and neither does Rory actually⦠if you think about it
Β This has been a long time coming and I always was asked to explain why I dislike Jess, for Rory. I donβt hate Jess, as a character I think his backgrounds are interesting and his lashing out understandable because of it. As a teacher I feel for the past they recreate in that character, and his troubles because IRL I know men who have a similar background history. But that doesnβt mean I have to like himβ¦ much less believe even in the slighest heβsΒ βthe best choiceβ for Rory orΒ βthe only one who truly understands herβ. Sorry no, my one and only choice for Rory will always be Logan, why? Because to me if you watch the show and the revival is clear as day who she chooses to be with, and who she turns to. Each and every time regardless on how many times they say goodbye.
I donβt like Jess because he first arrived and was totally not just disrespectful but downright insulting to Lorelai, (honestly the pie comments were far too wholesome I would have slapped his rude mouth and tossed him out). He was a guest in her house and he basically called her a whore because she was talking kindly about her friend.Β
Heβs rude to Luke and I get it, heβs angry heβs upset to be sent like a package by a mother who is the only parent he has, who canβt control him and doesnβt want to deal with him because she doesnβt know how to be a parent, but at the same time loved him enough to want to do better for him because she knows she can't succeed, so sends him to the one person she KNOWS AND TRUSTS who might make a difference with him, the one person who always helps her. If she didn't care for her son she would have let him be whatever, let him get in trouble, let him end up in jail or worse who knows, but she loved her son enough to want to do something for him that she knew was beyond her. So she sends him away, and I get it, he arrives like a package without a choice, to this little weird town where he doesnβt know anyone or understands if he suddenly landed in a loony bin or in an alien planet (I mean I feel for the guy, he goes out and sees people hanging garlands and little kids doing cartweels and suddenly a mother and daughter wearing THE SAME ONESIE! I mean WTF??! lol I understand his dismay, I do! Lol). I get it and I feel for him, however I donβt find it an excuse and carte blanche for him to be rude to everyone and treat the entire world as if they were beneath him nor I give him the pass for being the crappiest boyfriend to Rory, those things donβt excuse him. However I simply donβt like him FOR Rory because Rory doesnβt like him for Rory.Β
Most of Jessβ growth is assumed and not seen, I think is fantastic he lost the MASSIVE chip on his shoulder and started taking responsibility for his life and wrote a book, however we have no clue of what his personal life, because we barely see anything of that when he reappears, and why? Because the writers didnβt consider him that relevant to the show, or maybe he wasnβt that interested but still point is he wasnβt that relevant to the story. He had already been written out and the writers didnβt consider relevant to the story to know Jessβ personal life and backgrounds from the time he wasnβt around, because he was no longer important as any more than to make an effect then be on his way.
Dean, before leaving, had a background and a story, when he came back in the revival too, Logan had a story, he was seen in his many wrongs and in his growth and most of all and I canβt emphasize this enough: His RESPECT for Roryβs will. Say what you want about the situation and whatever Loganβs mistakes have been and whatever Rory AND Loganβs mistakes have been. He was always upfront and clear with Rory from day 1 onwards, heβs still waiting for her but at the same time heβs not hiding anything from her. And while neither of the boyfriends were perfect ever, far, far from it, Jess takes the prize (of the worst one) because he was by far the most disrespectful one and the one who, in the limited time, treated Rory the worst. And present tense (and past) Rory rejected him flat out multiple times in the original show:Β
1. The infamous Keg! Max! Incident. We will dwell on that one later on but for now letβs just get to the gist. She said wait, she said no, and he kept going. And if you are of the argument that her protests were too feeble and thatβs why he kept going thinking she was game, or that because she went up there she was game, then please grab the nearest brick before I can and throw it at you. No means NO, paraphrasing Paris, βmale, female or hermaphroditeβ no means no, period.
2. The silent phone call after Chilton graduation: She kept getting hang ups so she finally understands it must be Jess because as usual he doesnβt willingly comunicate so she uses the the chance in order to say her goodbyes. Rejection number 2:Β ββ¦thatβs it for me. Iβm going to Europe tomorrow and Iβm going to Yale and Iβm moving on. And Iβm not going to pine. I hope you didnβt think I was going to pine, okay? I thinkβ¦I think I may have loved you, but I just need to let it go. So, thatβs it, I guess.β She wanted him there but since he had yet again failed she decided the only thing left to do was move on. Once Rory makes up her mind about things, she stays headstrong until the end.
