#gender constructs

Antiquated gender expectations

Men:

Stoic

Gravel voice

Loud

Humor

Unfriendly to women

Strong

Leader

Secretive

Protective

Unhappy/grumpy

Gentle to women

Respectful to men

Brave

Sex addict

Control issues

Women

Quiet

Gentle

Weak

Timid

Charismatic

Coward

Graceful

Ashamed

Beautiful

One-note or zero-note character

Only ever honest with women

Surface-level

Foolish

Complacent

Musical

Homemaker

Servant

Intuitive

Compensating

Codependent

This is the same for every person in the world. If you are a cis man, and to you makeup holds no gender, and pink is masculine to you, and you like fishing and sports as both something masculine and not at the same time. Good! Good for you man.

At the same time, a woman may like all of those same things, but see them all as feminine instead. That’s also good! Good for her

My point is, it’s good to understand that while one thing could be masculine to you, it may be feminine to another. And you have to learn to understand that a dress may be feminine on you (in a way you see as positive) but if your bestie, let’s say in this example, who’s a trans man who sees things on them as masculine, puts it on? It’s changed. The ‘gender’ of the dress has changed, because the person wearing it is different.

I write this post with no tone in mind. This isn’t a post yelling at people to try and understand, or pleading, just a statement. Some days I feel more strongly about this topic, I’ll see some post and sigh and feel frustrated that someone can’t understand that gender is in the eye of the beholder just as much as beauty is. But right now I’m not feeling too strongly on this. I just wanted kinda get my thoughts out you know? Like having a shower thought and rambling to a friend about it afterwards. In casual conversation shared either side by side on a couch, or online both sitting comfy at a desk with a computer or laptop open

I don’t believe that this is one of those things that every single person is made to believe because of their environment, because it really is in a way like beauty. And despite how many people grow up with beauty standards in their mind like a thorn, and have to slowly pull it out while fixing the parts of themselves that were pricked so they can stop hurting themselves and others through bad beauty standards - other people will always be born not understanding or liking beauty standards from the get-go. However uncommon it is that someone doesn’t get poked in the mind by those standards

I’m agender so it’s always been pretty easy for me to understand this; that gender is just what you make it. Of course when I was like, a toddler, I had no sense of this. Or at least a much looser sense - knowing some things were for girls, others for boys, but that it was okay to like something for the opposite gender. So, nowhere near as deep as I know things to be now, but that’s just kinda how it is being a toddler lmao. Y’know? We never think much about things when we’re that young. Often times we may have a subconscious understanding but we don’t realize or think about it at that age

We're made of both masculine and feminine energies. Our feminine experiences support masculine direction, and our masculine structure supports feminine flow. These energies are oppositional yet complementary. Working with both allows us to express ourselves fully.

The Qualities of Our Femininity

Our feminine qualities are intangible representing the source of insight, emotional depth, and intuitive understanding. These qualities reside in our internal world - the nuances and experiences only known to us. How we feel internally is the foundation with which we lead in our external world.

These qualities include our beliefs, thought processes, awareness, range of preferences, assumptions, and the unique ways we perceive our external world.

The Qualities of Our Masculinity

Our masculine qualities are tangible and emerge from feminine insights. These qualities help us navigate our external world. Feminine qualities provide us necessary information which guides masculine action.

Masculine qualities include intentional actions, behaviours, and responses. Our masculine energy drives us toward our vision, taking concrete steps to bring our purpose to fruition.

Sacred Union

When our masculine and feminine energies work harmoniously, they create a sacred union. This balance of internal and external energies makes us whole—an individual. The deeper we explore our feminine depths, the higher we can ascend through our masculine heights.

Feminine energy is also a force of destruction. To achieve a masculine goal we must confront and dismantle our limiting beliefs. Addressing these limitations frees us to move toward our envisioned purpose.

Masculine energy, resourceful and structured, leads with the insights provided by feminine devotion. Together, these energies create the essence of our wholeness.

Masculine and Feminine Energies as Social Constructs

Society has wrongly attributed masculine and feminine energies exclusively to cis-males and cis-females, respectively. These beliefs have imposed strictly defined roles on genders, ousting those who do not meet these societal parameters.

However, these energies are devoid of gender. We carry both the energy of creation and destruction, irrespective of our genders. The interplay of these energies varies in individuals, shaping the diversity of human sexuality and defying binary constructs.

Final Thoughts

Throughout life, we draw on the insights and tenacity of these energies. When we surrender to our purpose, we allow the wisdom from these energies to guide our creations.

Hi anon, Thank you for sharing your perspective with us. As a cis bi/pan woman of a certain age, I feel what you're saying - pretty keenly, actually. Because sometimes I just sit here like "I DO NOT GET WHAT THESE KIDS ARE TALKING ABOUT".

THIS IS GONNA GET LONG AND NOT HAVE PICTURES KIDS SO CLICK IF YOU WANNA.

- Marshall McLuhan

It’s time for humanity 2.0 y’all. 

See: gender, race, and other constructs that are based in social oppression not god, destiny, or science. Oppression masked as nature.

It's typically one of the first questions asked when announcing a soon to be born or just born babe. Because that's what the general public means when they coo and go, "Is it a bit or a girl?"

If you point this out, most people will get uncomfortable. They'll argue that it's different. But is it?

Science suggests now that babes come into the world with a "gender" neutral brain. That even when there's no difference between a baby girl and boy, parents approach them differently. They tend to protect the girls and push the boys. They buy the girls imagination expanding toys and the boys are encouraged towards more physical activities. They even speak to them differently, resulting in the disparity of age where a girl or boy will start talking (talking to boys less often results, usually, in the boys not speaking as soon).

But gender is a construct. Are there physical differences between infants? Of course. Some are born with a visible penis, some are born with a vagina, some have a mixture or even hidden genitals.

Why are we so focused on the genitals of infants?

My mother, fully accepting of any trans person she meets in real life and attempts to combat her taught bigotry, got mad when I said a friend was raising their child gender neutral.

"That's stupid, is it a bit or a girl?"

And that's when it hit me. That question doesn't care how the child feels or presents or their identity (too young to know or communicate yet). It wants to know about what's in that diaper. And that's disturbing.

We all know gender is a concept as much as it's anything. There are "physical qualifiers" according to many but those that don't fit in one of two categories are ignored. Cultures going back millennia with more complex ideas of gender are ignored. Anything more than "woman = vagina, man = penis" is ignored (today in America, presumably other countries but I won't speak for them).

Even with the slow, slow moves towards a country that's more accepting of trans people, we're still obsessed with what's in the pants. "We get that you're a woman but *wink wink nudge nudge* are you a woman?"

It's an ingrained, established idea that others are entitled to your body, even if it's just knowledge of it. I've seen it, in afabs, present as not being able to or knowing how to set up bodily boundaries. People touch and invade space from literal infancy. In amabs, specifically cis men, it can present as forcefully sharing their body, thinking it's appropriate to not have those bodily boundaries. Think unwanted sexts. Talking about erections or erotic dreams. Etc.