Hiya, here is a long ass rant/vent about my Netflix Witcher frustrations with how the show-runners are treating Jaskier's character. Because even though I love the books and games, I couldn't give a rat's ass about the changes Lauren made to the witcher plot. Because if it were to be adapted into a show following the source material word for word, page for page, it wouldn't be worth watching because I already know the damn story. It's refreshing to see these changes, new ideas etc. But ofc, I do still have a bone to pick with them.
The venting part:
Ok, so you know how in my bio it says that this is a Jaskier centric blog and that Jaskier deserves to be loved? Yeah, that's because I'm salty AF, the saltiest motherfucker on Earth right now. Because the way Netflix or...mostly Lauren treat Jaskier as a character on this show is atrocious! A beloved fan favorite they intend to milk but know not how, using him instead as nothing other than comedic relief and the occasional tool to move the plot in a certain direction.
They're stingy with his character development, with his screen time, with complexity. When we see him in pain it is later dismissed, as if it never happened. Where are his bruises and burns from Rience's torture? He was bleeding from his mouth, he had probably taken a few punches to his face. And Rience held his flame to Jaskier's fingers for at least five seconds, the heat of which compares to a lit match, nobody could walk away from something like that without second degree burns that would take many weeks to heal. And in Jaskier's case? Walking around with an exposed wound like that, touching things all the time, crawling across a dirty floor under the table when the witchers were fighting Voleth Mier? He realistically should have had a serious infection by now.
Also, tell me I am not the only one who noticed this, and I ask myself this quite often: Why OH WHY does it seem like the ONLY people who enjoy Jaskier's company, his presence, him in general, are the audiences he performs for and the elves? Everybody else seems to either shit on him the moment they see him or keep him around because he's loyal and amusing.
Idk about you, but I don't take kindly to the fact that the only character to treat Jaskier with respect and dignity in season 2 was Yennefer. Although THANK FUCK for Yennefer, I fucking LOVE her so much! But yeah.....
Like sure thing, Geralt evidently trusts Jaskier a lot, he is obviously fond of him, but to be honest I haven't seen enough of that fondness on screen to get the impression that their friendship is just like their bromance in the books. In season 1 they only show us scenes of Geralt barely putting up with Jaskier, ignoring him, insulting his singing (which is basically Jaskier's core, his life, his everything, it's what he lives and breathes for), barely admitting to their friendship out loud and then blaming Jaskier for everything that went wrong in his life! Like dude, I know Jaskier isn't exactly a pure and innocent cinnamon roll, I'm aware that he is a slutty little trouble magnet who can sometimes talk too much, but he is also a good friend! Even with whatever little screen time he gets, he is every inch the good friend that Dandelion is in the books!
In season 1 it's very clear that he cares, he asked Geralt if he's ok, he said "Talk to me", he tried to help Geralt deal with Borch's fake death, he offered Geralt an opportunity to go on a vacation, because he gives a fucking damn about him. Even in Cintra, when he asked Geralt for a favor, aka guard him, he made a comment about rubbing chamomile on his body, aka most likely massaging Geralt's sore arse muscles after a hunt.
But Geralt? Just the bare fucking minimum, saving Jaskier's life a few times, a few fond smiles here and there, otherwise looking rather uninterested in Jaskier's life. A brick wall that barely says anything nice to him. Or well, looks like talking to him in general is a chore.
And season 2? Whoooo boy! Jaskier still cares! Though he has to pry basic human decency out of Geralt in that jail cell at Oxenfurt:
- "We don't have time, we need to go"
- "Are you sure? Because the last time we saw eachother, you basically told me to fuck off, remember? And you left me on a mountain!"
- "Jaskier.."
- "Don't fucking Jaskier me, I'm talking to you, this is how this works!"
Jaskier still makes do with Geralt's pathetic arse "I need your help" and leaves EVERYTHING in his life behind to be there for Geralt. He left his Sandpiper smuggling business, he didn't even get to pack a bag, trailing after Geralt like a loyal dog, still wearing the shirt he was tortured in, with his dried blood on it, because Geralt needed his friend.
Thankfully Geralt seems to be doing better by Jaskier in the second season, but not nearly enough to be enough! I mean, Geralt came for Jaskier only when he needed something from him, didn't apologize to him until Jaskier hinted at the problem (Via discussing Yennefer's betrayal, she's been pushed into a corner, she's desperate, it's why people do stupid things and SAY stupid things). And Geralt's apology was shit, because he didn't offer it until Jaskier had accidentally guilt tripped him into it. And Jaskier? Yeah, no, he might have forgiven his friend for the Mountain, but he is still human, he's still got feelings and knew he deserved an apology. However, right there and then it clearly wasn't the right time, whatnot with Geralt's apology being too simple and nonchalant, not nearly serious and earnest enough to undo the hurt that had given birth to Burn Butcher Burn. Not to mention the dwarves being within earshot and the dangerous mission ahead. Which is why I understand why Jaskier brushed off Geralt's pathetic attempt at making amends with a joke.
When I was watching the Rare Species episode of season 1, the expression on Jaskier's face after getting shouted at by his best friend honestly broke my fucking heart. So when season 2 aired, I started binging it with high hopes of getting to see Geralt apologizing, them becoming friends again, Geralt being a better friend to Jaskier while also being badass as shit with his child surprise, battling monsters etc. But I did not expect it to fall so flat and I did not expect for LITERALLY EVERYONE to treat Jaskier like absolute dog shit. INCLUDING THE SHOW RUNNERS!
Geralt was basically using Jaskier for his loyalty, the dwarves found Jaskier's presence as the most annoying thing ever, Ciri literally fucking ignored him in all of their scenes together, the show-runners fucking forgot that Jaskier was tortured and filmed every scene with Joey in it as if Rience never happened, then for some dumb reason Lambert fucking had to be more of a prick than necessary, effectively alienating Jaskier with one single word, when that man had done nothing to deserve it!