Letβs not forget this is the swell boyfriend that after making her feel bad for not sleeping with him (no, it wasnβt his intention but thatβs what happened) he went to explain but instead saw her talking to another guy, got jealous, made a snide remark got in a fight and wouldnβt talk to her at all, until she happened to find him in the same bus by chance. Why by chance, you say? Because he admitted taking a later bus. So he wouldnβt have to face her and say goodbye. Left without explanations and then kept calling and hanging up on her because he couldnβt even get the nerve to ask for forgiveness.
("Ghosting, because I'd rather at once show you I'm an asshole than slowly let you know that I suck")
3. When he tried to get her out of Yale, βcome with me letβs start over but away from this place weβll go to New York, weβll live together weβll workβ, she said no, he said βonly say no if you really donβt want to be with meβ and she said, guess what? NO. I get it he was desperate because he was finally owning up to his feelings of loving her and he wanted her to go with him there and then because he felt his window of oportunity was shutting down if it wasnβt shut already so he went and he pushed and pushed until he got a firm and loud NO.
And letβs dwell on this for a bit. People say Jess was the only one who really understood how much she loved college, because he really loved herβ¦ How is a guy who pretty much proposed her to drop out of college the one and only who truly understands her love for studying? He showed up out of nowhere after once again leaving (not forgetting his previous pop up where he said he loved her and bolted) with no contact at all nor any explanations about his behavior (season 4) and to come get away, run away with him to New York, to what? Oh thatβs right to live in a filthy mattress with view to the mold (Lukeβs words and letβs face it, the truth) in a crappy apartment with 10 other people. He didnβt ask her to leave to go on a vacation he proposed to live and work in NY. With no qualifications, a Rory who had been trained for nothing in the real world. Who hadnβt even worked in a store yet ever before. What would she have done? Hmm waitressing in NY, probably a messenger too, with crappy hours and crappy pay until she got bored of the boho life (which was never her style to begin with) and went back to Lorelai and back to where? Ah thatβs right the place Jess was demanding she dropped off.
4.Β Season 6 comes, (after the yelling, weβll get back to it, donβt you worry) after an entire season without him and we find Rory in a fight with Logan. When she went to his open house she was mad at Logan yet she didnβt want Jess, she wanted to use him, she told him she loved Logan. Plain and simple.
Letβs go back for a sec to a moment before in season 6. Him getting credit for getting her back to Yale, Iβm sorry but to me is ridiculous. To make him look like the knight in shining armor the one and only who saved her is, to me, just plain ridiculous and also underestimates and insults Rory. He came, yelled, she was already shaken and thinking what am I doing, she sees this guy who had nothing and had accomplished something big professionally and since she was ALREADY shaken she got shaken a bit more and made her choice to go back. Iβm not saying he was useless, neither am I saying he didnβt have any influence, he did but it was his presence and what he had accomplished while she had nothing in the works (by her own choice) and he was the last drop that spilled her glass that was already brimming. She was already headed that way. It was HER CHOICE, nobody MADE her go back, Rory may be indecisive so many times and insecure but when it comes to her own life, in the nitty gritty sheβs nobodyβs pushover. Lorelai knew, Logan knew, Lane knew, SHE.COULDNβT.BE.FORCED. Rory needed to decide on her own, she needed to learn from her OWN mistakes and make her own choices to find her way back. Had Jess come to shout earlier in her path he wouldnβt have made a single difference; He comes out of nowhere and with no previous contact whatsoever, shouts or gives an idea then disappears again. He left her without so much as a goodbye (after the yelling) or actually breaking up (when he first left town) with her. And this is the guy who KNOWS her best? Someone who she doesnβt talk to in years at the time? hmmmβ¦
5. Revival, they talk like old friends who havenβt seen or known of each other for quite a while (YEARS actually hmmm interesting friendship when they havenβt known of each other at all for years) yet she doesnβt share that much with him not even her difficulties while writing. Is a good conversation, is fun and I personally was so happy to see him for the first time EVER, I was so happy to see Jess, he seemed calmer, he seemed in a better place, more grounded, he genuinely tried to give his best advice as someone who was involved in a similar field of work.
But hereβs the thingβ¦ Why is his growth made SUCH A BIG DEAL? So he grew up! Was he expected to still be a sulky bratty disrespectful punk of a teenage boy at age 32, 33?? Wouldnβt that be sad? If a grown ass MAN was still acting like a resentful teenage BOY? I would feel so sad and it would feel so unrealistic for a human being with a minimum level of intelligence (and Jess has a good level of it) to NOT grow u and leave the βtude behind? It would be dumb if he didnβt, is only NATURAL for him to change and grow up, why shouldnβt he? Or are the expectations for his character so PAINFULLY low from his own adoring fans that they expected no change in him from ages 19, 20 to ages 32, 33? Did they really except him to still be the same and thatβs why his growth is so highlighted when it should be a natural thing? He was supposed to stop being a sulky disrespectful child at some point. What else do we know about him? Is there a mention of him having a successful relationship with anyone in all these years? Or even a semi committed relationship that in the end just parted ways? Is there any mention of him having had that? No.
