CW: angst (with happy ending), emotionally constipated reader, fear of commitment, SMUT!!
Satoru is really pathetic in this one (but there's payoff, i swear)
4.8k words
The music thumped heavily through the walls of the engineering frat house. The birthday party was pure chaos— red cups scattered everywhere, people grinding in the living room, and the air thick with the smell of weed.
You were in the kitchen, leaning against the island with a gin tonic in hand. You weren’t trying to get blackout drunk, just wanted to forget the disaster that was your last final.
Suddenly, a tall figure appeared beside you, reaching for a bottle of rum.
“Mind passing me that?” he asked in a smooth, confident voice
You turned and looked up.
Even under the shitty party lighting, he stood out. Tall, with that signature snow-white hair, striking blue eyes, and an aura of effortless charm that screamed trouble. Put simply, he was stupidly attractive.
You handed him the bottle without a word.
“Thanks,” he said, but instead of walking away he stayed, studying you with curiosity. “I don’t think I’ve seen you around much. Friend of the birthday guy?”
“Friend of his girlfriend,” you replied, taking a sip of your drink. “Only here because she dragged me.”
Gojo let out an amused chuckle, his grin widening “I like the honesty”
The conversation flowed surprisingly well. He was quick-witted, funny in the right way, and didn’t try too hard. One drink turned into two, then three. The flirting became more obvious — lingering looks, teasing remarks, his body slowly inching closer to yours.
An hour later you were both upstairs in one of the empty bedrooms. You pushed him against the wall the moment the door clicked shut, mouth crashing into his while your fingers tugged urgently at his belt.
The kiss was hot, messy, and intense, tongues sliding together as his hands roamed down your sides. You tugged at his shirt impatiently.
He chuckled against your lips, pulling back just enough to yank the shirt over his head, revealing a toned, lean torso. You ran your hands over his chest as he worked on your clothes, peeling your top off and unhooking your bra with practiced ease.
“You’re gorgeous,” he muttered, mouth latching onto your neck, sucking and biting while his hands cupped your breasts, thumbs brushing over your nipples until they hardened.
You moaned softly, fingers threading through his white hair “Just fuck me already”
He lifted you effortlessly and dropped you gently onto the bed. Then he yanked your pants and panties down in one swift motion. You heard his belt buckle, the zipper, and the tear of a condom wrapper.
He rubbed the thick head of his cock against your soaked entrance, teasing you for a second before thrusting in deep.
“Fuck,” you both moaned at the same time.
He was huge, just as the rumors said. Everything about him was big — that tall figure hovering over you, broad shoulders, and the way he stretched you so deliciously full.
He gave you barely a moment before he started moving. The sound of skin slapping against skin filled the room as he fucked you, one hand gripping your hip, the other reaching around to rub your clit.
“You feel so fucking good” he growled, pounding into you faster.
You were moaning loudly, pushing against him with every thrust. The pleasure built fast and intense, and your orgasm crashed over you without warning, walls clenching around his cock as pleasure ripped through your body.
Gojo groaned at the feeling, fucking you through it before his own pace faltered. He buried himself deep and came with a low, rough moan.
For a few moments, the only sound was your heavy breathing.
He pulled out carefully, disposed of the condom, and collapsed onto the bed beside you, still catching his breath.
You, however, didn’t stay. You sat up almost immediately and started gathering your clothes.
“Already leaving?” he asked, his eyebrows slightly raised
“Mhm,” you muttered, pulling your top back on.
Gojo propped himself up on one elbow, watching you quietly as you fixed your clothes. Before you reached the door, he spoke again.
“At least tell me your name?”
For the first time since getting out of bed, you actually looked at him. “Maybe next time.”
And with that, you slipped out of the room, leaving him lying there naked on the bed, staring at the door with a furrowed brow
Three weeks later you were at your best friend’s apartment for a small get-together. You walked in carrying snacks and froze in the doorway.
