#goob squad

You think witchers get zoomies?

They just send them out in the yard for a bit so nothing gets broken.

“Jaskier look how fast I can go!”

For a prompt, what about geraksier in whatever setting, they’re JUST FRIENDS OK, until one of them starts to get jealous and then realises OH. Oh no. And then some sort of confession and they get together?

ILY 😘💕🦐

This!

This...

This cannot be happening.

Geralt is a Witcher! He’s a strong, emotionally unavailable, incredibly stoic monster-slayer with an empty black void where his heart should be; or at least that’s what he’d thought before this gorgeous blue-eyed idiot came traipsing into his life all full of love and sunshine and happiness and shit.

Forcing Geralt to confront his toxic traits and overcome them.

Telling Geralt how sweet and kind and caring he is, reminding the grumpy Witcher how often he tends to get involved in things and how to work through those things more carefully, treating Geralt like an actual person and not just a machine made for killing...

It’s absolutely gods-damned infuriating!

And now, watching the bard flirt rather badly with a handsome stable hand from across the tavern, Geralt feels his not-so-calloused heart seize and burn and throb. His palms begin to sweat as his fists clench and his face heats; he’s jealous. He’s jealous of this nameless backwater village boy who will probably not make it past fifty years of age. 

Geralt is jealous of him because Jaskier is twirling a lock of his ruddy auburn hair around one lute-calloused finger and smiling at him. A smile that Geralt covets. A smile that Geralt desires.

He growls and hides his face in his mug of beer. He won’t let it show. Won’t let the world see that Witchers can be broken down and cracked open and hurt. 

Not Geralt of Rivia.

But then Jaskier shoots him that look. The one with the wide, curious eyes and the little pink tongue that darks out to wet his plush lips and...

Geralt is suddenly standing. Suddenly striding across the hay-strewn wooden floor to Jaskier’s side.

Oh fuck. 

That thing, the thing that Geralt knew could not be happening?

I know its a whole week later than I said it would be. Think of this as a late Christmas present? Anyway on with the shrimp!

Its not that Shrimpskier and Shrimpralt didn't hang out before, but after the shrimpy kiss by the mistletoe the two shrimps were together a lot more than before. Deciding to make it official and to show Shrimpskier how much he adored him, Shrimpralt invited the lovely singing shrimp to the reef that he called home.

Shrimpralt had fretted over introducing his new relationshrimp to his family, but he needn't have worried, his family, and even extended family when counting the other shrimps his brother and father were dating, all took to Shrimpskier like whales to plankton; fully embracing the new little shrimp in their midst and inviting him into their lives.

Shrimpskier found fast friends in Shrimpskel and Shrimpden, and a new set of parents to dote on him in Shrimpxart and Shrimpemir. Even the very prickly Shrimpbert found common ground with melodic shrimp.

Shrimpralt was relieved that Shrimpskier as well seemed to like and take to his family as his family had taken to him, though he could do with a few less pranks and embarrassing stories from his early shrimphood.

His family was protective over the new little shrimp that had been added to the family as well. A few weeks into their stay at his winter reef home, the whole crew had been out in the open reef area, searching for food and fun, frolicking about and playing games (as certain shrimp are fond of), when the incident happened. Shrimpskier had wondered too close to a ledge and was on the verge of becoming someone's dinner when the whole band Shwitcher's noticed the impending doom and took up pinchers against the predator! Fighting it off fiercely and saving the bardic shrimp! Shrimpskier was summarily shrimpysat for the rest of the excursion, though he didn't say much, a tad traumatized, as any shrimp would be, getting that close to death.

Shrimpskier was attached to shrimpralt for the next week, needing many shrimp kisses and hugs to overcome the event, not that Shrimpralt minded, preferring to stick close to his love when possible.

Shrimpskier produced quiet the ballad about the shwitchers bravery in coming to his rescue and sang it frequently to the other shwitchers, showing his gratitude. The rest of the winter was spent merrily, with a lovely shrimpmas celebration.

~~~~~~~~~ The End~~~~~~~~~~~

@electricrituals @softnerdypeter @herostag @stinastar @hailhailsatan @theamazingbard @elliestormfound @bounce-a-coin-off-your-witcher @thecomfortofoldstorries @wherethewordsare @veritasrose @jaskierswolf @leevila-today

Egg Discourse

Okay, I was on board for the first part but don’t make me google breeding kink and figging 💖💖💖

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Aiden: fuck you, you arsehole

Lambert: fuck me? FUCK YOU .... SLUT