Because it wasnβt relevant because we donβt have to know if he is in a better place in the romantic world, because (and I canβt stress this enough: HE π ISNβT π A π ROMANTIC π INTEREST π FOR RORY π.
ASP said it best, Jess and Dean were not meant to be forever. (even though she compared Dean to prince Charming and she said Jess is now family).
So back to the revival conversation (notice how she does not hug her friend even though she hasnβt seen him for years? She doesnβt even come near him, yet she hugs plenty of other people she hasnβt seen in a while)
He suggests out of the blue: a book. Why? βhe knows her better than anyone!β I hear you say. Sorry, no. He knows Rory as well as anyone who knows Rory. In the words of DeanΒ βA book. Well, youβve read them all, whatβs next is writing themβ. He gives a good idea, spends a couple of minutes talking to her, then goes his way, as usual because why not? Heβs got his life, heβs got his stuff, heβs always in the moment kind of guy. Is not that he doesnβt feel love (Miloβs words) but is not the romantic love anymore. Rory is Rory sheβs in her own world, lost at the moment but finding her path again enthusiastic about the new idea given by Jess. She tells Logan all about it and about her struggles in the meantime, and goes to Logan when she canβt understand her mom and is fighting with her, she tells Lane about it, she meets Dean by chance and HUGS Dean, and tells him about it while thanking him about being such a fantastic first boyfriend for her. And Jessβ¦ she jumps up and down excitedly without showing her author friend her pages, and grabbing the front of his shirt and his jacketβ¦ why? because he happened to be there.
Now, having finished with the plain and clear rejections. Letβs go back to the first one.
Keg! Max! Makes me mad for many reasons the main one being that she had to PUSH HIM OFF OF HER for him to react. I am completely, 100% sure he wasnβt going to rape her or even hurt her. Iβm sure that wasnβt the intention nor the purpose EVER, but the fact he needed to be pushed is what makes me mad and is inexcusable. She was trying to find out what was wrong with him because she was worried, but since he didnβt want to talk he tried to distract her by kissing her and lowering her on the bed to carry with the next βorder of businessβ as a way to shut her up.Β
I get it, teens and hormones (although 18, not really THAT excused) but Iβm not saying he needed to jump away from her the very second she said wait, he could have kissed her and ASKED what was wrong; he didnβt need to jump, just pause without having to be pushed! He yelled at her and that also makes me mad. I also understand he was frustrated about other things and took it out on her, that the yelling wasnβt really about that and that he felt bad for saying it and was planning to perhaps distract her say it wasnβt his intention or that heβd do better next time, because letβs face it, did he ever actually explain anything owned up to his mistakes? Did he ever apologize for anything, that we see during his time? Heβd distract her, try his best to make up but thatβs the point he just NEVER talked, (βI donβt know why he was mad at me I donβt know IF he was mad at me because he NEVER tells me anythingβ Roryβs words). He was just plain rude (rude to her grandma too but letβs not dwell on that) because in his mind actually doing something nice for his girlfriend, and actually communicate with his girlfriend made him a pushover.Β
The fight with Dean I actually understand, because if I came out of a room crying because of a fight with a guy and guy then showed up behind me annoyed (annoyed! He actually scoffed!), I have a good number of friends who would want his head, metaphorically speaking of course, even now as an adult. I get he didnβt yell really because she wouldnβt sleep with him but what really pisses me off is that he had to be pushed to react and move (his intention wasnβt to force her because he could have easily done that) then yelled and had the gall to be annoyed and afterwards radio silence, no apology no explanation he simply left and if they hadnβt seen each other by chance she wouldnβt have even seen him that time because he purposely took a later bus.Β
The Keg! Max! scene in Kyleβs bedroom is inexcusable and there is no coming back from it period, in my opinion, because how can you trust someone who never explains or apologizes and you never know why things happen with him or what is he going through.Β
I donβt think Jess is bad nor that he ever had bad intentions towards Rory, Iβm 100% convinced thatβs not the case. But he IS a bad boyfriend and that scene is so uncomfortable to me even though I had never had a similar experience and it makes me so mad every time I force myself to rewatch it to make sure Iβm not judging too hard. Iβm not. Jess wasnβt even a hormone filled teen here. He was 18. He didnβt want to have a conversation and tried to use sex as a distraction, as something interesting to make it happen, both to forget about his problems and get Rory to stop talking and questioning what happened.Β
