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heart to heart #17
one of the first people i felt any attraction to & my sadistic awakening was this really pretty guy in high school. he was arrogant and obnoxious and frequently made me mad. and i can't decide if that's the least demisexual thing that's ever happened to me, or if it is in fact very demisexual. no one said the feelings required couldn't be anger and disdain did they. i still think about him.
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Am I Gray Ace or demi sexual? I don’t know which term fits me best. I’ve only experienced sexual attraction twice in my life. The first time was with someone who I bonded with intensely over a short period of time. But I didn’t know him long before I felt the sexual attraction. The second time was after knowing someone and developing a bond over an extended period of time. I have also had close romantic bonds without sexual attraction. As in I’ve felt close to people that I’m romantically attracted to without sexual attraction developing. But for the two people I’ve had sexual attraction for the attraction was intense. I’ve had way more than two people I’ve been romantically attracted to, I don’t need an emotional bond for romantic attraction either and this includes fictional characters. But I’ve never felt sexual attraction for fictional characters or celebrities.
hi!
from what you describe you could be either or both, but honestly, i think the correct answer here is "it doesn't matter". we all have limited knowledge about our inner workings, and we just work with what we have.
labels are supposed to be helpful and make you feel more comfortable and happy with yourself: if you feel like gray ace does that for you, use it. if you feel like demi does, use it. if you like both, you can be both!! demigray is a thing! and if you aren't really feeling either or are unsure, you don't have to pick one. in other words, if it fits you can sits.
good luck in your exploration!
