Dottore should NEVERâI mean NEVERâbe allowed within a 500 mile radius of:
Light Yagami Because the second they start debating morality, the global homicide rate triples and this partnership fails because both of them have superiority complexes the size of Jupiter and would eventually attempt to kill each other over who gets to monologue first.
L Lawliet L would figure him out in 12 minutes and Dottore would dedicate the next 12 years to being annoying about it.
L would take one look at Dottore and immediately go: âInteresting. You smile too often when discussing medical ethics. Statistical probability of crimes against humanity: 97.4%.â And Dottoreâ who normally manipulates entire nations effortlesslyâ would become irrationally obsessed with the fact that some weird barefoot detective clocked him in under fifteen minutes. Dottore would escalate SO hard. L: âYouâre upset.â Dottore, building six new clones out of spite: âI donât know what you mean.â
William Afton The phrase âchild experimentationâ would enter the chat and every god would immediately log off. This is less âmad scientists collaboratingâ and more âthe universe creating a concentrated sphere of bad decisions.â Afton would show Dottore haunted animatronics and Dottore would react like he just discovered sliced bread. âYouâre telling me the SOULS stayed attached to the machinery?âAnd then theyâd both say âfascinatingâ at the same time and everyone within a fifty mile radius would need therapy.
Rick Sanchez At some point one of them says: âOkay but theoretically what happens if we force a god into a particle collider?â And then the multiverse starts buffering. Morty would die instantly from stress alone.
Makima Manipulation battle so toxic the atmosphere itself becomes a biohazard.
This isnât a conversation. This is psychological warfare with eye contact. Makima would manipulate Dottore. Dottore would KNOW heâs being manipulated. Makima would know he knows. Dottore would manipulate her back just to see what happens. Meanwhile everyone around them is developing stress-induced migraines because the room feels like two apex predators politely discussing cannibalism over tea.
Orochimaru Theyâd exchange research notes like teenage girls swapping skincare routines. âOmg your human experimentation method is SO clean.â
Theyâd spend seventeen straight hours discussing immortality research while everyone else in the room slowly realizes they are witnessing the scientific equivalent of two nuclear bombs shaking hands. Kabuto would take notes. Dottoreâs clones would take notes. The notes themselves would probably violate human rights.
Kenjaku No. Absolutely not. Kenjaku sees humanity as an experiment. Dottore sees morality as an obstacle. Together they would look at evolution itself and go: âCan we make it worse?â The phrase âfor scienceâ would become a planetary extinction event.
Even Sukuna would probably stare at them like: âwhat the hell is wrong with you peopleâ
Osamu Dazai This one is dangerous because they would ENJOY each other. Dazai would instantly realize Dottore is completely insane. Dottore would instantly realize Dazai hides his intelligence behind clown behavior. And then theyâd spend the next month psychologically tormenting each other for entertainment. No one would know whose side Dazai is on. INCLUDING Dazai. Meanwhile Dottore is having the time of his life because finally someone understands his sense of humor. Unfortunately their shared sense of humor is âcreating irreversible emotional damage.â
Fyodor Dostoevsky The SECOND these two meet, church bells start ringing ominously somewhere. Their conversations would sound like this: Fyodor: âSin is intrinsic to humanity.â Dottore: âCounterpoint: have you tried removing parts of the humanity?â And somehow it only gets worse from there. They would discuss mass suffering like wine critics discussing flavor profiles. The casualty count would become mathematically difficult to calculate.