Why is Rory blamed for βforcingβ him to talk and he isnβt for trying to force her to have sex with him? Thatβs what ended up happening. It wasnβt his intention or his plan, absolutely, granted; he did back off, granted; he never meant to hurt her, totally granted. Thing is he wasnβt a hormone riddled 15 year old (and even then, how about RESPECT someone who you apparently like? Never mind he wasnβt taught better, is common sense you donβt push your wants on someone who doesnβt want them, I like this person then I donβt want this person to feel bad because of me), he was a tad older and one would expect a bit smarter, and he knew this would be Roryβs first time but he didnβt ask her to consent, he didnβt pause to make sure she wanted that, to make sure she agreed or was comfortable, in fact he didnβt really care at first when she started to show being uncomfortable. He didnβt ask if she was OK. Instead, he was only caring about himself. He didnβt even wait to ask her how she was feeling, actually he wasnβt very interested in thatβ¦ and this wasnβt a random teen at a party, this was supposed to be her boyfriend, and in the words of people of Team Jess, the one who loved her and understood herβ¦ yet she had to push him off and he still didnβt care about her comfort level he snapped at her berating her why did she come there that he didnβt force her, so on top of pushing he made her feel like crap in what was almost her first time.Β
Now, on adult, revival Jess:
I like that later on when he shows up, seems to have dropped most of the βtude but what happens in his personal life we donβt have a clue and we see a Rory who, rejects him flat out (season 4), basically says she regrets leaving Dean for him (same season), uses him and tells him she loves someone else (season 6) and hasnβt had contact with him in years and barely tells him much about her writing or personal issues when they talk, doesnβt show him her pages (hello, heβs a writer why not discuss that with him?) and then barely grabs his sleeve and the front of his t-shirt when sheβs happy jumping excitedly around him (may I add, the jumping happily is not ABOUT him? He just happened to be there), yet she doesnβt hug her supposed friend at all in any point? (revival) Rory doesnβt want Jess for Rory from what is shown, doesnβt she deserve the chance to be with the one she obviously chooses? And honestly, in my opinion, Jess deserves better than to apparently pine away after 10 years for a girl who doesnβt show any interest in him. So no, Iβm not team Jess for Rory because Rory isnβt team Jess for Rory. And Iβm damn glad, Milo seems to be of the same opinion and so it would appears, are the writers.
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I will fight anyone who doesn't think that Emily Gilmore was the best part of the revival. This 8 inch quote is now listedππ¬#etsy #embroidery #handmadebusiness #handembroidery #handmade #hoopart #gilmoregirls #ggrevival #emilygilmore #yearinthelife #gilmoregirlsquote #gilmoregirlsembroidery #artificeandbullshit #embroideryquote #crafty #craftsposure
Unlike others, us Sophies, love Logan and Rory together and donβt like drama, so we enjoy our team. If you wish to join us go go go. But REMEMBER you MUST answer the question or you wonβt get in
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Finally finished this 8 inch Emily Gilmore piece (a month later). It should be in the shop tomorrow after a good wash, dry, & iron! If you'd like to claim it before then message me on here or etsyπ #etsy #embroidery #handembroidery #hoopart #gilmoregirls #emilygilmore #gilmoregirlsquote #gilmoregirlsyearinthelife #yearinthelife #handmade #handmadehustle #ggrevival #gilmoregirlsrevival #handstitched
Rory may be pregnant with Logan's baby at the end of the revival, but I do think they were trying to make it so that Logan is her Chris and Jess is her Luke. The fact they made a point to tell us that he's still pining for her.... like c'mon. That's exactly Luke. He pines for Lorelai who is wishing for it to work out with Chris C MON GUYS, it's clear as day. Jess is her endgame in the future!
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Alexis Bledel - HAPPY BIRTHDAY Alexis - what a fascinating young lady - her allure is extraordinary and as Rory Gilmore, #gilmoregirls and then as Emily Malek #handmaidstale - for which she won the Emmy - she was and still is loved all over the world - I drew this almost 4 years ago- and I am reposting to celebrate her β¦. Omg ! 40th birthday !!! β¦β¦β¦β¦β¦..β€οΈβ¦β¦β¦β¦β¦β¦. #gilmoregirls #starshollow #ggrevival #gilmoregirlsrevival #lorelaigilmore #laurengraham #rorygilmore #alexisbledel #popvinyl #nickcelbs #nickcolport #richardgilmore #emilygilmore #kellybishop #portrait #danpalladino #loganhuntzberger #mattczuchry #ayearinthelife #gilmoregirlsseasons #gilmoregirlsreboot #gilmorenews #netflix #miloventimiglia #art #portrait #gg #drawing #korimlizalexisbledel #artbynickmoscovitz (at Forest Hills) https://www.instagram.com/p/CT4GugfLQkZ/?utm_medium=tumblr
