May 31
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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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So I am doing a week of Mentor Readings for the Queen of Swords. My dear friend @rosaofswords told me about this since every time she does a reading the Queen of Swords pops up. So, for those reading this that don't know (cause I did not) what you do is shuffle your deck. Then you hunt down the card in the deck that is haunting you. From there you look at the cards on either side of the stalker card. And bam. You have some information on why this card is haunting you. Rinse and repeat for a week to learn the lessons that it wants to teach. So, here we go. Day 1 of the Lessons of the Queen of Swords and this bitch (lovingly said) starts off with a doozy. Ten of Swords and The Tower Yup. First day and I get slapped with some pretty rough cards. But my instincts are telling me this is the Queen of Swords telling me what has set me up for the lessons I must learn. In the past I was in a rough situation work wise. I was bullied and ridiculed by a boss that was just one giant sweaty ball sack. He did not like my "life style" and called me out and told me that every chance he got. So I did the things I should have done, despite my gut telling me not to, because I refused to just lay down and take it. But, I should have listened to my gut, because that standing tall only brought be crumbling down like the Tower. In the end, I lost my job, the nut sack was justified in his treatment of me, and I moved. Of course, we will talk more about that when the Queen of Swords keeps dragging me the rest of the week. But needless to say I felt defeated. Like the Ten of Swords, I felt betrayed and completely smote. I did not have much heart to do anything for a while, but I had a husband that needed me. So, we moved and got help from friends so I could heal. And that ends the tragic past of the Lessons of the Queen of Swords. Stay tuned tomorrow for the next day of getting kicked in the balls by a tarot deck. It loves me. I know. It's just honest. And I need that. #lessonsofthequeenofswords #tragicbackstory #queenofswords #lessons #tarot #tarotreadersofinstagram #long #gettingitoffmychest #iactuallyfeelalittlebetter #day1 #slightlyafraidofday2
I’m so fucking fed up
Tumblr has essentially died since the whole ‘no nudity’ bullshit...(which is a shame as there was some great porn) so I doubt many people use this forum, and that makes me feel kind of better about spilling my heart out in some dumb text post.
I am struggling and I am stressed and I am tired. I am adjusting to being alone more and it’s weird but I know I can do it. I’m angry at my past, I’m angry for the future. I feel sick and scared. I feel isolated and alone.
This was gonna be a whole in-depth piece about how I feel but I’m just gonna smoke a joint and go to bed.
A long term relationship is...
A slightly more in depth rant, to the vague facebook statuses.
What a long term relationship is, from my point of view. Please remember this is my opinion. I’m sure may of you are in a perfect long term relationship, or still in that honeymoon phase. The honeymoon phase does not last.
I guess the perfect long term relationship does exist, and these would be the right ones to be in. The ones that last. I guess by that definition, a negative long term one,…
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This is the band, song, and lyrics of why I got my first tattoo and what it was of. All glory to the one in existence. That definitely is a lyric that a believer would write, and put their heart into singing. I used to be told I wasn't allowed to listen to this (not my parents or any family member) because it was a bad influence. I don't care if it is Hillsong or The Devil Wears Prada saying.. or screaming the words "All Glory to the One in Existence, bring upon your Name, your Grace, You're Everything"... it means the same to me. This isn't a bad influence. It is actually more so how I worship on a daily basis. #tidbitofinformation #nobodycares #gettingitoffmychest #onmymind #weighingonmyheart
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God is always Working
Never asleep, always moving Growing things and putting them in perspective Today is my first California interview. The Diamond Center.. Needless to say I am extremely nervous I'm not sure why I need a job. I need a job. Officially documented my childhood traumas My wife has read them and still no conversation has been sparked.. Maybe I'm not leaving the door open wide enough Maybe my cry for conversation isn't loud enough Maybe it's me. Back to reality, I do feel an immense sense of pressure I knew it would be imminent before I got here But there it is, steady growing Aja and I have been here three months now The fun and games is almost over Jobs, "savings" and money delegate all conversation Honestly, I just want to be in school already Have new things to stress about I don't plan to stop school until I get my degrees Graduate included. I can feel the stress radiating from my wife and my mind begins to scramble
Fuck assholes who still have no realization of how badly they fucked you over, and no understanding of the fucking concept of fault and how it applies to their shitty selves. What a fucking waste of two hours of discussion only to have them completely disregard the fact that I was pissed at them and go, “Cool, glad to know things are no longer sour between us :):):):):)”
Like, you lil’ bitch, you are so incredibly dense to not know that I will always be “salty” about your mind-fucking, guilt-tripping, manipulative shit. So please, get out of my fucking life and quit desperately trying to cling to whatever goddamn emotional ties you think you have with me.
salty
I’m salty af. Every time some one announces they are pregnant I dont get happy. I’m envious as fuck and lets be honest, I’m just so freakn salty. I cant be happy for them and it bothers me. But if you lost your baby, I’m sure you wouldn’t be happy either. It’s not like I dont hope the baby will be healthy, I just wish my baby was still here. My husband is sleeping right now and I can’t help but think of those days when he would cuddle with my stomach because he was showing love to our baby. I know that this miscarriage was not my fault but I cant help but feel bad that I’m not giving him a baby. I’ve been going to the doctor at least twice a week since I had the miscarriage and she always reminds me that it was not my fault. But the pain is still there. and the fact that a lot of my coworkers are pregnant and everyone on my facebook seems to be announcing their 2nd or 3rd child defenitely doesn’t help. I just wish I could be happy for all these parents but I’m not. I just want my baby back. Does the pain of losing your baby ever go away?? I need to feel like this pain will someday go away and that I will feel happy for all these new parents. I dont want to be salty for the rest of my life.