Satoru Gojo was sitting on the couch, long legs spread, wearing a black compression shirt that should be illegal. Next to him was your best friend’s boyfriend… and apparently, Gojo had become pretty close to him.
Your best friend grinned. “Oh good, you’re here!”
Gojo’s head snapped toward you, but didn’t say anything. The night went on normally, at least on the surface. You laughed with your friends and played stupid games. But you could feel his eyes on you the entire time. Every time you moved, every time you laughed, he was watching.
Later, when people started leaving, he caught you in the hallway.
“Can we talk?” he asked quietly.
You raised an eyebrow. “About what?”
“About the fact that I haven’t stopped thinking about you since that night.”
“It was one night. We had fun. That's it.”
He stepped closer, towering over you, but his voice was surprisingly gentle. Almost cautious.
“What if I want more? You left without even telling me your name. I had to ask your friend”
You stared at him for a long moment, caught slightly off guard.
“I don’t do relationships. And I don’t do exclusivity. If you’re looking for something serious, I’m not the girl for you”
His jaw tightened, but after a second he shrugged, that easy smirk returning.
“Then I’ll take whatever you’re willing to give me.”
You should have walked away right then. Instead, you grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him into the bathroom.
That became the pattern. Days turned into weeks before either of you realized it. You’d text him late at night, and he’d show up at your dorm or you’d go to his fancy off-campus apartment after classes. The sex was incredible every single time — sometimes rough and desperate, sometimes slow and teasing. But every time he tried to stay the night or asked to see you for something other than sex, you shut it down.
“I’m not looking for anything serious,” you’d remind him.
And every time, Satoru would smile like it didn’t hurt and say, “I know.”
But it did hurt. He was falling hard, and he knew it. He started turning down other girls without hesitation. His friends teased him about how whipped he was getting, but he didn’t care. He just wanted you — in any way you’d let him have you.
One night after you’d ridden him until both of you were shaking, you tried to get up and leave like always.
His arms tightened around your waist.
“Stay,” he whispered against your shoulder. “Just this once.”
You froze, then gently pried his hands off.
You got dressed in silence. When you glanced back before closing the door, he was sitting on the edge of the bed, head lowered, white hair falling over his eyes. He looked… defeated. And yet he still texted you the next day.
“So… there’s a university couple’s event next weekend. You should bring someone!” your best friend said
You laughed. “Yeah, that’s not gonna happen”
Her eyes sparkled mischievously. “What about Gojo?”
“Right. Maybe he’ll bring someone else” She shrugged
The thought of him showing up with another girl made something ugly and sharp bloom in your chest.
You hated that feeling. Because you weren’t supposed to care.
The event was louder than you expected. Couples were everywhere: kissing in corners, dancing way too close, feeding each other snacks like they were in some cheesy rom-com. It made your skin crawl a little.
You hadn’t brought anyone. Instead, you showed up in a tight black dress that showed just enough cleavage and skin. You told yourself it wasn’t for anyone in particular.
But when Satoru Gojo walked in wearing a loose white button-up with the first few buttons undone and black pants that sat low on his hips, you knew you were lying to yourself.
His eyes found you instantly. That bright blue gaze dragged slowly down your body, then back up. He didn’t even try to hide the hunger. He made his way over, hands in his pockets.
“You didn’t text me to come with you.”
“Didn’t think I needed to. We’re not together”
Something flickered across his face — quick, sharp, gone in a second. But his smile stayed.
The rest of the night continued like that. You talked with people, laughed, and danced a little. Gojo stayed nearby, always watching. Every time a guy approached you, you felt his stare burning into your back.
At one point, a tall guy from your literature class leaned in to say something in your ear over the music. You laughed at his joke.
Later, you slipped outside to get some air. The backyard was quieter, only a few couples making out in the shadows.
You reached a darker spot behind a tree when you heard footsteps behind you.
“You’ve been avoiding me all night,” Satoru said
You turned. He was standing too close, his eyes dark
“I’m not avoiding you. I’m just existing in the same place as you”
“Existing while other guys whisper in your ear?” He stepped even closer, towering over you. “While you laugh at their shitty jokes?”.
