the last one with life, is fucking cold. Any day over freezing temperature is a day for a party. These guys go for beer, and they go hard. How tf are you gonna sleep if you don’t have alcohol thinning your blood so that you don’t freeze cos it’s so fucking cold. They got beer, blubber, and hard, leathery skin. Rockin.
They finally meet up again, 50 years having passed and the treaty demanding contact. Each planet brings a gift to the banquet, and each one brings their drink. There is some confusion and awkwardness at first, but then they realise that they’ve all brought alcohol, and maybe they have a bit more in common than they’d thought.