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- One of the rarest rare pairs in the Witcher fandom for sure! And guess what? I LOVE IT!!!
- They chose the perfect actor to play Vesemir in season 2! Kim Bodnia is a charismatic Danish actor with a charming accent, his performance was AMAZING!
- As of season 2, I personally am a bit cross with most characters in the series for the way they treated Jaskier. Geralt used Jaskier for his loyalty and his apology was shit, so Geraskier prompts/ideas don't come to me as quickly as they used to.
- Lauren went and killed off Eskel, so to cook up some Jaskel content it would have to be an AU where he doesn't die and would require a LOT of creativity not only to make it possible for him to be alive, but also mix and match his personality from video clips of his game counterpart on YouTube, since Eskel didn't get enough screen time on Netflix to show the entirety of his character.
- Lambert was an absolute dick to Jaskier, so Lambskier is rocky too, Lambskier's only saving grace is that Lambert and Jaskier didn't have a lot of scenes together, leaving a lot of room for thinking up ways in which those two could bond.
- WHICH BRINGS ME TO MY CURRENT FAVORITE JASKIER SHIPS: Yennskier (I already made a post about) and of course Veskier!
- Veskier, being a ship of a younger pretty man and an older witcher warrior, has mostly gotten attention from the extremely kinky side of the fandom. Daddy kink, BDSM, dom/sub, breeding kink and other kinks galore. Even more often, this ship is mixed with others in a M/M/M/M/M setting, you know, I know you know, we all have seen the witchersexual!Jaskier tag on AO3. And while I do enjoy a little well written smut from time to time, most of the Veskier fanfics out there do not quite suit my taste.
- Vesemir and our beloved, adorable, brilliant walking sunshine trouble maker of a bard, did not interact in season 2 at all, I doubt that they will ever, with both being side characters. HOWEVER, that makes this pairing FREE REAL ESTATE! Who is to say what is likely and what is not? Who is to say they won't work? Who is to say that they couldn't have gotten together at some point off screen?
- It makes me a little sad that people don't realize just how much potential there is with Veskier! Much like Yennskier, the theoretical romantic relationship between these two, at least going off of Netflix canon alone, would be surprisingly healthy and wholesome.
- Every time I imagine them together, I headcanon Jaskier as not entirely human. Either part-fae or of elder blood.
- Veskier is a perfect ship for emotional healing, for fluff, for the kinky side, for the crack, for happiness!
- FLUFF × CRACK × SMUT × HURT/COMFORT
Let me set the scene
- After Voleth Mier, Jaskier realizes that he somehow ended up in a situation where he lost his precious lute, became a wanted man in Oxenfurt (a city he considered his home), got tortured for information about his ex-bff, then said ex-bff came to bail him out of jail because he needed him, not for the sake of making amends, essentially using Jaskier to find Yennefer and then sending him off with Ciri as a glorified nanny. And here he is, at the top of another mountain, in Kaer Morhen, where Geralt is too busy with Ciri to talk while the other witchers are rude to him. He is penniless, injured, has nothing but the bloodied clothes on his back and is suffering from nightmares about Rience.
- Vesemir is a tired old man who has witnessed too much bloodshed in his lifetime. His body may be enhanced and therefore he doesn't feel the physical effects of aging (if at all) as much as he does the mental. All witchers were human at some point, he can actually feel the psychological toll of living much longer than humans are designed to. Still, he has to be strong as the master of the keep, to set an example and to be a dependable source of wisdom and guidance for his pups. He will never admit it out loud, but the things he has to deal with after Voleth Mier overwhelm him. There's Geralt's whole elder blood child surprise thing, constant repairs of a crumbling fortress, honoring and mourning the fallen witchers, processing the fact that new mutated mosters are appearing and they don't have the mutagens to create more of their kind to protect the continent and survive. There is nothing he can do about it except deal with the anxiety of knowing these stone cold facts.
- In this whole mess, two broken souls might just be what the other needs. Where Vesemir could do with a break, with a little joy, Jaskier is more than enough to help with that. And where Jaskier could do with being taken care of after everything he's been through, after everything he lost, Vesemir is a perfect candidate for that job. Their relationship would be yin and yang, balance and harmony personified.
- Honestly, please tell me that you see it too! They have a lot in common, Jaskier is a professor, mastered the seven liberal arts, grammar, logic, rhetoric, arithmetic, geometry, music, astronomy and according to canon, he passed every exam with flying colors!
- Vesemir is wise, he has lived for centuries, he has witnessed history, he was trained as an alchemist, has extensive knowledge about many things. He is a bottomless pit of knowledge.
- They could talk for hours together and never run out of topics to discuss.
- And the sex? OH BROTHER! Jaskier fucked his way across the continent countless times, while Vesemir is so ancient there is no way that he hadn't bedded a considerable amount of people. Yeah, the sex would be mind blowing I should think.
- Jaskier is a hopeless romantic and Vesemir is a traditional gentleman (when he is wooing the damsels, according to game!canon Lambert.) They would probably be very fluffy and affectionate with eachother. Verbose compliments, music, cuddling, kissing.
- LMAO, imagine everyone else's reaction!!!
- Geralt would be mortified seeing his friend making out with his father figure on the kitchen table 🤣🤣🤣
- The other witchers would probably feel uneasy, shocked at first too, until they get used to it. HAHA ONCE THEY DO LAMBERT IS GONNA FUCKING MILK IT
"Morning papa Vesemir, papa Jaskier"
- KAER MORONS!!!
- Also, the theoretical adventures a witty traveling part fae bard and a silverfox witcher could have, make me beyond giddy!