“We’re not exclusive, Satoru. I told you that from the start.”
“I know what you said.” His hand came up, fingers brushing your jaw. “Doesn’t stop me from hating it.”
The possessiveness in his voice should’ve annoyed you. Instead, your gaze dropped to his mouth.
You grabbed his shirt and pulled him down into a hard kiss. He groaned into your mouth, hands immediately sliding down to grip your ass, his leg sliding between yours
Your breath hitched against his lips.
“You drive me crazy,” he growled between kisses
You rocked your hips against his thigh, your panties already soaked. He grabbed one of your legs and hooked it around his waist, pressing his own higher to give you better friction.
“Come for me, soak my pants. I know you can do it”
His words sent a dark thrill through you. You came with a broken cry, walls clenching around nothing. He kissed you softly this time — slow, almost tender. His fingers brushed a strand of hair out of your face.
“Stay with me tonight,” he whispered, his forehead resting briefly against yours. “My place’s closer.”
You looked up at him. Those beautiful blue eyes were wide open, vulnerable in a way that made your chest tighten. For a second, you almost said yes.
“I can’t. I have an early class tomorrow.”
For a moment, neither of you moved. Then you smoothed down your dress, turned around, and walked away.
He didn’t try to stop you.
The next weeks nothing changed; you’d have incredible sex that left you both exhausted and satisfied, then you’d slip out the door before either of you could pretend it meant something more
But then, jealousy crept in. You started noticing how other girls still flirted with him — especially a girl named Mei Mei from the business department who was bold and gorgeous. You hated how it made you feel.
So you did what you always did when feelings got too complicated: you pushed back harder.
You hooked up with someone else. Just once. A random guy. It was mediocre at best.
When Satoru found out — because of course he did — something in him cracked.
That night the sex was different — rougher, almost angry. He fucked you like he was trying to erase the memory of anyone else inside you. He had you on all fours, your back arching as he thrusted deep and hard, whispering filthy things mixed with soft pleas.
“Only me… fuck, please let it be only me…”
You came harder than you had in weeks. Afterwards, he didn’t try to make you stay. He just lay there, an arm over his eyes, breathing uneven. You dressed in silence, but before you left, you hesitated at the door.
“Don’t,” he said quietly. “Just… go.”
You left. And it felt like shit.
The following week was hell. You threw yourself into classes, assignments, and parties — anything to keep your mind off the way Satoru had looked at you that night. The quiet defeat in his voice still echoed in your head. You hated it. You hated how it made your chest feel tight.
You didn’t text him. He didn’t text you. The silence was worse than the fighting. Your best friend noticed something was wrong and cornered you on campus
“Okay, spill. What’s going on with you and Gojo? He looks like shit and you’ve been acting weird.”
You shrugged, pushing food around your plate.
“Nothing. We’re just… casual.”
She raised an eyebrow. “Casual doesn’t usually make two people look miserable.”
That night, around 10pm., your phone lit up.
He showed up at your dorm in fifteen minutes, wearing a black hoodie and sweats, looking exhausted.
“I try, I really try to stop thinking about you, to stop wanting to see you. ‘Cause you’re killing me” he whispered, voice hoarse. “Slowly, painfully”
“I told you from the beginning what this was.” you said quietly, not looking at him
He let out a bitter laugh. He looked wrecked — hair messy, lips swollen, eyes glassy.
“Yeah. You did.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Doesn’t stop me from being in love with you though.”
The words hit you like a slap. You stared at him, heart hammering.
“Why not?” His voice cracked. “It’s true. I’ve been falling for you since that first night. And you know it. You’ve always known it.”
You felt panic rising in your chest. This was too much. Too real.
He stepped closer, cupping your face with both hands. His thumbs brushed your cheeks almost tenderly.
“I know you’re scared. I see it. But I’m right here. I’ll keep letting you use me if that’s what you need… but fuck, it hurts.”
