Treadmill is the only gym thingy I know who to use - okay this one time i did use the one that kinda has a step that goes up and down. Anyway, I am 5 mins on treadmill and I start hyperventilating. This is what happens when you haven't gymmed in like forever! Is “gymmed” even a word? Wateva! 

So I spent next 30 mins walking on it watching all the flawless people workout - like they even need it! (eye roll). This woman next to me is a perfect size 0 with boobs and a perfect booty; how does that even happen? selective mass accumulation in one’s body! Think her boobs aren't real, are they? they can’t be. Damn she caught me staring at her buttocks :| EEEE... Okay, guess it’s time to leave now.