seen from France
seen from Poland
seen from Bangladesh
seen from Germany
seen from Poland
seen from Thailand
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Brazil
seen from France
seen from Netherlands
seen from Morocco
seen from France
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from South Korea
There’s probably a little note behind the counter at any local stores that sell rocks or crystals that’s like “Please keep an eye on this customer, they’re not a shoplifter but they have tried to eat merchandise” with Gnawbone’s picture on it
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You know if I try to pop Gnawbone into a Mundane Setting they almost become a Complete Self Insert because they’d probably end up being a traumatized, autistic, psychotic kid that wasn’t properly socialized as a child
They’d chew on everything and have poor volume modulation and they probably can’t handle socializing without someone they already know around (Or a dog, any dog) (I can barely handle dogs so that’s not quite me)
I just realized I never gave Gnawbone any brand of People Name
Number Four on that particular list of things Gnawbone has eaten is literally a Maliwan Electrified Animosity pistol
Ten Things This Slagged Monster Hybrid Has Eaten; Number 4 Will SHOCK You!!!
Dances With Dirt - Gnaw Bone 50K Recap
The race began on a pleasant, clear morning at 6:15. A comfortable jog to the main trail and the ascent begins. A very comfortable run through the woods for a couple miles and then we hit the single track. After 7+ hours of running the chronology gets kind of blurry, but I recall many miles of twisty downhills and many more miles of mind-numbing uphills, at least 4 miles picking our way through dense woods where NO trail existed, just looking for the next pink flag to progress to. Ran around a few lakes, on the horse trails (dodging horse poop), on the bike trails (dodging mountain bikers), through a campground and eventually through a thigh-high stream to the final stretch. Along the way I met so many amazing, supportive and wonderfully insane people - from the Ohio State fan who chose NOT to trip me (a diehard Wolverine) because we were running different events, to a couple speaking Spanish until the fatigue caused them to switch back to English because, as one explained "I'm so tired I can't think in Spanish".
The check-in stations were well stocked with water, Gatorade, Coke, Sprite, Sweet Tea, cookies, PB&J, Oreos, Pringles, boiled and salted potatoes, pretzel rods, Gu, oranges, bananas, M&Ms, trail mix, vasoline, sun screen, insect repellant . . .
Weather held out for us the entire run. Comfortably warm but never too hot. A little rain, but nothing more than a refreshing sprinkle. The worst wildlife we encountered was a skittish Shi-Tsu, an inch worm on Tom's neck and a very determined deer fly.
Despite the cramping and ankle pain, Tom and I kicked it into high gear and ended the run on a balls-out sprint through the final stretch into the finish - definitely a highlight as all the spectators stood and cheered us on for finishing so strong. Running diva (and 1st place finisher in her age group!) Jayann greeted us at the finish line with 50K magnets which immediately went on my car. A delicious pulled pork sandwich and complimentary porter from the local brewery hit the spot like you can't even imagine!
And if THAT sounds crazy, consider this . . . our friend's 23 year-old daughter ran the 50 mile event and finished third overall! AND . . . wait for it . . . this was her 50 mile training run for her 100 miler in June!!! When I was 23 I considered myself a badass because I stayed out until 4am on weekends. I am truly humbled.
This is by far the toughest physical challenge I've faced to date. The months of training and weekly 20+ mile long runs became incredibly tedious. My twisted ankle last weekend kept me in mild to moderate discomfort throughout the run. I've been swearing over these past few weeks that this will be my first and last 50K. I'm singing a different tune today . . . already looking forward to the next one!
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I'm thinking about all my Borderlands OCs actually having to like, live together
"How the FUCK do we stop Gnawbone from eating our shit?"
*Plays the Canadian "Don't you put it in your mouth" PSA*
*Gnawbone is later seen gnawing on the tape*
Watching Suspiria with Gnawbone more like *Screaming about devouring your bones so loudly that you can't read the subtitles*
Gnawbone's Official Gender is *Shoves entire deconstructed pistol into fucked up maw*
