Well well well. What do you know! It is MARIO DAY 2026, and the eighth birthday of this blog! I think this every year, but whadda hell. So much can happen in eight years! Over one hundred generations of guinea pigs could happen in eight years! Did you know that? They can start giving birth so early. Plentiful little pigs, they are.
There is not a single instance of guinea pigs in the Super Mario series, or in its extended range of spinoffs! Sometimes the term "guinea pig" is used, but in a "test subject" sort of way. There IS the Donkey Kong Country 3 level "Squeals on Wheels", whose Italian name translates to "Guinea Pigs on Wheels", but it's about rats on wheels! Liars! This probably seems like too much about guinea pigs, but you know what they say. Eight is the number of the guinea pig. Who are "they"? Well, let's just consider that a fun little mission for you to discover the answer to!
So, hello, Spikey from Super Mario Land 2. It's been a while. I hope you've been doing well. Still various shades of brown as ever, I see! You haven't aged a day since 1992. How do you think we should celebrate our anniversary today?
Are... are those the Youtooz eyes? No, Spikey. I don't think we can do that. Yes, I know we use you as our mascot. We don't own the rights to you as a character. We can't distribute mass-produced merchandise of you. Legal action would be taken upon us. No, it most certainly would not be funny enough to justify the expenses! We're not going to do anything you want just because you were the first enemy we ever covered on the blog. You know what, that's a bit sad! So much spotlight for the first post. But what about the second? The post that took us from a one-hit wonder to the start of a true Collection?
Get in here, Goombo!
Good ol' Goombo! It's been so long. I know you've been living a life of quiet retirement, coasting off of the royalties sent your way by people mistaking you for Goomba. Nothing wrong with a little fraud. No one's getting hurt here. Least of all Goombo, who has not been at odds with Mario since 1989! If you'd like to come out of retirement for one last job in eye-popping HD, that would be quite exciting, but do whatever makes you comfortable. What HAVE you been doing all these years, Goombo?
"Honestly, not much. I've spent most of that time just hanging out, being content. I don't need a lot to be happy. But when you made that post about me all those years ago, and I saw that there were people out there with love in their hearts for little ol' me, it made me realize that I don't have to settle for 'content'. It inspired me to try some new hobbies, and I've found one that really feels like my calling."
Oh? What might that be, Goombo?
"I've gotten really into competitive guinea pig breeding. I'm on my 127th linear generation of G-pigs currently. They give me purpose in life."
Wow!!!