This time, the sex was slower. He took his time undressing you, kissing every inch of skin he exposed. When he finally pushed inside you, it was deep and deliberate, his eyes locked on yours the entire time.
“I love you,” he whispered as he moved inside you, voice raw. “I love you so fucking much.”
You closed your eyes, refusing to say it back. But your body betrayed you — clinging to him, nails digging into his back, legs wrapped tight around his waist.
He made you come twice like that — slow, deep, devastating — before he finally let himself finish.
Afterwards, he didn’t let you leave the bed. He pulled you against his chest and held you tight, even when you tried to pull away. He didn’t ask, but you stayed.
When morning came, you slipped out of his arms again while he was still sleeping. You left a note on the nightstand:
Lock the door when you leave
He read it three times, then crumpled it in his fist. For the first time in months, he didn’t text you. He didn’t chase.
You spent the next five days pretending everything was fine. You went to class, laughed with friends. But nothing felt right. Every time your phone buzzed, your heart jumped, hoping it was him. It never was.
On the sixth night, your best friend dragged you to a big party. The moment you walked in, you saw him.
Satoru was in the living room, surrounded by people as usual. But something was different. He had a drink in his hand and Mei Mei practically draped over his arm, laughing loudly at something he said. Her fingers traced circles on his chest.
Your stomach twisted violently.
You told yourself you didn’t care. You grabbed a strong drink and forced yourself to flirt with the first decent guy who approached you. But your eyes kept drifting back to him.
When your eyes met across the room, his expression went blank for a second. Then he pulled Mei Mei closer, whispering something in her ear that made her giggle.
That was the breaking point.
You stormed upstairs, heart pounding with anger and something that felt dangerously like heartbreak. Two minutes later the door opened.
Satoru stepped inside and locked it behind him.
“You really moved on fast,” you snapped before he could speak.
He laughed bitterly, walking toward you.
“Me? You’re the one who left a fucking note telling me to ‘lock the door when you leave’ after I told you I loved you.”
“You were letting Mei Mei crawl all over you, that’s how you love?”
“Because you keep pushing me away!” His voice rose. “What the hell do you want from me? You fuck me, you leave, you tell me not to fall for you, but the second I give someone else attention you lose it?”
You were breathing hard, chest tight with emotions you refused to name.
“I never asked you to wait for me.”
“No, you didn’t.” He stepped closer until you were inches apart. “But I did it anyway. Like an idiot.”
Something snapped between you. You crashed into him at the same time he reached for you. The kiss was violent — teeth clashing, tongues fighting, hands grabbing desperately. He shoved you onto the bed, crawling over you and pinning your wrists above your head with one hand.
“You drive me fucking insane,” he growled, biting down on your neck hard enough to leave a mark. “I hate how much I need you.”
“Shut up” you hissed, but your voice cracked.
He ripped your dress open, buttons flying. He didn’t bother with gentleness. He shoved your bra down and sucked hard on your nipple, teeth grazing the sensitive bud while his hand pushed your panties aside. Two thick fingers plunged inside you without warning, curling instantly against your g-spot.
You arched off the bed with a loud moan.
“So wet already,” he muttered against your skin. “Always so fucking ready for me.”
He finger-fucked you roughly, thumb rubbing fast circles on your clit until your thighs shook. When you were right on the edge, he pulled his fingers out, ignoring your frustrated whine.
He freed his cock — rock hard, flushed dark, already leaking precum. He rolled on a condom in record time and slammed into you in one brutal thrust.
“Fuck!” you cried out, nails digging into his shoulders.
He didn’t hold back. He fucked you like he was punishing both of you — deep strokes that made the bed slam against the wall. Every thrust dragged against that perfect spot inside you, sending sparks of pleasure-pain through your body.
“Look at me,” he demanded, grabbing your chin. His blue eyes were wild, glassy with lust and heartbreak. “Look at me while I fuck you.”
You locked eyes with him as he pounded into you. The intensity was overwhelming. He leaned down, forehead pressed to yours, breathing ragged.
