#graskier

(The pictures aren’t mine, only the texts, credit for the top picture goes to Netflix, of course. Unfortunately I have no idea who made the second one, but thanks a lot for the great work!)

word count: ~200

Jaskier and Geralt have a moment to avoid actually processing any of their grief in Brokilon Forest

(Speculative Season 3 Pt 2 Ficlet)

“Ok?”

“Always,” Jaskier says, not even trying to make the smile meet his eyes.

“Hmm,” Geralt replies, eloquent as always. (But he is. Jaskier knows exactly what the unimpressed ‘hmm’ means. Geralt knows Jaskier is full of shit but will let it go if that’s what Jaskier really wants.)

“I think—I think I fell in love.”

“You told me once you never wanted to feel the way I feel about Yen about anyone.”

“And I was right. It was awful.”

“Was? Seems quick.”

Jaskier’s laugh is a wobbly, pathetic thing. “Is awful. Is somehow even awfuller than I always thought it would be. It’s... I don’t regret the choices I’ve made, but it’s not fair.”

Geralt squeezes Jaskier’s shoulder and looks at him with alarming intensity. It’s a pavlovian response at this point for Jaskier to relax under the attention and pressure, but the instinctive exhale makes the lump in his throat worse.

Jaskier drops his head and squeezes his eyes shut. He doesn’t want to cry again. If he starts he may never stop. Radovid and his heartbreak are only a layer of ice over a bottomless well of grief. It’s Ciri and Yennefer and all the heartbreak he can’t ignore as the world turns on itself. He’ll work through it all someday, turn it into a song, something helpful. But not here. Not now.

Geralt sits with Jaskier, will sit with Jaskier as long as it takes. It’s enough.

Ellie... I’m sorry. This got... not cuddly...? I had a place I wanted to go then I got dragged down this rabbit hole 😖 I can try again! when the dumbass in my head is less moody?

Warnings: nightmares, guilt. so much guilt why am I like this

__________

Geralt woke with a start to Jaskeir’s fists clutching his shirt and soft whimpers coming from the still sleeping bard. A wave of guilt washed over him as he shifted onto his side, pulling Jaskier in close and placing a kiss on his forehead. He was sure he knew this nightmare, it was his fault, as were most of the bard’s nightmares. 

“Jaskier, wake up,” he whispered, brushing his soft chocolate hair out of his face as his heart threatened to break from the way Jaskier’s face twitched in fear, “Darling. Wake up, it’s just me.”

A soft gasp escaped his lips as Jaskier’s eyes flashed open, not registering reality for a moment before he was flooded with relief. He buried his face in Geralt’s neck, drawing deep, shaking breaths to try to calm himself.

“It’s okay. I’ve got you. I’m right here.” Geralt hummed, feeling sick to his stomach as he lied. He couldn’t tell his lover anything was okay any more than a child could wield his swords, not to mention his failings were the reason the bard was trembling in his arms. But Geralt wrapped him up tight nonetheless, situating them so Jaskier was laying atop his chest, hands tucked around his ribs and underneath this shoulder blades. Geralt’s hands traveled up and down the backs of his arms and his shoulders in soothing strokes as he whispered more and more comforting lies to his bard. 

“It was-” Geralt was about to say ‘just a dream’ but that was too bold a lie, and he was not a good enough actor. 

Jaskier shuddered, clinging to him just a little more forcefully, “You left. In my dream... “ he sniffed and turned his head to rest the other cheek on Geralt’s chest, “... you left and I tried to stop you but- you- kept walking.” He tried to keep his voice even but his body insisted on squeaking inhales before tears finally fell from his eyes.

“I will never leave you.” Geralt insisted, pulling him up so they were nose to nose, “Never.”

Jaskier tilted his head to rest his forehead on Geralt’s with his eyes closed, “Say it again,” he breathed.

Geralt closed his own eyes in shame, wishing he could erase the way he’d panicked and ran in the beginning, “Jullek, I will never, as long as I live, leave your side. Nothing on the continent could take me from you... You are the only good thing in my life and... I owe you everything. I am never leaving you.”

Geralt felt tears splash over his eyelids and his heart cleaved in two.

Jaskier’s breath was ragged and his voice sounded raw from holding back sobs when he finally spoke, “I love you.”

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