I want to hear this yap. So my question for you is, what are your feelings on Bills reaction in the Mexican restaurant and his next action of sending bounty hunters after Ford even tho Ford had no more use for him as a pawn?
I frequently reread the mexican bar crashout on its own lol. It's like the one time in his book that he just starts blatantly not considering the reader's presence (tbh who were implied to be dizzy/ mentally fucked in someway that might suggest they weren't fully coherent/concious?? idk if im phrasing that right) - which is kind of a treasure to come across in depictions of his character because I feel lile he's the sort of guy who normally exists a bit calculated to not accidentally be vulnerable.
Even to himself- he lies both ways, to himself and others, He tends to believe his own reality he painted. And to witness him flat out mind-projecting the mexican bar police transcript where he cries and asks for "one sixer please", and attempts to all his mom (which I see as age regression- HE PROJECTED THE AGE REGRESSION ON PAPER FOR THE READER (even though reader is not in the right mind- That is quite an acknowledgement for HIM to make for HIMSELF).
My god the theraprism actually got him to write a 208 page diary where he could also like write a few half-lie stuff to feel fully himself whilst writing it, what a fucking achievement.
Note: I feel like Bill acknowledges a lot of his dissociative symptoms exist- He says " dissociated to wake up to see that he conquered another galaxy, score!"
But then, I think perhaps even if projecting it meant kind of acknowledging it, He might've not fully come to face with the information in the tanscript- He moves on, disregarding the drop- never mentions it again and all we get after this point about sixer- is how "he played him like a fiddle", and an occasional "Ford is a betrayer" -
He exists in a half state of denial, where sometimes he does think his feelings are valid (without considering that perhaps; It would mean that he is not an infallible manipulator), and other times where he thinks he played him like a fiddle, uncaring (without wanting to consider that he did in actuality felt something for Ford).
The next page, He locks in finally (perhaps as Ford was his last straw; coupled with him actually having a deep connection with him) to make his portal. Says how he doesn't mind captivity (absolute lie btw).
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Another way that that page is special to me is how much of a juxtaposition it is seeing Ford's reaction to the harrowing abuse - striking out his options- nulling out how much he was missed by almost no one. Wondering if Stanley would even show up and Bill in the next page drinking it out in O'Sadley's calling their break up a way of keeping it spicy 😭 fucking triangle.
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Are you speaking about that part from journal 3? Where he told his henchmaniacs that the first person to find and bring Ford to him gets their own galaxy?
I think in an isolated instance where if instead of Ford, there was another person that Bill talked to in a casual way in the same place. The exact same would happen, given that they were - Brilliant, romantically challenged, and morally ambigious (His criteria for favourite human pals). He'd try to collect and taunt them before eventually dooming them to oblivion (turning them to insanity or some bullshit like that- Intentionally or not)
But with Ford, who has an actual bodily mutation that marks him different- along with the many special moments they shared with each other, parallel each other- might get another shot at joining him with the henchmaniacs after Bill gets out of his anger over the preceived betrayal (Won't be long compared to his next betrayal from Ford- succeeding in preventing the armageddon, and killing him).
Side note: I love how mr. "burn down your oppressor's house" was considering going back to his abuser- who might even kill him for all Ford knows for a petty little insult. Speaks to the highly personal nature of their relationship. Recovering Cipherholjc
