#getting it wrong

'tram in new york' by j.h. lartigue, c. 1900 in 1000 dessous: a history of lingerie - gilles néret (1998)

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I very mindfully, thoughtfully, and with deliberate intent deleted the app. That isn't the place from which I come or the place I want to go with meditation. See? I'm learning!

I can set a timer for however long I want to meditate (usually ten minutes), close my eyes, and focus on my breathing. It's not that I am sorry for learning how to meditate on the app. I really did learn. But the direction the marketers are going with it ain't me, ain't what I want out of it, and I think are kinda contrary to the point.

Heh, then again, I do yoga to be physically flexible and fluidly mobile, which kinda wasn't the original point. So... inconsistent there.

So, here's where I laugh. What if taking a Daily Walk, something that is certainly a part of my culture, but not some Big Thing for Personal Development, was seen by another culture as Some Big Exotic Thing To Do for Personal Development?

Like aliens who saw humans doing it and figured that's where our Space Orc qualities came from? Would there be Teachers and Traditions around that damn half-hour walk? Arguments about Original Intent? Podcasts about How Humans Take a Walk? Special gear marketed for it? Arguments about how 10,000 steps was some sort of Spiritual Advancement?*

(Yeah, I know, that stuff already exists, but imagine it was from a Not-Human culture, if you get me, and how the Aliens might get it wrong in embarrassing and kinda cringy ways).

I didn’t want to spend the money that would be needed to do a single summer transformation. And I’m hoping that if I find a good method for a less expensive and subtle transformation that I can share that with others and help with general de-lawn-ification.

It’s not going well!

But, and this is very important, that always means I am learning a ton and I love that.

Writing the other involves creating characters who differ from us (ethnicity, gender, sexual preference, age, personal philosophy, etc). When writers don’t take the time to research and think this through, it can come off artificial and supports stereotypes rather than contributing to the work’s diversity.

In written works, skin color is overvalued as a difference, and tends to be described in great detail when the character isn’t white (socially emphasized as the norm or primary color in the US).

Comparing the skin of people of color with food (she had a cafe au lait complexion, her dark chocolate hand, etc) can be a way of othering the characters, making them less human than the characters who don’t get compared to food.  Are they people or something to consume? This method of description is almost never used with white characters.   She stood in the sun, her cheeks like silken tofu, as she waited for her Uber. Her hand, the rich color of peeled garlic held him back. Mayonnaise boy quickly joined the group. 

While it’s true some writers will describe white characters as having creamy or milky skin, it’s not the norm to even note white character’s colors, as they are seen as the default. The connotations are also very different when a person in a position of social power or privilege granted  by skin color does this to someone who is often othered.

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Writing the Other is both a book and a class for writers developed by Nisi Shawl and Cynthia Ward.