“I’ll say it again because I mean it,” he whispered, his voice breaking. “I love you.”
Tears stung your eyes. You didn’t answer. Instead you pulled him down into a desperate kiss, legs wrapping tighter around his waist.
He changed angles slightly, hitting even deeper. Your orgasm crashed over you without warning — hard, shattering, leaving you sobbing his name as your walls clenched around him.
He groaned loudly, hips stuttering as he came right after you, burying himself as deep as possible.
For a long moment, neither of you moved. He stayed inside you, face buried in your neck. You could feel his tears against your skin.
He pulled out slowly and started dressing. When you noticed his hands were shaking you sat up, chest aching.
He looked at you one last time, eyes red-rimmed. “If you ever figure out what you actually want you know where to find me. But I’m done chasing.”
You stared at the ceiling for ten minutes, feeling emptier than you ever had, silent tears streaming down your face.
The next two weeks were the worst of your life. You avoided parties. Avoided friends. Threw yourself into studying until you burned out. Every night you stared at your phone, thumb hovering over his contact.
Not just the sex. You missed his stupid jokes, his voice, the way he looked at you like you were the only person in the room.
The denial finally cracked on a rainy Thursday night.
You showed up at his apartment soaked from the rain, banging on the door at 2 a.m.
When he opened it, he looked like shit — bags under his eyes, hair messy, wearing only sweatpants.
You didn’t say anything. You just stepped forward and kissed him. This time it was different.
The kiss was desperate and messy, rain dripping from your hair onto his bare chest. Satoru froze for half a second, then his arms wrapped around you like he was afraid you’d disappear again. He pulled you inside, kicking the door shut behind you without breaking the kiss.
“You’re soaked,” he murmured against your lips, but he didn’t let go. His hands slid under your wet shirt, gripping your waist like he needed to feel you were real.
“I’m sorry,” you whispered, voice cracking. “I’m so fucking sorry.”
He pulled back just enough to look at you. His eyes were tired, guarded, but that familiar softness was still there underneath the pain.
“I’ve been scared. Scared of how much I want you. Scared that the second I stopped pretending I didn’t care, you’d have the power to break my heart. So I pushed you away. And in the process, I hurt you. I’m so sorry.”
He searched your face, as if trying to figure out whether this was real or just another moment that would disappear by tomorrow.
“I meant what I said. I’m in love with you but I can’t do the back and forth anymore. I need to know if you’re really here… or if you’re going to run again in the morning.”
You looked straight into those beautiful blue eyes and finally stopped lying to yourself.
“I’m here. I want you. All of you. No more running. No more pretending it’s just sex”
Your throat tightened, but for the first time, the words didn’t terrify you.
For a moment, he just stared at you.
Like he couldn’t quite believe he’d heard those words.
A shaky laugh escaped him, and he dragged a hand over his face. When he looked at you again, his eyes were bright.
You smiled through your tears.
He pulled you into a deep kiss, holding your face between his hands like you were the most precious thing in the world. When he finally pulled back, he rested his forehead against yours.
“I’ve waited so long to hear that.”
Without another word, he stood up, lifting you effortlessly into his arms. You wrapped your legs around his waist as he carried you to his bathroom.
He set you down gently on the edge of the large bathtub and turned on the water, adjusting the temperature until it was perfectly warm.
Neither of you spoke while he helped you out of your soaked clothes. The wet fabric clung stubbornly to your skin, and more than once his fingertips brushed bare skin, making your breath catch.
He tossed the clothes aside and poured a generous amount of bath oil into the water, watching as fragrant foam slowly filled the tub.
He helped you into the tub first, then slid in behind you, pulling your back against his chest. The warm water enveloped both of you, soothing and relaxing.
Satoru’s hands started moving slowly over your body.
He began with your shoulders, his long fingers pressing firmly into the tense muscles, massaging them in slow, deep circles. You let out a soft moan as he worked out the knots you didn’t even realize you had. His hands traveled down your arms, then back up, rubbing gently.
Then he scooped up handfuls of foam and spread it across your chest, his palms gliding smoothly over your breasts. He massaged them tenderly, thumbs brushing over your nipples until they hardened under his touch. The combination of warm water, slippery foam, and his careful hands made your body melt against him.
His hands moved lower, rubbing slow circles over your stomach, then your hips and thighs under the water, massaging with firm, loving strokes. Every touch was gentle but deliberate, like he was trying to memorize every inch of you.
You were breathing heavier now, arousal mixing with the deep relaxation.
He hummed against your neck, pressing open-mouthed kisses along your skin while one of his hands slipped between your thighs. His fingers found your clit easily under the water, rubbing slow, teasing circles.
“You’re so beautiful like this,” he whispered, voice husky. “All mine.”
The tension built quickly. You turned your head to kiss him, needy and deep. He groaned into your mouth as you shifted, turning around to straddle him in the tub.
Water sloshed over the edges as you sank down onto his cock in one smooth motion. Both of you moaned loudly at the feeling. He was so deep like this, the warm water making everything feel even more intense and slippery.
“Fuck, baby…” he groaned, hands gripping your hips tightly.
“I love you,” you breathed against his lips as you started riding him slowly at first, hands braced on his shoulders, eyes locked on his.
Satoru’s breath hitched. “I love you too,” he whispered, voice rough with emotion. “I love you so fucking much.”
The foam and water moved between your bodies as you rocked against him. Satoru’s hands roamed everywhere — squeezing your ass, sliding up your back, cupping your breasts again while you moved.
Soon the pace quickened. He thrust up to meet you, water splashing rhythmically as he fucked you deeper. One of his hands slipped between you again, rubbing your clit in fast circles.
Your orgasm hit you hard, crying out his name as your walls clenched tightly around his bare cock. The feeling pushed Satoru over the edge right after you — with a deep, broken moan he buried himself as deep as possible and came inside you, spilling hot and thick into your pussy.
He buried his face in the crook of your neck. You held him close, fingers running through his damp white hair while the two of you slowly came back down.
Then he pulled you into his arms, holding you tightly against his chest.
“No more running?” he asked quietly.
“No more running,” you promised, pressing a kiss to his collarbone. “I’m yours. If you’ll still have me after everything I put you through.”
He chuckled softly, the sound vibrating through his chest. “I was always going to take you back. I’m pathetic when it comes to you.”
“You’re not pathetic,” you said, lifting your head to look at him. “You’re patient. And kind. And way too good for me.”
Satoru smiled — that real, bright smile you hadn’t seen in weeks — and kissed you softly.
“We’re going to do this properly. Dates. Actual dates. I’m taking you out tomorrow night. No excuses.”
You laughed, the sound light and free. “Deal.”
Satoru looked up from his phone, where he had just taken yet another candid photo of you, and grinned unapologetically. That bright, boyish smile still made your chest flutter even after all this time.
“I have a hot girlfriend,” he said with a shrug. “Sue me.”
You rolled your eyes, but you couldn’t stop the smile tugging at your lips. “You’ve taken like twenty pictures already. Delete some.”
“Nope,” he replied, leaning back against the couch with zero shame. “These are going straight into my ‘how did I pull this’ folder.”
You threw a pen at him. He caught it effortlessly, laughing.
“Well, actually, I know how,” he said, counting on his fingers. “Relentless dedication. Natural charm. Soft hair. Being more emotionally available. And my amazing dick, probably.”
“The fact that you think that’s the reason is genuinely concerning.”
“So you’re saying there was a chance even without the amazing dick?”
He laughed louder, clearly pleased with himself, and then he stood up and walked over, dropping down behind you on the floor where you were studying. He wrapped his long arms around your waist and pulled you back against his chest, resting his chin on your shoulder.
“I love you,” he murmured, voice soft and warm against your skin. “Even when you pretend to be annoyed by my photos.”
You leaned your head back against his shoulder, smiling. “I love you too, Toru”
cr: @_3aem on X for the art used in Satoru's text :)
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